She Will Be Loved
by knicnort3
Summary: Bella always loved Edward since she was a little girl; the only problem was that he was her half sister's boyfriend. Events in her teen years send Bella down a spiral of depression and self destruction until adulthood. Sum inside! AH
1. Unexpected

**She Will Be Loved**

"_I don't mind spending everyday  
>Out on your corner in the pouring rain.<br>Look for the girl with the broken smile  
>Ask her if she wants to stay awhile<br>And she will be loved  
>She will be loved"<em>

~Maroon 5

Description: Bella always loved Edward since she was a little girl; the only problem was that he was her half sister's boyfriend. Events in her teen years send Bella down a spiral of depression and self destruction, until she hits her lowest point and attempts suicide. Her turbulent lifestyle and the wedge between her and her family, causes her to leave and lose contact with them for over ten years until a chance meeting brings her back.

At that point, Edward's life was picture perfect…on the outside, but how happy is he really with his wife and son? Something is off in his life, will fate step in and make things right? Will Edward and Bella find the lives they were meant to be living?

*AH, E/B, OCC, E&B POV's, Rated M for language and mature themes like sex and drug use.

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A/N: _This is not a song-fic; I just love that verse of the song "She Will Be Loved" from Maroon 5 and was the inspiration for this story. If you've read my other AH stories, then you know I love twists, but I'm not promising any for this story. This is just good old fashion angst and romance…with maybe a few surprises. This does have some high school in it (mainly flash backs), but mostly focuses on their adult years. I'm not planning on this being a long story, but we'll see how it goes. _

Thanks for giving this story a chance, I hope you like it.

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><p>~Chapter 1 – <em>Unexpected<em>~

**EPOV**

When I was younger, I had my whole life planned out; I was going to go to an ivy league school and become a lawyer. I would then move to New York, open my own practice, and live in a penthouse in Manhattan where I'd spend every night with a different beautiful woman. I would work hard and play harder, nothing to tie me down and no responsibilities outside of work…but life didn't ask me what I wanted.

My parents were killed in a car crash three weeks before I graduated high school, and for various reasons, the state took my entire inheritance. I thought about getting a job and applying for a student loan for college, but when I really thought about it, nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

Perhaps it was my need to lash out and fight something, _anything_, that drove me to the military. But it was my going away party right before I left for basic training, that actually changed my life forever; being drunker than I had ever been before in my life, I unknowingly conceived my son. I had never had unprotected sex before, but with a mix of grief from the loss of my parents, and fear of my impending involvement with the war raging in Iraq, I overlooked responsibility just for one night. I was scared shitless and needed to numb myself into a stupor, one that I hardly remembered the next afternoon when I finally woke up.

After boot camp, I was deployed overseas where I served twenty four months before I visited home. I probably could have gone home sooner, but with my parents dead and no siblings, there really wasn't any reason to, so I volunteered to stay. I didn't even plan on returning to Forks at all, but with nowhere else to go, I figured I could at least crash with my best friend Emmett until I had to return to duty.

"Uh…so, how are things?" Emmett asked me during my first evening staying at his apartment.

"Eh…you know," I said distractedly as I played his new Xbox game.

"Yeah, well…things here have been…cool…you know…but maybe you should call Tanya," Emmett said strangely.

"Why?" I asked disturbed by the thought. Tanya was my high school girlfriend, we had been together on and off since the seventh grade, but when I left, we decided to separate permanently. She was going off to college, and I wasn't sure when or _if _I'd return, so neither of us wanted to wait for each other. We had a fucked up relationship anyway, always fighting and breaking up every other week. She was extremely jealous and controlling, and I guess I wasn't much better. I had no idea why we continued on for so long, but something always seemed to bring us back together.

"Just call her bro, or better yet, go and see her," Emmett insisted.

"Em, I have no desire to rekindle that," I said knowing Tanya brought nothing but stress into my life.

"Dude, just trust me!" Emmett said heatedly.

"No way in hell," I said confused by his persistence. Emmett never liked Tanya, so I wondered why the hell he gave a shit.

"Man, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but…she had your kid. You have a son," Emmett said slowly…and that's when my life took a left turn. I had thought going into war was the most scared I had ever been, but I was wrong. As I walked up the steps to the Swan house, I knew nothing in my life would ever be the same again.

Tanya was just as much of a bitch as she ever was, but holding my son for the first time was a surreal moment that turned me into a different person. Despite my superficial feelings for Tanya, my son became the most important thing in my life, so for him, we married a few weeks later and just like that, I had a new family and a new reason for living.

Tanya and I may have been on the outs the last time we saw each other, but she did honor me by naming our son _Edward Anthony Masen the Third_, which meant a lot considering it hadn't been that long since my father passed. We called him Anthony, and I savored every second I had to spend with him. All too soon, it was time for me to return to duty, but I had renewed focus and determination; it wasn't the life I thought I would have, but it would still be a great one.

I spent the next two years coming in and out of my son's life due to my job in the military, and I knew when my four years of active duty was over, I'd never reenlist. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew nothing else mattered as long as I took care of my family.

Things had always been fine between Tanya and me when I was home on leave, but being home permanently was definitely different.

"So, how's the birthday party coming along?" Emmett asked me as we were on lunch break. Since finishing my active duty, Emmett and I had opened our own car restoration and mechanic shop in downtown Forks. We did pretty good business, but we were in no way rich and still struggled occasionally during the slower months. I always liked working on cars, it was a pastime I shared with my father, but I never expected to do that as a living and at times I felt completely stagnant in my life. But, I was providing for my family, and that was what was truly important.

"Oh…you know we save all year for it," I shrugged. "I'll just be glad when it's over."

"Yeah…why does Tanya insist on it so much anyway? I mean, I get that she wants to be celebrated and all, but throwing a party for half the town has to put a real dent in the wallet."

"It definitely does that. Hey, by the way, I have to get off early to pick up Anthony from school, can you cover for me?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, but I thought Tanya had Fridays off?" Emmett asked confused.

"She does, but she's getting her nails done…or something."

"So…you have to get off work so she can get her nails done?" he asked incredulously.

"The lady that does them for her gives discounts on weekdays, and we can't afford to be spending any more money than necessary right now," I explained.

"Ok, here's a thought…don't throw the huge party," Emmett said smugly.

"Come on Em, you know how Tanya is. She needs people to think we have more money than we do."

"That's shallow," Emmett said bitterly.

"Hey, she's still my wife, don't talk shit about her," I warned him…even though he was absolutely right. Tanya and I had become the somewhat 'golden couple' in Forks. Our jobs weren't exactly glamorous, but we had a nice home and drove good cars. We hid the fact that we were up to our eyeballs in debt, and that her parents co-signed for our house. Everyone thought we had the perfect relationship, everyone but Emmett, he knew better.

Our relationship could have been worse, we made a point to never fight in front of Anthony, and after a while we didn't fight at all... we didn't speak enough to fight. We had very separate lives, except when we were in public. Tanya was big into public perception, and so I went along with it for the sake of my sanity, but Anthony had it the worst. He always had to be perfect, he was never out of line, shirt always pressed and tucked in, and there was never even a single hair out of place on his head. He was quiet and didn't have very many friends, but I always wondered if it was because he was so worried of doing anything that would upset his mother. He was always that kid telling the others that he couldn't climb fences and steal fruit off the neighbor's tree. How was he supposed to make friends if he never allowed himself to get into any trouble? Ten year old boys were all about trouble, and I really wished Tanya would ease up on him a bit and allow him to breathe a little.

"So, is she going to allow Anthony to play hockey this year? He told me he really wanted to but he didn't want to ask her." Emmett said, taking me by surprise.

"Really, he said that to you?"

"Yeah, when he stayed at my place while you guys went to Tanya's friend's house for dinner a few weeks ago."

"I had no idea he wanted to play hockey," I mused. "Is he even old enough yet?"

"Yeah, he's ten. We played when we were eight, remember?" Emmett said.

"True, I guess I just forgot. I'll talk to Tanya about it tonight after she gets done with her nails," I told him and then we got back to work.

Later that evening, after Anthony went to bed, I tried talking to Tanya but I knew it would be difficult. There was a reason why we hardly spoke, and it became even more apparent when I brought up the subject.

"So…I think we should sign Anthony up for hockey this year," I said hesitantly.

"Absolutely not. That is a horrible sport and imagine what would happen if he got hurt," Tanya said without looking up from her magazine.

"I used to play hockey and I never got hurt," I contradicted her.

"Well, you were a lot tougher than him. Besides, we don't have money to put him in that right now," she said carelessly.

"Well, maybe we would if we cancelled your party!" I said getting angry.

"Edward, I have given you my entire youth, so don't you dare deny me one of the few things that makes me happy. What the hell would I tell everyone if we cancelled? We can't back out now, and I won't!" she said heatedly.

"You know what; I'm tired of that shit from you!" I yelled then. "Ever since we got married, you have been blaming me for your missed youth, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. We both were messed up the night we conceived Anthony, and if we weren't then we wouldn't be here today. _But _I'm eternally grateful we were drunk then. Anthony is the best thing in my life, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. As his mother, I would think you would feel the same way."

"If he was never conceived, then we wouldn't know the difference, would we?" she said heartlessly.

I scrunched my face in disbelief of her callousness. "You're a spiteful bitch, you know that?"

"Whatever," she said casually, so I decided to leave before I said anything more I regretted, but before I could, she had something to tell me. "By the way, I'm taking Anthony to the retreat next week."

"Retreat? What damn retreat?" I asked confused.

"The mother-child retreat in California. All my friends are going with their kids; we'll be gone for two weeks."

"Two weeks? That's his entire vacation," I said frustrated.

"Yep, you said you wanted him to make friends."

"Tanya, your friends' kids are all toddlers, who is he going to hang out with there?" I fumed.

She shrugged. "And if you are planning on bringing one of your little sluts in here while I'm gone, think again, I had cameras installed and I'll be checking the recordings daily when I'm gone."

"You had cameras installed? How much did that cost?" I asked bitterly. Despite our sexless marriage, I wasn't a cheater but after being accused of it for years, I just stopped denying it and figured she would believe what she wanted to anyway.

"The price doesn't matter, what really matters is that you don't make a fool of me with other women while I'm gone."

"Fine, I'll just go to Seattle to get my needs taken care of," I said rudely. I never usually played into her paranoia, but she was really pissing me off and I couldn't help it.

"I really don't care what you do, as long as no one sees you do it," she said, taking me aback. Even though we never were together anymore, she had always been extremely jealous so I was surprised that she was actually giving me permission to cheat. "Don't look so shocked, a lot of people have open marriages."

"Is that what you want, really?" I challenged her.

"We both have needs and neither of us want to be together in that way anymore…so why not?"

I shook my head. "Fine," I said then walked out of the room. Every conversation I had with her, just seemed to make me dislike her more and more, but she was my son's mother and if for no other reason, we needed to stay together.

I knew I was unhappy, but knowing Tanya was so unhappy with our marriage that she didn't care if I had an affair or not, just proved that something needed to change and it had to be drastic.

Jasper, who was a friend of mine from the military, owned a successful advertising agency in Seattle and offered me a job there, but I turned him down because I had my car shop and I didn't think Tanya would want to move. However, I figured that a move to a big city might give Tanya enough excitement that she may enjoy life a little more and stop being such a negative person. We always had our issues, but before we got married, she was different; there was a spark there whereas recently, she was like the living dead, only pretending to have a life for the sake of people's judgments.

So, when Tanya took Anthony to California, I went to Seattle to see about the job offer there.

"And this, would be your office," Jasper said as he opened the door to a private room.

"Are you kidding me? You know, I'm really not qualified for this," I told him with a smile.

"You always came up with the best ideas when we were in Iraq, I'm sure you can handle yourself…oh and by the way, we not only pay for college for you if you want to get some classes in on your free time, but we'll also cover Anthony's entirely when the time comes. His tuition, books, board, everything."

"You have got to be kidding me," I said in disbelief. It wasn't a lawyer like I had wanted to be when I was younger, but it was life in the city with a high paying job, and I couldn't remember a time when I was so excited about something other than my son.

"It's all yours, all you have to do is say 'yes' and we can get the paperwork started," Jasper said to me.

"Let me talk to Tanya first, she won't be back for a couple weeks, will that be cool?" I asked him.

"Of course man, the job will be here waiting for you."

"Thanks Jazz, you have no idea what this means to me," I told him sincerely.

I decided to spend some extra time in the city to try and get to know the area a bit better. I looked at condos and toured schools for Anthony, and even looked into some boutiques for Tanya if she chose to work, even though she wouldn't have to with what I would be making. With my salary plus bonuses in addition to my ownership in the car shop, we'd be living far more than just comfortable. I had already talked to Emmett about me leaving but keeping my ownership, and he was all for it, so I knew that wouldn't be a problem. It all seemed to be falling into place perfectly, and I couldn't see how Tanya could possibly object to such an offer.

After a long morning of condo hunting, I decided to just take a stroll around the area of my hotel. It was a surprisingly sunny day, so I just couldn't handle the idea of staying inside for the rest of the day. Along the way, I saw a hotdog vender and decided to get one, even though I was pretty sure the snack would end up getting me sick later, but there was nothing better than a city hotdog.

When I got my dog, I piled on all the fixings, and then sat on a bench to eat. I was just about finished when I looked up, and noticed someone sitting across the street at a bus station, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Holy shit," I said to myself then threw what was left of the hotdog in the garbage before almost getting hit by a taxi as I ran across the bus street. "Bella?"

She looked awful. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was just some random homeless streetwalker, but I'd know Bella absolutely anywhere.

She looked up at me, and the expression on her face was unrecognizable. "Edward?" she asked confused.

"Yeah. Wow, I can't believe it's really you. You look….grown up," I said not thinking of a better compliment.

"That tends to happen," she said annoyed, and then looked down the street for her bus.

"How long have you been living here? You know, your parents have been worried sick about you."

"I'm sure," she said bitterly, and continued to look down the street.

"Hey-ya, I'm staying at the Hilton right around the corner, why don't you come over and we can catch up," I suggested.

She looked back at me as if she really wasn't sure who I was, even though she already said my name; it was clear that she was under the influence of some kind of drug. She had dark circles under her eyes and her makeup was a mess, as if it were a few days old. Her clothes were dirty and hanging off of her too small frame, and out from under her sleeves, I could see bruises all over her arms.

"I don't have time, I'm late for a meeting," she said absently.

"Ok, well my car is parked over there. Why don't you come with me and I can give you a lift," I suggested.

"No, I don't think so," she said without looking at me.

"Bella, Please. No one has seen or heard from you in years, I don't want to just let you disappear again," I practically begged. She looked at me strangely again, and just when I was sure that she was going to refuse, she sighed and reluctantly agreed.

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><p><strong>**Bella is not a hooker (I'm not into that sort of thing), but she definitely has some major issues. Bella and Edward's conversation is coming in the next chapter.<strong>

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	2. Refuge

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 2 –_ Refuge_~

EPOV

It was extremely surreal being in the same room with Bella again after so long. She was completely different than the fifteen year old girl that she was the last time I saw her, and I only wished I knew what happened when I was gone that made her into what she had become.

"So, how are you?" I asked hesitantly. It was obvious that she wasn't doing well, so I had no idea how I hoped she'd answer me.

"Alive," she said with an edge to her voice which I had never heard from her before. Bella was always the sweetest person I knew, and I absolutely hated seeing her like that. She started pacing the room looking around, and even checked out the bathroom. I wondered what she was doing, but then she explained. "I always wanted to know what the rooms in this hotel looked like," she said distantly.

"Bella, where have you been this whole time?" I asked her concerned.

"They say that Madonna stayed here once, do you think that's true?" she asked me, ignoring my question.

"Bella…are you ok? What happened to you?"

"Maybe she even stayed in this very room," Bella said excitedly, though her eyes looked lifeless. She sat on the bed and began bouncing on her bottom, as if she had never felt what a bed was like before. "Bed's not too great though. Madonna only likes pillow top mattresses."

"Are you high?" I asked her, even though I was fairly certain that she was.

She looked up at me as if she was insulted. "Fuck you, jackass. Who the hell are you to make judgments on me? You don't know me; you don't know what my life is like. You asked me to come here, and all you're going to do is stand there and call me a druggie?" she said angrily.

"Wait a minute, I didn't call you a druggie, I just asked if you were high. Bella, I just don't know what happened to you. We used to be close, I've worried about you every single day since I realized you were missing. I just don't understand how you could run away from home like that."

"No, I wouldn't expect that you would. This is stupid, I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing here," she said and then headed for the door. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach dropped when I realized that she would disappear again the moment she walked out of sight, and I couldn't allow that to happen."

Without having time to really think it through, I just reacted. I grabbed her by the wrist, and refused to let her go.

"You fucking prick!" she screamed. "Let go, or I swear, I'll have you arrested."

"Go ahead, call the police. I'm sure you're dad knows most of the cops around here; please, let's have a conversation about this."

She thought about it for a moment, and then stopped trying to pull her hand away from me. "What are you going to do, take me to my parents? Well, I assure you, they don't give a shit so you're wasting your time!"

I just shook my head and dismissed her comment. I had known the Swans since I was a kid, and I knew they loved their daughters more than anything; especially Charlie. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for them, so I refused to listen to Bella's intoxicated rant. Without letting go of her wrist, I grabbed my duffel bag and threw it over my shoulder before dragging her out of my hotel room. She tried to jerk her arm away every few feet, but other than that, she went with me easily enough. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do, but I definitely couldn't leave her there in that state.

I took her to my car and forced her in the back seat, and even put her seatbelt on for her. Before I shut the door, I put the child safety lock on so she couldn't jump out, and then I got in the driver's seat and drove out of the parking garage.

"Where are we going?" she asked after a few blocks. She was like a sulking child, she didn't try to aggressively escape, but she made her resentment perfectly clear. "This is fucking ridiculous. I'm a grown ass woman, and you have no right to take me somewhere against my will." When I refused to respond, she continued. "You're pathetic, do you know that? You really think you're some hero? You think that just because you played soldier boy for a few years, that you're some sort of god or something? Well, you're not and I don't need to be saved. FUCKING JACKASS, LET ME GO!"

I laughed at that point. "You know, I'm married to your sister; trust me, those types of words mean nothing to me, I hear them all the time."

I looked at her in my rear view mirror, and she had a strange expression on her face, but then she leaned back against the chair and crossed her arms and pouted. Suddenly her face turned pale, and she started gagging. I pulled over quickly and practically yanked her out of the car just in time for her to start throwing up. I narrowly escaped the projectile vomit, but I held her up from behind so she wouldn't collapse, and tried to keep her hair back. When I was sure there was nothing left in her stomach for her to expel out, I helped her back into the car, and continued driving.

I didn't hear her again for awhile, I kept glancing at her in the mirror, and she had her eyes closed, though I thought she was faking it at first, she didn't open them for the rest of the car trip. I didn't think it was the best idea to bring her to my house, but I couldn't think of anything better, and I knew Tanya and Anthony weren't due back for another week and a half, so that's where we went.

"What is this dump?" Bella asked groggily, making me jump slightly. I wasn't expecting her to say anything when we stopped, because she had stayed quiet for so long.

"My house," I told her, slightly annoyed. Despite my and Tanya's fucked up relationship, our home was definitely not a 'dump'. I worked hard for that house, and yes we had to have a co-signer, but it was still ours and I took pride in it.

"I'm not going in there," Bella said defiantly.

"Yes, you are," I said unfazed.

"I don't want to see that bitch of a wife of yours," Bella said angrily, and in my mind I thought –_yeah, me either – _but wondered what made her so extremely hateful.

"She's not here. She went on vacation with Anthony for two weeks," I explained.

"And you didn't go?" she questioned.

"No, it was a mom thing with her friends."

I watched curiously as Bella rolled her eyes from my explanation, but she was pretty messed up so I reminded myself not to put too much value into anything she did or said. I went around and opened her door for her, and when I did, she tried to charge past me and run for it. I grabbed her around the shoulders but as I was wrestling her to the house, I noticed one of the neighbors watching us.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Stanley. What a beautiful evening this is!" I shouted casually, and then pulled Bella into the house. I could imagine what it looked like to her; me, with my family away, kidnapping some woman and chopping her up in my basement. I'm sure that's what the biggest town gossip queen thought when she saw us, but I really didn't care at that moment. I would think Tanya would be happy that I was trying to help her sister, and not worry about what people were saying, but then again, it was Tanya and there wasn't much more important to her than public opinion.

"That old bat is going to call the police," Bella said after I shut the door behind us.

"Don't worry about it, she calls the police ten times a day and Charlie has learned to just ignore her calls," I said unconcerned.

"Now what?" Bella asked me after I brought her into the kitchen and forced her down to sit at the table.

"Do you want a drink, or something?" I asked her.

"Yeah, gin and tonic," she said quickly.

"Uh…sorry, all out of hard liquor at the moment. How about some juice?" I asked. I wasn't actually out of alcohol, but I wasn't about to give her something like that when my objective was to get her detoxed. I knew it could be dangerous to get her off of the drugs without medical supervision, but I also knew I could never get her into a hospital, and if something went wrong, an ambulance was only a phone call away.

"Juice? I'm not a fucking kid anymore. What about a beer?"

"Nope. I have juice or water, take your pick," I told her.

"Neither," she said bitterly. "You know, there's no way you can keep me here. Eventually, you'll have to sleep and then I'll be gone, and you'll never see me again."

"Don't worry, I have a solution for that," I told her, then grabbed my hammer out of the drawer.

"What are you going to do, nail the doors and windows shut?" she asked with a sarcastic giggle.

"Exactly," I said while wiggling my brows. I just happened to have some two by fours in my backyard because I was planning to fix the deck, but I decided hammering the door and largest windows shut was more important. If she really wanted to get out, I'm sure she could still find a way, but it would have to be noisy enough that I would never be able to sleep through it. I had just gone shopping before I left for Seattle, so there wasn't a reason why we'd need to leave for at least the next week or so. I knew a week wasn't enough time to get her off of drugs completely, but I wasn't sure how addicted she was and I really just wanted her sober so I could have a decent conversation with her.

After just sitting there for over an hour staring blankly at the wall, she finally got up and started looking around. "How long have you been living here?" she asked casually.

"Six years," I said, studying her ever movement. She was shaky and jittery, but she seemed to be handling it surprisingly well.

I decided to take that time to make sure all the medicines and cleaners were put away so that she couldn't try to use them for getting high, and when I came back, she was staring at a picture of me, Tanya, and Anthony.

"So, when was the last time you talked to your parents?" I asked her.

"When was the last time _you_ talked to my parents?" she asked without looking away from the picture.

"Uh…last week," I told her.

"Well, then you probably know it's been a long time since I've talked to them last."

"Yeah…Are you going to tell me what really happened to make you leave, and what you've been doing for the past decade?"

"Nope, and if that's the reason why you have me locked in here, then you're wasting your time….How do you stand to be married to Tanya anyway? I swear, I would have thrown myself off a bridge by now," she said, still fixated on the picture.

I laughed once. "Well, it hasn't always been easy," I said vaguely. I didn't have any desire to talk to her about my relationship with Tanya; all I wanted was to figure out what went so wrong in her life.

Bella finally put down the picture, then walked over to a different picture on a shelf. She cracked the tiniest smile when looking at it, but obviously tried to hide it. I wasn't sure which picture she was looking at, but then she turned it towards me. "He looks like you," she said.

"Yeah, he's my mini me….well, he's not so mini anymore," I told her with a smile. It was a picture of Anthony and me at a Mariners game the year before. We went with Emmett and had a blast, mainly because Tanya wasn't with us and nagging the whole time like usual. We were sharing nachos and the cheese was all over his face; I thought it was hysterical because I had never really seen him dirty before, so I rubbed cheese on my face too, and Em took the picture. Tanya hated that picture, and she would often try to hide it from me, but I refused to let her take it down, it was one of my favorites.

Bella's face suddenly fell in an odd way, and she quickly put down the picture then turned back towards me. "I need to leave. Seriously, I can't be here anymore."

"Fine, tell me what happened, and then I'll take you back to Seattle," I told her.

She seemed to get angry then. "Did you ever ask Tanya why I left? Did my parents have any sleepless nights over their long lost daughter? Please, no one ever gave a shit about me, and I finally got tired of it."

"Of course I asked Tanya why you left, she said you started hanging out with the wrong kids at school and got into trouble. Charlie refused to get you out of it, and made you spend the night in jail after you were caught stealing. After that, you took off and only ever wrote home a few times a year but never sent a return address. I know what _they_ all said happened, but I'm asking _you _what happened," I told her.

She laughed once humorlessly. "Tanya and her perfect fucking bubble," she muttered.

"Look, I can't let you leave like this. I just need to make sure you're clean, and then I'll let you go."

"Why? Do you really think that I won't go right back and get high again?" she said with a laugh. "Look at me, it's been hours, I'm fine. You don't even need to give me a ride, I'll walk to the bus station. Now let me the fuck go!"

When I didn't budge, she exploded. She grabbed one of Tanya's knickknacks off the end table, and then chucked it across the room, making it shatter on the living room floor. I stared at her in shock, but I still didn't move, so she pushed the chair over and then started throwing the pictures off the walls. She took a vase and threw it at the door, and then tried to break a secured window with a fireplace poker. It cracked it, but I refused to let it upset me. I wouldn't allow her to piss me off to the point where I'd throw her out, because I knew that's exactly what she was trying to do.

"Do you like your house like this?" she asked before heading into the kitchen, presumably to break stuff in there as well.

"It's just stuff, all of it can be replaced," I told her calmly as I followed her.

"LET ME OUT!" she screamed, and then pulled glasses out of the cabinet and began throwing them on the ground.

"Not going to happen. I have a week to try to break through to you, and I'm going to use it. You can tear apart and break everything in this house, as long as I get some answers."

She screamed, and then ran to me and started pounding my chest as if she was trying to get me to hit her back. She should have known that I would never hit her, or throw her off of me, but she just kept hitting. It didn't hurt because she wasn't hitting me hard, I was more concerned that she'd end up hurting herself, so I wrapped my arms around her upper body to try to restrain her.

"UGH!" she cried out, and then stopped fighting. "Why do you give a shit?" she asked frustrated, and then sunk to the ground, so I let her down gently.

I kneeled down to be closer to her face, then looked her dead in the eye."Have you seriously forgotten what we used to mean to each other?" I asked her incredulously. "You know you were my best friend….I wouldn't even be alive today if it weren't for you."

She looked away from me and sighed. "That was a long time ago," she said quietly.

"Yeah, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what the hell changed."

"I can. You started fucking my sister," she stated coldly, and then stood and walked back into the living room.

"Oh, come on Bella, we were still close after I started dating Tanya. Be honest with me, just once," I said while following her.

After stepping over the mess she had made, she rubbed her face with her hands and then she plopped down on the couch. "I can't even remember that far back, I'm too fucking out of it," she mumbled, kicked off her shoes, and then laid down on the couch before closing her eyes again.

"Fine, I guess we can talk later," I said softly, and then sat on the chair next to her and tried to get some sleep. I was fucking exhausted after that, and I was fairly certain the next day would be more of the same.

…

**18 years earlier. EPOV**

_When I was nine, I thought my life was perfect, but when I was ten, I knew better. My parents never fought, at least I thought they didn't until one day, they sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce. I was scared and confused, and upset at the entire world. I didn't understand what happened to my perfect family, but then my father moved to Seattle and that's when I feel in love with the city. Everything was faster there, exciting, and I could forget my life whenever I was there visiting him. _

_Being with my mom was different. She started dating a man named Aro, which I thought was odd. _

"_What kind of name is Aro?" I asked him curiously._

"_Edward!" my mom scolded me._

"_What?" I asked confused._

"_It's the kind of name that people don't mess with," Aro said nicely._

_He seemed to be a nice enough guy, but I missed my dad and hated the idea of my mother being with anyone else. I would do the most annoying things to Aro, just to get a rise out of him, but he never yelled or even got angry. Things were happening way too fast, and I was worried that my mother and I were going to get stuck with the guy forever, so I tried to do something drastic, I broke his favorite hunting gun. I knew it was important to him, so I thought he'd get pissed enough to leave, but he didn't, he just got mean. _

_I could hear them screaming in the middle of the night, so I got up and snuck down the stairs so I could hear what they were saying better. _

"_You'll never leave me, you fucking bitch. I own you, and unlike your idiot of an ex husband, I'll make sure you're dead before I let you go," he threatened her._

_I was ten, and didn't understand exactly what was happening, but I knew he was being mean to my mom, and I wasn't going to allow it. I ran down the stairs and started kicking him, but he threw me hard against the wall and then hit me even harder. He pulled off his belt and then was just about to strike me with it, but my mother jumped on his back and started smacking him. He tossed her off of him and struck me with his belt three times before my mother was back on him._

"_Run Edward!" she screamed to me, but I didn't want to leave her. When I didn't move, she screamed at me again, so I reluctantly took off…but he was faster. _

_He caught me by the collar of my pajama shirt, and lifted me up off the ground. "Now you listen to me you little shit, you are going to run away, and never come back. Do you hear me?"_

_Terrified, I nodded._

"_If anyone ever finds you, I'll kill your momma." He spit in my face then threw me to the ground. I was so scared that I didn't know what to do, but I was even more worried about my mom, so I took off running. I didn't know where to go, but I just knew I had to disappear otherwise my mom would be hurt even more. But it was dark and winter, and my thin pajamas weren't enough to protect me from the ice and snow. I was wearing my slippers, but my feet were still frozen and I knew I couldn't go very far._

_I somehow managed to keep moving forward for what seemed like a long time, until I just couldn't go any further. I didn't know where I was, but I also didn't know how close I still was to home. I hadn't walked more than several blocks, but to me, it was miles and miles. The houses in that area were further apart, so when I saw a tree house in one of their yards, I was sure it was isolated enough that no one would find me, at least not until I was rested enough to walk further away. _

_The wood plank walls did little to help me escape the cold, but at least my feet were out of the snow. I huddled in a ball and just cried silently out of fear for my mother. I must have cried myself to sleep, when suddenly there was a noise that woke me up. I sat there terrified as the distinct sound of shoes crunching the snow, came closer until I was sure that whoever it was, was climbing up the ladder to the tree house. _

_I didn't know what to do, and there was nowhere to hide, so I just closed my eyes and wished I was invisible. _

"_Who are you?" a little voice asked. I looked up hesitantly to see the face of an angel…or at least I thought it was an angel at the time. She had a flashlight, so her face was glowing, making her look even more like she was sent from heaven._

"_Who are you?" I asked her._

"_Bella, what's your name?" she asked, but I refused to answer. It was a small town, but I couldn't remember ever seeing her before, which made me think I was far away from home even more. She must have figured out that I wasn't going to say anymore, so she sat next to me and put her hand on mine. "Wow, you're as cold as ice," she said with a frown. "Are you a vampire?"_

"_What?" I asked confused._

"_Vampires are cold as ice, and so are you. So are you a vampire?" she asked with her frown suddenly turning into a grin._

"_Shouldn't you be afraid if I'm a vampire?" I asked her._

"_No, I like them, as long as you don't bite me…or maybe you should bite me and we can both be vampires and live forever."_

_I smiled despite my situation, and then shook my head. "I'm not a vampire, just…cold." She looked disappointed for a moment, but then took off her small pink coat and draped it over me. "Now, you'll get cold," I told her concerned. She was obviously younger than me, so I felt bad for taking her coat._

_She shrugged. "Why are you in my tree house?" _

"_Just 'cause. But you can't tell anyone, ok?" I said quickly. "Why are you out here at the night?"_

"_I wanted to make sure the squirrel was ok," she said and then looked in the hole of the branch holding the tree house wall. She pulled out some nuts from her pocket, and then dumped them in the hole._

"_Do your parents know you're out here?" I asked her suspiciously._

"_Nope, do yours?" she asked me._

"_No, and you better not tell anyone either," I said as I started shaking even more._

"_You're still cold. Are you going to go home, or are you going to stay in here all night?" she asked me._

"_Here," I told her._

_She narrowed her eyes at me, but then she smiled. "Ok, I'll go sneak back inside and get you a blanket," she said but before I could protest, she hurried down the ladder. In less than five minutes, she was back at the bottom of the tree, and tried to hand me the blanket. I reached down for it, but it was too far, so I went down a few steps and took it from her. I was surprised to see that she had a pillow for me too, and even a bag of chips and a juice box. _

"_Thanks," I said when she climbed back up. I gave her back her jacket then huddled under the blanket, and opened the bag of chips. "Do you want some?"_

"_No, I'm not allowed to eat those," she said while scrunching her nose in the cutest way._

"_Why do you have them then?" I asked her._

"_My dad likes them. He's a cop, and my mommy says that all cops seem to live on junk food."_

"_Your dad's a cop?" I asked worriedly._

"_Yep, the best one there is. So where'd you come from anyway?" she asked, then absently grabbed a chip from me and popped it in her mouth._

"_Uh…over there," I said and pointed in the general direction of my house. "I thought you didn't like chips?"_

"_I don't," she said confused, then grabbed another one. I shook my head, and tried to ignore her strange behavior. _

"_How old are you?" I asked her curiously._

"_Seven," she said proudly. "Just had my birthday last week."_

"_Well, I'm ten, so that means I'm in charge and you need go back to your bed."_

"_No way, now, we're camping?" she said with a grin. She got under the blanket with me, and then rested her head on half of the pillow before pulling at my shirt so I would lay next to her. We just stared at each other for a while, until I closed my eyes for a second and the next thing I knew, I was alone and the daylight was seeping in through the cracks of the wood planked walls. _

_I didn't know what time it was, or where Bella had gone, but I did see that she somehow managed to bring me a muffin and another juice box. That had been one of the coldest nights of the year, and I was fairly certain I would have frozen to death if she didn't bring the blanket and slept next to me. Even though I knew she was just a girl, I was still pretty sure she was my angel too._

_I stayed in the tree house all day, and just watched quietly through the cracks as people came and went down the street. I worried about my mother, but I was sure I was keeping her safer by staying away. That afternoon, Bella came clunking up the ladder and brought me a sandwich, and then left again without saying a word. Like clockwork, she was back around dinner time and brought me some meatloaf and another juice box. When it got late and was even colder, she brought up another blanket, and again, laid next to me all night. _

_It went on for four days exactly the same, except when she had to go to school, she would bring me a sandwich in a baggie in the morning with my muffin. The only time I left the tree house, was when I had to pee and poop, which I did in the bushes…of course I warned Bella not to play over in that area._

_By the fifth day, there was definitely something different. Bella didn't come back that afternoon, and I started to worry that something happened to her. I knew I would have died without her, so I was forever grateful, but even more than that, we had become extremely close those few days and I missed her like crazy, even if it had only been a few extra hours since the time she would have normally shown up._

_Another hour passed, and my concern for her grew too much to handle, so I decided to go and look for her, but I didn't have to. As soon as I looked out the window of the tree house, I could see Bella leading a police officer by the hand, out into the backyard to where I was. The man looked at me, and I got scared and hurried back inside, but it was too late, I was caught. I was angry that Bella had ratted me out, but mostly I was just scared. _

"_Edward!" the man yelled out to me, which I thought was odd because I never told Bella my name. I could hear him climbing up the ladder, so I crunched myself in the farthest corner of the room. "Edward Masen?" the police man said softly. "I'm Charlie Swan, Bella's dad. Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?"_

_I looked up at him then, and reluctantly nodded. _

"_So, there are a lot of people really worried about you," Mr. Swan told me, so I buried my head in my knees, hiding my face again. "Your mom told us what happened, and her and your dad have been scared to death for you. There's nothing you have to be scared about anymore, we arrested Aro, and he's not going to get out for a long time. That man will never hurt you or your mother again," Mr. Swan assured me. _

_I couldn't take it anymore, so I just broke down and started crying. Mr. Swan hesitantly put his arms around me to comfort me, and then he pulled out his walkie talkie. "Yeah, I got him, he's here."_

_I later found out that right after I ran away, my mother banged a pot over Aro's head and then called the police. They had been searching for me since the first night but it wasn't until Bella overheard her dad talking about a missing boy, that she finally spoke up. _

_My parents reconciled after that, and got remarried. I remained close with the Swans, and I would spend all my free time hanging out there just to spend time with my angel Bella. She was my absolute best friend, and I loathed her older sister Tanya. It wasn't until I got into the Jr. High, that things changed. My friends made fun of me for hanging out with a girl who was three years younger than me all the time…and I finally noticed that girls my own age were beginning to develop breasts. _

_I somehow managed to become popular at school, and unexpectedly, so did Tanya. We never meant to start hanging out with the same kids, it just started happening, and when I'd be at their house, I found myself flirting with Tanya more than hanging out with Bella. I convinced myself that Bella was nothing more than a little sister to me, and then the vicious cycle of Tanya began._

…_.._

**Present Day**

Over the next few days, Bella didn't say much and mostly slept. She used the bathroom a lot, but besides that, didn't really leave the couch. She never seemed to go through withdrawals like I was expecting, but her eyes did look clearer, and she wasn't as jittery.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her finally. I tried to give her space without really leaving the room, but time was running out and we needed to have that conversation before Tanya got back with Anthony.

"Perfect," she said mockingly.

"You're not really a drug addict, are you?" I asked knowing she'd be a lot more messed up if she was.

"I dabble, but definitely not an 'addict'. I told you I was fine, so can I leave now?" she asked sweetly, but I knew it was just a front so I'd let her go.

"Sure…as soon as you tell me what the hell happened. I need to hear it from you."

She huffed, and then got up and looked around again. "Are you still in love with Tanya?" she asked, taking me by surprise.

"Uh…" I said, unsure how to answer that question.

"Is it really that hard to be honest with yourself? You want me to tell you the truth, then you tell me the truth first. Do you love her?" she asked me.

I sighed. "She's my son's mother."

She rolled her eyes again. "You didn't answer my question."

"It doesn't matter how I feel," I said honestly. "The most important thing to me is that my son has a stable life."

"No. You're just scared that if you left Tanya, that she'd end up with a mother fucker like that bastard that hurt you and your mom. You are just scared of putting Anthony in that situation, so you stay in a fucked up relationship," she said, truer than she even realized. Even after so many years away, she still knew me better than I knew myself.

"Are you a psychologist now?" I asked slightly bitter. Even though she was absolutely right, I refused to admit it. "You don't know me, or your sister anymore. So don't make any assumptions," I told her, hoping she'd back off the subject.

"Right. You hated her in high school, so now you expect me to believe that you've had eight years of glorious marriage bliss?" she said knowingly.

"This isn't about me or Tanya, this is about you," I told her.

She scrunched her face up. "It's always about Tanya, haven't you learned that by now?" she said quietly, and then walked around me so she could look out the small window on the side of the door.

"What did she do to make you runaway?" I asked, realizing that Tanya being at fault was the most obvious.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Bella said quietly, and then took a deep breath. "I was mad that she was going to have your baby, so I started acting out. Ok?" she said abruptly, placating me. "I always thought you would get sick of her eventually, and remember that you actually loved me."

"I never stopped loving you Bella," I told her strongly. "It just became…different."

"Right, you mean Tanya was just more beautiful and had a better body, right?" she said, taking me aback. I knew she never liked the idea of Tanya and me dating, but I had no idea that she had _those_ types of feelings for me.

"Bella…I…" I said, not knowing how to respond. "You were just a kid," I said finally.

"Whatever," she said under her breath. "Look, despite what you think, I do have somewhere to be, so can I leave."

I shook my head absently.

"Why? Edward, I'll even pinky swear you that I'll stay clean if you want."

"Pinky swear?" I asked with a smile. That was what I always made her do when we were younger, but I had forgotten all about it.

"I have a job, and they're going to think that I totally spazed if I don't get back soon."

"A job doing what?" I asked worriedly.

"I work at a bar, what's it to you?" she said defensively.

"Which bar?" I quizzed her.

"Fuck you! What are you, my dad?" she asked angrily.

"No, but we can call him if you want," I said then grabbed the phone and handed it to her.

"Go to hell!" she said, then turned her back to me.

"Which bar?" I asked her again.

She rolled her eyes. "Ben's, on Ninth."

"You work at Ben's Bar?" I asked surprised. I had never been there personally, but I heard Jasper speak of it. He said it wasn't the nicest place, but it was always packed.

"Yep."

"Fine," I said and then picked the phone back up again.

"What are you doing?" she asked worriedly.

"Calling information to get the number there," I told her.

"Oh. My. God. This is ridiculous," she said perturbed.

"Yes, Seattle Washington, Ben's Bar on Ninth," I said to the answering service, and then they connected me. "Yeah, I'm calling in for Bella Swan, she's an employee there?"

"She hasn't been in for a few days, so I'm not really sure what happened to her," the man said.

"Oh…well, that's why I'm calling. She's been sick and couldn't make it, so I just wanted to make sure she still had a job when she got back," I told him.

"Yeah alright. Just tell her to call in next time," the man said and then hung up.

I hung up as well, and then looked at Bella apologetically. "Sorry," I mumbled. "Why were you so messed up looking then when I saw you on the street?" I asked confused.

"What? I was out the entire night before, partying. What's the big fucking problem with that? Yeah, I was hung over and I got high to deal, so? I'm not like you, I don't have a kid to be responsible for; all I have to worry about is myself. I drink and get stoned, but so does a lot of other people, so why don't you GO SAVE SOMEONE ELSE!" she yelled at the end. "I'm twenty five fucking years old; I don't need anyone telling me what to do."

"Fine…you can leave," I said slowly and regretted it the moment the words were out of my mouth. There hadn't been a single day that had gone by, when I didn't think about Bella. She was a constant in my mind, even when I was in the military overseas. I never understood why the Swans stopped looking for her after she ran away, but I couldn't do anything about it. I had already missed so much time with my son, that I couldn't be gone any more to look for her myself, so I gave up. Looking back, I wished that I hadn't, but I had to set my priorities, and my son always came first and foremost.

I hesitantly tore down the wood on the doors, and then stood in front of Bella. She needed to know something before she disappeared again. "You know, I never really understood why Tanya and I kept getting back together back then, but I realize now that it was because of you."

"Me?" she said incredulously.

"Yeah. I knew that if Tanya and I were to break up completely, she'd make it impossible for me to go back over your house, and I wouldn't get to see you anymore. You were always my best friend Bella, and I'm sorry I ever let anything, or _anyone_, come between that. I'll _always_ care about you, just remember that." I stepped aside and cleared the way so Bella could walk out.

I put my head down, because I really didn't want to watch her leave, but when she didn't move, I looked up and realized that we were both in a whole heap of trouble…..

* * *

><p><strong>***I know there are still a lot of holes in the story, and there's supposed to be. It'll all become clear as the story unfolds…hopefully. Lol. <strong>

**Don't you feel bad for Edward? Childhood trauma, parents dying right before he graduated high school, serving in Iraq, then a loveless marriage; I feel sorry for him and I'm the one who wrote it. But, I always have to torture him in my stories, it's just too much fun ;)**

**Bella, has a lot more issues than she told Edward about, and only time will tell if she gets over them or not.**

**What do you think so far? Please Review.**


	3. Long Shot

**She Will Be Loved **

A/N: Ok, don't count on these being daily updates again. Summer is almost over and I won't always find the time to complete chapters so quickly, but I'll do the best I can.

* * *

><p>~Chapter 3 –<em>Long Shot<em>~  
>EPOV<p>

I put my head down, because I really didn't want to watch her leave, but when she didn't move, I looked up and realized that we were both in a whole heap of trouble…..

"What the hell is going on?" Tanya seethed as she stood in the doorway, glaring at Bella full of anger.

I glanced between them, and could see mutual hate clearly pouring off of both sisters. Behind Tanya, Anthony was just getting his suitcase out of the car, and was distractedly trying to pull it towards the house. I wanted to go around the confrontation and greet my son, and help him with his bags, but there was an impasse between Tanya and Bella, and if I left even for a second, I was sure it would end with bloodshed.

"You haven't seen your sister in like ten years, and the first thing you have to say is 'what the hell is going on'?" I asked Tanya incredulously.

"I'm not talking to you!" Tanya yelled at me, and then turned back to Bella. "So what, you think you can just come to my home after you completely ripped apart our family?" Tanya fumed.

I was shocked by Bella's reaction to Tanya's words; she just stood there like a statue, and took it. Bella didn't scream back or even throw punches like she had done with me, she didn't react at all. Bella had spent the past few days fighting me to escape, but with the door open and Tanya bitching at her, she didn't move.

Anthony made it up to the door, and walked around his mother to get inside. Tanya stopped bitching at Bella long enough to bitch at Anthony. "Go right up to take a shower," she instructed him. "Don't even think about touching anything on your way up. I don't want your filthy germy hands on anything. Do you hear me?"

"Yes mom," he said quietly, then looked up at me and smiled. "Hi dad."

"Hey buddy," I said and reached for a hug, but Tanya pushed him past me.

"You can say hello after he's clean," she said heartlessly. _God, I hated that woman._

"I haven't seen him in a week and a half!" I yelled at Tanya when Anthony was out of sight. "You could have at least given him a moment to breathe before laying in on him."

"And what the hell do you know about it? We were at the airport which is like breeding grounds for germs, and I don't want that shit all over my house…." Tanya went on and continued bitching about anything and everything, but my attention was back on Bella as I noticed her almost cowering into the frame of the door, as if she was trying to disappear into the wall or something. My chest actually ached from seeing Bella so completely broken like that, and I knew I needed to make Tanya shut up.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled at her. "Seriously Tanya, shut the fuck up for two seconds. Bella is here; don't you have anything to say to your little sister at all?" I asked, desperate for Tanya to show even the smallest amount of compassion.

Tanya took a deep breath, and then spoke calmly. "As a matter of fact, I do. You need to get out of my house, before I call dad and have him arrest you for trespassing. How dare you come here?"

"Trespassing? I brought her here. You're psychotic, do you realize that?" I asked her completely flabbergasted.

"Me? She ruined my family…." Tanya continued on again, so I shook my head at her ridiculousness. Then, without warning, Bella abruptly ran out of the house and down the street.

"You're a real fucking bitch," I told Tanya. "I hope you're proud of yourself." I shoved past her, and then ran after Bella, hoping to catch her and at least make sure she was ok after the cruel impromptu meeting with her sister. Tanya wasn't due back home for two more days, so I never expected them to run into each other like that, but I still needed to apologize to Bella. The last thing I wanted was for her to think that I set her up and actually meant for that to happen.

I caught up to her down the block, but she was walking at a brisk pace by then, and refused to stop and listen to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to be back today, I swear," I told her as I followed at her speed.

"Just leave me alone Masen," she said coldly, but refused to look at me.

"Fine, but let me go back and get my car so I can drive you home," I told her hoping she'd stop.

"It is a three hour drive each way. Your son just got home, you don't need to spend another six hours away from him," she said without pausing.

"I brought you here against your will and it's my responsibility to bring you back," I told her, refusing to back down.

"I'll be fine. It's not like I never got there on my own before."

"At least let me take you to the bus station and buy your ticket. This is my fault, you shouldn't have to pay for it," I asked her.

"Fine," she said and finally stopped.

"You're going to wait here until I get my car?" I asked surprised.

"Yep, but hurry up before I change my mind," she said, and then sat on the curb of the street. I ran back to the house, and then grabbed my keys and snuck back out before Tanya could see me. As I was pulling out of the driveway, Tanya stormed out and started screeching at me, but I ignored her and revved the engine to further drown her out. When I drove back to where I left Bella, I realized how stupid I was for actually believing she'd still be there. She was nowhere in sight, so I drove around for awhile and tried to find her. I checked the bus station, but she wasn't there either.

"FUCK!" I yelled to myself and punched the steering wheel. My hatred for Tanya reached an all time high at that moment, and I knew if I didn't figure out a way to calm myself before going back home, I'd snap.

I stopped by the car shop and decided to talk to Emmett. I always knew I could unload all my Tanya drama on him, and he'd always let me vent. Of course he hated the woman almost as much as I did, but he always kept his cool because he knew that's what I needed from him.

"Damn," Emmett said after I told him everything that had happened over the past week. "I just don't get it, the Swans used to be one of the closest families in town. I mean, Bella and Tanya always had their issues, but I can't believe Charlie would just give up on Bella like that. What the hell happened to them?" he mused.

"I was hoping you could shed some light on that," I said hopelessly. "I was overseas when all that shit went down. This is a small town and people talk, what did everyone say when Bella ran away?"

He shrugged. "It was scandalous enough that Tanya was pregnant with your kid and you were gone. She would walk around town with her big belly and yell at people all the time. '_I'm pregnant you ass hole, don't make me wait'_," Emmett said in his best Tanya voice. "I was working at the diner remember, she was a mega bitch whenever she went in there."

"Emmett, when has Tanya not been a 'mega bitch'?" I asked forgetting about my stupid rule about sticking up for her when other people called her names.

"True. But, everyone was so busy gossiping about that, that Bella kind of got lost in the shuffle. Maybe that's what happened, maybe she just felt like no one cared about her anymore. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I saw Bella. Come to think of it, it was probably before I even found out Tanya was pregnant. I mean, Bella always had a thing for you, maybe Tanya just rubbed her pregnancy in her face one too many times."

"Why do you think Bella had a 'thing' for me?" I asked feeling even stupider for never realizing it sooner.

"Oh, come on. She always looked at you like the sun rose out of your ass."

"What? No, she was like a little sister to me," I said, still in denial despite the fact that Bella had already admitted it herself.

"Maybe to you, but she never looked at you that way," Emmett said quietly.

"God, I was such an idiot!" I yelled frustrated. "I can't believe I never noticed it before."

"Oh come on, you can't beat yourself up about it, she was just a kid. What would you have done if you did realize that she had a crush on you anyway?"

I shook my head. "I don't know…maybe not date her sister knowing it was hurting her. I didn't know my dysfunctional relationship with Tanya was hurting anyone else but me."

"Yeah, and then you wouldn't have Anthony," Emmett said, knocking some sense into me, and yet confusing me even more. It just seemed wrong that my son's existence depended on my vile relationship with Tanya. If there was some way to get Tanya out of his life without hurting him, I would in a second.

"So, you taking the job in Seattle?" Emmett asked me, bringing me back to my reality.

"Hopefully. I haven't had time to talk to Tanya yet, but…I think so."

"Well, if you're waiting for Tanya to be supportive, then you'll wait forever. Man, she's not going to be cool, and I know you know that. I just want you to prepare yourself."

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Em? I can't leave Anthony with Tanya, but I really don't know how much longer I can take it. I can live my life for Anthony, but…I'm just scared of losing it. I swear, I have never wanted to hit a woman more than I did today, you should have heard the way she was talking to her sister, it was…" I let my sentence trail off, ashamed of myself for even voicing the fact that I wanted to knock Tanya's lights out.

"Are you sure staying with Tanya is really what's best? I mean, I understand that people try to stay together because they think it's easier for the kids, but really, I'd think Anthony would be grateful for the break when he was with you."

"I can't stand the thought of not being able to see him every day," I told him quietly.

"Well, maybe Tanya would let him live with you. I mean, it would make her life easier."

"Yeah, but it's what I really want, so there's no way she'd let it happen. She needs people to think that she's this perfect mother, and if she let him live with me, then what the hell will people think? It won't happen, and I don't want to drag Anthony into a nasty custody thing…hell, if I asked for a divorce, Tanya would probably sue me for full custody just to get back at me. She knows he's the only reason why I'm still here, and she'd have no problem using him to get to me."

Emmett sighed. "I'm sorry you're in this situation bro, that's horrible."

"I should be getting back. I haven't even talked to Anthony yet," I said and then we bumped fists, and I headed home. I drove around a few more times, hoping to find Bella, but ended up going home when there was no sign of her.

When I walked back into the house, Tanya was bent over picking up the broken picture frames on the floor. I meant to clean everything up, but I thought I still had two more days.

"I can't believe she came here, and destroyed all our beautiful things. That's what she does, Edward, that's why I was upset when I saw her here. How the hell did she get here anyway?" she asked while cleaning.

"Look, you don't have to clean up, I'll do it," I said, ignoring her rant.

"Good," Tanya said, and then got up and headed up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I asked worried she was heading into Anthony's room to yell at him about something.

"To shower and then wash the sheets. There is no way in hell I'm going to sleep in that bed knowing you were fucking my sister in it."

"What? Do you even hear yourself?" I asked angrily. "I didn't find Bella after almost a decade of her being missing, to bring her here and sleep with her in our bedroom. I mean, really Tanya. Why don't you do something useful, and call your parents. They should know that Bella is at least alive."

"No. Bella writes home enough, they know she's fine. If she's too selfish to pick up a phone and call, then they don't need to know that she was here."

I got pissed and threw down the broken frame I was holding, and then stormed up the stairs. I needed to see my son and remember the reasons why I didn't just throw his mother into a ditch. I didn't want to call the Swans when Bella was there, because I thought it would have been too much to have them charge in on her, but I fully planned on letting them know afterwards, which I would still do despite Tanya's opinion.

I went into Anthony's room, and tapped on the door to get his attention because he was wearing his headphones.

He looked up at me and then smiled, so I walked over to give him a hug. "I missed you," I said after pulling down the headset off his ears.

"I missed you too dad," he said sadly.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said quietly.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

He nodded, and then bit his lip nervously. "Mom said she wants to go on the same trip every year, and I just really didn't like it."

"You were bored, weren't you?" I assumed.

"Mom just doesn't ever listen to me," he said carefully, and then looked towards the doorway worried that Tanya would walk in. I got up and shut the door so he'd relax, and then he told me about his miserable week. He basically had to sit there the entire time and entertain the littler kids, while the moms sunbathed and drank cocktails. "They even made me take one of the other kids to the bathroom," he said frustrated.

"I'm sorry Anthony, I swear, you won't have to go again. I'll tell your mom no next time, ok?"

He nodded again, and then we said goodnight and I went back downstairs. I wanted to yell at Tanya for what Anthony told me, but I knew she'd just end up taking it out on him, so I decided to put it off for awhile. But I did need to talk to her about Seattle, regardless of what Jasper said, I knew he needed to fill the position so I needed to figure out if I'd take the job or not.

"The job is an incredible opportunity for our whole family," I said after explaining everything else. Tanya surprised me by staying quiet while I talked, but I needed an answer.

"Well, the money is good….I guess if you want to commute, then I don't have a problem with it," she said.

"Commute three hours each way every day?" I asked getting pissed. "I'd spend more time driving then I would with Anthony."

"Well, that's your choice."

"Damn it Tanya. Why can't you see that this is what's best for us. We can put Anthony into one of the best schools in the State, give him a chance to start over and make some real friends," I tried reasoning with her.

"What about _my_ friends? All I do is sacrifice for you and him, what about me?" she asked bitterly.

I was about to start yelling again, but then I came up with an idea. "What if I send you to Italy for a few months?" I asked her. She had always wanted to go to Italy but we could never afford it, with my new job however, I could send her and a friend to go. It was a win-win situation, she'd get her extended vacation, and I'd get Anthony alone in Seattle for a few months.

"What's the catch?" she asked suspiciously.

"I take the job in Seattle, and Anthony moves schools there. We can keep this house and come back on the weekends, or whatever, and live in a condo there during the week," I told her and then waited anxiously for her to think about it.

"Fine. But if I hate the city, then you resign and we move back here," she demanded.

"Fine," I agreed knowing she'd get far too used to the extra money and would never want to give it up.

"Good. Well, I'm going to go call Irina and tell her to pack for Italy," she said excitedly then came over to me and actually kissed me on the cheek. It was rather disturbing.

For the rest of the week, Tanya was surprisingly pleasant. She was sweet to Anthony and even made dinner every night. I was starting to wonder what her deal was, but then I realized that she was just happy to be going on vacation. As much as I was sure that Tanya brought on most of her misery herself, it was clear that she wasn't happy in our lives either, and her renewed spark was proof.

Anthony was thrilled to be making a major change, so he eagerly packed up his room the first day we told him. By the next week, we were moving into our condo in the city, and again, I was surprised by Tanya's positive attitude about the whole thing.

"Wow, this is really nice," she said as she looked around the condo I picked out for us.

"You really like it?" I asked pleased.

"Yeah, it's in a great location too."

"Well, I wanted it to be close to Anthony's school," I explained, and she nodded in agreement.

That night, we ordered in Chinese delivery and actually enjoyed dinner together. The whole thing was bizarre and I'd be lying if I didn't think Tanya had an ulterior motive for being so nice. After Anthony went to bed, I started doing the dishes, but actually got startled by Tanya when she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind in an affectionate way.

"What are you doing?" I asked her suspiciously.

"Can't I hold my husband?" she asked innocently.

"Not usually," I responded getting more and more uncomfortable by her close proximity. I even worried for a moment that she was going to stab me in the back, _literally_. I really hoped the knife block hadn't been unpacked yet.

"Oh, come on," she said and then kissed me lightly on the neck. "We used to be good together, didn't we?"

"No," I answered quickly. "We, were never good together, so what the hell are you doing?"

"I want you to fuck me before I leave tomorrow," she said, shocking the hell out of me. She didn't wait for an answer, she just planted her mouth to mine and began unbuttoning my pants.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tempting. Even though Tanya was a bitch, she was still definitely a beautiful woman and the fact that I hadn't been touched like that in a long time, made resisting very difficult.

"Stop!" I yelled at her finally. After a moment of weakness, I remembered every single reason why I hated her, and the fact that she was all over me like that, actually made me want to vomit. I'd rather be celibate for the rest of my life, then ever fuck her again. "What the hell are you playing?" I asked her while prying her hands off of me and shoving them away.

"Edward, I love you," she said sweetly, but I knew better.

"Bullshit! What the fuck do you really want?" I asked her.

"I want our marriage. I want to come home from Italy and start over. I know I have been difficult to live with lately…"

"Lately?" I challenged her.

"Ok, maybe it's been longer than 'lately', but I want a new beginning. Isn't our family worth a second chance?"

"Did your latest boyfriend dump you or something?" I asked confused.

"No…and all that's behind me now. No more going outside our marriage, I want it to be just you and me again, the way it was always supposed to be."

And there it was, vomit in my mouth. I forced myself to swallow it back down, and then I walked away from her, but of course she followed.

"Edward, say something," she practically pleaded desperately. I had to be careful, because if I didn't know any better, I'd actually think she was serious.

"What do you want me to say? We've been married for nine years, and you have never wanted this before."

"Are you seeing anyone else?" she asked abruptly.

"No," I replied.

"Well, I'm not _anymore_ either. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but we need to at least try to give Anthony a real family."

As much as I hated it, she was right. I wasn't willing to get a divorce, and I definitely wasn't sleeping around, so if she was serious about changing her ways, maybe it was something we needed to try.

"Let me think about it, ok. Just go to Italy tomorrow, and we'll talk when you get back." Even as I said the words, my stomach churned from the thought. I hated Tanya and wished nothing more than to find a way to remove her from my and Anthony's life, but if that wasn't going to ever happen, then I'd do anything to make my daily life less of a battle.

"Ok, and I'll prove to you that it can be better," she said, then kissed my cheek again, and went to bed.

"What the fuck?" I said to myself when I was alone.

The next day, Anthony and I went to take Tanya to the airport, and the moment she was out of sight, Anthony actually visibly relaxed.

"So, what now? Fast food, ice cream, rolling around in the dirt?" I asked him with a grin.

"Really?" he asked untrustingly.

"Yeah, she's not going to be back for two whole months, we might as well have a little fun."

"I don't know dad, what if she figures it out somehow?"

"You let me worry about that," I told him. "All I want you to think about, is making some friends…and even getting into some trouble. Now how many dads do you know tell their kid that?"

He laughed. "None, I guess."

"And tomorrow, we're signing you up for hockey."

"Really?" he practically yelled.

"Yep."

"Awesome," he said with the biggest grin I ever saw on his face before.

Even after being freed from Tanya's grasp for awhile, Anthony still seemed to have a hard time adjusting and letting loose. I suppose it would take some time for him to find out who he really was without his paranoid mother hounding him, but as the weeks past, I was starting to worry that Tanya would be back before Anthony had a chance to stretch his wings. I wanted to believe Tanya when she said things would be different, but I just couldn't imagine it.

"Come on, get dressed," I told him one sunny Saturday afternoon. He had spent the entire morning playing video games in his room, and I wanted him to get out into the fresh air. We didn't get very many beautiful days, so I wanted to take full advantage.

"Where are we going?" he asked me.

"Out for some exercise," I told him, then grabbed his game away from him and tossed it on his bed.

"I exercise enough at hockey practice," he said and then went back for his game controller. Anthony had been doing well with hockey, he absolutely loved the sport and he was a good skater, but he still wasn't really making any friends.

I grabbed the game back from him, and then threatened to toss it out the window.

"Ok, ok, where do you want to go?" he asked quickly to save his game.

"How about to the park," I said and grabbed the basketball off his nightstand. He rolled his eyes at me, and it reminded me of the way Bella kept doing it when I had her in Forks. I continued to worry about Bella since she left again, and I always kept an eye out for her, hoping to see her as I drove around the city, but I never did. I hated the way everything went down, but I had no idea where to find her either.

Anthony and I went down to the park and were lucky to find a basketball hoop not being used.

"Come on, try to beat your old man," I tried to provoke him, but he still wasn't very enthusiastic. After a few minutes, his boredom was overwhelming, so I gave him a couple bucks and told him to go buy us some ice creams. The ice cream vender was on the other side of the park, but I could still clearly see it, so I knew he would be safe to go alone. I would have gone with him, but I was worried about losing our hoop, so I stayed put and waited for him to return.

Even though I could see him, it was far enough away that I couldn't make out his face very well, but after a few minutes, it was obvious that he was talking to someone.

"Shit," I said to myself, and stood up. Anthony knew better than to talk to strangers, but I also didn't want to freak out about it; I refused to be overbearing like the way Tanya was. I watched intensely as I saw him grab the person and then pull them by the arm. From that distance, I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman, but either way, I didn't like them touching like that.

I was about to go run after them, but then I saw him pulling whoever it was towards me, so I tried to calm down a bit. When they got closer, I could see that it was a woman wearing a t shirt, jeans, and her hair pulled back and topped with a ball cap, and as they got even closer, I could see that it was Bella.

I locked eyes with her and just stared, because it was so unbelievable that she was even there, and that Anthony actually knew who she was. They weren't introduced when she was at the house, and as far as I knew, he had never met before either.

"Dad, isn't this Aunt Bella?" Anthony asked when they finally reached me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her stupidly.

"I live here…well not here in the park, but you know what I mean," she said emotionlessly.

"I was really worried about you after you left," I said in a daze. I just couldn't believe she was really there. There was so much that I wanted to say to her, but none of it was suitable for Anthony's ears, so I held my tongue.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked hesitantly.

"We live here now too…not here in the park, but you know what I mean," I said with a smile, knowing I was being annoying for copying her.

"Does Tanya know?" she asked strangely.

"Yeah, but she's on vacation," I told her.

"Dad, she wouldn't admit that she was Bella, but she is, right?" Anthony asked me.

"And how do you know that?" I asked him.

"I saw her picture at grandpa's house. I asked him, and he got sad and then said it was my aunt Bella."

"I should actually be going," Bella said suddenly, but it was odd, like she didn't really _want_ to leave.

"Oh, do you have a nail appointment, or something?" Anthony asked sadly. I wanted to tell him that not all women would rather get their nails done then hang out with him, but then I thought better of it. Anthony could see for himself that his mother didn't like spending real time with him, and I really didn't need to add to it. No child should have to feel that way from their mother.

"No…I don't have an appointment," Bella said softly. "Uh…" she said then looked up at me for help.

"Bella just doesn't want to stay because she knows she'd never be able to win at Horse," I goaded her. I knew the game Horse was her weakness, and she absolutely hated losing, so I was hoping she'd get competitive and stay for a little while.

Bella looked at me annoyed, but then reached down and grabbed the ball. "You're on," she said, then threw the ball at me hard.

"You mean, you're actually going to play?" Anthony asked confused. Tanya would never risk breaking a nail or getting a bruise in order to play. She never wanted to even break a sweat unless she was at the gym.

"Well, I'm not going to just sit there and watch," she said with a smile. Seeing Bella look clean and healthy, was a weight off my shoulders that I hadn't even realized I was carrying. Of course I thought about her a lot, always have, but we had been so busy getting settled in our new condo that just didn't have time to obsess about it.

Bella threw the ball into the hoop, and Anthony was absolutely shocked. "I didn't know girls could do that," he said impressed.

Bella laughed at him, and just for a moment, I could see a glimpse of the happy go lucky girl she had once been.

Anthony threw the ball the way Bella had and made it in, but of course I missed, and I didn't even do it on purpose.

"Ha-ha, that's an H for you," Bella teased.

"Ok, we're getting serious, are we?" I said with a smile.

"Always," Bella replied.

It was Anthony's turn to make a shot, but he missed, so then it was mine. I threw the ball backwards behind my head, and waited to see if it would go in. "YES!" I jumped in the air, and cheered. I knew Bella could never do that shot, so I was being a little bit of a poor sport, and she knew it.

She smiled and nodded her head at me, and then took her position. She aimed the ball over her head at the hoop, then carefully tossed the ball….and it went in.

"HA!" she said to me.

"How the hell did you do that?" I asked incredulously.

"Practice," she said while wiggling her brows.

Anthony tried to make the shot next, but he missed again, and got really angry with himself.

"I hate this stupid game!" he yelled and then sat down on the grass.

"Hey Anthony, come on," I said, trying to get him to stop pouting. It wasn't like him to act that way, and I wasn't sure what to do.

"Hey Anthony, do you know what?" Bella spoke up, but when Anthony refused to look at her, she went over to him and sat down next to him on the grass. "I never knew how to make that shot either. I used to get so mad every time your dad would do it, when he knew I couldn't."

"But you _did_ do it…and you're a girl," he said bitterly, and then turned away from her again.

"I did it _now_, but I've been practicing it for years, and guess what?" she said.

"What?" he asked coldly.

"I learned a trick," she told him.

"Really?" he asked with renewed interest.

"Yeah, come on, I'll show you," she said and then got up and waited for Anthony to follow. He got up slowly and watched her untrustingly. "Ok, so the trick to making this shot, is aiming the ball first," she said and then pulled him over to help him in the right position. "Ok, do you see the hoop?" she asked while directing him to look over his head at the hoop behind him.

"Yeah," he said awkwardly.

"Ok, now look back in front of you and just toss it," Bella said with a smile.

"Really?" he asked confused.

"Wait a minute," I said in disbelief. "What are you talking about? Anthony, don't listen to her, that's not going to work," I said with a smile. I was confused by her instructions, and I was positive all that would happen was Anthony ending up getting even more pissed.

"No, trust me," she said to Anthony. "It'll work, I promise." Anthony looked at her speculatively, so Bella smiled. "Ok, how about if it doesn't work, then you can…punch me in the arm."

"What? No, he can't" I said quickly.

"Ok, fine," Bella said then thought about something else. "If it doesn't work…I'll buy the ice cream."

Anthony shrugged. "Fine, I'll try it." Without looking at the hoop, he threw the ball over his head, and then turned to see where the ball went. When the ball flew across the court and onto the field, nowhere near the hoop, Bella just stood there stunned. I didn't expect it to go in, and neither did Anthony, but Bella looked like she really did and couldn't believe it didn't work.

We all stood there for a moment quietly, and then out of nowhere, Anthony busted out laughing. I smiled at his hysterics, but Bella looked confused, as if she wasn't sure if he was really laughing are not.

"Well…it's not an exact science," Bella said defensively.

"I want chocolate ice cream!" Anthony said eagerly and then ran off in the direction of the vender.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes, so I shrugged. "He's easy to please."

She nodded slowly, still looking confused, and then got up to follow Anthony.

"Bella, wait," I said quickly before she had a chance to leave again. "Are you ok?"

"Why do you keep asking me that. I've been on my own for a long time, and I've always taken care of myself.

"You look good," I said honestly, still surprised that she could have looked so drastically different only a few weeks before.

"I told you that I'm not an addict," she said resentfully, and then walked quickly after Anthony.

I really didn't know what to make of any of her behavior, but I did know one thing for sure, there was definitely something still off about her….

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><p><strong>***Thanks to those reviewing, I really appreciate it. Like I said in my first AN, this probably won't be a very long story, so I could use all the reviews I can get. **

**So, Please Review.**


	4. Off Track

**She Will Be Loved**

A/N: I wanted to remind everyone that this is an EdwardxBella story, which for me, means Edward and Bella will find their happily ever after TOGETHER and the dragon known as Tanya will eventually be slayed. Just remember Edward's childhood trauma, it's made him scared to death of divorce so it'll take some major events for him to get off his ass and do something about his horrible marriage.

We're going to stay in EPOV until he figures out what's wrong with Bella, and then we'll take a look inside her brain. These chapters are long for me, so that means the story will have fewer chapters and be shorter than my others. I already have the ending on my brain (and it's only ch 4), so I'm trying to work out the in between chapters, but I'm just as anxious as you are. Maybe I'll just write until it's finished and post it in one really long chapter….maybe not. Lol. Thanks for reading.

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><p>~Chapter 4 –<em>Off Track<em>~  
>EPOV<p>

I felt ridiculous letting Bella buy ice cream knowing I had a high paying job and she worked at a bar, but she insisted and said it was only fair.

"Bella?" Anthony said while eating his ice cream.

"Yeah?" she asked him.

"Why do you eat ice cream? Aren't you worried about getting fat?" Anthony asked curiously because he knew his mother refused to touch the stuff.

Bella laughed. "I guess if I ate it all the time it wouldn't be so good, but once in awhile is fine. Plus, it's too good to pass up and we don't get very many warm days around here."

Anthony nodded. "Are you really my aunt?" he said unexpectedly.

Bella stared at him confused for a minute. "Why, you don't think Tanya and I look alike," she said after a minute.

Anthony shook his head. "Not at all, and you act different too."

"Well, we're only half sisters," Bella said, but then Anthony looked puzzled.

"Which half?" he asked.

Bella laughed again. "We have the same mom."

"So…Charlie's not your dad?" Anthony asked even more confused.

"Uh," Bella said hesitantly. "Well, Charlie_ is_ my dad…." She let her sentence trail off realizing that it probably wasn't something she should be telling him.

"Your mom was already born when Renee and Charlie met," I finished for her. I wasn't sure if that was something Tanya wanted to tell Anthony, but I really didn't see a point in hiding it when everyone else knew. He was bound to find out sooner or later.

"So…Charlie isn't really my grandpa?" Anthony asked sadly.

Bella closed her eyes, obviously feeling bad for being the one to tell him that, and after a moment she opened them again and then mouthed the word _'sorry'_ to me.

'_It's ok,'_ I mouthed back. "Charlie is your grandpa, just as much as he is your mom's dad. Tanya doesn't know her real father and she was really young when Charlie married her mom, so Charlie is her father in every way that counts," I explained to Anthony.

"So, that's why you two look different?" he asked Bella.

"Yeah, I guess. Everyone always said that I take after Charlie, and Tanya has a lot of our mom in her," Bella said, but seemed antsy about something, as if she was looking for a way to leave.

"And everyone always says I look just like my dad too," Anthony said excitedly.

"Well, that you do," Bella agreed with a smile.

"But, if Charlie isn't really my grandpa, then why did he say that I got my hockey skills from him?" Anthony asked curiously.

Bella raised her eyebrows, but I just laughed. "Anthony, that's the thing about your grandpa Charlie, sometimes he's full of it. You got your hockey skills from me."

"Oh," Anthony said while nodding. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"What is he full of?"

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"You said that grandpa was 'full of it'. So what is he full of?" Anthony asked confused.

Bella started laughing then, and between her giggles, she said, "Yeah Edward, what is he full of?"

I paused to try to think of an explanation that was kid friendly, but I couldn't really think of any, so I answered with. "It."

"But what is 'it'?" Anthony asked frustrated.

"It's just _it_," I said flustered.

Anthony narrowed his eyes at me, and then actually looked like he understood what I was saying. "Well, mom would be pissed if she knew you were talking about 'it' in front of me."

"Well, mom would be even more pissed that you used the word 'pissed'," I replied with a smile.

"Well, what mom doesn't know won't hurt her," Anthony said like a smartass. I was shocked at his behavior that day; first the pouting over missing the shot, and then the lack of concern for his mother's insane overbearing rules. _It was awesome_. It may have been wrong, but I'd rather him curse and be disrespectful, then be the emotionless zombie that Tanya was trying to raise him as.

"Uh, I should be going," Bella said suddenly. "I only planned on being gone for an hour, so I need to get back." Bella got up off the ground, and then Anthony and I did the same so we could say goodbye. "Thanks for the game," Bella said to Anthony. "I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. Thanks for the ice cream," Anthony said with a huge messy grin.

"You're welcome," she said and then looked up at me. "Bye," she said quietly, and then started to walk off.

"Hey, Aunt Bella!" Anthony called after her, so she stopped and turned around. "Will you come see me play hockey sometime?"

"Uh…sure," she said uneasily, and then gave a forced smile before walking quickly away.

"I like her," Anthony said after a minute. "Why doesn't she come and visit us more?"

"Um, well, sometimes people don't get along well with others," I said vaguely.

"Oh, you mean mom doesn't like her?" Anthony assumed.

"It's complicated," I said, unsure how else to answer him.

"How could anyone not like her? Especially mom, when they're sisters," Anthony asked baffled.

"I really don't know," I said honestly.

I took a deep cleansing breath, and then tried to change the subject. "So, are you excited for the big game on Wednesday?" I asked him as we walked home.

"I guess. The other kids don't really like me very much," he told me.

"Why not?" I asked, even though I was fairly certain I already knew. Anthony just needed to figure out how to be a kid before any other kids would want to hang out with him.

Anthony shrugged. "I just don't know how to talk to any of them."

"Well, I guess you just have to stop worrying about saying the wrong thing all the time. Just think about it this way, if you think your mom wouldn't want you saying or doing something, then that's what you _should_ do," I told him. Perhaps it was the wrong thing to say, but I was so tired of Tanya holding him back that I really just didn't care.

"Really?" he asked unsure.

"Try it," I encouraged him.

"But what happens when mom gets back?" he asked worriedly.

"I told you, I'll handle her," I assured him.

"O-Kay," he said still unsettled, but a hint of a smile played on his lips and I smiled with him. I put my arm around his shoulders, and we walked the rest of the way back to the condo feeling light and carefree. I would try to make us live in the present for the next few weeks, and save worrying about Tanya for when the time came.

I spent the next few days semi obsessing about Bella, of course it didn't help that Anthony kept asking questions about her; I just couldn't understand her behavior. She was angry and messed up when I brought her to Forks, but seeing her at the park, she seemed to be healthy and happy enough but still a little distant. I just wished I knew her the way I once had. I used to be able to read her like a book, at least until she started having more romantic feelings for me, which I was completely blindsided by. I had really thought we had a more sibling type of love, and even looking back on it, it was hard to see a time when her behavior towards me changed. But maybe I was just fooling myself after all, perhaps thinking she loved me like a brother was just easier than facing the truth. She was just a kid back then, anything different than a platonic love would have been wrong.

Wednesday came, and I had been thinking about Bella so much, that when I saw her across the ice arena at Anthony's hockey game that day, I didn't actually believe it was her. I kept glancing at the Bella look-a-like, and just when I was sure it was her, I convinced myself that she wouldn't have any way to know when or where Anthony played. But then my curiosity got the better of me, so I made my way over to know for sure whether it was her or not.

"Bella?" I said hesitantly, even though at that point, I was positive it was her.

"Oh, hi," she said uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I sat down beside her.

"Uh…Anthony asked me to come," she insecurely.

"Yeah, but how did you know where he played?" I asked.

"Well, you were at the community park the other day, and usually people only go there that live in the neighborhood, so I figured he had to play for this league because it's separated by housing zones. I read on the schedule posted that his age group plays at this time," she explained.

"Wow, well, I'm sure he'll be happy when he sees you, he's practically talked about you nonstop since then," I told her.

"Oh…" she said distantly, and then turned away from me to watch the game. We didn't talk much during the game, but for some reason, just sitting next to her was amazing. After missing and worrying about her for so long, just being that close gave me a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in an extremely long time.

Whenever Anthony was on the ice, I watched him proudly, he really was a natural, but when he was on the bench, I watched Bella. She was so different and yet the same, and I wished more than anything that I could unravel her secrets. What was going on in her mind, where had she been, and what was her life like for the past decade? I wanted to just grab her and never let her out of my sight, I wanted to destroy whatever and whoever hurt her in the past, just to give her the smallest amount of peace. She appeared ok while sitting there and when we were at the park, but her eyes were still distant and I could see a deep rooted pain there. Whatever happened to her so many years ago, definitely killed her spirit.

When the game was over all the boys were celebrating their win, but of course being antisocial, Anthony left to find me. Bella looked like she was trying to escape, but it was crowded so she couldn't get away fast enough and Anthony saw her.

"Aunt Bella, you came!" Anthony said excitedly.

"Uh…yeah, I told you that I would," she said with a forced smile, and then she froze when Anthony reached his hands around her, and hugged her. I was absolutely stunned as well, Anthony never really hugged Tanya, so I never expected him to hug Bella in that way. She uncomfortably patted his back, and then he pulled away as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Are you coming over for dinner?" he asked her hopefully.

"Um," she said, not knowing how to respond.

"Dad's making chicken fried steak, it's my favorite," Anthony told her.

"You are?" Bella asked me surprised.

"Uh, well I said I'd try. I'm not the best cook, mainly if it doesn't come out of a box, jar, or carton, I usually stay away from it, but…" I shrugged. "Actually, it's your grandmother's recipe, so I could use some help," I told Bella, really hoping she'd agree.

"The last time I was at your place, it didn't turn out very well," she said to me suggestively.

"Well, I won't lock you in this time, I promise," I assured her. Anthony looked between us confused at first, but then he dismissed it.

Bella considered it for a minute, and then she took a deep breath and surprisingly accepted the invitation. She had taken a bus to the arena, so she came in our car with us back to our condo. She was extremely jittery on the ride home however, but it was different then when she was on drugs before in Forks, it was more like she was just extremely nervous or anxious about being with us. When we got there, she walked inside slowly and looked around anxiously.

"Wanna see my room?" Anthony asked her.

"I don't think that's…" Bella started to say, but Anthony wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Come on," he said eagerly and pulled her down the hall.

They were gone for a few minutes, so I started to attempt dinner. I was up to my elbows in the flour mixture and was trying to beat the eggs, but I somehow started getting confused by the directions on the recipe.

"Here, let me help," Bella said from behind me.

"What? You really think I can't do it?" I asked playfully offended.

"No, I don't," she said seriously, but smirked at the end. "Hand me the pepper," she instructed. "Can you open the meat?"

"Sure," I said and cut the plastic off and then handed it to her. "Remember when your dad was teaching us how to play lacrosse, and he hit me in the eye with his stick?"

Bella laughed once. "Yeah, you cried like a baby and said you needed an ambulance."

"Uh…I did _not_ cry like a baby," I said defensively. "I really thought my eye was missing."

"Sure," she said while giggling to herself again.

"Anyway," I said embarrassed and trying to get to my point. "Your dad took some of this type of raw meat out of the fridge and plopped it on my face. I almost puked, it was so disgusting. I've had a hard time touching the stuff ever since."

Bella laughed even harder then. "Renee was so pissed that Charlie wasted the meat on you," she said almost unintelligibly because of how hard she was laughing.

I had never thought that was a particularly funny memory, but her belly laugh was so infectious that I couldn't help but join in on laughing with her. It made me miss her presence in my life even more than I did before, she always made any situation better.

"Can I help?" Anthony asked as he came out of his room.

"Sure," Bella said quickly and pulled him over to help coat the meat in the batter. Anthony looked a little grossed out from it at first, but then he relaxed and actually seemed like he enjoyed getting all messy. When they were finished dipping the meat, Bella did the unthinkable, she wiped her messy finger onto Anthony's nose.

"Hey, why'd you do that?" he asked angrily.

"I thought it would look good there," she said teasingly.

"That has raw egg in it," he said paranoid.

"Oh, you'll be fine," Bella said unfazed and then put smudges on each of his cheeks to match his nose.

"I could die from that!" he yelled at her.

"You're right," she said apologetically. "We should be putting this on your dad instead," she said and then wiped the rest of her mess off in my hair, and laughed at my stunned reaction.

"Oh, you're dead," I said seriously, and then grabbed the bowl of remaining whipped eggs, and poured them on her shirt. She gasped, but the smile never broke from her face. The next thing I knew, we were in an all out war in the kitchen. Nothing was safe, she even grabbed the food out of the fridge to throw at me. Anthony let his guard down and the two of them completely ganged up on me. I was being bombed from both directions and I was definitely losing the battle. I had never heard Anthony laugh so much in my life, and even when a truce was finally called, we continued to giggle.

We sat at the table each covered in sticky slop, but despite the mess, we still managed to make a delicious meal. We all looked so ridiculous, that we laughed through dinner too, especially when Anthony accidently spit his food out mid-giggle. It was all disgusting, but it was the most fun we had in a long time.

Afterwards, we all cleaned up and took turns in the shower. I didn't want to go through Tanya's clothes to find something clean for Bella to change into, so I just gave her one of my t shirts and sweat pants. When she got out of the shower, the water was still dripping out of her hair, and there wasn't a smidge of makeup on her face. She never wore much makeup, but seeing her completely natural like that was absolutely breathtaking. She reminded me of the kid I knew, except she was very much grown up and my stomach actually turned from knowing it was time to take her home. It was a school night, and Anthony would need to get to bed soon, so I wouldn't be able to take her much later because I couldn't leave him home alone.

"I can take the bus home," Bella said as Anthony and I were putting our shoes on.

"No way. I didn't take you home last time, and there's no way I'm going to let you go out this late on your own," I told her.

She rolled her eyes. "I do it all the time."

"Ok, but right now you don't have to," I said and then the three of us headed to the car.

We drove for a couple minutes with her giving me directions, and I was surprised when she told me we were there. The apartment complex was in no way upscale, but it was decent enough and made me feel so much better about her situation.

Before she got out of the car, she turned around in her seat to say goodbye to Anthony. "Great game today, and thanks for dinner," she said to him, and then they bumped fists.

"Will you come again?" he asked her hopefully.

She smiled halfheartedly. "I'll try," she told him.

"Ok," he said a little disappointed; he obviously noticed the way she hesitated.

"Thanks," she said to me quietly, and then got out of the car, but before she shut the door behind her, a tall man walked up and grabbed her from behind.

"Hello beautiful, where are you coming home from?" he asked her before kissing her neck. I didn't understand the sudden burst of anger and resentment I felt at that minute, but it was hard to turn off as well. Even Anthony seemed rather upset by the man's closeness to Bella.

"Hi Jake," Bella said with a smile, and then gave him a quick kiss on the lips. She glanced over and noticed our gawking, so she decided to introduce us. "Uh, Jake you remember I was telling you about my nephew Anthony and his father?"

"Oh…" he said strangely, and then smiled in a faux friendly way. "Of course, nice to meet you," he said and put his hand through the open door for me to shake. I just glared at his hand, so after a moment he let his hand drop. There was just something about the guy that made me dislike him immediately, and I had an extremely hard time being polite.

"And you are?" I asked him coldly.

"I'm Bella's roommate Jacob," he said confused, as if he expected me to know that already.

"Uh, we should be going inside," Bella said quickly, sensing the tension between us. "Thanks…again," she said and then pulled the man towards the building.

"Where did that jerk come from?" Anthony asked me after a minute.

"Anthony," I said surprised by his language yet again. "We don't even know the guy," I told him.

"Who cares, I just don't like him," he said with his arms crossed.

With the way that Bella kept showing up out of nowhere, I was expecting to see her again the following week, but she never came and after a couple more weeks past, I was starting to worriedly obsess about her again. I found myself driving past her apartment building hoping I'd see her, but I never did and as Tanya's homecoming approached, I got desperate. I remembered she worked at Ben's Bar, so I arranged for a sitter, and forced Jasper to go get some drinks with me.

"Excuse me," I said to the bar tender. "Is Bella Swan working tonight?"

"No, she hasn't been in for awhile."

"She hasn't?" I asked confused. "I thought she came back."

"Well, that's what she does. When she first started working here a few years ago, she was here every day and was never late, but then she stopped showing up and I'd see her around the city stoned all the time. After a while, she cleaned herself up and came back, but then a couple weeks ago she started doing her old shit again. She showed up late, or wasted, and eventually she stopped showing altogether. I swear, Ben should really stop hiring her back."

"Do you have any idea where she would be right now?" Jasper asked for me. I was just so confused by Bella's turbulent personality, that I just couldn't think straight.

"She works part time at the Peek -A-Boy Club, you could try there," another bartender advised after overhearing our conversation.

"What?" I asked, not sure I heard him right.

"Thanks," Jasper said quickly and pulled me out of the bar.

"The Peek-A-Boy Club?" I said incredulously as we walked to the car.

"It's a strip club," Jasper said quietly.

"Yeah, I got that," I said irritated. "We need to go over there _now_," I insisted.

"Who is this girl to you anyway?" Jasper asked confused.

"She's my…sister in law," I said bitterly. I had never called her that before, and for whatever reason, it really felt wrong coming off my tongue.

"Ok," Jasper said strangely but didn't question it any further.

"So, have you ever been to this…strip club before?" I asked disgusted.

"No, it's not really a classy joint, even as far as strip clubs go. I've only driven past it a few times and it always looked pretty shady."

"Great," I said sarcastically.

When we pulled up outside the club, I definitely agreed with Jasper's description of the place, it was a dump. Even the OPEN sign outside looked like it was falling down.

"You sure you want to go in there bro?" Jasper asked me concerned. "We might get hepatitis just from touching the door handle."

I couldn't fathom Bella in that place and if there was the slightest possibility that she was in there, I needed to talk to her. "You can wait outside if you want," I told him. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I found her, kidnapping her didn't work so I was out of ideas. I had no choice but to wing it.

"If you're going in, then so am I," Jasper said, and then clapped my back.

When we went inside, I was shocked even more. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but the people there were definitely _different_.

"Excuse me, is Bella Swan working here tonight?" I asked one of the waitresses.

The woman looked at me oddly, and then smiled. "You don't recognize me, do you?"

"Huh?" I asked confused by the woman with the alarmingly deep voice.

"Jaclyn, show the boys a table," a man yelled to the woman.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm doing," the woman told him strongly. She started walking, so Jasper and I followed hesitantly. We sat in one of the front tables and watched in disbelief as the striper on stage appeared to have an extra appendage between her legs.

"Is this a…" I was about to ask Jasper, but then the deep voiced woman came back to our table.

"What can I get you boys?" she asked us.

"Why should I recognize you?" I asked the woman.

"We met a couple weeks ago…I'm Bella's roommate," the woman, or rather man said.

"Jacob?" I asked in disbelief.

She-he smiled and then leaned on his-her elbow on the table. "Around here, I go by Jaclyn."

I nodded my head slowly in understanding, and glanced over at Jasper; he looked absolutely horrified. I shook out the shock from my head, and then tried to focus on the reason why we were there. "Is Bella here?" I asked him…her.

He sighed, and his face dropped. "I'm afraid she hasn't been doing too well lately."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked getting upset.

"It's not my business to say," Jacob-Jaclyn said, which completely pissed me off.

"I swear to god!" I said while standing up. I had always been protective when it came to Bella, but this guy-chick's attitude was going to make me snap. If Bella was sick or something, I needed to know.

"Woo, calm down buddy," Jasper said and then gestured at the bouncer who was paying close attention to us.

"Where is she?" I asked Jacob again, as calmly as possible.

"She's at home. Look, she just gets off track sometimes; she'll bounce back, she always does."

"What is the apartment number?" I demanded.

"Oh…I don't think she'd want you showing up like that."

"I don't give a shit!" I yelled, but then tried to calm down again.

Jacob looked at me for a minute, as if he was contemplating what he should do, and then he sighed. "I'm only telling you this because I think you could help her. Our apartment number is 415."

"Thanks," I said coldly and then Jasper and I got up to leave, but Jac stopped us.

"Just, be patient with her, she's had it rough," he said and then handed me a key. I wasn't sure what he was giving me the key for, but I took it regardless.

I nodded and then we took off. I dropped Jasper off at his place and then I headed over to the apartment complex where I had left Bella just a couple weeks before. I found number 415 easy enough, then carefully knocked on the door.

"Bella?" I said quietly through the door. "Bella, it's Edward. Are you in there?" I asked, but no answer. I started to get even more worried, so I pounded on the door and yelled for her louder, and that's when I realized what the key was for. I took it out, put it in the lock, and opened the door. "Bella?" I said again as I walked in.

The apartment was an absolute mess. There were dirty clothes and dishes all over the place, and the place stunk like marijuana. I heard coughing in the back room, so I ran back there and pushed the obstructed door open. My stomach dropped, because lying on the floor beside the bed, was Bella…at least I assumed it was her. Her hair was in a ratted mess over her face, her clothes looked like they hadn't been changed in days, and she had bruises all over her arms again. There was a bucket besides her, which appeared to be full of vomit, and there were flies hovering all around.

"Bella," I said again slowly, and bent down besides her. My whole body was shaking as I carefully pushed the dirty hair out of her face, and tried to get her to look at me. "Bella, open your eyes," I told her as I started to panic. She was breathing, but unresponsive. "Come on Bella, you need to look at me," I pleaded.

She moaned, and then weakly opened her eyes, but closed them again right away .

"Bella, what the hell happened to you?" I asked feeling completely defeated. I had an overwhelming need to help her in any way possible; to protect her, even if it was from herself. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could do, I pulled out my cell phone and called an ambulance. I didn't want her to get into trouble, but the fact that she wasn't moving much terrified me, and I couldn't sit there and do nothing. As we waited for help, I pulled her into my arms and held her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit, and for the first time since my parents died, I cried.

* * *

><p><strong>***Oh Bella :'(<strong>

**Please Review.**


	5. Conditions

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 5 –_Conditions_~  
>EPOV<p>

I watched helplessly as the EMTs worked on Bella, and then took her into the ambulance. It reminded me of when I was overseas and someone would get shot or hurt by a roadside bomb. It was chaos and scrambling to fix whatever was broken, except with Bella, what was broken couldn't be seen. They could pump her stomach and get the toxins out of her body, but until she was healed emotionally, she would never truly be better.

I got into my car and followed the ambulance. On route to the hospital, I called Jasper and asked him to relieve the sitter at my condo and take Anthony to his place for the night. Jasper and his girlfriend Alice both adored Anthony, so I knew it wouldn't be a problem. They were in that stage of relationship where they weren't ready to have kids yet themselves, but thoroughly enjoyed other people's children to practice for their 'someday'. I debated whether or not to call Charlie and Renee, but then decided to just wait and talk to Bella when she got better first. She obviously didn't want any contact with her parents, so forcing them on her at that point would probably just end up setting her back even further than she already was.

When I got to the hospital, all I could do was wait while the doctors did what they could for her.

"Mr. Masen?" A doctor asked me after a couple hours.

"Yes?" I asked anxiously. Since I was her brother in law, I was legal family and allowed to make decisions on her behalf.

"We have Ms. Swan stable; she was lucky, you got to her in the early stages, but right now we're more concerned about her mental stability. Now, we can't say for sure whether or not this was a suicide attempt, but her past records would indicate that it was," the doctor said taking me aback. I was definitely not expecting to hear that Bella had tried to commit suicide. I felt sick, like there was a huge gaping hole festering in my stomach. I knew she dabbled in drugs, as she put it before, but her issues went far beyond I ever imagined. "This wouldn't be her first attempt at taking her life," the doctor informed me.

"Wait, she's done this before?" I asked terrified.

The doctor looked at me confused, as if I should have known her record. "She was brought in here eight years ago; of course she didn't have any ID at the time so we treated her as a Jane Doe."

"So," I said while closing my eyes and trying to think clearly. "She had an overdose eight years ago as well?"

"No, I don't believe drugs were involved that time. Her psychologist should be around to check on her as soon as she's awake. You can go in and see her now, if you wish."

"Thanks," I told him sincerely and then went inside Bella's room. She looked horrible, but better than she was when I found her in her apartment. She was sleeping, so I just sat next to her and stared in shock at her motionless body. I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my face; I just felt so helpless and utterly lost. How could someone who was so full of life as a kid, make such a horrible turn and become something so unrecognizable.

I brought her hand down to rest it back on the bed, but then something caught my attention. On the inside of her wrist, there was a thin horizontal scar.

"Oh my god," I said to myself. I reached over her and looked at her other wrist, which had a matching scar, and I realized what the doctor meant by her previous suicide attempt not being drug induced. I was so confused by the whole thing. I had heard of people losing it from the drugs and trying to kill themselves because of not being able to dig themselves out of the issue, but the scars proved that it wasn't the case. She tried to kill herself eight years before, and it had nothing to do with drugs. What the hell was running through her mind to make her think she had no way out, so she slit her wrists?

I knew that I failed her. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own grief from losing my parents, I wouldn't have enlisted in the military, and I would have been around to help her. She saved my life when we were kids and all I did was abandon her, and I realized then that my abandonment started when I first began dating Tanya. She loved me back then, and all I did was mess around with her sister. I couldn't imagine what that did to her, not to mention the fact that I forced her into our home in Forks, where she was subjected to years of smiling photographs of our 'perfect' lives together. I knew in that moment that her emotional turmoil was mostly my fault. Yes she had issues with her family, but I could have saved her, and I'd be damned if I failed at that again.

I sat next to her all night, and when the morning came, she finally woke up.

"Hey," I said with a worried smile. When she saw me, she moaned and then rolled over so her back was towards me. "Bella," I said, then stopped myself. I wanted to ask her if she was ok, but that was just a stupid question. I didn't know what to say, or how to act; I just wanted to fix it but I had no idea how. If her problems were really about me and Tanya, then perhaps being around our son wouldn't be the best thing for her. I would never wish my son away, so how was I supposed to fix Bella's problems? "How are you feeling?" I asked her after a minute,

"Like shit," she mumbled still facing away from me.

"What happened?" I asked quietly. "You seemed like everything was fine when you were at our condo."

Bella didn't answer me, but then a different doctor walked in the room, and by her ID card, I knew she was a psychologist. "Good morning Bella," she said. "And I don't think we've met before, I'm Dr. Esme Cullen," she said to me with her hand outstretched towards me.

"Uh, Edward Masen," I introduced myself.

"Are you a new boyfriend, or just a friend friend?" she asked me.

"Uh no, I'm her _brother in law_," I said hesitantly. I really hated the whole 'in law' thing.

"Ok," she said curiously. "Bella, do you want Mr. Masen to step out of the room when we have this conversation?"

"I don't really care, because there's nothing to say. I didn't try to kill myself, I just mixed the wrong stuff, that's all," Bella said defensively.

"Now Bella, we both know that you've used drugs in the past to numb yourself, and you know exactly what can and can't be mixed. We both know that an overdose from you isn't done accidently."

"Whatever," Bella said annoyed and then it became clear that she wasn't going to say anymore, so Dr. Cullen closed her file and then got up to leave.

"If you're not going to try to help yourself, then there's nothing I can do here," the doctor said and then walked out of the room.

"Wait, doctor?" I said as I chased after her. When we were out of the room, she stopped and waited for me to ask my question. "What happens now?" I asked her.

"Well, we can hold her here until she's well enough to go home, or I can have her committed."

"Committed? Like to a psych ward?" I asked concerned.

"This is her second attempt on her life that we know of, and that would definitely qualify her to be admitted. And that doesn't count all the other times she's been caught using. She was sentenced to mandatory therapy lessons, of which she's only shown up to about half. Now I've been forgiving with her because I see so much potential, but I can't ignore this."

"No," I said quickly. "No, she doesn't need to be in a place like that. Let me call her parents and we'll try to get her to let us take care of her."

"With all due respect Mr. Masen, her parents have been notified on multiple occasions, and they have yet to come and try to help."

"That's bullshit. I know her parents would go to the ends of the earth to help her," I said angrily.

The doctor pressed her lips together and shook her head slightly. "That's just not the case sir, I'm sorry." She started to walk off again, but I followed; I wasn't done with the conversation yet.

"So, she's going to be committed then?" I asked in a panic.

"Well, I haven't decided yet. If we can't prove the suicide attempt, then I technically can't detain her, but if I feel like she's at risk to herself and I don't think she'll show for her weekly psyc evaluations, then that's my call."

"I swear, I'll take care of her. I'll make sure she has a place to stay and that she makes all her therapy appointments."

"Sir, you can't force her into that…"

"I realize that, but I'll find a way to convince her to go. I'll figure it out, I know I can," I said convincingly.

She considered it for a minute, and then nodded. "Anymore trips to the hospital and I'll have her committed. I want her to have a successful life and if anyone is willing to help her with that, then I'm willing to give it a try."

I nodded, and realized that I just signed up for the battle of my life. I had no idea what I was going to do, especially with Tanya coming home in a little over a week, but I had to just figure it out. I couldn't lose her again.

The next afternoon, Bella was released but when she saw me, she tried walking in the opposite direction.

"Bella wait!" I called and ran after her.

"We've already been through this Edward, you can't lock me up, and I won't stay otherwise," she said without stopping.

"But I promised your doctor that I'd take care of you," I told her.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me," she said bitterly.

"Really, because I think you do. All you keep saying is that you've been on your own for the past decade so you don't need help now, but maybe if you had someone, then you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself."

"It's none of your business!" she said irately. "Besides, I'm not alone…I have…"

"Who, Jacob Jaclyn _whatever_?" I asked incredulously.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "How'd you know about that?"

"He…she…whatever, told me where to find you last night. Look, he…she…whatever obviously isn't enough to help you."

"I don't need help," she said again, but with less anger in her voice.

"Just come back home with me. You seemed to have a good time with us, didn't you?" I asked her.

"It doesn't matter. Tanya will be back soon and there is no way she'll let me be there," Bella said quietly.

"I'll handle Tanya…besides, she won't be back until next week, so at the very least, give me until then," I pleaded. I kept feeling the hate I had for Tanya boil up to unhealthy levels, but just when I think there isn't a way to hate her any more, something always comes up and my hate rises. The fact that I had to tell both Anthony and Bella that I'd 'handle' her, just made it painfully clear that Tanya was just like a disease, consuming everyone in her path. I decided in that moment to talk to a lawyer about getting full custody of Anthony. I knew it was a long shot because the system rarely granted the father custody in divorces, but I had to at least see what my options were.

Bella looked past me for an endless moment, and then she looked me in the eye and spoke calmly. "I didn't try to kill myself, at least not consciously. The doctor said that I'm manic depressive or bipolar, or whatever. Sometimes, I forget to take my medication and it goes on for awhile and I end up getting depressed and use drugs. I won't let it happen again, I swear, but if it would make you feel better, I'll come stay with you until Tanya comes back."

"Really?" I asked surprised. The fact that she was agreeing to come with me, was proof that she at least wanted to get better. The bipolar diagnosis would definitely make sense, she seemed extremely happy at times, and at others she was cold and bitter; the drugs however, were a whole other thing, something that I just didn't understand. She never seemed to go through withdraws like an addict would, but when she was on them, the drugs really seemed to mess her up.

"I have some conditions though," she said quickly.

"Ok, anything," I told her.

"I'll give you this week to try to…_save me_, or whatever you feel is necessary, but you can't tell my parents or Tanya and you need to make sure Anthony doesn't either."

"Why?" I asked confused. "Bella, your parents have never given up on you. I have found Charlie on multiple occasions looking longingly at your photo and even crying at times. They love you Bella, why won't you let them in?" I asked, dismissing what the doctor had said about them. She had to have been mistaken because I knew the Swans would never stay away when Bella needed them.

"Edward, please. I need you and Anthony to not tell them, and when Tanya comes back next week, I need you to let me go."

"No," I told her strongly. "I'm tired of her shit, and I will not let her push you or Anthony around ever again."

"Those are my conditions," Bella insisted.

"And what then? Next week after Tanya gets back, how am I supposed to be ok knowing you're probably out there somewhere getting high? And when we see you around the city, you just want us to pretend that we don't know you?" I asked skeptically. "I can't do that Bella, I can't let you disappear on me again."

"I'm not going to disappear, but you won't see me around anymore either," she said strangely.

"Why?" I asked feeling like my heart was about to leap out of my chest.

"I'm moving to Vegas," she said, completely flabbergasting me. She could clearly see the bewildered expression on my face, so she decided to explain further. "Jake, has always wanted to be a 'showgirl', so we're going together; starting new."

I didn't know if I should laugh or just be scared shitless, or perhaps both. "You and Jake?" I questioned, though the strange jealousy I felt when I first met him was long gone by then.

"Yeah, he's my best friend…no, he's more than that, he's like a sister to me," she said with a smile.

I smiled too, despite myself. "I'm sure he's a far better sister than Tanya ever was."

"Well, that's not too hard," she said quietly. "Look, I was planning on leaving with Jake all along, and since our lease is up at the end of the week, we decided to leave then. I'm not going to keep using drugs, I promise. I'll stay on my medication and I'll make sure I see a therapist in Nevada. I'll write to you every week if it'll make you feel better, but…I need you to let me go."

"Why shouldn't I tell your parents or sister?" I asked.

She looked down while biting her bottom lip, before looking back up at me. "Because that's what I'm asking you to do. Please Edward, just…do this one last thing for me. After next week, you just need to go back to the way things were before I came back into your life. Just forget I was ever here."

I absently started shaking my head no, but somehow I must have agreed because the next thing I knew, we were stopping by her apartment so she could get a suitcase of her stuff for the week. She asked me to wait in the car so she could talk to Jacob for a minute, so I did. Ten minutes later, Bella came out and Jacob was following her, carrying her suitcase.

"Hey, thanks for taking care of her the other night," Jacob said to me graciously.

I nodded. "Thanks for telling me where she was," I said sincerely and pulled his key out of my pocket to give back to him.

"I'll see you in a few days," Bella said to Jake.

"Ok sweetie, have fun," Jake said to Bella and then they hugged and kissed quickly before Bella got into the car. I put her suitcase in my trunk and then shook Jacob's hand before heading home.

Bella was still extremely tired from her ordeal, so by the time we got back to my condo, she was ready for bed. I made up the guest room for her, and then actually tucked her in before going to call Jasper to have him bring Anthony home. Bella was quiet for the rest of the night, so I didn't even bother telling Anthony she was there. He would just want to go in and talk to her if he knew, so I decided to wait until morning. But every couple hours, I found myself peeking in the guest room, just to make sure she was ok. I was terrified for her at that point, and I wasn't confident that she was any better, despite what she said.

After Anthony went to bed, I made up the couch in the living room to sleep on. Tanya and I hadn't shared a bed in over five years, but I still kept my stuff in the master room for appearance purposes. I always slept in the guest room, so with it only being a three bedroom condo, I had nowhere else to go for the night. I could have crashed in Tanya's bed for the week, but I'd rather be uncomfortable on the couch.

I tried to sleep, but no matter how tired I was from the extremely long couple of days, I just couldn't sleep and it had nothing to do with being on the couch. Every time I closed my eyes, I'd see the image of Bella dirty and unresponsive on her bedroom floor, and I knew I'd have that horrendous picture in my mind for the rest of my life. I had no idea what I would have done if she died that night, the thought of it was actually physically painful.

"Oh sorry," Bella's voice sounded softly in the darkness.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a panic. I wasn't sure if she was trying to sneak out, or find something to get high with, or just innocently getting a drink of water.

"I…I just couldn't sleep, so I was going to watch some TV. Why are you out here?" she asked me suspiciously.

"Oh…I already washed all the sheets in the master bedroom and I wanted them to stay clean for Tanya," I lied pathetically. I didn't want her to think she was taking my bed, so I didn't tell her the truth.

"Will you come and lay with me for a little while?" she asked unexpectedly. Over the years since we first met, we would often return to her tree house and have campouts. We always loved sleeping next to each other, especially when it was snowy out, but we hadn't done it since before I started high school. Once Bella asked me to lay with her in the guest room however, the thought of saying no seemed next to impossible. There wasn't anything I wanted more at that moment then to sleep that close to her again.

"Ok," I told her, and then followed her back to the guest room. Neither of us hesitated when climbing into the bed together, it was something that still felt familiar and almost normal in an odd way. Even after so many years apart, having her lying next to me was like the feeling of coming home. It was a feeling that didn't exist without Bella, and I knew once she was gone, I'd never feel it again.

We laid on opposite sides of the bed at first, but within five minutes, she snuggled up to me the way she always had when we were young, and we fell asleep together. I woke up at various times in the night, just to feel her small frame still hugging my side, and then I'd fall back asleep with the security of knowing that at least for the moment, she was safe. Bella was in my arms, and Anthony was in the next room over, so the entire world could have disappeared outside the condo and I would have been completely ok with that.

I was positive that with the position we fell asleep in, there was no way Bella could have gotten up without me knowing, but when I woke up the next morning, I was alone in the bed. I got up quickly, terrified that she left in the night and I'd never see her again, but when I opened the door, I could definitely smell something cooking in the kitchen.

"Hey," I said with a smile after seeing Bella teaching Anthony how to make omelets. The kitchen was a mess with cheese and egg shells everywhere, but Anthony had the biggest grin on his face.

"Dad, we're making omelets. Mom never lets me help but Aunt Bella said that if I don't help, then I'll never learn how to do it," Anthony explained excitedly.

"Wow. Well, she's right," I told him.

"Well, why doesn't mom want me learning then?" he asked slightly down.

"I think mom just doesn't want the mess," I told him.

"Sorry, I'll clean it all up," Bella said quickly.

"Don't worry about it," I said with a grin. Bella stared at me for a minute, then smiled halfheartedly and looked back down at the stove.

"So, any plans today?" Bella asked me casually. It was a Saturday so we pretty much had the day free.

"What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"We can go to the beach," she suggested.

"Yeah, can we dad?" Anthony asked enthusiastically.

"Sure, of course," I said.

After breakfast, we got ready for the beach and packed a picnic. Bella wanted to make a sand castle and fly a kite, so we made sure we grabbed those things as well.

"Here, fill this bucket with water," Bella instructed me as we sat on the beach.

"That water is freezing," I complained. With it being the Pacific Northwest, people didn't usually go to the beach to get into the water very often.

"Oh come on, don't be a baby," Bella said teasingly.

"Anthony, how about _you_ go get the water," I told him.

"No way, I'm helping Bella with the moat," he said while digging a ditch into the sand.

I moaned playfully, and then kicked sand on my way to the waves. I put the bucket down to fill it in the water, when suddenly a wave came up and soaked me from the waist down….and it was fucking cold. I could hear Anthony and Bella laughing from where they were sitting, so I charged them. If I was going to be cold and wet, then so were they. Both of them got up quickly and ran frantically away from me, but of course I was faster. Maybe it was payback for the food fight before, but I wouldn't stop until they were as cold and wet as I was.

I caught Bella first, and knocked her over before practically laying on top of her so my wet clothes would get hers wet too. Anthony tried to protect his aunt by trying to help her push me off, but I just grabbed him and threw him down on the sand next to Bella. I couldn't tell which one of them was laughing harder.

After I was satisfied that they were both truly miserably wet, we calmed down and I built a fire to dry us off. Even though it was pretty cold that day, the fire was warm and made the whole thing a little more tolerable. Bella even took off her sweat shirt so she'd dry faster.

"Bella? Why do you have bruises all over your arms?" Anthony asked concerned.

"Oh…well, I just bruise easily," she said uncomfortably.

"Did that Jake guy hurt you?" Anthony asked protectively.

"No sweetie, Jake is really a nice guy," Bella tried convincing him.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Anthony asked her with an edge to his voice that I had never heard before from him.

Bella laughed. "No, he's just a friend."

"But he kissed you," Anthony challenged her.

"Well, Jake is just like that. I promise, we're just friends," Bella said, but Anthony didn't seem very comforted.

"Do you have a different boyfriend?" he asked her.

Bella laughed at his oddly jealous tone, but shook her head no.

"Good," Anthony said under his breath, which was just too funny that I had to say something to him when Bella went to use the bathroom.

"Dude, you do realize that she's your aunt, right?" I asked him.

"Yeah, so?" he asked confused.

"So, you can't have a crush on your aunt. That's just wrong."

"I don't have a crush on her," he said defensively and utterly disturbed.

"Then why do you care if she has a boyfriend or not?" I asked puzzled.

He shrugged. "I just don't want anyone to hurt her," he said quietly. "She seems sad sometimes, and I don't like it."

I took a deep breath and then sighed heavily. "I know what you mean kiddo," I told him while wrapping my arm around his shoulder and pulling him into me.

That night, after getting home from the beach, we all huddled under a blanket and watched a movie together. It was Bella's idea, and Anthony was once again shocked by her behavior. Tanya wouldn't be bothered by movies Anthony liked and she said popcorn ruined teeth, so Bella being so different was a welcomed relief for him.

The three of us sat closely so we could all fit under the blanket and reach the popcorn bowl. Anthony was between us, but half way through the movie, I noticed he wasn't touching me anymore. I looked over and saw him leaning against Bella with his head resting on the crook of her neck, and they were both fast asleep. Her face was positioned so that her nose and mouth were buried in his hair, and her arms were draped around him gently.

It was actually an extremely emotional thing to see. Anthony's own mother wasn't half as attentive and affectionate with him, and Bella would be leaving soon, taking their bond with her. I thought for a moment that it would have been easier for Anthony to never know that Bella existed, then for him to get to know her and have her disappear from his life again, but I knew Bella's impact in his life would stay with him forever and make him a better person for it. I was a better person for knowing her, so of course he would be too.

I wanted to leave Anthony there all night, but I knew that Bella would start to feel a little squished after a few hours; Anthony was ten not four. I got up and lifted Anthony over my shoulder before carrying him to bed. When I came back, Bella was awake again and picking up the spilled popcorn kernels all over the couch.

"Thanks, for spending this time with him," I told her emotionally. "I know it really means a lot to him."

She smiled faintly, "It means a lot to me too. He's really my only family who can stand me."

I wanted to argue with her more and try to convince her that her parents still cared, but it only seemed like a waste of time. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around her tightly, and just held her to me. She responded by molding herself even closer to me, and burying her face into my chest. I hadn't realized how much and how long that I needed that hug for, until she was there, and then I started wondering again how I would ever let her leave.

I kissed her hair softly, and then let go of her body so we could walk into the bedroom. She didn't ask me to sleep with her again, but I knew she wanted me to. We both climbed into bed, and she automatically latched onto me the way she had the night before. Her head was rested on my chest and her body was pressed tightly to my side. One of her arms was stretched across my abdomen, and even her legs were somehow intertwined with mine. Suddenly she moved her arm so her hand could be at my stomach, and very deliberately, her hand slipped under my shirt and began caressing my muscles there.

I involuntarily closed my eyes from the amazing feeling of her skin on mine, and couldn't help the slight moan that escaped my lips. A part of me was shocked that I could be so effected by such a simple act, but it had been so long since I had been touched in any way close to that, and I became powerless against her.

My strong response to her was obvious, so she did something I never thought would ever happen between us, she pulled herself up, and kissed me. It was a surreal out of body experience, and for the life of me, I didn't know how to stop. Her lips were like silk against mine, and as she slowly parted them, I knew we were about to cross the line which I had held onto so tightly for so long. I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything in my life, and I knew it was wrong, but it felt so completely right that I just didn't care about anything else.

Our soft kiss suddenly erupted into a fit of desperate passion as she climbed on top of me, and straddled my waist. My hands found their way to her hips, which I grasped tightly as she started grinding against my pelvis, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I pushed her off so she was sitting across from me on the bed.

"We..We can't do this," I told her as I panted for air.

She shook her head. "Definitely not," she agreed. But then we crashed back together like magnets. We were on our knees and we watched helplessly as our clothes seemed to shred off of us on their own, and we lost all control as our bodies took over completely. I never chose to remove her underwear, but as my hands were slipping them off without my permission, I couldn't think of a reason to stop. At that moment, there wasn't a thing in the world that could make me not want her; not take her to where I didn't know I wanted to go. I needed to be inside her, and there wasn't a single thought of hesitation from then on.

I ended up on top of her, with our bodies pressed so closely together that I couldn't remember what it felt like to not have her skin on mine in that way. I had no intention of stopping, but a brief moment of clarity made me pause. "I..I don't have.."

"It's ok," she told me. "I don't have any diseases and I take the pill," she said no louder than a breath, and that's all I needed to hear. My lips were back on hers, and my brain moved aside to let my body take back over. I felt like I was in a dreamlike haze, but I knew I would always remember with pristine clarity the moment I pushed into her for the first time.

It was Bella who I was holding, who I was buried deep inside of; my angel Bella who I loved from the first moment I saw her. It was a lifetime's worth of pent up emotions embodied in that perfect feeling of finally being entirely connected, both physically and spiritually. I never felt anything like it, and I knew I never would again. I could die after that and be sent to an eternity of hell, but still be happy knowing I experienced pure bliss on earth.

I couldn't get close enough to her, or deep enough inside of her, and before I knew it, her muscles were tightening around me which caused an aching inside the core of my being, followed by an eruption of pure agonizing euphoria that spread like a warm breeze over my entire body.

Unwilling to let the moment go, I stayed inside her and rocked with the pulsating numbness that was coursing through my veins. I fell asleep still inside her, and when the sun disrupted our peace, we woke up in the exact same position. It was a new day, and I knew everything would be different.

We locked eyes and smiled, and then I kissed her good morning. The kiss made our still attached bodies awaken as well, and we picked up right where we ended the night before. After we both came together again, we reluctantly and grudgingly pulled apart to start our day. It actually felt strange being separated from her, like as if we weren't ever supposed to be apart. But it was getting late in the morning, and the last thing we needed was to have to explain what we were doing to Anthony.

We spent that day much like the one before, the three of us hung out and laughed the hours away. Bella and I never spoke about what we did and what it meant, but when Anthony wasn't looking, we would find ourselves sneaking kisses, or touching each other in some way.

I knew that was the way life was supposed to be, and regardless of my custody situation with Tanya, I needed to end the marriage. I couldn't live in fear that Tanya would put Anthony and herself in an unsafe environment the way my mother had done when my parents divorced, it wasn't healthy for anyone. I didn't want Anthony to grow up and find himself in a loveless marriage and be too afraid to leave because he had seen me do that with his mother. Life was too short, and I was tired of not living. Anthony was miserably with Tanya either way, so if he could be happy with me and Bella half the time, then at least that would be an improvement.

Of course, I would continue to take care of Tanya financially since she didn't really have a job and she was my son's mother; I could definitely afford it, but that was as far as I was willing to go with her ever again. I'd give her the house in Forks, and pay alimony until the day I died, even give her more than her share, just to get my freedom and be able to be with Bella the way we always should have been.

The next few days were calm and peaceful and yet, every time I'd see Bella, my stomach would do flips and my heart would flutter like it wanted to fly out of my chest. When we locked eyes, her face would light up in a way that I never thought she would be capable of again after seeing her so broken before. Perhaps that was all that she needed, what we both needed. Could it have really been that simple, and fixed just as easily? We belonged together, and as long as we held on, I knew everything would be ok.

The three of us were like a family, the way a family should be. I took that week off of work, but Anthony had school, so every morning Bella would make him breakfast and pack him a lunch, and we would both walk him to school. When we were alone, Bella and I would spent that time living like newlyweds, the kind of couple that couldn't get enough of each other. We didn't talk about what the future would bring us and we didn't make any plans, we were constantly living in the moment, and I couldn't think of a time when I was happier.

But reality always comes back, and all too soon, our perfect week was over.

"As soon as I tell Tanya that I want a divorce, I'll talk to Anthony about us," I told Bella softly. It was the night before Tanya was due back, and I needed Bella to be sure of my intentions. I wanted to be with her, and my vile marriage would end as quickly as possible.

Bella didn't respond, she just rolled over on top of me and kissed my neck before taking me inside her again. Her body was a symphony, and despite the fact that she was under weight and the bruises were still yellowed on her arms, she was absolutely perfect. There wasn't an inch of her I didn't want to touch, and after only a few days with her, I was sure that I was already close to succeeding. But even after I managed to kiss every part of her, I knew there was no way I could ever get bored. My body knew hers belonged with it, and there would never be a moment I'd ever desire anything different.

When morning came again, I woke up almost eager for Tanya to arrive. I wanted to end it once and for all, and finally begin to live the life I was meant to be living with Bella. I woke up with an electric charge over every inch of me, and I was actually giddy.

"Hey buddy, where's Bella?" I asked him after I came out of the bedroom. Bella often woke up before me and spent a few minutes with Anthony, so I figured that was the reason she wasn't with me in bed when I first woke up.

"Oh, she said she had to leave," Anthony said, as if he was surprised that I didn't know.

"What do you mean, leave?" I asked confused. It had only been a few days, but the thought of her running away again was completely unfathomable to me.

"She came in my room really early this morning and said she was leaving for Vegas…Dad, why is she going to Vegas?" he asked confused.

I felt numb. I just couldn't believe that she actually left after everything that happened between us, so I ran back to the room we had been sharing, and my heart dropped as I saw that her suitcase was gone. I didn't know what to do, I had thought that our time together would change everything, but all it did was leave me feeling completely lost….

* * *

><p><strong>***Ahhh! I'll say it again, <strong>_**Oh Bella**_**.**

**A huge event is coming in the next chapter, Please Review**


	6. Losing Everything

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 6 –_Losing Everything_~  
>EPOV<p>

"What's wrong dad?" Anthony asked me as I just stood there in shock.

"Huh?" I asked absently.

"What's the matter?" he asked again.

"Oh…I just wasn't expecting Bella to leave like that," I said honestly.

"Why? She said she was leaving when mom gets back, and mom is coming back today, right?" he asked and I nodded. "Dad, why did Bella ask me not to tell mom that she was here?"

That's when I remembered Bella's conditions. She said that she would only stay with us if we didn't tell Tanya or her parents about her being there, and if I promised to let her go afterwards. But I really thought everything changed when we made love. I thought she understood that I wanted to be with her, and I was positive she wanted me too. How could I have been so wrong?

I spent the next hour cleaning the condo, but when I was finished, I couldn't remember what exactly I had cleaned. Everything was a blur because my mind couldn't focus; all I could think about was Bella. She had only been gone for a few hours, but I ached for her and without her, I felt like an empty shell.

"Dad, it's eleven o'clock," Anthony said after a while.

"Uh huh," I said carelessly.

"You said we needed to pick up mom at eleven o'clock," Anthony reminded me.

"Oh right," I said while shaking my head to try to clear my mind.

We got into the car and I drove to the airport, but for the first time in more than a month, we didn't have anything to say to each other. I could tell that Bella affected him, and he probably didn't know how to feel at that moment. He knew he was supposed to be happy about his mother coming home after so long, but he wasn't, and I was sure he was confused about that.

I parked the car, and then we got out and waited for Tanya to meet us at baggage claim. Anthony and I had both talked to Tanya every week that she was gone, but it was always quick conversations and the words 'I miss you' or 'I love you' were never exchanged over the phone. But still, I would think Anthony would be a little excited to see his mother, it was only natural. Even kids who were abused somehow still loved their parents.

"There she is," I told Anthony as Tanya came into view.

Tanya surprisingly had the hugest grin on her face after seeing us, and she actually ran to close the distance between us.

"Oh my boys!" she cried while locking her arms around both of us. Anthony and I just stood there uncomfortably and waited for her to let us go. "I missed you so much," she said and then kissed Anthony's cheek before wrapping both arms around me and locking her lips to mine. I seriously wanted to gag.

"What's wrong baby?" she asked me after pulling back.

I shook my head, but said nothing. We couldn't have that conversation in front of Anthony, but I wasn't willing to play perfect family anymore either. I didn't understand Bella leaving, but even if she never came back, I couldn't continue with the charade of being Tanya's husband anymore. I experienced what life was supposed to be like, and that's what Anthony and I both needed.

Tanya spent the entire car ride home blabbing about her trip, and never once did she ask how our time was without her. Of course, that was Tanya and I didn't expect anything more.

When we got to the condo, she looked around as if she was evaluating the cleanliness of the place. "So, anything exciting happen while I was gone?" she asked finally.

"My hockey team is in third place right now," Anthony said excitedly.

Tanya looked at me appalled and then turned her attention back to Anthony. "Oh…well, that's nice. I'm surprised you've been playing hockey since I thought your dad and I agreed that it was too dangerous," she said to him in a soft tone, but shot me a death glare at the same time.

"Do I have to quit?" Anthony asked her sadly.

It was my turn to glare at Tanya, so she actually sighed and then backed down. "No, it's fine. But if you break any bones from it, then you're done. Deal?" she said to him.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah. If you're sure it's what you really want," she said reluctantly.

"I do, thanks mom," he said excitedly and then ran to his bedroom.

"Thanks," I said to her for not making him quit, and then walked into the kitchen to see what we had for lunch.

"I'm sorry I didn't call more," Tanya said softly.

"It's fine," I said coldly as I pulled the lunch meat out of the fridge.

"So, I'm excited for our new beginning," she said while grabbing my hand and weaving her fingers between mine. I pulled my hand away but had to shake it to get her fingers unlocked from mine. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"We need to talk about that," I told her and then stepped even further away.

"Ok, so talk," she said and then waited.

I shook my head. "I'm going to see Anthony can hang out with Jasper, he doesn't need to hear what I have to say."

Tanya looked at me suspiciously. "Who are you fucking?"

I laughed once humorlessly. "This really has nothing to do with anyone else besides you and me…and well Anthony too."

She huffed. "We already talked about that before I left, and we agreed that we'd start over when I got back."

"No, I said I would think about it, and I have. I don't want this anymore Tanya. We don't love each other, and probably never did. I think it would be best for everyone if we got a…"

"Don't you dare say the D word," she said angrily. "Our marriage is _not_ over. We are not going to be a statistic, I won't let us be." She started to walk away so she didn't have to listen anymore, but enough was enough, and I didn't want to put it off any longer. I peeked into Anthony's room and was relieved that he was wearing his headphones and wouldn't be able to hear what we were saying.

I walked back to find Tanya, and saw that she was in her bedroom and actually sniffing the sheets. "Did you fuck her in here?" she asked irately, when I didn't answer, she groaned and then started stripping the bed.

"Tanya, we need to talk about this," I told her.

"No we don't. You got laid while I was gone, so what? That doesn't mean anything. We said we were going to start over when I got back, and that's what we're doing. I won't bring up your affair again, and we'll forget about it."

"I don't want to forget about it!" I said bitterly. Tanya looked up at me completely stunned. She had accused me of having an affair on multiple occasions, but usually I would deny it or just ignore her. That was the first time that I practically admitted it, and it was clear that it was also the first time that she really thought her accusations were actually true.

"You really found someone else?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. But it has nothing to do with this; we should have divorced a long time ago."

She shook her head. "I love you."

"No you don't. Look, I get that you don't want people to talk shit about you and everything, but I can't live like this anymore. I have a meeting with Jasper's lawyer on Tuesday, and I'm going to file the paperwork."

"I'll will not be divorced at twenty eight years old Edward. If you want a divorce, then you'll have to wait until we're at least in our forties," she told me.

"Tanya, no. I will not waste anymore of my life being trapped like this."

"Well, I won't let you make a fool of me. You want to divorce, then fine. I hope you've enjoyed your time alone with Anthony, because that won't be happening again for a long time."

"You can't do that," I told her unfazed. "There isn't a judge in this world that would grant you full custody."

"Wanna bet," she said with a sadistic grin. "You've admitted infidelity."

"So. All my infidelity will do, is make me pay more in alimony. Besides, you've admitted on multiple times the affairs you've had. I'm sure I can even find guys willing to testify that they fucked you since we've been married. I don't give a shit about any of that Tanya; it has no barring in a custody case."

She looked at me pissed, but she knew I was right. If I wanted a divorce then there was nothing she could do about it, and the best she could hope as far as Anthony was concerned, was shared custody.

"I want Anthony living with me in Forks," she said carelessly.

"He loves his school here," I argued.

"I don't care. Kids belong with their mother, and that's where he'll be."

"Damn it Tanya. You don't give a shit about that, and you know it. You're just trying to save face. Why don't you do yourself a favor, and move here so you can get the hell away from all that small town gossip shit. Those people are toxic, and you shouldn't be around them either. The condo next door is up for rent; I'll pay the whole thing for you and even give you money for living expenses. It's what's best for Anthony, so for once, just put him first," I told her, hoping she had an ounce of motherly selflessness.

"Absolutely not. I'm going back to the house in Forks, and you better believe that everyone will know what an asshole you really are. No one will want to give your car shop business anymore, and poor Emmett will be out of work. But you don't give a shit about him do you? You have your perfect fucking city job, with your perfect fucking condo, and you perfect fucking mistress. But I will not let you throw me under the bus; I'm going to take you for everything you have."

"Whatever. I really don't care what you have to say anymore. You can't scare me into staying with you," I told her.

"Fine," she said, and then grabbed her still packed suitcase and pulled it into the living room. "Anthony!" she called to him.

"Tanya, we need to tell him calmly. He needs to know this isn't his fault," I told her quickly, but she wouldn't listen.

"Anthony, get your ass in here at once!"

Anthony came slowly out of the hall, and looked between us worriedly. "What's going on?"

"Go pack up your room, we're going home," Tanya said emotionlessly.

"Home? Like to Forks?" he asked confused. "But I have school and hockey practice."

"Are you back talking me?" she asked him irately.

"No. I just don't want to move back to Forks. Dad, I thought you liked it here?" Anthony asked me upset.

"I do. Look buddy, that's what we need to talk to you about," I told him softly.

"Your dad is abandoning us," Tanya said abruptly.

"Huh?" Anthony asked.

"Your dad decided he'd rather be with other women then stay with his family," Tanya said heartlessly.

"Tanya, you have no right to say that," I told her angrily. I wanted to ring her fucking neck, but cursing at her wasn't something I was willing to do in front of Anthony, no matter how hard she pushed me.

"Well, it's true. Anthony, your dad can't handle us anymore, so you and I are leaving, and he's going to stay here so he can party all the time."

"Dad?" Anthony asked me worriedly.

"No, buddy, don't listen to her, ok. You know I love you more than anything, but your mom and I are separating. She wants to take you back to Forks for now, but we'll talk more about you staying here with me as soon as we can," I told him as gently as possible.

"Oh, is that supposed to make him feel better?" Tanya said deviously. "Don't worry Anthony, mommy's home now and you don't have to worry about being here with him anymore. Now, go get your things."

"I don't want to leave," he said starting to get even more worked up. "I like it here, and I want to stay with dad."

"No. You are a child, and you belong with me," she told him strongly. "If you don't go to your room and get your stuff right now, we'll leave without them."

"Dad, tell her no!" Anthony yelled at me. I absolutely hated what was happening, but I knew Tanya wouldn't leave without a fight, so I figured it would be best if he went with her for the time being, that way I could focus all my attention on getting custody.

"Bud, just go with mom for now, and I'll bring you back here as soon as I can. I promise," I assured him.

"It's not fair. I hate both of you! I wish Aunt Bella would have just taken me to Vegas with her!" he cried and then ran off to his room.

Without even looking at her, I could feel Tanya's furious glare on me.

"You son of a bitch," she said hatefully. "How dare you bring that druggie near my son?"

"Oh, give it a rest Tanya," I said annoyed.

"Edward, you have no idea what that monster is capable of. She's dangerous, not only to herself, but to everyone around her. Where the hell do you think she gets her drugs from anyway, huh? She screws whoever is willing to give them to her, and I really hope for your sake that you used protection when you fucked her."

"Oh, fuck you Tanya!" I snapped. "You don't know shit about her. You're just a psychotic bitch that hasn't done anything good in your life. The worst thing I ever did was marry you, but I'm not going to continue to make that mistake. Now, get your fucking shit, and get the hell out of my condo!"

"I can't believe you would call our family a _mistake_. See Anthony, he doesn't want us here," she said with a false hurt tone. I turned around quickly and saw Anthony standing there with tears streaming down his face.

"No, buddy, that's not what I meant," I said and went over to hug him, but he pushed me away and ran past me out the front door.

"You should really learn to watch your mouth," Tanya said with a smirk. It took every ounce of self control that I had, to not snap her fucking neck. Had she been a man, I would have punched her so hard that it would have put her in a coma for a week. I never hated anyone more, and I knew I never would either. I would do whatever it took to get full custody of Anthony and to get that bitch out of our lives once and for all.

I followed Anthony out to Tanya's car, but he locked me out and had the windows rolled up.

"Anthony, buddy, I'm sorry," I told him through the glass.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled at me.

"Step aside," Tanya said as she walked up to the car.

"I swear to god Tanya, if you talk shit about me to him, you'll regret it," I warned her.

"Is that a threat Edward?" she asked mockingly.

"No, it's a fucking promise," I told her.

"You know what Edward, after almost a decade of marriage, I would have thought that you would know that I never lose. I always come out on top, and this is no different."

"I really hate you," I told her honestly.

"We could have had a good life together. We could have been happy," she said with a gentler tone.

"Fuck you," I said spitefully.

She smirked again, and then got in her car before driving off with my son. It had to have been one of the worst days of my life. Bella disappeared again, and then the wicked witch took my kid from me. I just didn't understand how my life could have taken such a drastic left turn. I knew Tanya would give me a hard time about the divorce, but without Bella, I started forgetting what the purpose was.

I spent the rest of the day and the entire night fighting myself. A big part of me wanted to go after Tanya and tell her I changed my mind. I didn't love her, never had, never would, but at least I got to be with Anthony every day. If I called off the divorce, Anthony wouldn't have to leave the school he liked or the hockey team he loved. I would be there to be on his side when Tanya was bitching about something, and I'd make sure he was as happy as possible. But at the same time, life couldn't continue the way it was. I loathed Tanya, and I was positive Anthony felt that. Some people were better apart, and I only hoped that with time, Tanya would accept that.

The next day, I called Jasper's friend Garrett. He was a divorce lawyer, and I was hoping he'd give me some kind of advice on how to proceed.

"Well, usually the court sides with the mother," Garrett informed me.

"I know. So, do I have any options at all?" I asked hopelessly.

"After the divorce is finalized, it could help if you were married to someone else. Providing a stable environment for your son is the most important thing to any judge," he explained. "You probably still wouldn't be granted full custody, but it may persuade the judge to allow your son to live with you."

That was exactly what I wanted. Even though Tanya was like a disease, she was still Anthony's mother and I didn't want her completely removed from his life; I just wanted him to live with me on a daily basis. But I knew I was definitely not ready to get remarried right away, so that was out. If Bella didn't leave and I could trust her to stay clean, then marriage was something I'd want with her eventually, but rushing into something would have just been wrong.

I filed the divorce papers and the suit for custody, but it was still difficult for me. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was just scared for Anthony. I tried to call Anthony on the phone every day, but he was still hurt by my words, and he was extremely distant. I felt like all the progress we made while Tanya was in Italy, was sucked out of him the moment he went back to Forks. I spent a lot of time hating myself for that, but I kept hoping that the custody battle would go my way and we could get it back.

It was a long drawn out process, and as the weeks dragged on, the loneliness I felt was overwhelming. Whenever I wasn't stressing over Anthony, I was worrying about Bella. I wondered where she was, and I prayed she was safe. I thought about that saying '_If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was_'; but whoever wrote that obviously never experienced what it felt like to have someone they love that deeply, just take off like it was nothing, because it fucking hurt like hell.

I sometimes found myself getting angry at Bella for leaving me. Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, '_It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all'_; well I say 'fuck you Alfred and your fucking ideals'. Losing Bella hurt like hell and I wished she never come back into my life.

But the anger never lasted long, mostly I just wanted her to be happy and I hoped that she found that wherever she was. For whatever reason, she felt like she needed to leave, and as much as I wanted to go and find her, I knew that she had to want to be with me too; otherwise it would be no better than my relationship with Tanya. But without Bella and Anthony, everything just felt pointless. I just didn't understand what the hell I was supposed to do with myself.

"What's this?" Jasper asked one day as I went into his office and handed him a piece of paper.

"It's my resignation letter," I told him feeling defeated.

"Uh…ok. Why?" Jasper asked confused.

"I can't stay here. Anthony is three hours away and I rarely get to see him anymore. I just need to be living in the same town as him, at the very least," I explained.

Jasper pressed his lips together and nodded in understanding. "Why don't we do this; there's a convention in Chicago next weekend, and if you go and be my 'pitch guy', I'll keep you on the pay role. You can live in Forks or wherever the hell, and just go on these trips when I need you. What do you say?"

"Man, I can't ask you to do that for me," I said incredulously.

"I wanted to ask you to do that already, but I thought you needed to stay here for Anthony. But, if you can't see him everyday anyway, then this could actually be a good thing," Jasper said with a supportive smile.

"Thanks. You saved me again," I told him while shaking his hand.

"Eh, you saved my life in Iraq, so we're hardly even," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, you're right. But if you want to give me the entire business we can call it even," I said jokingly.

"My life's not worth it," he said with a laugh.

"You're probably right," I agreed teasingly.

It had been a month and a half since Tanya and I separated, and there was still nothing resolved. Anthony was back at Forks Elementary and I only saw him on the weekends, and it just wasn't enough for me. But with Jasper's job opportunity, I could move back to Forks to be closer to him, and still have a place at the company if I was ever able to move to Seattle with Anthony again. It was the best thing I could hope for at the time.

I called Anthony to tell him that I was going on a trip and would be back as soon as I could, but again, he was angry with me so I could tell he wasn't really listening. I hated going out of state knowing he was mad, but I was planning for our future and I knew how important it was.

I was gone for four days, and I hated every minute of it. The convention itself actually wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in such a dejected mood, but my life had completely fallen apart and it was hard to think around that.

After flying back into Seattle, and going straight into the office to do the work that needed to be done from the convention, I planned to go back to my condo and start packing, but that's when I got a frantic phone call from Emmett.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked because of his strange tone.

"You have to get down here bro, it's an emergency."

"I'm on my way, what's wrong?" I asked in a panic thinking Anthony had gotten hurt somehow.

"Anthony is missing," Emmett said sadly.

"Missing? What the hell do you mean, he's missing?" I asked as my body had a physical reaction from the news. It felt like someone had kicked me in the gut because it was my worst fear realized. Tanya and I were divorcing and something happened to put Anthony in harm's way. It was like déjà vu from when I was a kid, except I finally understood what it was like for my dad when I had disappeared. _What the hell was I doing in Seattle so far from him anyway?_

I drove to Forks as fast as possible, completely ignoring the speed limit. At that point, being wrapped around a tree would feel better than the agony of knowing my son was missing. I pulled up to the police station and didn't even turn off my car before jumping out and running inside.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked anyone who was listening. The small police station was full of people, mostly friends and family. The Swans were there of course, along with Emmett and our other acquaintances. Half the town was there to try to help look for my son.

"Right now, we're just not sure," Charlie said as he came out of the crowd.

"How the hell can you be 'not sure'?" I asked incredulously. "How does a kid just vanish?" I knew that was an irrational question, kids vanished all the time all over the world, but I'd be damned if my kid was one of those who never got found. I would look in ever fucking house in the country if I had to.

"Now, it's possible that he got lost in the woods. We're setting up teams to search the mountain right now. We already have people going door to door with flyers. We will find him son, I promise," Charlie told me with conviction.

"How the hell do you know that, Charlie?" I asked angrily. "He could be in Canada by now for all we know."

"Edward, we found you when you were lost at his age, and we'll find him too," Charlie tried assuring me. I had completely forgotten that I was Anthony's age when I had my incident with the freak my mom had been dating, so I just became even more terrified for my son.

"What if that Aro jackass got out of jail and kidnapped him as payback?" I asked Charlie terrified.

"Edward, I already called the prison that Aro is at, and he's still there. I've issued an Amber Alert so if anyone sees a boy matching his description they will call in. We'll find him, I swear."

"How long has he been missing for?" I asked, trying to calm down so I could think clearly. Perhaps he was just hiding somewhere and I needed the facts so I could see if there were any clues.

"Tanya?" Charlie asked her.

She sighed, and then came to stand next to me. "He wanted to walk to the bus station alone, so I let him go. I didn't know he was missing until he didn't come home this afternoon. I called the school and they said he never showed up there, so he had to have gone missing between home and the bus stop," she explained slowly.

"So, let me get this straight," I said as calmly as possible. "You are way overbearing with him in every aspect of his life, except the one time you should have been with him?" I asked.

"Edward, I…"she started to say, but I was so furious that I didn't want to hear it.

"What the hell kind of mother are you? Why would you let him walk to the bus alone?" I asked getting louder with each word I spoke. "You did this; this is your fault. I hope your proud of yourself, you selfish…"

"Now, hold on!" Charlie butted in strongly. "Damn it Edward, I feel for what you're going through, God knows I love that boy more than anything, but blaming Tanya isn't the answer. A lot of the kids walk to the bus stop alone, she didn't do anything wrong here."

"You know what Charlie," I exploded. "You have no idea what kind of poor excuse of a mother Tanya is. I've had to bite my tongue for the past decade, but I refuse to do it anymore. She doesn't give a shit about him; in fact, she's probably hoping we don't find him!"

"I may have not been the best mother to him, but you have no right to say that I don't give a shit about him," Tanya said with tears rolling down her face. "I didn't always show it, but I loved him very much."

"Loved? You already think he's dead? What the hell did you do Tanya? Did you hurt him and then tell everyone that he just went missing. You fucking bitch, WHERE IS MY SON?" I jumped forward at her, but Emmett grabbed me from behind, and Charlie got between us.

"I swear to you Edward, I don't know where he is," Tanya said hysterically.

"If I find out that you've hurt him, I'll kill you. I swear to god, I'll kill you and no one will be able to stop me," I threatened her.

"Woo, buddy, you need to calm down," Emmett told me while still restraining me.

"Fuck off!" I yelled at him and shoved him off of me. I couldn't stop my anger, I was so scared and beyond enraged, that if there wasn't a room full of people between us, I would have killed Tanya right then and there. It didn't matter if she was the one who actually hurt him or not, I was positive that she was at fault. If she would have just let him stay with me, if she would have just been less of a bitch to everyone, then Anthony wouldn't be missing. I wouldn't have even been surprised if it turned out that she pissed someone off to the point that they took out their revenge on Anthony. Perhaps it was a scorned wife of one of her lovers, or someone that she belittled to the point of humiliation. Tanya was definitely responsible in one way or another, I was sure of it.

"Edward, if I need to put you in a cell to calm you down, then that's what I'll do," Charlie told me sternly. "I will not have you threatening Tanya or anyone else. Do you understand me?"

I thought about it for an intense minute, and seriously considered telling Charlie to go to hell before wrestling his gun away from him and using it on Tanya, but then I took a deep breath and nodded. The last thing Anthony needed was for me to get arrested. But I knew that if it was discovered that Tanya did do something to him, I wouldn't hesitate to take her out.

"We're all anxious here son, and we need to work together," Charlie said soothingly. "Now, I hate to do this, but I need to ask you some questions."

"What?" I asked stunned.

"It's just standard procedure, we did the same with Tanya," he explained.

"Tanya was with him!" I yelled again. "I've been three hours away since this morning, and before that, I was in a different state!"

"I know, like I said, it's just standard procedure," Charlie repeated.

"This is ridiculous. I need to be out looking for him, not answering your damn questions about my exact whereabouts every minute of the fucking day," I said irately.

I grudgingly sat in the small room with Charlie and his deputy, and gave them my alibi. I knew Charlie didn't really think I'd hurt my son, but he didn't think Tanya would either, so I guess if her getting questioned meant I had to be too, then it was worth it.

"Anytime a child goes missing we have to question the parents, but when a custody battle is happening at the same time, it puts the parents at the top of the list," Charlie explained apologetically.

"I understand Charlie, and I'm sorry for losing control out there," I told him.

"Don't you think that I want to ignore all this proper protocol shit?" Charlie asked me with a shaky voice. "But if I lose myself then I can't do my job, and doing my job is the best chance we have at finding him."

I nodded, and then we finished all the formalities.

I had never been so scared in my entire life, but as the hours became days, I started to lose hope and I knew I wouldn't be able to go on without him. After he had been missing a week, I thought I was going to go insane with grief, but then finally, there was a lead….

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><p><strong>AHHH!<strong>

**Please Review ;)**


	7. Taken

**She Will Be Loved**

A/N: Wow, most people had the same theory about what happened to Anthony, but I will tell you this now, Anthony did NOT run away….does that mean you were all wrong, or could it mean that you were only _partially_ wrong? Read on to find out.

This chapter is definitely the climax of the story and has been planned since the beginning, answers about Bella's past will be revealed. Everything has been leading up to this chapter, which is why I keep saying that this story won't be long. Everything else will just be the fallout from these events.

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><p>~Chapter 7 – <em>Taken<em>~  
>EPOV<p>

My life was completely meaningless without Anthony; my entire adult life had revolved around him, so without him, I was nothing. I couldn't eat, and I only slept when I was so tired that my body shutdown, usually it was in whatever chair I had been sitting in.

"Edward, if you don't eat, you won't be able to stay strong for Anthony," Tanya said hesitantly. Over the past few days, Tanya had actually played the role of _scared shitless mother of a missing child_ quite well, I almost believed her. She had been at the police station almost the entire time, and she didn't even worry about showering regularly or doing her hair and makeup. Even when no one was around to see her act, Tanya was visibly distraught over the entire thing. I even saw her crying when she didn't know I was around to see her.

"I can't eat. What if he's not being fed wherever he is? How could I eat when he's starving somewhere?" I asked without looking back up at her.

"You don't know he's starving," she said quietly.

"It's been days, Tanya. Where could he be?" I asked feeling hopeless. "Whoever took him didn't do it to give him a better life. He's hurt, and scared, and I just can't handle that."

Tears rolled down Tanya's cheeks again, and I could actually see the pain in her eyes. Tanya was a lot of things, but I knew in that moment that she had nothing to do with Anthony's disappearance and loved him deep down.

"Edward, I'm so sorry…for everything. I was so wrapped up in myself that I never gave him the mother he deserved. I don't even remember the last time that I told him that I love him. What if I never get that chance? What if we don't find him and he never knows how much he really means to me."

"It's not the words that count," I told her. "It's the actions. You can't just tell him that you love him but then put the whole town before him. He needs to feel it Tanya, and I doubt he ever has from you," I told her calmly. I was done yelling and being angry with her, I just didn't have enough energy to waste on it. I knew she was upset, but I also wouldn't sit there and listen to her feeling sorry for herself either. She made her bed, and she would have to live with it for the rest of her life.

"I know, I just hope I'll have the chance to make it up to him," she said softly and then walked back to the area she had been sitting in.

By that time, Anthony's disappearance made the local headlines, and there was even talk about it briefly on the national news; it wasn't everyday that a police chief's grandson went missing.

Most of the time, every inch of me was consumed with physical pain caused by my terror for my son, but the more time that went on, the more numb I became until I started feeling entirely hallow inside, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. People kept telling me about cases of kids who were kidnapped but later found after years being gone, but that didn't give me any comfort. I couldn't survive years without him; it just wouldn't happen for me.

"Edward, I wanted to talk to you about issuing a reward for his safe return," Charlie said to me one day.

"Really? Do you think that will help?" I asked with a spark of renewed hope.

"Well, it couldn't hurt. It's possible that there will be a lot more false leads if the prize his high enough, but it'll also get people to open their eyes more."

I nodded. "Let's do it," I told him.

"How much do you want to offer? Now, you have to be prepared to pay if someone comes forward. Renee and I can take out a second mortgage on our house to add to it, but I'm afraid it won't be much."

"Thanks Charlie, but I think we can cover it," I said while looking at Tanya. Putting out a good size reward meant that she would have to add some of my alimony money, but she never hesitated. She understood what I was asking her, and she nodded in agreement.

We set the reward and then hoped for a miracle. I didn't leave the station often, but when I did my heart just ached all the more from seeing the flyers for my son all over the town. But after a long torturous week with no word, finally, there was a lead…

"What's going on?" I asked as I came back to the station and everyone was buzzing about something.

Charlie's face looked like it had aged a good ten years since Anthony went missing, but the expression on his face at that moment made him look twenty years older.

"A woman just showed up and said that she's seen Anthony….in Nevada," Charlie explained.

"Nevada, as in Vegas?" I asked in shock.

Charlie put his hands forward to try to stop me from coming to the wrong conclusion. "Now, she said that it was a few days ago, and she only _thinks _that it was him. This could be just another reward seeker, we don't know yet."

"Where is she, I want to talk to her," I said quickly. I didn't want to think what I was thinking, but I couldn't help it. Anthony was mad at both me and Tanya, so it was possible that he somehow found his way to Vegas to look for Bella. I could only hope that was the case, because it meant that no one tried to hurt him. I doubted he could find Bella however, the city was far too big and I would probably have a hard time finding her myself, so there was no way a ten year old could do it. But hopefully someone saw him and helped him out a bit, and he somehow managed to take care of himself.

"She flew here instead of contacting her local authorities, because she thought that's how it was done," Charlie warned me. The woman was obviously an idiot, but I didn't care as long as she had some real information.

Charlie led me to the room she had been waiting in, and I noticed that she was extremely…made up. She was obviously a dancer, and not the ballet type.

"Ms. Denali, this is the child's father, Edward Masen," Charlie said formally. "Edward, this is Irina Denali."

"Irina Denali? Is that your real name?" Tanya asked me from behind. I didn't even know she had followed us in there, but I didn't really care either.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" the woman replied bitterly.

"Nothing," Tanya said under her breath. "Charlie, this woman obviously just wants the reward," she told him.

"She hasn't even said anything yet. Give her a chance," Charlie said to Tanya.

"Look, I saw the kid, ok. He was with one of the dancers," Irina said while chewing on a piece of bubble gum.

"Which dancer?" I asked seriously hoping Bella hadn't become a striper while she's been gone.

"Her name was…Janis. No wait, maybe her name was Jenna, Jill, I don't know, something with a J. Actually, she may have really been a drag queen."

"Wait, Jaclyn?" I asked feeling a sense of hope that I hadn't felt in what seemed like an extremely long time.

"Yeah, that's it," Irina said happily.

"Tall, tanned skin, dark hair?" I asked her quickly to be sure.

"Yeah…wait no, I think she was blonde. But it was a wig so who knows what his color really is," Irina said, proud of herself. "So, do I get the reward?"

"You know a drag queen named Jaclyn?" Charlie asked me incredulously.

"No…Yes…it's a long story," I told him anxiously.

"Did you do something to that…man to make him angry with you and want to take Anthony?" Charlie asked me slowly.

"No. He…she…whatever is a friend of Bella's," I explained shakily.

"Bella, my daughter?" Charlie asked surprised.

"I knew it!" Tanya yelled, letting her bitchy side resurface. "That selfish bitch, she took Anthony."

"Just wait a minute," Charlie said sternly. "We don't have any facts yet. I'll call the Las Vegas PD and put out an APB. We're not going to make any assumptions until we talk to Bella."

"If Anthony is with Bella, it's because he ran away from you!" I said to Tanya angrily. Our terrified cease fire had ended, and we were back to the malicious battle that had been waging between us since we first got married.

We all spent the next few hours anxiously awaiting any news, and I just kept praying that Anthony found his way to Bella. Finally, just before they were about to call it a day, the LVPD called….they found Anthony.

Charlie, Renee, Tanya, and I were on the next flight to Vegas, but unfortunately with the late hour, we wouldn't arrive until the next morning. We were all physically exhausted and emotionally drained, but despite the hell week we had just been through, I immediately felt light with relief and overjoyed from knowing that my son was ok.

We were informed that Anthony was cleared medically, so social services would come and take him for the night, and then bring him to the police station in the morning to meet us. When we finally got there, I ran through the door and just stared for a moment after seeing him. _Was he really there, and safe? Was it all really over?_

"Hi dad," he said excitedly with a smile. He looked like he had been eating candy, and I had never seen the clothes he had on before, but I didn't care about anything other than the fact that he was there. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him tightly, kissed his hair, and wondered if I'd actually ever let him go again. I could finally breathe again, and my heart finally began beating for the first time since Emmett called me to say he was missing. Nothing else mattered in that minute, Anthony was ok, so my world could begin spinning again.

"Dad, you're kind of choking me," Anthony mumbled as I held him securely.

"Sorry buddy," I said with a smile and a tear rolling down my face.

"Why are you crying?" he asked confused.

I laughed once, "you were missing, I thought I'd never see you again," I told him while sniffling.

Tanya scooted around me to hug him as well, and then Charlie and Renee took their turns. We were all crying…except for Anthony, who just looked puzzled.

After we calmed down, Anthony looked back at me. "Dad, why did you think I was missing?" he asked strangely.

"You disappeared. Your mother thought you were at school when you left. How could you run away like that?" I asked him, thankful he was ok, but upset that he would do such a thing.

"I didn't run away," he said taking me aback.

"What do you mean? How did you get here then?" I asked.

"I was on my way to the bus for school, and Aunt Bella pulled up in a car and asked if I wanted to go with her on vacation. I told her that I had to ask my mom first, but she said she already did and that it was ok," Anthony explained.

I was in complete shock. If Anthony was telling the truth, which I was fairly certain he was, it meant that Bella actually _kidnapped_ him. I looked behind me at Tanya and her parents, and they had a mix of emotions riding on their faces. Tanya looked pissed, Renee looked ashamed, and Charlie looked heartbroken; but strangely enough, none of them seemed particularly surprised.

But I just didn't understand why Bella would do something like that? She didn't want to be with us, she left, and never called or wrote. I knew Bella and Anthony had become close over the week she stayed with us, but if she really wanted Anthony for whatever reason, she could have just stayed in Seattle. It just didn't make sense, and I needed to get to the bottom of it.

Anthony had already been checked out by a doctor, but there was still a ton of paperwork to fill out, so by the time it was finished, Anthony was exhausted.

"Dad, I've been here all day, can we leave?" Anthony asked with a yawn.

"It's too late tonight, but we'll go home tomorrow," I told him and then draped my arm over his shoulder and lead him out the door. We went to the closest hotel, and Anthony fell asleep in the taxi on the way over. Tanya and I agreed to stay together because we both refused to be separated from Anthony at that time, but it was a strained coexistence when Anthony was sleeping.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Tanya asked quietly.

"About what?" I asked coldly.

"Come on Edward, you know what. Bella kidnapped our son and you have nothing to say about it?"

"I don't know what to fucking say about it," I said bitterly. "I don't know what to think, or how to move forward with it all. It doesn't make sense; Bella just wouldn't do something like that."

"So, you think Anthony is lying?" she asked incredulously.

"No. But Bella had to have a reason, maybe Anthony is just confused about it all," I tried convincing myself.

"She's had a lot of issues for a long time Edward, she's even had mental problems. I mean, if she was on some kind of drug induced delusion, maybe she convinced herself that Anthony should be with her," Tanya said quietly.

"Bella had issues with drugs, and she's bipolar, but…" I said shaking my head. It didn't matter what Bella had done to herself, I just couldn't picture her purposely taking Anthony knowing her sister and I would be scared shitless.

"Edward, I didn't want to tell you this, but…Bella was obsessed with you before you enlisted in the military. When she found out that I was going to have your baby, she went crazy. She threatened to kill me and said that one day she'd show me what it felt like to lose you. Edward, don't you see? She's been planning this for a really long time. She spent time with you and Anthony when I was in Italy because she wanted Anthony to trust her enough to go with her. She just wanted him because he was yours and it would hurt me. She manipulated you, and she'd say just about anything to get you to believe whatever asinine story she comes up with."

"I don't believe that," I said unconvincingly. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I was definitely having some doubts about Bella. We had several perfect days together, but everything else was just chaotic madness. She destroyed my house in one minute, and the next she was smiling at photographs. She overdosed seemingly on purpose, but then she seemed extremely happy a few days later. I understood that could have all been part of being bipolar, but something told me that it was much more than that.

"Well, my dad's going to go talk to her in the morning," Tanya said hesitantly. "And he should be able to get some answers.

"Going where?" I asked. "They know where she is?" My heart picked up speed and I actually started to tremble with anticipation realizing that Bella was so close. Anthony had said he was with her, but I guess I didn't put that together with the fact that I'd get to see her again too. It was too late to go and see her right then, so I decided to go first thing in the morning before we left for home.

I slept in the queen sized bed with Anthony, and Tanya slept in the other room, but as soon as the sun came up, I was getting ready to go see Bella.

"Where are you going?" Tanya asked me when she noticed I was already dressed. Our flight home wasn't until that afternoon, so she wasn't sure where I was going.

"To get coffee," I lied. "Please tell Anthony I'll be right back." I really didn't give a shit what Tanya thought, but at the same time, I didn't want to hear her bitching about it either.

I wasn't exactly sure where Bella was at that point, so I waited outside Charlie's room hoping to catch him, and I did.

"Edward, what are you doing out so early? I was sure I wouldn't see you leave Anthony's side again until he turns thirty," Charlie said jokingly.

"Tanya mentioned that you were going to see Bella today, and I want to go too," I told him.

"Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea," he told me quickly.

"Why not?" I asked suspiciously.

"Does Tanya know you're planning to see Bella?" he asked strangely.

"No, but I really wouldn't give a shit if she did. Tanya and I are divorcing, she can't rule my life anymore," I told him.

I refused to let Charlie talk me out of it, and the fact that he was trying to, just made me want to go all the more. When we pulled up at the police station, I was actually surprised to be there. I didn't know why, but I wasn't expecting Bella to be arrested, though I guess that would make sense if they thought she kidnapped Anthony. But I absolutely hated the idea of Bella spending the night in a jail cell, and I planned on getting the whole thing straightened out as soon as possible.

"She can only have one visitor at a time," a deputy said to Charlie and me.

Charlie huffed and then looked at me considerately. "Go ahead son, I'm sure you have questions for her. Just…remember that she's probably hasn't had it easy," Charlie said to me oddly. I wanted to question him further, but I decided it could wait until after I talked to Bella.

I followed the deputy to the jail cells, and then he stood quietly in the corner of the room. The cold but stuffy room consisted of four holding cells, all of which were empty, except one.

"Bella?" I said quietly. She was sitting in her cell on the cot, but then turned to look at me.

"Edward," she said surprised. "How's Anthony, is he ok, did the police scare him?" she asked concerned while standing and coming to grab onto the bars that separated us.

"He's fine," I said softly. I had such a rush of mixed emotions from seeing her at that moment. I hated that she was behind bars and the reason why she was there, but she looked the healthiest that I remembered seeing her since she was a teenager. It had only been a few months since I saw her last, and she definitely put on weight and there was even a subtle glow about her, though it could have just been in my imagination. "What happened?" I asked her.

She took a deep breath. "I just took him," she said emotionlessly. I stared at her stunned for a minute; I didn't know what I expected her to say, but it definitely wasn't that.

"Why?" I asked breathlessly.

Bella smiled, but her eyes were distant. "Because," was all she said before letting go of the bars and going back to sit on the cot. I knew that look from her, it meant she wasn't going to say anymore, and for the first time that I could remember, I found myself actually becoming truly angry at Bella. I had spent the past week in hell, and she had nothing else to say about it? That was also the first time that I saw similarities in Tanya's and Bella's behavior. Bella just didn't care.

"What the hell kind of answer is that, Bella?" I asked upset. She didn't respond, she just stared blankly at the wall in front of her. I wondered if Tanya was actually right about her; _did Bella really have mental issues. _

"This is fucking ridiculous," I said to myself. "I love you, do you know that Bella?" I asked her suddenly. I didn't even think before I said it, but as the words came out of my mouth, I knew exactly where I was going with it. She looked at me confused, as if those words from me were a foreign language or something. "Not just the friendly family sort of love. I'm _in love_ with you, and for the life of me, I just don't know how to get through to you. I don't understand you whatsoever, it's like you live in a different world than everyone else and I just can't reach you."

"You're right," Bella said softly. "I do live in a different world, one that I can't seem to get back to. This wasn't how my life was supposed to be, I wasn't supposed to end up like this."

"How were you supposed to end up then?" I asked her slowly, hoping that she wouldn't shut down again. If there was any chance of her finally opening up, that was definitely it.

"I already told you," she said distantly.

"You wanted to be with me," I said remembering what she told me when I had her locked in the Forks house. "But Bella, we were together. Why did you leave if you wanted to be with me?" I asked confused.

"It's not that simple," she said and then seemed like she was going to stop talking again.

"Then explain it to me," I said frustrated.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said flatly.

"Damn it, Bella. You took my son, and I deserve to know why!" I said aggravated.

"I didn't take him from _you_, I TOOK HIM FROM HER!" she yelled back. "She has done nothing but take what's mine, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I wasn't going to let her have him for one more day, so I took him and I had no intention of ever bringing him back."

"How could you do that?" I asked appalled. Tanya was right for once in her life; Bella did take Anthony to make her suffer and I had no idea what to do about that. "Tanya may be a shitty mother, but she loves him in her own way, and you have no right to take a child from his parent. …"

"She's NOT HIS MOTHER!" Bella screamed. "Everything has always been about Tanya, whatever Tanya wants, Tanya gets. She tried to get pregnant, did you know that? She used to poke holes in your fucking condoms, I caught her doing it. When she didn't get pregnant, she went to the doctor and learned she couldn't have kids."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, interrupting her.

"Right before you graduated high school. She knew you were going to want to end things with her, she knew you wanted to move to New York and she couldn't handle it. She tried to get pregnant, but it didn't work so she stole that baby to trap you with her."

I laughed once humorlessly. I really didn't want to laugh though, I actually wanted to fall to my knees and cry for my lost love. Bella was insane, she was delusional to the point where she actually believed what she was saying. My heart broke for her, and despite everything, I wanted nothing more than to get her help. She didn't belong in jail, she needed to be in a hospital someplace where she could get the proper medications to clear her head.

"I'm not lying to you, Edward," she said hopelessly.

"You're not?" I asked incredulously.

"I swear. Look at me Edward," she demanded when I started to look away in disbelief. "You said I was your best friend remember? You said you loved me…If you don't believe me, then who will?" she asked desperately.

"I do love you," I told her, feeling like my chest was ripping open. "But what you're telling me is crazy. Tanya couldn't have stolen Anthony, people saw her pregnant."

"She faked it," Bella said with a tear rolling down her cheek. I hated the look on her face, the hurt there was immeasurable and I wanted nothing more than to hold her until the pain went away, but I just couldn't accept what she was saying.

"Bella, please stop this," I whispered.

"Tanya faked her pregnancy, she wore one of those strap on bellies that you can get at the maternity clothing stores. She faked it Edward, and then she stole him…"

"That's not possible. Someone would have found out, she would have gotten caught," I tried reasoning with her."

"My parents helped her. They covered it up," she said getting even more upset.

"Why are you saying this, Bella?" I asked feeling defeated. I had just had the worst week of my life, and knowing that Bella was lost in her delusions made it even worse. "Anthony looks just like me, everyone says it," I told her slowly hoping she would stop with the lies. "If Tanya stole Anthony, then he wouldn't look like me."

"I never said he wasn't yours," she said calmly, looking me straight in the eye.

"How is that possible?" I asked her desperately. "How could he be mine and not hers?"

"Because he's mine," she said completely flabbergasting me.

"Bella…"

"I loved you more than anything…"

"Bella, you have to stop this. I never had sex with you back then, so what you're saying is impossible," I tried telling her, but she wouldn't listen.

"You were leaving for boot camp, and I wanted to give you the gift I bought you, but I couldn't find you because there were so many people at the house. Tanya was throwing that party and everyone was drunk."

"Bella YOU NEED TO STOP!" I yelled.

"NO! I've held this in for too long, and I'm not going to do it anymore," she said forcefully. "You wanted me to tell you what happened to me, well that's what I'm doing. You were drunk off your ass at that fucking party and you thought I was her. I was in her bed because there were people fucking in my room, and you went in there and stumbled your way to me, and then you fucked me."

"You're sick, you know that," I said frantically in disbelief. "You really need help."

My lack of faith in her made her extremely angry, and she exploded. "I cried for a fucking week straight after that. It hurt like hell but I was so in love with you that I didn't even care, but then you were just gone afterwards. I was so freaked out that I didn't talk to anyone for days. I realized that I was pregnant a few months later, but I hid it because I was too scared to tell anyone. When my parents finally found out, it was too late for an abortion, but leave it to my _loving older sister_ to have the perfect fucking solution. They didn't even ask me; I gave birth to him and they gave him right to her, as if I was nothing but a fucking incubator. They said if I ever told anyone, you would go to jail for statutory rape, so for almost eleven years now, I kept my fucking mouth shut."

I felt sick. It was like my entire world just came crashing down right there on the jail room floor. I couldn't think, I couldn't even breathe. I seriously started to feel like I was going to suffocate, so I panicked and turned to escape…

"Edward wait!" she called after me, but I didn't want to wait, I needed to talk to Tanya or Charlie; I needed them to prove that what Bella was saying was a lie. It had to have been a lie, because there was no way in hell that I would have ever hurt her like that, she was only a fucking child back then. There wasn't a person in the world that I cared about more than her at that time, and I refused to believe that she was tortured in that way and I was the bastard who did it. I wasn't one of those sick monsters that went around raping little girls, I would have rather killed myself then to do something like that.

I banged on the door so the guard would let me out, but then Bella said the one thing that would make me pause in that moment. "I'm pregnant."

I turned back to her slowly, not sure if I actually believed anything she said anymore, but I knew I couldn't leave until I heard what she was going to say then. "You said you were on birth control?" I said in denial.

"I was, but…I had just OD'd before that, and maybe the meds that they gave me counteracted it….maybe I knew all along that it wasn't effective, maybe I _wanted_ to get pregnant. I've walked around like an empty shell for so long, getting high to numb the pain of losing him, of losing both of you, but that wound just wouldn't heal. I thought seeing him would make it better, but it didn't. I spent that week hoping that I'd be able to move on with my life knowing he was happy and loved, but it just made me ache for him even more. I thought that if I got pregnant again it could fill that void, but after coming here to Vegas and knowing for sure that I was pregnant, I just knew I needed to go back. I decided that I would tell you about the baby, and at least that way, I could still be a part of Anthony's life."

"Five more minutes," a deputy said to us. I didn't look at the officer when he spoke, I just continued to stare at Bella, and nothing would make me move until I heard everything.

"I went back to Seattle, but your neighbors said you moved back to wherever you came from, so I figured that meant Forks. So I went to your house there, and Tanya answered the door. She told me that you weren't there, she said you reenlisted in the military for four more years of active duty."

"What?" I fumed.

"I just couldn't stomach the idea of that woman raising my baby alone for the next four years. At least when you were there, you took care of him," Bella said while starting to cry again. "I saw Anthony at that bus stop and I just… I swear, I never wanted to hurt you. I thought you left, I would have never taken him from you."

We stared at each other intensely for an endless moment. My mind was everywhere, and yet I couldn't focus on a single thought. She had said so much that I just had no idea what to take from any of it. They were all just words at that point, I needed a minute to breathe and digest everything before I could really understand any of it.

The deputy came back and just stood there suggestively, waiting for me to follow him out.

"Edward, please, I need you to do something for me," she said quickly.

I couldn't find my voice to speak in that moment, but I waited for her to say what she needed.

"It doesn't matter that I gave birth to Anthony, I didn't have custody of him and I took him across state lines without permission. That's a federal offense, which means I'm going to be in here for a long time. I'm not going to be able to tell him that I'm sorry, or that I love him," her voice broke as she spoke and the strain in her tone was heavy as she tried to finish what she had to say. "Anthony will never know that I'm his mother, but someday he'll understand that bringing him to Vegas was wrong, so can you please just tell him how…_unbelievably_ sorry I am. I never got to be there for him, and now I won't be there for this baby either. I screwed everything up, and I just need you to tell both of my babies that I love them more than anything. Please Edward, even if you don't really do it, just tell me that you will. Tell me that you'll make sure they know that I never wanted to be away from them. I'm so sorry Edward, for everything."

She waited for me to say the words she needed to hear, but my hesitation was too long, and she broke down and started to cry harder. She sunk down to the dirty floor of her cell, and buried her face in her hands.

"Bella," I said and kneeled down before reaching through the bars to try to hold her, but she was beyond my reach and was too upset to notice. Trying to comfort her was a natural reaction from me, I couldn't resist; her pain was my pain, and seeing her that upset was pure torture.

"Come on Buddy, you need to leave now. You took both your time and the guy's after you, so now you need to go," the deputy said forcefully.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. Look at her," I told him desperately. "Let me in there, I need to help her."

"I will take you out of here forcefully if I have to, and then you'll be arrested yourself."

"Fine, arrest me and put me in there with her," I told him.

"Edward, don't," Bella said brokenly through her tears. "Please just don't make Anthony be alone with her any longer than necessary."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered heartbrokenly. Despite her unbelievable story, I knew then that she was telling the truth and everything finally made sense. I was so angry and I hated the fucking world for turning its back on her; I hated the Swans for what they did, but most of all, I hated myself for hurting her back then. Not only did I blindly take her innocence, but then I married the bitch that took her baby and didn't even believe her at first when she told me the truth. She had been holding onto that for so long, and I just called her insane. What the hell kind of person was I?

I walked out of the jail, and right past Charlie. I refused to stop and talk to him because all I wanted to do was blow a hole in his fucking head. I got into a taxi alone and had it take me back to the hotel, but I was in a dazed stupor for the entire trip. I was completely numb from the inside out, but it was necessary, because if I wasn't, I'd never be able to face Tanya again. I needed to talk to her, I needed to hear her admit it, Bella deserved at least that.

When I got back into the room, Tanya was reading a magazine, and Anthony was watching TV and picking at a muffin.

"Hey dad," he said happily.

"You need to get your stuff together; we're catching an earlier flight, ok?" I said to him feeling like I was nothing more than the walking undead. I hated myself for what I did to Bella and I would never make excuses, but what the Swans did was almost worst because they were well aware of the hurt they were causing. So I refused to let any of them be part of his life anymore, once we left that hotel, none of them would be welcome around him ever again

"Ok, cool," he said excitedly and ran to the back room.

"Why did you get an earlier flight?" Tanya asked confused. I was so furious that I couldn't see straight, but then a memory I had came to the forefront of my mind, and I wanted to use it to get Tanya to finally confess.

"When Anthony was five, Charlie and I took him to a Mariner game. We ran into one of Charlie's old friends there and he introduced Anthony as his grandson. His friend smiled and told Anthony that he had his grandfather's eyes. Why would he say that Tanya? Charlie laughed it off and I dismissed it, but Charlie isn't your biological father, so how could Anthony have his eyes?"

Tanya shook her head. "The guy was just seeing things. Why are you asking me this?"

I laughed once. "He wasn't seeing things; Anthony's eyes are an exact copy of Charlie's. Now tell me, how the hell is that possible?" I asked feeling like an absolute moron for not realizing it sooner.

She shrugged. "I don't see it."

"Do you know who else has an exact copy of Charlie's eyes?" I asked. She glared at me, but I could tell she understood what I was saying. "Bella. She has her father's eyes, and Anthony has hers."

Tanya shook her head slowly, and a tear rolled down her face; she knew that I knew the truth, and there wasn't anything she could say to get out of it. I stepped closer to threaten her quietly, so that Anthony couldn't hear. "I swear to god, if you ever try to come near him again, I will ruin you. I'm suing for full custody and you aren't going to fight me on it or I will make sure that everyone in that fucking small town knows exactly what you and your insane parents did to your sister. He's _my_ son, and you're going to stay the hell away from him."

"You would be in jail right now if I didn't take him," Tanya said defensively. "She wasn't even fifteen yet, and you were eighteen. You were my boyfriend and you fucked my kid sister, if anyone should be angry here, it's me. I gave my entire fucking life to you and your kid, and you have no right be angry."

"I'm done arguing and fighting with you. He's not your son, and you're going to leave us alone for now on. You're a fucking disease Tanya, and now Anthony and I have found the cure."

Anthony came skipping out of the room with a bag of stuff we had brought for him from home, and then he walked out the door I was holding open for him.

"Is mom coming?" he asked confused.

"Nope," I said to him.

"Ok," he said and didn't question it further. I knew I needed to tell him the truth at some point, but I had no idea how to do that. How do you tell a kid that his mother was really his aunt, and his aunt was his mother? For the time being, all he needed to know was that I wasn't going to ever leave him again, and explanations would come later.

I thought about Bella the entire trip home. I couldn't stand the thought of her being in jail when she didn't do anything wrong. Yes, she took Anthony and nearly scared me to death in the process, but she was wronged in so many ways that the last thing she needed was to be punished. I didn't know what my options were as far as trying to get her out, but I was damn sure I'd figure out a way.

* * *

><p><strong>*** Ok, so anyone surprised? In my AN at the beginning of the chapter, I said Anthony did not run away, which was true, though he was with Bella, which most of you guessed. **

**There were a few people who already guessed that Bella was actually Anthony's mother: Ceria6 , Vampchick01, Tinkerbell74, and MinaBR; good job! You all must know how my twisted mind works. I really should have been a writer for a soap opera, lol.**

**So, the next few chapters will be in Bella POV. It's going back to her childhood, and will show what her life was like, including the day she got pregnant.**

**Love it, hate it? Please Review.**


	8. My Boy

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 8 –_My Boy_~  
>Bella's POV<p>

Sometimes, in order to move forward, we have to take a look at where we've come from…..

I'll always remember the first time I saw Edward Masen. I was seven years old, and I had made friends with a hurt squirrel in a hole in my tree house. I found it earlier that day, and I was so worried because the news man on the TV said it was going to be one of the coldest nights of the year. So after my parents went to bed, I snuck to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of nuts to take to the squirrel. The cold bite to the night air made me shiver the moment I stepped outside, but I couldn't let the squirrel down so I went out anyway. I was just that type of kid who always looked after hurt creatures, and when I saw a strange boy in my tree house that night, he was no different. He was cold and scared, and despite the fact that I wasn't sure if he was a vampire or not, I wanted to help him.

I thought about him all day when I was at school. I was worried about him up in my tree house for so long, but a part of me didn't want him to ever leave. I didn't know his name yet, but it didn't really matter to me either.

"Mom, where are all my muffins?" Tanya asked my mom one morning. Tanya always had to have the gourmet muffins because she said the kind in the box made her feel sick. I didn't mind the boxed ones, but we were all out and I knew the boy was hungry, so I gave him hers.

"I thought I just bought some," mom told her.

"Well, there's none left. What am I supposed to eat for breakfast if we don't have any muffins?" Tanya asked annoyed. I always thought my sister Tanya was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was just like a Barbie doll, everything about her was perfect.

We lived in a three bedroom house, but Tanya competed in beauty pageants so she needed a lot of stuff. With outfits, makeup and beauty supplies, and her talent props, there just weren't enough places in our house to store everything, so my mom had to put a lot of it in my room, leaving not much space for my things. But I was fine by that, I didn't need a lot and I idolized my sister, so I would never complain about her getting more than me. I only wished that I grew up to be half as beautiful and talented as her one day.

"I can make you an omelet," my dad said to Tanya as he walked into the kitchen.

"I don't want an omelet," she said stubbornly while crossing her arms.

"_O-kay_, what about you Bells?" dad asked me. Since my dad wasn't really Tanya's dad, he always tried to make her happy because he felt bad that she didn't have her own dad around, but when she was being moody like that, he just tried to leave her alone.

"Ok, can I help make it?" I asked excitedly. I always loved cooking with my dad, especially when it had eggs in it. My dad wasn't the best cook, so eggs were about all he could make and I tried to help whenever I could.

"Of course. You know how to make them better than I do anyway, mine come out all rubbery when you don't help," dad told me, which made me smile. My dad and I always had a special bond, we liked the same things and there wasn't anyone I'd rather spend my free time with. I loved my mom too, but she was always so wrapped in Tanya's beauty pageants and traveling to the competitions all the time, that I really didn't spend all that much time with her.

My dad cracked the eggs, and I mixed them up before adding the cheese.

"Woops, it looks like you got some on your nose," my dad said before wiping the raw egg onto my face.

"Daddy," I complained with a smile. It didn't matter how clean I actually was, my dad always told me that my face was a mess before wiping something on me.

"I think you look good that way," he teased. Usually I would dip my hands in and then wipe it on him as payback, but I didn't want to start a food fight right then, I needed to go check on my boy in the tree house before I left for school.

I liked having the boy hidden there, because it was something that was just mine. No one knew he was there, and no one could take him from me either. Tanya had a Maltese poodle she named Sophie, and because the dog was scared of other animals, I was never allowed to get a pet of my own. I had to share everything with her, but she had so much that she refused to let me touch. The only thing that was really mine at home, was the tree house that my dad and I built together, and because the boy was inside of it, that made him mine too.

After breakfast, I hurried out to peek in the tree house, and was happy that he was still sleeping. I gave him one of Tanya's muffins that I had hidden knowing they were almost gone, and then quietly climbed back down the ladder.

"Did I see you take one of my muffins outside?" Tanya asked me suspiciously.

"No," I lied.

"Yes you did. Bella, I told you that you couldn't feed that stupid squirrel my stuff," Tanya scolded me.

I pushed my back against the door hoping she wouldn't go out there to try to see the squirrel, and end up discovering my boy instead; he was mine, and I didn't want to share him. "I won't do it again," I told her quickly.

"Ok, fine. You know, you really shouldn't keep that squirrel anyway, Sophie doesn't like it," she told me.

"Oh, but I won't let it out of the tree house and Sophie doesn't go up there," I told her worriedly.

"Well, as long as she doesn't have to see it, it should be fine."

"She won't," I responded quickly.

I would sneak out of my room every night to sleep with my boy; he was always so cold, but after a few days, I got used to his body temperature and was actually comforted by it. I wanted to keep him forever, but then I overheard my dad talking to someone about a missing boy, and I knew it had to be him.

"It just really doesn't look good. I don't see how a ten year old kid could survive out in the snow for this long," my dad said into the phone. "His parents are beside themselves; I just can't even imagine what they're going through not knowing where he is."

My dad had been spending extra time working that week, and I realized it was because he had been leading search parties to find the missing boy.

"Dad, why is he missing?" I asked him after he got off the phone.

"Sometimes bad things happen, but we can only hope that he's found soon," my dad told me softly.

"But what if he doesn't _want_ to be found?" I asked slowly.

"He's only a child Bells, he can't take care of himself properly. Besides, it's really cold out there and that's not healthy for anyone."

"You mean he could get sick?" I asked worriedly.

"Let's just hope he's ok," dad said and then stood to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked him quickly.

"Back to look for him some more. We have people looking up in the mountains, and all around town, but there just is no sign of him anywhere," he explained.

"What does he look like?" I asked my dad.

"Well here, I have a picture," he said and pulled a missing person's flyer out of his coat pocket. I was right, it was definitely my boy.

"Eeed-ward Mass-en," I sounded out the name on the flyer.

"That's right, his name is Edward Masen," dad said.

"How come I've never met him before?" I asked.

"Well, they only moved here last year, and both of his parents are extremely busy so they don't socialize much."

"Dad, what if….what if I know where he is?" I asked slowly.

My dad raised his eye brows at me and looked surprised. "Do you?" he asked me.

I shook my head no at first, but then my dad looked at me sternly, so I then nodded.

"Bella, this is very serious. If you have seen this boy, I need you to tell me."

"Ok….he's in my tree house," I told him.

"Your tree house?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I've been feeding him and I gave him blankets."

"Are you sure about this Bella?" my dad asked me.

"Yeah, come on, I'll show you," I said and then grabbed his hand and pulled him outside.

My boy peeked his head out when he saw us coming, and my dad saw him. Dad told me to wait on the ground while he talked to him alone, so I did, but I was worried that my boy was going to be mad because he asked me not to tell anyone about him. But he wasn't mad. A few days after my dad took him home, my boy came back to visit me.

"And you must be Bella," my boy's mom said to me. She wanted to meet me because she said I saved her son's life, and I was pretty happy about that. My dad barbequed and the Masens stayed for dinner so we could all get to know each other better. Tanya was upset that I had a special boy all to myself, but for the first time, I really didn't care if she was mad at me or not.

Edward and I spent the entire evening together. We just talked and laughed a lot, and we even made plans to see each other after school the next day too. We went to different elementary schools, but as time went on, Edward made a point to come over my house every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, before spending most of our weekends together as well.

The years passed and we grew older, but the one thing that never changed was that Edward and I were always best friends.

"Ugh! Don't you have a home of your own?" Tanya asked whenever she saw Edward.

"Yeah, but it's not as cool as this one," Edward said back to her.

"And why's that? Your parents don't let you rummage the fridge, the way you do here?" she asked annoyed.

"They don't care if I do that, but this house is better because Bella's here," Edward said with a wink to me, which made me giggle. "Hey Tanya, does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" she asked confused.

"That stick in your ass. That's not the type of place you want to get splinters," he said with a laugh.

"You're a jerk!" she yelled.

"What? It's not my fault you're mean all the time," Edward said defensively.

"I'm telling my mom what you said," Tanya cried and then ran off.

"You really shouldn't say those things to her," I told Edward after Tanya was out of sight.

"Why not? She's mean to everyone all the time, so why can't people be mean to her too?" Edward asked me.

"She's not mean…she just likes things to be a certain way," I defended her.

"Whatever, I just hope she cares about you as much as you do about her," Edward said and then he kissed my forehead before going home for the day.

That was the summer before Edward and Tanya would be going to the same junior high. I was worried about them going to the same school because I knew how horribly they got along, which really made me sad. I loved Tanya, she was my sister and even though she wasn't always the nicest to people, I knew deep down she was a very misunderstood person. She couldn't handle the fact that her dad didn't love her enough to be in her life, so she made everyone else work for her love; she needed to be constantly reminded that people would love her no matter how hard she pushed them away. I would always love my sister no matter what….or so I thought I would back then.

Over the next year, everything changed. Edward would bring some of his friends over, and they'd end up hanging out with Tanya and her friends. I was worried about the two of them getting along before, but it seemed that concern was unfounded.

"Hi Edward," Tanya would then say with a smile when she saw Edward at our house.

"Oh, hi Tanya. I really like your…_shoes_ today," he said awkwardly back. I was thrilled that they had become friends, but throughout the school year, they started getting a little too close for my comfort.

I had book club after school one day, and when I got home, I was excited to see Edward's backpack and coat on the living room floor. I figured he was in our tree house, which I considered 'ours' at that point because he used it just as much as I did, but he wasn't there. I looked around the house, in the kitchen, and in my room, and then lastly, went to ask Tanya if she had seen him. She was in her room, so I pushed open the door slowly, and I was absolutely horrified at what I saw… Edward was there with her, and they were kissing.

I didn't understand the anger I felt at that moment. It wasn't like I wanted to be the one kissing him, I didn't even like boys like that then, but I certainly didn't want them kissing either. I was happy they had become friends, but Edward was _my boy_, the only thing that I never had to share. He was the one person who had actually liked me more than her, but that had abruptly changed, and I didn't know what to do about it.

He started treating me differently too. Before, it was like we were like the same person, but then suddenly he started acting like I was nothing more than a kid.

"Can I come?" I asked one day when Edward and Tanya were leaving to go to the beach with their friends.

"No Bella, we're not going to be flying kites," Tanya said to me annoyed.

"Edward?" I asked him, ignoring Tanya.

"You know Bella, we're going to be playing volleyball and stuff like that; you wouldn't really have fun. But, I'll tell you what, we'll go to the beach next week and build a huge sand castle. Just you and me, ok?" he said delicately, as if I was a baby that he was pacifying.

I nodded, despite the fact that I was upset. That was the first time that I truly understood what had really happened…I lost my boy. I knew he favored her at times, but I never thought he'd push me aside completely for her. It made me angry, he was supposed to be mine, but there was Tanya coming in and taking what didn't belong to her.

"Hey kiddo, everything ok?" my dad asked me when he saw me sulking on the stairs.

"Edward and Tanya went to the beach with their friends, and they said I couldn't come," I said angrily.

"I see," my dad said to himself, and then he came to sit next to me. "Look, I know it seems like Edward has been spending a lot of time with your sister lately, but…I'm fairly certain it's just a phase. Do you know what a phase is?"

I nodded. "So, you think he'll get tired of her soon?" I asked him hopefully.

"Between you and me, I can't see how he possibly couldn't," he said with a chuckle. "Edward is a smart kid, he's just…going through puberty and only thinks about girls his own age right now. Don't hold it against him, all boys tend to fall in those types of traps," he said uncomfortably, but then he put his arm around my shoulder. "But, he'll wise up."

"But Tanya's so beautiful," I said with a sigh.

My dad kissed the side of my head. "She doesn't hold a candle to you, kid. Tanya's looks only run skin deep, but you….you're beautiful on the inside _and _out."

"Thanks dad," I said with a smile.

"Besides, look at us. You stopped hanging out with me as much when Edward started coming around, but we're still close, right?"

"Yeah dad, we're close…too close," I said and playfully pushed his arm off of me.

My dad's pep talk helped some, but I soon realized that he was wrong; Edward and Tanya's relationship didn't end with time, it just became increasingly more intense. One minute they were kissing and holding hands, and the next they were screaming at each other and calling the other names. I grew to actually prefer when they were together however, because when they were broken up, Edward didn't come around at all.

But the world kept turning, and life continued to move forward….

When I made it into the ninth grade, I was finally at the same school as Edward for the first time, though seniors rarely associated with freshmen very often.

"Hi Edward," I said to him quietly, half expecting him to dismiss me because we were at school.

"Hey Bella," he said with a smile and then did something that surprised not only me, but his friends who were walking with him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and swung me in a circle.

"Uh…wow, I didn't know you were into freshmen," one of his friends said teasingly.

"Only the beautiful ones," he said with a smile, and then shocked me even more by planting his lips to mine. It wasn't the way he kissed Tanya, but it was still more than I ever experienced before in my life.

Tanya was pissed at me for awhile after hearing about the kiss, but Edward convinced her that it was a joke and he only did it to help me climb the social ladder, which it definitely did. Edward was popular in the school, and because people saw him kiss me, I became somewhat popular by proxy.

All of my friends were having sex, and the pressure was always there, but anytime I got anywhere close to that with a guy, Edward's face always came to my mind. The amazing surreal feeling of his lips on mine was something that I never found with anyone else, and I promised myself that I wouldn't have sex unless I felt something close. My dad always said to wait until I was in love, so that's what I planned on doing.

Being at school with Edward and Tanya all day, was definitely emotionally draining. Every time I'd see them together, my stomach would twist in knots and I'd actually feel sick at times. But more often than not, I would hear them yelling at each other.

"You were fucking Gianna, I know it!" she screamed when she thought no one was around.

"What the hell do you care?" he'd say back carelessly.

As much as I hated Tanya and Edward together, I hated them being mean to each other even more.

"Did you really cheat on Tanya?" I asked Edward that day after school. He had just dropped me and Tanya off at home, and she stormed her way into the house without even saying goodbye. They had been fighting a lot lately, and with their graduation approaching, I had a feeling that he just didn't care about pleasing her anymore. Edward and I were still close, despite the fact that Tanya hated us being around each other without her. He always tried to make time to be with me, but he continued to talk to me like I was nothing more than a child.

"Where did you hear that?" he asked shrugging it off.

"I heard you guys talking about it," I said quietly.

"Well, don't worry about it. You wouldn't understand anyway," he said dismissively.

"Why do you always say that? I'm not a little kid anymore," I told him bitterly and started to walk away, but he followed me.

"Bella, look, I'm sorry ok," he said while pulling me to a stop. "I just meant that you wouldn't understand my and Tanya's relationship. We just don't really get along very well. Sometimes I wish I could go back and never date her in the first place."

"Well, why do you stay with her then?" I asked confused.

He shrugged. "Because she's the captain of the cheer squad."

I rolled my eyes at his pathetic excuse.

"I don't know, it's just this ridiculous high school social ladder thing. I can't stand any of it really. I just can't wait until I graduate and don't have to play the stupid games anymore," he told me distantly.

"What will you do then?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged. "I always wanted to go to New York."

"I know. So, are you going to go then?" I asked him reluctantly. I hated the idea of being on the opposite side of the country than him, but I wanted him to be happy even more.

"I don't know. My mom's a little freaked out about it, but…" he let his sentence trail off, and looked past me absently.

"Maybe after I graduate, I'll come out there too and we can be roommates," I said jokingly but was extremely serious. I knew he didn't love me the way I had slowly realized that I loved him, but I figured that if we were to get away from Forks and away from Tanya, maybe we could become as close as we once were.

"Really?" he asked. It may have been in my imagination, but I could have sworn he actually seemed excited about the idea.

"Yeah, we could get an apartment together, and go skating all the time in Central Park," I said enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah, and you can be a famous book editor, and I'll be a hot shot lawyer," he said with a wink.

"We could afford a hella nice apartment then," I said with a smile.

"It's a plan," he said determinedly.

"Of course, I will miss the tree house," I added.

"Yeah, but we'll make our apartment look just like it," he said with a laugh.

"I don't think that would work too well," I said jokingly disturbed.

"Yeah, maybe not." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead the way he had done so many times before. "You're the best, do you know that?"

"I try telling Tanya that all the time, but she never listens to me," I said sarcastically with a grin.

"Well then, she's a moron," he said and then did a half wave, before leaving for the day.

When I turned around to go into the house, I saw Tanya waiting at the kitchen table next to the opened window…she heard our whole conversation.

"He'll never move to New York," was all she said before going to her bedroom and slamming the door shut.

I didn't want Tanya to be mad at me, but there was something about her tone that worried me, so I hesitantly went up to her room and found her using a needle to poke holes in some condoms that she took out of her purse.

"What are you doing?" I asked shocked.

"It's none of your fucking business, GE THE HELL OUT!" she screamed at me. Tanya wasn't always nice to me, but that was the first time that I actually saw hate in her eyes directed towards me.

"Tanya, that's wrong, you can't do that," I said realizing exactly what she was doing.

"Watch me!" she said and then pushed me out of the room and shut the door in my face. But the moment the door shut, she re-opened it and pulled me back in the room. "Bella, look, you have no idea what you just saw," she said more calmly.

"You were making it so you could get pregnant without him knowing it," I said sternly. I wasn't a child or an idiot, and I wasn't going to let her treat me like one.

"No, no, I realize that's how it looked, but that's not what I was doing," she tried convincing me with a sweet tone.

"What were you doing then?" I asked frustrated, knowing she was lying.

"I was just curious. My friend said that if you puncture a condom and then put a peeled cucumber inside, it could be used as a facial cooling pack. It's supposed to be good for the pores. I know it sounds strange, but I'm your sister, and you trust me right?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and absently shook my head no. I didn't believe her, but I really didn't have any proof she was lying either. I turned to leave the room, but she called me to wait.

"Bella, you can't tell anyone about this, ok? It's stupid and embarrassing, and I really don't want people knowing I actually tried this ridiculous beauty trick."

"Whatever," I said bitterly and then left.

I didn't know what to do; if I told Edward, it would make Tanya hate me even more, but if I didn't tell him, he could end up getting her pregnant and be stuck with her forever. I couldn't imagine the two of them having a baby together, and I knew they would both just be miserable for the rest of their lives, so I decided to tell Edward. Tanya would forgive me eventually, she had to, we were sisters.

But that became one of Tanya and Edward's _off months_; they weren't even a couple then, so I didn't worry about it too much. If they decided to get back together, I would definitely have to tell him.

It was only a few weeks before Edward and Tanya were going to graduate high school, and of course for whatever reason, they got back together. Edward said that he told her that it was only temporary because he planned to move away after school finished, and he had no desire to have a long distance thing. But I couldn't get Tanya's condom sabotaging out of my mind, so I decided to go and tell him.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," I said into his voicemail. It was odd that he didn't answer his phone because he rarely ever missed a call, but ten minutes later, I got a phone call from my dad explaining what happened to him.

"His parents were just killed in a car crash," Charlie said sadly. "He could really use a good friend right now, Bells," he said, and I didn't even think twice about it. I grabbed my bike, and rode straight to his house. I didn't pause at the front door; I simply went inside and saw my dad sitting there with Edward by his side looking completely lost. Charlie was awkwardly doing his best to comfort him by patting him on the back, but I knew what he really needed. I walked over to him, and wrapped my arms around his torso, and he responded by holding onto me tighter than I had ever been held before.

"What am I supposed to do now, Bella?" he asked brokenly before breaking down and sobbing into my hair. My heart ached for him, and I would have done anything to take his pain onto myself in that moment.

My dad left us so we could have some time alone, and I just held him all evening. After his crying slowed, I asked him if he wanted me to call Tanya, but he shook his head no.

"The only person I want to see right now, is you," he told me softly, and I completely understood why. He didn't have to be brave in front of me, he knew he could completely break down and I would never judge him or look at him like less of a 'man'. We were just always there for each other in that way, and I knew we always would be.

I called my dad and told him that I was staying the night at Edward's house, and my dad never had an issue with it. I heard Tanya screaming in the background, but for once, my dad told her to shut up and that she wasn't allowed to interrupt us.

I slept in Edward's bed with him all night, and we just held each other the way we did whenever we camped out in my tree house. Of course, it had been years since the last time we did that, but I knew it would never be strange or uncomfortable.

Edward took a week off school, and pretty much took that time to get his parents affairs in order, and when he was finished, he came over our house to tell us about a decision he had made.

"I've enlisted in the military, and I leave at the end of next week," he said unexpectedly; we were all speechless.

My dad was the one who spoke first. "Well, that's definitely an honorable choice," he said and then shook his hand and patted his back.

"When will you be back?" Tanya asked dryly.

He shrugged. "It's a minimum of four years active duty."

"You can't go, tell them you changed your mind," Tanya demanded. The two of them started bickering, so my parents left the room not wanting to hear it, but I just stayed there completely stunned. I didn't know how to move at that point because I was so worried about him, and I couldn't imagine going years at a time without ever seeing him.

Like usual when they argued, Tanya ended up storming off to her bedroom, but Edward stayed and waited to talk to me.

"I guess we have to put off New York for a few more years," I said to him with a tear rolling down my cheek.

He smiled reassuringly. "This will be a good thing, you'll see," he said while wiping my tear with his finger before wrapping me in his arms.

"I love you," I whispered to him.

He laughed once. "I love you too, and nothing will ever change that." He kissed my head, and then I didn't see him again for the rest of the week.

I spent the next couple of days getting together the gift I thought of for Edward. I bought him a scrapbook and I filled it full of pictures, along with things that were meaningful to us. Leaves from our tree house tree, baseball cards that we had collected over the years, his half of the wishbone we broke the previous Thanksgiving, and everything else I thought would make his time away a little more bearable.

My parents left for the State Police and Fireman's Ball, and Tanya used their absence as the perfect way to throw a huge farewell party for Edward. She told our parents that it was just going to be a few people, but I had never seen so many people in our house before. Half the school was there, and it was so crowded that I could hardly move. There was beer everywhere, and some people even had drugs.

"This is the police chief's house, and we're totally doing crack," one stoner said with a laugh as I tried to walk past. I glared at him, but he didn't seem to care whatsoever. I absolutely hated drugs, I thought they were disgusting and did nothing but ruin lives, but with so many people there and the music so loud, I couldn't even hear myself think, little alone yell at the druggie idiot.

I spent over an hour looking for Edward, but when I finally found him, he was absolutely wasted. I wanted to talk to him anyway, but he was so out of it, that I was sure he wouldn't remember it the next day anyway, so I decided to wait until he sobered up a little.

It was already late and I didn't have any of my friends there, so I decided to just go to bed, but when I got into my room, there were actually people having sex in there. I was so disgusted, that I stormed right over to Tanya to complain about her out of control friends.

"So what, go sleep in my room then," she said carelessly as she took another swig of her beer and laughed with her friends.

I huffed, and then grudgingly went to her room for the night. Tanya's room was further back and she kept blackout blinds over the windows, so unless someone actually turned on the light, it was next to impossible to see what was in there. I, of course, did turn on the light just to make sure the room was vacant, and when I was sure that it was, I turned the light back off and climbed in bed.

I tried to get to sleep, but the music was too loud, and all I could think about was Edward risking his life and going to war. I was so scared for him, and I just had no idea what I would do if he was killed or even injured. I loved him more than anything; he was my best friend, my family, my soul mate, my everything. I just couldn't imagine my life without him.

Suddenly the door squeaked open letting a flood of light into the room, and I was about to yell at whoever it was to leave, but then I realized it was Edward.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly as he shut the door behind him, leaving the room pitch black again.

"I have been looooking for you everyywhere," he said with slurred words as he felt his way over to me in the darkness.

"You have?" I asked happy, but confused.

"We agreed tonight was our last night together, right? Wheen I get back…." he said then laughed. "_If _I get back," he corrected himself, "we're not shitting this do…_doing this shit_ anymore," he said all jumbled up.

"Huh?" I asked puzzled.

"Don't plaay stupid Tanya, yoou know what I'm talking aboout," he said, and that's when I realized that he thought I was my sister. I was about to tell him that he was wrong and I was me, but then his lips came crashing down on mine, and his hand automatically found its way between my legs.

I knew it was wrong, I knew I should have pushed him off of me and made him realize who I was, but I just…didn't want to. His lips tasted like beer, but they were still _his _lips, my boy's lips, and they were moving with mine in a way I had only fantasized about. And his hand…there was no way to find the will to make him stop what he was doing with that. I had never been touched in that way, nor did I ever want to be before that, but it was the single most amazing thing I ever felt in my life. A part of me was sickened that he was doing that to me thinking I was Tanya, I really hated knowing that he was giving that kind of gift to her, but every other part of me didn't care who he thought I was as long as he didn't stop.

Before I even had time to let it sink in what was happening, he had my panties pulled down, and he was unbuttoning his belt.

"Edward," I breathed, but he didn't stop. His lips moved to my neck, and I finally understood what being truly aroused felt like.

I could hear the soft rustling of his pants being pulled down, and the next thing I knew his hand was replaced by something else…and then, there was pain.

I wanted to cry and scream for him to stop, but I couldn't find my voice so I just held onto him tightly and prayed he would be done with me soon.

I loved him, I always loved him, and I had always promised myself that I wouldn't have sex until I was in love, so at least I kept that promise…in a way. It was nothing like I imagined it, there were no shooting stars or whispers of devotion, it was just hot pain mixed with cold emotions. We weren't even fully naked, and when it was finally over, he simply redid his pants and stumbled his way out of the room.

I laid there in numb shock for a minute, and then absently tried to move, but every muscle in my body hurt. Not only was there a burning sensation between my legs, but I felt like I had been beaten by a sledge hammer. I didn't remember him being particularly rough, but I was so tense that it didn't matter.

I tried to shrug off the whole experience and pretend it didn't happen, but then the shock wore off and I just started crying hysterically. What the hell did I do?

I couldn't stop crying, and the more I thought about it, the more I cried. Not only did I lose my virginity to my sister's boyfriend, but I did it without him even knowing it. He was my best friend, but I knew I could never tell him the truth, because he didn't love me that way, and he'd just be angry with me; hell, I was angry with me, so he couldn't be anything less than furious.

Edward left for boot camp a few days later, but I couldn't bring myself to face him in order to say goodbye. I knew he had been looking for me before he went, but he knew me so well that he'd definitely see that something was wrong with me, and he didn't need that when he was away. I never gave him the scrapbook I made, but I hoped that by the time he returned, I'd be past what happened enough to go back to the way we were.

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><p><strong>***This chapter was in Bella's POV, so if you disagree about certain people's behaviors and Bella taking all the blame onto herself, just remember that it's just how she thinks and feels, and may not necessarily be how others see it. Edward cares for Bella very deeply, even if it didn't seem like it in this chapter.<strong>

***Bella finds out she's pregnant and her parents make the horrible decision, next.**

**Please Review!**


	9. A Million Pieces

**She Will Be Loved**

A/N: So, I just wanted to let everyone know, that it is possible to kidnap your own child if you don't have custody of it. I had a lot of reviews saying that Bella couldn't be charged for kidnapping because Anthony was her son, but that's not how it works. In fact, most kidnappings in the US are done by a parent or other family member, and it's often over custody issues. When caught, that parent could, and would face kidnapping charges along with jail time….sad, but true.

*This has to be the longest chapter I have ever written, so I hope you're somewhere comfortable when reading this. Lol.

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><p>~Chapter 9 –<em>A Million Pieces<em>~  
>BPOV<p>

I felt like a completely different person after my encounter with Edward. Not only did I have a hard time looking my sister in the face, but I felt weird around my parents too. I wasn't a virgin anymore, and I was paranoid that they would somehow sense it. Since it was summer break, I didn't have to worry about going to school and pretending like nothing had changed, but I did have to figure out a way to make myself scarce.

"Where are you going?" Tanya asked me as I was heading out the door.

"Out," I said emotionlessly and then left.

I had been spending my time either alone at the library, or at the forest clearing behind my house; I just didn't want to talk to anyone if I could avoid it. The physical pain of having sex for the first time had long been melted away, but the emotional turmoil of the way it happened was still raw and ached every second of the day.

It wasn't the act itself that upset me so much, and it definitely wasn't about _who_ I had sex with, because I couldn't imagine anyone I would have wanted to be with more, but it was the way it happened. I wanted to feel what it was like to have him want me in that way. I wanted him to look me in the eye and know without a doubt that we belonged together, but that's not what happened, and it never would.

I had been sure that time would heal the hurt of not being wanted, but it only made it worse. Summer ended quickly, and I was still so out of it, that I stopped hanging out with all my friends. I just wanted to rewind time and find an excuse to be away from that party that night…or better yet, I wanted to rewind time and tell Edward to never date my sister. I wasn't sure how different things would have been in that scenario, but he definitely wouldn't have mistaken me for her that night. I should have told Edward that I didn't want them dating all along, looking back on it, I really think he would have listened. He never wanted to upset me, and he even stuck up for me when it came to Tanya over the years, but I never actually told him how it hurt me to see them together.

"Bella?" Tanya said knocking on my bedroom door one Saturday morning. I hadn't talked to her much since before summer, and I really didn't have any desire to whatsoever either.

"Can I come in?" she asked when I didn't answer her.

"No," I said carelessly.

"Ok, thanks," she said and then came in anyway. "Happy birthday," she said surprising me. I was so out of it lately that I didn't even know what day it was.

"Thanks," I said in a daze.

"I got you something," she said with a smile.

I moaned. "Tanya, I don't want any of your tofu cakes," I told her, but just the thought of it made me want to vomit, so I actually gagged.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked with a mix of concern and disgust.

"Nothing. Can you just give me whatever you brought and then leave me alone," I asked rudely.

"Okay," she said baffled by my behavior. "Here, it's a sign for the car…it's for when you start diver's training," she said with a smile.

"Beware, unskilled, unlicensed, and ready to take on the world," I said, reading the sign she got me.

"Yeah, you're fifteen now and you'll be starting your driver's training soon, so I thought it would be wise to warn the other cars on the road that you're coming," she teased with a giggle, but when I didn't laugh with her, she sighed. "Bella, even though we haven't gotten along so well lately, we're sisters, and I love you."

I nodded, but didn't say anymore.

"Look, I know you miss Edward, but I really think that if we stick together, he'll come back to us in a few years."

I slowly turned my head to glare at her. "Why? He said he didn't want to be with you anymore, so why are you still holding onto him?"

"I love him," she said quietly.

"Really?" I asked incredulously. "Or, are you just afraid that no one else would ever put up with your shit?"

She looked at me shocked. "That really hurt Bella. Why are you being so mean?" she asked sadly.

"He doesn't love you, he told me he didn't. He was only with you because you were popular at school. In fact, he said he couldn't wait to graduate just so he wouldn't have to pretend to like you anymore," I told her harshly. I was actually surprised that I said those things to her, it didn't matter how she acted, being mean wasn't something that I was. I just had no idea what came over me.

A tear fell down Tanya's face, so I mumbled 'sorry' before grabbing my shoes and leaving as quickly as possible. I went back to the clearing behind my house and I suddenly felt extremely sick, so I started throwing up. I briefly thought about the Sex Ed class I had taken in at school, and the idea of being pregnant swept through my mind, but I pushed it away as quickly as it came. There was no way I could be pregnant…except, I could.

When the next month past and I missed my third period, I started really worrying but I still didn't know what to do about it. Deep down I knew I was pregnant, and I was absolutely terrified. I felt like I was in some horrible nightmare, and if I could wake up, I would just go back like nothing happened. But all too soon, my stomach popped out, making it hard to deny anymore. I started wearing baggy clothes to cover it up because even though I had accepted it as fact, I still wasn't ready to say it out loud and tell my parents yet.

Since I couldn't drive yet, and Tanya still hadn't decided which college she wanted to go to, she was the one who picked me up from school every day. I would have preferred the bus, but when my dad insisted that she do it, I accepted but we hardly spoke during the short care rides to and from school.

"Wait, Tanya, pull over the car," I said quickly on the way home from school one day.

"Why?" she asked annoyed.

"Just do it," I said and then started gagging so Tanya stopped the car quickly. I jumped out and vomited violently on the side of the road, which I thought was odd because I really thought throwing up was only supposed to be in the mornings.

"OK Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?" Tanya asked me as I got back in the car. "You're moody all the time, and now you're throwing up….oh my god, Bella," she said while looking at my stomach. I didn't notice that my sweatshirt had ridden up a little, and was exposing the bulge on my abdomen. "You're pregnant," she said quietly.

"No…I'm just…putting on weight," I lied horribly.

"Bella, you just turned fifteen," she said incredulously. "What were you thinking?"

"Just leave me alone," I whispered.

"We have to tell mom and Charlie," she said just as quietly. "You're already showing so you must be at least like four months or something. Bella, what the hell were you doing having sex at fourteen anyway…especially without protection?"

I was taken aback by Tanya's apparent concern and sisterly protectiveness, but I knew that if she found out who my baby's father was, she wouldn't be so nice.

"I don't know," I answered her quietly. "It just happened so fast that I didn't even have time to think it through."

"Bella, when was your last period?" she asked, trying to figure out how far along I was.

I shrugged. "The end of May," I said absently.

"The end of May? Bella, that was five months ago," she said taking me aback. I had no idea that much time passed, which scared me all the more. "So, you must have gotten pregnant in June, probably around the end of the school year. Do you even know who the baby's father is?" she asked concerned.

I nodded, but then shook my head quickly.

"So, you're not sure?" she questioned me.

"I know who it is," I said, "but, I'm not going to say."

"Why?" she asked confused. "The guy should know he knocked you up."

"Well, he's older," I said hesitantly. I had no idea what the hell I was thinking by saying anything, especially to Tanya, but I guess I had held it in for so long, that it was just eating away at me and I needed to confide in someone…even if that meant Tanya. We made it home so I tried retreating into my bedroom, but she followed me.

"Oh…the father is a junior?" she guessed.

"Shh!" I hushed her; mom was home in the kitchen so I didn't want her hearing anything. "No, not a junior," I whispered shakily.

"A senior?" she asked surprised.

"Not, exactly…he _was_ a senior…last year," I said reluctantly.

"Wow…I mean, Bella, how the heck did that happen?" she asked.

"At your stupid party you had here," I said bitterly.

"What? Wha…who?" she asked flabbergasted.

"It doesn't matter. He's gone now, and he's not coming back anytime soon."

"Was it one of Edward's friends? I bet it was Emmett, huh? That guy is disgusting when he's drunk," Tanya guessed way off. "Oh, Edward is going to be so pissed when he comes back and finds out that Emmett got you pregnant…."

"It's NOT EMMETT!" I exploded. "And Edward isn't coming back here; he doesn't want to be with you anymore, so get it through your thick fucking skull! He hates it here, and he hates you. He didn't want you to comfort him when his parents died, because he can't stand you. Even when it was happening and he was inside of me thinking I was you, he kept saying how it was the last time and he never planned on touching you again!"

I didn't even realize what I had said until I saw the expression on her face…it was pure _loathing_.

"You fucked my boyfriend?" she said slowly.

"I…" I couldn't believe I had actually said it out loud, especially to Tanya, but I couldn't take it back and I didn't want to either. It was such a relief from the burden I didn't even know I was carrying. I knew I was pregnant, but I had tried so hard to not think about it, hoping for a miracle to make it disappear, that finally admitting it forced it to become real. It was time to come up with some sort of plan for me and my baby.

"How dare you, you spiteful bitch," Tanya said menacingly.

"Tanya, I swear, I didn't mean for it to happen, and he never knew it was me. I was in your room, remember?"

"You're a liar. You have been after him since we first started dating. You just couldn't handle the fact that he actually wanted to be with me more than you; you tried to steal him. No wonder he enlisted in the military, he was probably tired of dodging your advances and didn't have the heart to tell you to fuck off."

"That's not how it happened," I said while starting to cry. I was angry at my sister, but at the same time, I hated that I had just hurt her so deeply. "It was an accident. I was scared Tanya, can't you just be my sister for once and tell me that everything is going to be ok? I know you're hurt, and I'm so sorry for that, but I never meant for any of it to happen. I swear, I would never intentionally hurt you like that."

"Yeah, well you did. Edward is my boyfriend, and I was the one trying to have his baby. I even went to the fucking doctor to try to see why I wasn't getting pregnant…" she started crying then. "I can't have kids, my body doesn't work right, and here you are, fifteen fucking years old and pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. IT ISN'T FAIR!" she screamed.

"Hey girls, what is all this yelling going on in here?" our mom peeked in and asked.

"Bella fucked Edward, and now she's pregnant," Tanya said heartlessly. My mom and I both stood there staring at each other in shock.

"Bella," my mom whispered after a minute.

"It was an accident," I said quickly and then went on to tell her the entire story. I cried while I spoke, but like when I told Tanya, it felt good to have it all out in the open.

"Mom, she can't have Edward's baby. It'll ruin all of us…think about what everyone is going to say," Tanya said, her voice was thick with desperation. It was clear that despite my internal fear that I had been going through since it happened, Tanya was actually handling it a lot worse.

"Shut up, Tanya!" mom yelled. "I just need time to think."

"I'll take care of it," I told my mom quickly. I hadn't thought much about it, but at that moment it became extremely clear, at least to me. I wanted my baby, and it didn't matter how old I was, I would do whatever it took to take care of it and figure everything else out as I went.

My mom told me that she needed some time to let it all sink in, and then she needed to talk to my dad about it. It was a nerve-racking few days, with a lot of yelling between my parents, but by the end of the week, they came up with a decision, except it was only temporary.

"Bella, you're going to go live at the Schulman School for Pregnant Teens, in New Hampshire," mom told me. My dad was sitting in the room at the time, but he looked extremely upset about the decision.

"O-kay," I said confused. "What happens after the baby is born?"

"We haven't decided that yet. But we just think it would be better for everyone if the entire town wasn't gossiping about this. That baby is going to have it hard enough having a fifteen year old mother, that we don't need the Edward drama mixed in it as well."

"Wait a minute…you're not going to let me tell Edward he's the father?" I asked appalled.

"Bella, you said he didn't know it was you, right? Think about the stigma we'll all have…what _Edward_ will have if people find out that he was dating your sister and got you pregnant at the same time," mom said frustrated.

"Mom, Edward deserves to know he's a father," I said incredulously. I knew he would probably hate me for it, but I didn't have a doubt that Edward would step up and take responsibility. Especially since his parents had just died, he would definitely want all the family he could get.

"You're fifteen years old Bella, fourteen when this happened, Edward is an adult and that makes this whole thing illegal. Right Charlie?" mom asked him. He huffed angrily and then got up and walked out of the house. I looked in the direction he left in, and then slowly looked back to my mother. "If anyone finds out that Edward is this baby's father, he'll be arrested for rape. That's a serious crime Bella, and he'll be in jail for a long time."

"He can't go to jail," I said in a panic.

"Mom, what if…what if I adopted the baby," Tanya said out of nowhere. "I mean, let's face it, Edward has some strong genes, if the baby comes out with bronze hair and green eyes, everyone will know it's his. But, if we tell everyone I'm its mother, no one would ever question it."

"No," I said disgusted by the idea. "This is my baby, and you aren't taking it from me like you do everything else."

"Bella, think about what's best for the baby," Tanya said gently, as if she was only offering to take it for the greater good. "Mom?"

Mom thought about it for a few minutes, and then she nodded to herself. "It could actually be a good idea Bella," she said finally.

"What? No! Mom, I'm not going to give Tanya my baby," I said sternly.

"Bella, think about it for a moment," my mom tried reasoning with me. "Tanya and Edward have been together for a long time. If he didn't enlist in the army, they'd probably be talking marriage right now."

"At eighteen?" I challenged her.

"Well, not right away, but eventually. Tanya just found out that she can't have children of her own, so she'd end up adopting anyway. At least this way, Edward can still have his biological child, and it'll be one that's genetically linked to Tanya as well."

"I am not a surrogate, mom!" I said slowly. "I didn't get pregnant to just hand my baby over to her."

"Bella, this way you can be in the baby's life, and you'll still be able to go to school and enjoy your adolescence. It's a win–win for everyone," mom said, completely not listening to me.

I shook my head slowly and then turned to go start packing my things. There was no way in hell I'd let my sister take my baby.

"What are you doing?" my mother asked after following me to my bedroom.

"I'm getting out of here. If you want to give Tanya a baby, you'll have to find someone else's," I said without looking at her.

"Honey, I just want to do what's best for everyone here."

"No, you just want to do what's best for Tanya!" I said forcefully. "She's only eighteen, mom. It's not like she's a whole hell of a lot older than me. She's not some thirty five year old who's tried for years to have a baby. This is _my _baby, and she can't have it."

"Ok, Bella. We don't have to decide this now, but you can't run away. How are you going to support that baby with nowhere to go? Just go to this school, and we can make the decision when it gets closer to time."

"I've already made the decision, I'm keeping this baby," I told her with conviction.

"Ok, well, you're fifteen years old, and kids your age are constantly changing their minds. So go to this school, and really think it through. It's against Forks High policy to allow pregnant teens at school anyway, and you don't want to drop out, do you?"

"Fine, I'll go. But I'm not going to change my mind," I said grudgingly.

….

For the next four months, I lived with a bunch of hormonal bitchy girls that had nothing better to do then bicker and fight amongst themselves, and I hated every minute of it. We were encouraged to write a journal about our feelings while pregnant, but after reading mine over towards the end of my pregnancy, I realized it was mostly about my dislike for the place, so I ended up throwing the whole thing in the trash.

I spent my time there trying to get through my various high school level classes, but most of the time, I spent talking to my baby. I never felt alone while there, because no matter where I went, my baby always came too. After a few ultrasounds, it was confirmed that I was having a boy, so I automatically started calling him Little E. Edward was named after his father, so I knew he would want to name his son Edward Anthony Masen the Third, and I loved that idea, so I decided to call him Little E for short.

"Well Little E," I said while rubbing my round stomach. "It's just about time for you to come out into the world. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I swear, I'll make sure you have everything you could possibly need."

I never felt that intense level of love before, but feeling my baby kick and move inside of me, was beyond my wildest imagination. I used to believe that Edward was 'my boy'; to my seven year old self, he was similar to having a pet or an imaginary friend, but as time went on I lost the right to call him 'mine', but no one could take my baby from me. Little E really was _my boy_, and for the first time, I felt like my life had meaning. I was important to my baby, and that was an amazing feeling.

I went into labor in the middle of the night. It started off as a cramping feeling, but then it hit hard with full on contractions. I was taken to a nearby hospital and my parents were called. I was scared, but they assured me that despite the plane trip, my parents would be there in time for the birth.

"These things take time," the nurse told me.

I had such a mix of emotions knowing I was about to give birth. At first, I started to panic; I was only fifteen and about to become a mother. But as the contractions intensified, it all became very real and I couldn't be more excited. I never really fit in with my friends, I always felt different and out of step, but I realized it was because I was never a typical teenager. I never liked to party or be a part of the gossip scene, and although I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I would never feel like I missed out on my youth by becoming a teenage mother.

A few hours later, I was exhausted, and finally fully dilated. Everyone said I had gone fairly quickly, but to me it seemed like forever since my contractions had begun. But my parents weren't there yet, so I worried that they were going to miss it. I had talked to them on the phone a few times a week, but we never brought up what would happen after the baby was born. They knew I wasn't going to give him up, so there wasn't a point in discussing it. But since I was at the end, and the most painful part was about to happen, I wanted my mom there to hold my hand.

"Ok Isabella, it's time to start pushing," the doctor told me. Not only did he keep calling me Isabella despite me asking him not to, but he was also going to make me try to push before my mom was there.

"No, I'm not ready yet," I said in a panic.

"We can't wait, this baby is ready to come into the world," he told me.

I wanted my parents there to see his first breath, but Little E had other ideas. Just when I thought I didn't have any energy to push anymore, out he came, my beautiful baby boy. He screamed the moment he was out of me, but when they wrapped him up and placed him on my chest, he was calm. We just stared at each other for the most amazing few minutes I had ever experienced before. He was perfect, and he was absolutely mine. That's when I understood why Little E didn't want to wait for my parents to come, he wanted us to have some time together, just him and me, and in those moments, I felt like I knew him entirely.

"Ok, we're going to take him to the nursery to get you both cleaned up," a nurse said, while taking my baby from me.

"When are you going to bring him back?" I asked not wanting to let go of him.

"Uh…we'll bring him back in a few hours if that's what you want," the nurse said strangely.

"Of course that's what I want," I said angrily.

I was absolutely worn out, so even though I tried t stay awake, I felt myself drift off to sleep. When I woke up, I wasn't sure how long I had been sleeping for, but my dad was sitting next to my bed, looking pretty tired himself.

"Hi dad," I said with a smile. I felt like I hadn't seen him in forever, and the fact that I had become a mother since then, definitely made everything seem different.

"Hey Bells," he said with a smile.

"Did you see him?" I asked excitedly.

"Oh yeah, he's absolutely beautiful honey, you did a real good job…."

"Hi baby," my mom said as she came into the room. I wasn't sure where she was coming from, but she had a huge grin on her face, so I was hoping she was visiting my son.

"Hi mom, you missed it," I said to her.

"I know, we tried to get here as fast as we could," she said regretfully.

"That's ok, it was probably better this way anyway. Did you see him yet?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah; man is he beautiful. I can't believe how much he already looks like Edward," she said with a smile.

"I know, he's perfect," I agreed.

My dad came and kissed me on the head, and then told me he was going to the cafeteria for a snack, but I was actually happy to have a few minutes alone with my mom.

"I have all the paperwork for you," a woman said while walking into the room and handing me a stack of papers.

"I have to sign all of this?" I asked warily.

"Yep, and so do your parents since you're under age," the woman said.

"Great," I said sarcastically.

"Here baby, I'll help you," my mom said and then came to sit next to me on the bed. She started pointing out all the places I needed to sign, but when I was half way through, I started getting concerned.

"What is all this?" I asked.

"They're just legal documents and such. Don't worry about it, I've already read through everything," she assured me.

"Ok," I said with a smile and finished signing. Ten minutes later, the woman came back and took the papers to be filed.

"I never knew having a baby required so much legal documents," I said to my mom.

"Well, having a baby is a big deal," she said warmly.

"Uh, excuse me, nurse?" I asked when I saw a nurse walking past my room.

"Yes?" she said.

"Can you bring my baby in here please?" I asked her.

"Uh…well I think he's with the other mother right now," she said hesitantly.

"What other mother?" I asked confused.

"The one adopting him," she said slowly.

"Excuse me?" I asked upset.

"It's ok," my mom said to the nurse, and then waved her on so she would leave the room.

"Mom, did you hear what she just said?" I asked, while trying to get up to go find Little E.

"Bella, you need your rest," my mom said while trying to keep me on the bed.

"No, they think I'm giving him up for adoption," I said in a panic.

"Bella, we talked about this already," she said making me freeze with anger.

"Talked about what?" I asked through gritted teeth, even though I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Bella, you're fifteen years old. You're just not capable of taking care of a baby right now."

I shook my head slowly, before jumping out of bed.

"Bella, you just gave birth, you can't be doing that," my mom said quickly.

I ignored her and ripped the IV out of my hand, before running out of the room. My hand was bleeding from the abrupt way I removed the tube, but I really didn't care at that point, I needed to get to my baby.

I ran around like a frantic mad woman, but then I found him. Tanya was holding him in a sitting room around the corner from the room I gave birth to him in.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked me casually.

"Give me my baby," I said to her sternly.

"Bella, this is what's best," she said with false sympathy.

"No! He's mine and you can't have him!" I started getting hysterical, so then nurses came rushing in and tried to restrain me. I turned around and actually punched one of them square in the jaw, so they responded by sedating me with some form of injection.

When I woke up again, I was back in my room, and my mom was sitting next to me in a chair.

"Mom, please don't take him from me," I said groggily with tears rolling down my face. The medication they gave me wasn't fully worn off yet, so my brain was still foggy, but I was clearheaded enough to know what was going on.

"We're not taking him from you," she said softly. "You'll still get to see him every day. This is just the best situation for everyone. Bella, you're fifteen years old and this way, you can go back to school and have a normal high school experience. No one knows that you were pregnant besides us, so it'll never disrupt your life again."

"I'm not giving her my baby," I insisted.

"Don't think of it that way, think of it as if you were sharing him. Edward isn't here to take responsibility for him, so we'll all work together to raise him."

"But…everyone will think he is hers," I said skeptically.

"You will always have a special place in his life Bella. You're just too young to be a mother right now, but this way he stays in the family and you can see him anytime you want. We've already set up a room for him at home, and it's right next to yours."

"How did you do that?" I asked quietly, trying to keep control of myself in order to really think about the situation.

"Emergency add on," she said with a smile. "All your dad's friends came to help build the room, and they got it done in record time. It's really beautiful."

So reluctantly, I agreed to it, though it seemed that I really didn't have any other choice. Basically, as I understood it, Tanya was just going to be his mother for show, but he was mine whenever there was no one around. I figured that once I became eighteen and I could afford to move out on my own, I would be able to take Little E with me. We would move to a place where no one knew us, and no one would even doubt I was his mother. I understood the need to graduate high school, if I wanted to have a real job to support my son; I needed to have a diploma at least. The more I thought about it, the more grateful I became for having such a supportive family.

Tanya brought Little E into my room, but she was feeding him a bottle so I didn't get to hold him right away.

"Why can't I feed him?" I asked, aching to hold my son.

"He's already bonded to you, he needs to make a connection to me now too," Tanya said quickly.

I was going to argue with her, but then I decided to just let her finish feeding him. If she was going to be his 'mother' in public, then I supposed she needed to at least look like she knew what she was doing.

"Huh, Leonardo," Tanya cooed to my baby.

"What?" I asked stunned by what she called him.

"Oh, I didn't tell you his name yet," Tanya said casually. "I decided he needed a strong name, and it doesn't hurt that one of the most successful heartthrob actors has the same name."

"Uh, no. His name is Little E," I insisted.

"Little E? What the hell kind of name is that?" she asked disgusted.

"No, it's Edward Masen the Third. I just called him Little E for short."

"No way," Tanya said, completely pissing me off. "I hate the name Edward, it's so old fashion."

"And Leonardo isn't?" I challenged her.

"No, it's hip thanks to DiCaprio."

I looked at my mom waiting for her to help, but she didn't say anything to Tanya. I didn't know what to do, the birth certificate still had to be made up before we could leave, but I was not going to name my baby Leonardo. I didn't understand why she thought she even had a say in the matter, but for the sake of argument, I decided to just get her to see it my way.

"Tanya, I think Edward would really appreciate it if we named his son after him. You don't have to call him Edward if you don't want to, you can call him by his middle name. Anthony is just like that musician Anthony Tomas that you like so much," I reminded her.

She thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I could live with that."

I knew at that moment, that things weren't going to be perfect the way my mother had promised. We took Anthony home that evening, and since I was still a little weak, and there was a lot of walking in the airport, Charlie carried Anthony most of the time in his baby seat. Anthony was a really great baby, he only cried when he was hungry or wet, and he slept for almost the entire trip, but when we got home, things changed.

The add on for Anthony's bedroom was next to Tanya's room, not mine, and from the moment we got there, my time with Anthony was practically nonexistent. My mother kept saying that Tanya needed to bond with him, and that it wasn't possible with me around all the time. If I even tried to go into the nursery, Tanya and my mother would be there to within a minute to shoe me away. Entire days would go by when I didn't get even a glimpse of my baby, and I could actually feel the depression settling inside of me.

"He just won't stop crying," I heard Tanya say one evening. I had been lying in my room for hours just bawling my eyes out while listening to Anthony cry relentlessly. I wanted nothing more than to go hold him and figure out for myself what was wrong, but I wasn't allowed, so I just listened to their conversation from the next room, hoping to hear what they thought was wrong with him.

"Well, he's hungry," mom said.

"He won't take his bottle," Tanya said sounding irritated.

"How long has it been since he ate?" mom asked her.

"I don't know, like since this morning," Tanya said casually like as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Tanya, he can't go that long without eating," my mom said worriedly.

"Why not? He's chubby, so it's not like he's starving," Tanya said unfazed.

"It doesn't matter. Babies need to eat every couple of hours," mom told her.

"Well, how am I supposed to know that," Tanya said with attitude. "What the hell am I supposed to do if he won't take the bottle?"

"Maybe the bottle nipple flow is too fast for him," my mom speculated.

"What difference does that make? Jeesh, I can't believe he's already picky," Tanya said heartlessly, and I couldn't take it anymore. I got out of bed then went straight into the nursery. My mom and Tanya looked shocked by my intrusion, but I didn't give a shit what they thought at that point. I grabbed Anthony out of Tanya's arms and when she tried to grab him back, I ran into my bedroom and locked the door.

Tanya was screaming and pounding on the door, but I did my best to tune her out. I was finally holding my baby again after days with no contact at all, so nothing else mattered to me but that. Anthony looked at me and stopped crying immediately. It was like he knew I was his mother, and that he was supposed to be with me, but then he kept opening his mouth to me, and when I didn't feed him, he started crying again.

My breasts never stopped hurting or leaking, especially whenever I heard him crying, so since I didn't plan on leaving my room with him anytime soon, I decided to try to nurse him. I felt strange about the whole thing, but I was his mother and that was what was natural. I pulled down my shirt and the moment I put him up to my skin, he latched right on.

Tears rolled down my face from the gravity of the moment. I never felt more like his mother than I did then, and I knew I just had to figure out a way to convince my mother that I should be the one caring for him.

Anthony nursed for almost an hour, stopping briefly for a few cat naps along the way, but then he seemed perfectly contempt. I just watched him sleep the entire time, the way his little muscles in his face moved, and his hands twitched. I was in awe of him, and I couldn't believe that I was capable of producing such a perfect little person.

But all too soon, our time together was over.

Tanya had somehow managed to find a key to my room, and she unlocked the door. When she saw him sleeping against my breast, she was absolutely livid.

"How dare you do that to my baby!" she screamed.

"What?" mom asked while coming around Tanya, and then she gasped when she saw me. "Bella," she said ashamed.

"What? He was hungry," I said defensively.

"Bella, give him to Tanya," my mom said sternly.

"No!" I yelled, but before I had a chance to pull him away, Tanya grabbed him from me forcefully, waking him up in the process and making him cry again.

"See mom, I told you she would do something like this to make him not like me," Tanya said bitterly before taking Anthony out of the room.

"Bella, you can't be nursing him like that," mom said to me unexpectedly.

"But mom, he was hungry and I heard Tanya say that he wouldn't take the bottle. I didn't force him to do it, he wanted it…" I said while crying again.

"Bella, listen to me. When a baby nurses, it bonds the baby to the mother which could make the baby only respond to its mother….the problem with that is that, _Tanya_ is his mother now and Anthony won't accept her if you keep nursing," my mom said slowly.

"She's not his mother!" I screamed with a fresh round of tears.

"Bella, we can't keep going on like this, it's not healthy for you or Anthony. You need to be a kid, and Anthony needs to get to know Tanya better."

"I can't do this, mom. I need to be with him," I said through my tears.

"In time, it'll get easier and you'll understand. But that won't happen with you here," she said unexpectedly.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I've enrolled you at a boarding school in Chicago."

"Wha…why would you do that?" I cried out. "I just got home, and now you're sending me away again? Without my baby?"

"Bella, you need some time away from him to distance yourself. You need to understand that Tanya is his mother, and you're his aunt."

"NO!" I screamed and then tried to run after Tanya to get my baby from her, but she wasn't in the house anymore. "Where did she take Anthony?" I asked terrified.

"She's going to go stay somewhere else with him for a few days until you're all settled at your new school."

"Where the hell did she take my baby?" I asked enraged.

"Bella, he's Tanya's baby now," she said frustrated by my persistence. "You haven't really been out of the house much since you've been back, but…everyone thinks that Tanya gave birth to him."

"How could that be?" I asked breathlessly.

"It just makes more sense that way Bella. When you were gone, she told people that she was having Edward's baby, and honey, that's the way it should be. He thought you were her that night anyway, so…"

"How could you do this to me?" I asked incredulously. "I agreed to let her help me raise him, I thought Tanya might tell people she adopted him, not fake a pregnancy and claim she gave birth to Edward's baby."

"Like I said, you'll understand when you're older. Tanya can't have children, and well, you're still a child yourself."

"GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!" I yelled at her.

"I'm sorry Bella, but that's not going to happen. Tanya had custody of him now, so…"

"How does she have custody? I never agreed to that," I said, but then I remembered the huge stack of papers I curiously signed in the hospital. "You…you lied to me. You made me sign those papers, you made me sign my rights away without even knowing it."

I was beyond angry at that point, I was crushed. My own mother cheated me out of a life with my baby, and she didn't it without even batting an eye.

"Bella, I know you don't understand now, but you'll be able to have a real life now. You can date and go shopping, and never have to worry about finding a sitter or being home in time to put the baby to bed. You can go away to college and be a book editor like you always wanted to be. Tanya has really stepped up here. She's decided to sacrifice her college dreams so that she can raise Anthony. I'm really proud of her right now, and you should be thankful for having such a great sister."

I stared at her with absolute hatred. I never thought she would do something like that to me, I knew she always liked Tanya more, but that was a low that I never thought she would be capable of.

"Is this why dad hasn't been home much lately? You told him your plan and he refused to be part of it, right?" I said knowingly.

"You're dad and I don't see eye to eye on this, but he loves you and wants to do what's best for you."

Without another word, I turned to leave the house for what I swore would be the last time. I was going to find my baby, and then I was going to do anything I had to, in order to raise him on my own.

"Where are you going?" she called after me. When I didn't answer her, she continued. "Bella, you can't take him. Tanya has legal custody so you will be charged with kidnapping, and Edward will be arrested for statutory rape. Bella, I swear to you, all of this has been for your own good. I love you baby, and I want you to have a chance to be a kid again. Just go to this school, and then you'll see how much better it'll be after a few months."

I never turned back towards her, and I refused to respond, but there was no way in hell I'd ever go along with any of it.

I had no idea where my son was, but I couldn't go back home either. So I just wandered around aimlessly for days, sleeping on park benches and stealing chips from the local convenience store. One perk from being the police chief's daughter in a small town, was the fact that no one suspected me of stealing, so it was fairly easy.

But the biggest downfall of being the police chief's daughter in a small town, was the fact that when someone was looking for you, it was hard to hide. A police car spotted me while I was walking in down the street, and found me with stolen items so I was arrested. I stole a few electronics hoping to sell them for some money, but that didn't go over too well with the local police.

"Bella, what were you thinking?" Charlie asked me after seeing me locked up.

But I refused to talk to him. I simply stared at the opposite wall and completely ignored him. I knew he didn't make the decision to give my baby to Tanya, but he did nothing to stop it, so I was angry at him as well. In fact, I was just angry at the entire world, and I didn't know how to make it better.

The next day, a deputy came and took me out of my cell, and brought me to a van outside the station. I didn't know where they were taking me, but after loading me onto an airplane, I realized that it was going to be a place where I'd never be able to reach my son.

After awhile, the plane landed and I was taken to what I concluded was the boarding school my mother wanted to send me to, except it was more like a prison then a school. The sign said '_Chicago Boarding School for Emotionally Troubled Teens'_, and there were bars on all the windows.

Along with normal curriculum, I was subjected to intense therapy sessions which they claimed I needed. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't try to escape. I knew my baby needed me, so I needed to get back to him, but then they started in on the medications. They said they were to calm me and to help with the post partum depression, but really all they did was make me feel like a completely different person.

The other kids at the 'school' somehow managed to sneak drugs and other things inside, and they said they helped counteract the effects of the meds they were doping us with; so, for the first time in my life, I did illegal drugs. I didn't know what I was taking, but I didn't care at that point, as long as it helped with the side effects of the meds.

I was there at that hellhole school for almost a year, but I learned nothing there except the art of drug cocktails, and I spent ninety percent of that time getting high. I never talked to my parents during that time, and I never cared to again. Anthony was still a constant on my mind, so despite the drugs, I remained focused on one thing…getting out, and getting my baby.

Finally, I got a break. I, along with several of the other students , got granted day passes for good behavior, which was absolutely ridiculous. We were all awful, but I wasn't going to question it, and I took that opportunity to run away and hitchhike cross country back to Washington. By that time, I was pretty confident that I could take care of myself and my baby, but nothing could prepare me for what I found by the time I got back to Forks.

I stayed hidden, and tried to wait for the best time to take my son, but when I saw Tanya with him at a park, I was absolutely stunned. Anthony wasn't the infant that he was when I last saw him, I suppose that with being drugged up for so long, I didn't consider the fact that he was growing. Not only was he so much bigger than what I was expecting, but he was also walking….and he had his daddy.

I continued to watch them for awhile, and I soon realized that Tanya and Edward were married, and seemingly happily raising my baby together. And that was also when I heard my son talk for the first time. He called Tanya 'momma', and my heart broke into _a million pieces_ and scattered like dust in the wind.

Tanya had done what I thought was impossible. She took my Edward, and then she took my son. I had nothing left, no home, no future, and absolutely no life left to live.

I turned and walked away, and couldn't even bring myself to look back as I went.

I hitchhiked to Seattle, and over the next few months, I numbly walked around like a homeless drifter until I just couldn't go on anymore. I found a broken glass bottle….and closed my eyes before slitting my wrists.

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><p><strong>OK, wow, that was a doozy. <strong>

**Let's just say it all together… Tanya and Renee are bitches from hell, and Charlie is a coward. Lol. **

**Thanks for all your support so far, and I'd really appreciate some more ;)  
>Please Review!<strong>


	10. A Decade to Breathe

**She Will Be Loved**

A/N: I know everyone wants to get back to the present day, and we will in the next chapter (and you know I update quickly). I just wanted to give Bella the chance to finish telling her life, but this chapter will bring her all the way until she gets arrested for taking Anthony to Vegas.

When I said that the last chapter was the longest, I was wrong, because this one is longer. lol

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><p>~Chapter 10 – <em>A Decade to Breathe<em>~  
>BPOV<p>

The last thing I thought of before the darkness overtook me, was the image of Edward holding Anthony. I only saw them together briefly, but it was enough to give me peace of mind knowing that Anthony was at least with one of his parents. I had no idea if or when Edward was going back overseas, but there was nothing I could do about that, and I would die with the security of knowing that he would never leave him permanently.

I welcomed death knowing that even though I couldn't be with my son in life, I would always be with him spiritually and there was nothing Tanya could do about that.

But death was a lot louder than I was expecting. In the darkness, there was a strange beeping noise and the murmur of people talking in the distance. I was confused, but then again, no one had ever proved that they had been to heaven and back, so no one could say for sure what it was supposed to be like.

Suddenly, there was a bright light, which definitely made sense. But as my eyes adjusted, I looked around, and realized that I wasn't actually dead. I was in a hospital…and I was pissed.

"Welcome back," a chubby nurse said with a smile.

"No, no, no, no," I muttered quietly to myself. I didn't want to be back, I wanted to die, and it wasn't fair that I was cheated out of it.

Just then, another woman walked into the room, and I could tell by her nametag that she was a psychologist. "Good morning, and how are you feeling?" the woman asked kindly. "I'm Dr. Esme Cullen, and I was hoping I could ask you a few questions," she asked.

"I was supposed to die," I mumbled before looking at me wrists. There was pain from where I cut myself, but the wounds were covered with bandages.

"Yes, but you were gotten to in time," the doctor said softly. "And now, you have a second chance."

"Who got to me?" I asked confused. I had thought that no one was around when it happened, so I was beyond shocked that I was saved.

"A passerby spotted you lying in the street bleeding, so he called an ambulance," she explained. "Now, you didn't have any ID, so can you tell me your name?"

I shook my head no.

"Can you at least tell me how old you are? We can fingerprint you if you don't cooperate."

But I still didn't answer. The last thing I wanted was for them to find out I was a minor and call my parents; if I never saw them again, it would still be too soon. Even just thinking about them made me even angrier then I already was, and I briefly thought about finding a gun and killing all of them in their sleep. I had slit my wrists with the positive image of Anthony and Edward together, but at that moment, I was furious about that too. Edward may have been drunk that night, but when he left, he took my entire life with him. I lost everything, and I blamed him as much as Tanya and my parents. If it were possible to lock the four of them up in a house and blow the whole thing up, I would have. I would take my son, and we'd never look back.

"Ok, well, I guess I'll have someone come up here with the fingerprinting kit," Dr. Esme said because I refused to talk to her anymore.

The moment she left I pulled my IV out, the way I had done after my son was born, and I searched for something to dress in.

"Leaving so soon?" a deep voice asked from the doorway.

I looked up to see a_ woman _standing there, and I was absolutely stunned. I had never seen a cross dresser before, but I was positive that's what she was…or he was…or…whatever.

"Who are you?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm the person who saved your life. Who are you?" he/she asked.

"I'm the person you should have let die," I said bitterly and then continued to look for my clothes. Finally, in a cabinet by the door, I found them so I started to get dressed. I didn't even care that the man/woman was in the room, I needed to get out of there before they figured out who I was.

I walked right out of the room and then a nurse saw me, so she called for someone to restrain me, but there was no way I'd let that happen. I ran for it, but just when I thought I was out, a security guard grabbed me from behind. I tried to kick and scream to get away from him, but the guy was huge and fighting was pointless. Out of nowhere, I heard a loud thump, and the security guard let go of me before dropping to his knees and falling over.

"What the…?" I said while looking at him on the ground, and then I saw the cross dresser standing behind him holding a nightstick.

"Hum, and I didn't even break a nail," he/she said smugly while looking at her hand.

"How'd you get the stick from him?" I asked confused knowing the nightstick had to have come from the security guard.

"Honey please. I can take any item off of any man's body, without him knowing it," she said with a smirk.

"Thank you," I said sincerely. "But he could really be hurt, maybe we should get him some help," I suggested.

"He's at a hospital," she said carelessly, and then grabbed my arm and led me away from the hospital.

"Where are we going?" I asked confused.

"Well, by the smell of those clothes, I'd say you didn't have any other place to go, so I'm taking you home with me. I'm Jacob, by the way."

"Jacob?" I asked suggestively while gesturing to_ her _outfit.

He looked down at himself. "Oh, am I Jaclyn today? Sometimes I forget who I dressed as in morning," he said while shaking his head.

"Look, I appreciate you wanting to help me, but I don't have any plans on hanging around for much longer," I told him…her.

"Honey, I know that whatever happened to you seems bad right now, but give it some time, it's not worth ending your life over."

"I just can't live like this anymore," I said hopelessly.

"Baby doll, you can't be any older than twenty, you have your entire life ahead of you to make things right."

"I'm sixteen," I said quietly. I wasn't sure why I told him that, but for some reason, I didn't feel so alone in that moment.

"Oh goodness, I'm going to get charged with _contributing with the delinquency of a minor_…or maybe kidnapping," he mumbled to himself. "Tell me sweetie, what could be so wrong in your life that made you want to kill yourself?" he asked.

"It's a long story," I said to him quietly.

"Well, I got time," he said with a smile, and reluctantly, I found myself going with him to his apartment.

It was a small place, but it was clean and protection from the cold and rain, so it felt really good to be there. I unexpectedly found myself pouring my heart out to the stranger, and he held my hand the entire time. I didn't know how or why Jacob decided to rescue me, but that's exactly what he did. He convinced me that one day the truth would come out, and even if it was many years down the road when my son was an adult, he would come looking for me. I needed to be there if or when Anthony wanted to know the truth from my mouth, and if I was dead, he would never get that peace.

"The truth _always_ comes out," Jake said slowly.

Jacob and I quickly became like family, although, I knew he would never betray me the way my real family had done. His family disowned him when they found out he was a cross dresser, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Their loss."

I took his words to heart, and I tried to clean myself up. Jake got me some new clothes, and a new attitude on life. I didn't want to be a pathetic loser forever, I wanted to do something with my life, because if Anthony ever did come looking for me, I didn't want him to be horrified at what he found.

I got a fake ID and a job as a waitress, but as the years passed, I would often find my depression seeping back in.

I never sought out the drugs, but I somehow always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some of the other waitress where I worked were getting high in the back alley, and as much as I pretended I was ok most of the time, the thought of not feeling the pain, even for a few hours, was too good to pass up so I joined them. I ended up passing out back there, and once again, I found myself waking up in a hospital.

"Good morning," a familiar face said.

"Ugh!" I shouted angrily. I wasn't trying to kill myself, so the fact that someone called an ambulance and I ended up in the hospital, just pissed me off.

"Well, I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I'm Dr. Esme Cullen," she said with a smile.

It had been a couple years since I was last there, so I was surprised that she remembered me, but I definitely remembered her.

"So, here's what we're going to do. You are going to tell me your name, and I'm going to demand that you come in for weekly appointments, or I'll have you committed."

So, it was easy to tell which one I chose. They wouldn't let me leave until they verified my name, but since I was finally eighteen, they couldn't force me to go back to my parents. But I was required to go to weekly therapy appointments, which I seriously thought about skipping out on, but they were free so I figured they might actually help.

"So Bella, your chart says that you're a runaway. Is that true?" Esme asked during my first appointment.

"Wouldn't you run away too if your parents sent you off to a jail, and called it a boarding school," I said with attitude.

"Can we talk about that? Tell me why you were sent to that school in the first place," Esme asked.

I shrugged. "I got caught stealing stuff, so since my dad's a cop, he decided to send me there instead of making me do jail time. But it really wasn't much different," I said carelessly.

"And how did that make you feel?" she asked softly.

"Peachy," I said with an obviously fake smile.

"Bella, if you don't try to open up to me, then I can't help you," she told me.

"Look, you said I had to come to these things or else I'll be committed, or arrested, or whatever the hell, so here I am. But that's as much as I'm doing. I have no desire to talk about this shit with you, or anyone else. Can I leave now?"

I actually really wanted to tell Esme everything, she seemed like a genuinely nice person, but I had been so burned by people I was supposed to be able to trust, that I just didn't know how to let go of my secrets. I told Jacob, but he was like my lifeline at that time, and I refused to ever speak of it again.

"You know, I spoke to your mother on the phone," she said surprisingly.

"Why?" I asked bitterly.

"Well, I thought it would be nice to let your parents know that you're at least alive. I was hoping to set up a meeting with you and your parents, but…"

"But, she had no desire to come 'talk it out'," I assumed sarcastically.

"They had obligations that they couldn't miss, but I'm hoping that they can make it another time. Your mom did sound happy to know you were safe though," Esme said.

"Well, doesn't that make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside," I said annoyed. "Can I leave now?"

I left the session, but that wasn't the last time I saw Dr. Esme Cullen. I went to a few more appointments, but over the years, I was forced to meet with her anytime I got into any trouble. We never even scratched the surface of my issues, but it was a strange comfort knowing that she was going to keep trying. She was basically a stranger to me, and yet, I could feel more compassion from her during our brief times together, than I ever felt from my own mother.

I had my ups and downs over the years, although my ups were never very high, and my downs were so low that I would end up buried below ground, until I could somehow manage to claw my way out by remembering the reasons why I was still hanging on.

I had moments of happiness in my life. Jacob and I would stay up late and pop popcorn and talk about our dreams. I didn't have many, but he wanted to be a show girl, so we promised each other we would go to Vegas together one day. I had no idea what I would have done without Jake, he saved my life in more ways than one and I thanked god for him every day. He was not only my best friend, but he was my father and mother as well. He was everything I needed him to be, and he was always there for me, even when I fell off the wagon.

I basically walked through life in a constant state of clouded awareness. I went through all the motions, but I wasn't really living, I just existed. But I fell hard again around the time of my son's tenth birthday. I tried not to keep track of the passing years, but it was next to impossible not to. I knew every painful year that I wasn't allowed to hold him in my arms, and knowing an entire decade had passed, was just too hard to deal with on my own, so I turned to drugs yet again.

I had been living in that city for a long time, and I knew exactly where to go to stay away from the drugs, and I also knew all the places where drugs were plentiful and they sold them at a cheap rate.

I spent several weeks in my latest stint with drugs, but I was already on thin ice at my job so I needed to be careful. Ben, from _Ben's Bar_, was very forgiving with me so I was lucky, but I knew he was getting tired of my shit. So I would spend my nights getting high, then sleep all morning, go to work in the evenings during the busy hours, and then get high again. Jacob was worried about me, but he knew my routine; I just needed some time to work through my internal struggles, and then I would clean myself up again.

It was after one particularly long night of getting high that my world changed again…

I had taken a new cocktail that I had never tried before, and I ended up passing out which caused me to overstay longer than I had planned. By the time I came to, it was already the afternoon so I really needed to get home to get cleaned up. I was minding my own business, dazedly waiting for the bus, when out of nowhere Edward Masen reentered my life.

Seeing Edward at that time, was so surreal that I wasn't even sure if he was really there, or if his image was just a nasty side effect of the drug.

"Edward?" I asked groggily. The sun was far too bright that day, so it made my head pound relentlessly and I couldn't think straight.

"Yeah. Wow, I can't believe it's really you. You look….grown up," he said, which really kind of pissed me off. He forced me to grow up without even knowing it, and it happened a hell of a long time before he could imagine.

"That tends to happen," I said annoyed, and then looked down the street for the bus. I used to dream about seeing Edward again, and I had about a million things I wanted to say to him. But as he was there, standing in front of me, none of it seemed to matter anymore. As angry as I convinced myself that I was, the truth was that deep down I would always love him, and the last thing I wanted was for him to get arrested for statutory rape if the truth ever came out. If I really thought telling him would make a difference, maybe I would have, but it had been so long that there was no way Anthony would want to be with me anymore anyway. I was nothing but a sometimes drug user without a respectable job, and they had a whole happy life together that would never include me.

"How long have you been living here? You know, your parents have been worried sick about you," he said.

"I'm sure," I replied bitterly, and continued to look down the street. I almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculous notion of my parents being worried about me; all they were worried about was their precious reputation.

Edward kept asking me things, and I kept hoping the bus would get there to save me from the brutal blast from my past. But when he asked me to go with him to his hotel, I actually found myself agreeing. I had no idea why, perhaps it was my core need to talk to him some more, to hear any possible thing he might say about my son, but whatever the hell it was, I knew it was definitely going to be a painful experience.

The moment I got to his room, I realized that it was a huge mistake. I couldn't handle it, and I needed to leave…except he wouldn't let me go. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the room. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I didn't want to know either. I didn't want to be anywhere near him at all because I absolutely despised him…and I was still in love with him at the same time, which only made me hate him even more.

_Why did I still feel so strongly for him?_ He was technically my brother in law and he was partially responsible for ruining my life, but no matter how hard I fought it, I still loved him with everything inside me. On the outside however, I was extremely agitated.

After throwing up my latest drug cocktail on the side of the highway, he continued to drive me into Forks, which triggered my fight or flight response. When we pulled up to his perfect fucking house, I tried to run for it, there was no way in hell that he was going to bring me into their love nest. Except, he was much stronger than me, and managed to wrestle me inside.

"That old bat is going to call the police," I told him after one of his neighbors saw him bringing me inside against my will. I was hoping he'd freak and let me go, but he didn't even bat an eye.

I was absolutely flabbergasted when Edward started nailing the door shut in order to keep me inside. But a part of me was grateful for it. I couldn't get out, but that also meant that no one else could get in. I could shut myself off when it came to Edward, but if Tanya showed up, I'd probably end up killing her.

Edward took off down the hall, I wasn't sure what he was doing, but that's when I noticed a picture of Anthony. I felt numb looking at him, like as if I was looking at someone else's kid; although, I supposed it didn't help that Edward and Tanya were also in the picture. I tried so hard not to think of them as a family over the years, and I buried all my emotions for him so deep, that I just didn't know how to feel anymore.

Edward talked, and I answered him absently, but then I moved on to a different picture. The second picture was actually more difficult to bury my emotions with, because it was almost exactly how I imagined them together when I was still pregnant. It was just Edward and Anthony with messy smiles, looking like they were having a great time together, and I couldn't help the tiny grin that escaped my lips from seeing it. For the first time, I felt like Anthony wasn't lost without me, because he was right where he was supposed to be…with his dad anyway. The two of them looked so right together, that there was no way I could imagine them apart after seeing that.

"He looks like you," I told him, which I had always known he would.

"Yeah, he's my mini me….well, he's not so mini anymore."

Edward told me what Tanya had said happened to me, and even though I wasn't surprised at that point, there was just something about the way he said it that made me completely lose it. I had two choices, either cry hysterically, or get beyond pissed. I hadn't cried in years, and I refused to start then, so I chose the latter. I started throwing stuff, trying to break anything I could get my hands on. I hated that fucking house, and everything that went on inside of it. I hated all of Tanya's stupid shit all over, and I just wanted nothing more than a tornado to sweep in and destroy the entire fucking place.

When Edward still wouldn't let me out of the house, I redirected my destruction to him; I lashed out and punched his chest over and over again. I hated a lot of people in my life, but in that moment, he was at the top of my list. Everything about that house was my own personal hell, and he was holding me down in the flames. I wasn't sure if he enjoyed watching me burn there, or if he really thought he was helping me, either way, I needed to find a way to numb myself again.

"Have you seriously forgotten what we used to mean to each other?" he asked me intensely. "You know you were my best friend….I wouldn't even be alive today if it weren't for you."

I wanted to fall in his arms and pour my heart out to him; I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and kiss my forehead the way he always used, but he didn't, and I didn't even know what was in my heart anymore to give to him anyway.

I shut myself off after that. There would be no more screaming, or daydreaming about my son and what should have been. I couldn't live in the past, and there was no moving forward, so I just went back to my stagnant existence. I spent the next few days in that manner, just passing the nothingness of time, waiting until he'd take pity on me and let me go back to my thrillingly vacant life.

Edward asked one more time what happened to me, he wanted to hear my version of the events that drove me from home, but my truth was so far off from what my family had said, that I really didn't think he'd believe me anyway.

But there was one question that I did have for him…"Are you still in love with Tanya?" I asked him. He was obviously flustered by the question, so I already had my answer. I knew he never loved her, he had told me that he didn't, so in a way, I almost felt sorry for him. He was doing what he thought was right by staying with Tanya for Anthony's sake, but what he was really doing, was locking himself in a hell of his own.

"This isn't about me or Tanya, this is about you," he told me, trying to change the subject because he knew I could see through him.

"It's always about Tanya, haven't you learned that by now?" I told him quietly. It was the most amount of honesty that I could give him at that time, I just wished he could somehow understand. "I always thought you would get sick of her eventually, and remember that you actually loved me," I said, regretting the words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

"I never stopped loving you Bella," he told me strongly. "It just became…different."

"Right, you mean Tanya was just more beautiful and had a better body, right?"

"Bella…I…" he said searching for the right words he wanted to say. "You were just a kid," he said finally.

"Whatever," I said to myself. I was just a fucking kid back then, who gave birth to his kid, but I guess that didn't really matter. I knew it didn't matter to my parents, so why should it matter to him. "Look, despite what you think, I do have somewhere to be, so can I leave."

After a ridiculous ordeal of him calling to check on my story about my job, he finally took down the boards and let me out, but then I saw Tanya. She was standing in the doorway, and when she saw me, she looked at me with pure hatred. It took every ounce of self control I had to not rip her hair out, and I was losing that battle. Just when I was about to snap, I saw Anthony…and everything else disappeared.

I just stared at the kid who I didn't know and who didn't know me, and I saw my baby. The pictures didn't do him justice, actually seeing him there in the flesh was a surreal out of body moment that I would never trade for anything. It was just a moment that I didn't even know I needed, but in that moment, I could breathe again. It was like I had been holding my breath since the last time I saw him, and I cherished that moment like it was a sudden rush of air into my lungs.

But he walked past me without even giving me a second glance, and disappeared up the stairs, and then I found myself holding my breath again.

I practically ran out the door after that, and swore to myself that I would never go back again. Of course Edward followed me; he just couldn't seem to let me run from the fire. I was finally able to escape him by saying I'd wait while he got his car, and then I got out of that fucking town for good.

The next few weeks were surprisingly quiet. I shocked even myself for not feeling the need to turn to the drugs. Seeing Anthony alive and healthy, was actually beneficial and kept me sustained for awhile. I knew it was only a Band-Aid for the gaping wound that was still festering inside of me, but I would take any relief I could get at that point. I went to sleep every night with my son's face on my mind, and I woke in the morning feeling a small sense of hope. The world couldn't be completely shitty if it had Anthony in it.

But then another unexpected reunion…

Esme had told me that running could help ease some of the tension of my everyday life, so I often went to the local park to run off some steam when I was having a particularly bad day. I just so happened to have forgotten my water bottle when I left that day, so I decided to stop and get a drink at a vender, when someone tugged on my shirt from behind, so I turned to look to see who it was.

"Hey, aren't you my aunt Bella?"

I was absolutely stunned. Anthony was staring right at me and waiting for an answer, but I forgot how to speak.

"I saw your picture at my grandparent's house. You're her, right?" he asked me again.

I absently shook my head no; I wasn't his _aunt_ Bella, so I wasn't lying.

"Yes you are. I remember the picture, you're her," he insisted.

I looked around and suddenly became worried realizing that he was alone in that park. It wasn't the worst park in the city, but it definitely wasn't one he should have been alone in. I started to panic, and I knew I couldn't leave him alone, so I sucked in my emotions and asked him where his mom was.

"Oh…she's not here, but my dad is over there. Come on, let's go talk to him, he'll prove that you're Bella," he said, but before I could argue, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the basketball courts. His hand in mine was the most amazing feeling I could imagine, we were skin to skin, just like the last time I was able to hold him. I never wanted him to let go, but I knew if I refused to drop his hand, it would probably scare him.

"Dad, isn't this Aunt Bella?" Anthony asked Edward when we reached him. I locked eyes with him, and I was surprised that I didn't feel the truck load of pain I was expecting. I still tried to come up with an excuse to leave, I didn't want to at all, but I had been running for so long, it was hard to figure out a way to take a break. When Edward taunted me with a game of Horse, I used it as an excuse to stay and actually take another breath.

That hour or so that I spent playing with them, had to be the best time of my life. I didn't know moments like that could ever exist for me, and after my time with them was over, I agreed to go to Anthony's hockey game. I knew the more time I spent with them the harder it would be to leave once and for all, but I just couldn't pass up on the chance to see my baby actually playing hockey.

I figured out when his game was, and then I anxiously awaited for that time to come. I swore to myself that it was a onetime thing, and after that night, I would be finished intruding on their lives. When the game was over however, I tried to leave before Anthony could see me there, because I knew I couldn't say no to him if he asked me to watch another game. But he did see me, and he didn't ask me to another game, he asked me to their apartment for dinner instead.

For whatever reason, their condo was much easier to be in then their house in Forks was. They hadn't been living there very long and there weren't pictures everywhere, but the best part of it was the fact that Tanya had hardly ever been there.

Anthony showed me his room and then we all finished cooking dinner together. I couldn't help but think about all the times I had cooked with my dad when I was a kid, and for the first time since I left home, I missed Charlie. He was the best dad when I was young, but after I got pregnant, he just didn't know how to handle it. I was always angry that he never stood up for me after Anthony was born, but I still missed what we had before all that.

"Hey, why'd you do that?" Anthony asked after I put raw egg on his face.

"I thought it would look good there," I said teasingly. My dad and I often ended our cooking with a food fight, and I couldn't pass up on the chance to do it with Anthony, but Anthony obviously didn't get it.

"That has raw egg in it," he said paranoid.

"Oh, you'll be fine," I said slightly upset by his paranoia. Tanya had really screwed with his head, and I'd be damned if I let her get away with it. Esme always told me the best way to get over a fear, was to face it head on, so I smeared two more smudges of egg onto each of his cheeks.

"I could die from that!" he yelled at me.

"You're right," I said apologetically. "We should be putting this on your dad instead," I said with a smile and rubbed the mess all into Edward's perfect hair. I wasn't exactly sure how he'd react, but I figured if Anthony saw his dad not get scared of the mess, he would get over it too.

"Oh, you're dead," Edward said with a smile, and then it was an all out war. Edward was never afraid to play and make a mess when we were kids, and I was happy to see that Tanya hadn't killed that part of him.

After everything was all cleaned up, Edward drove me home for the night, and then he met Jacob. I knew Edward well enough to tell when he didn't like someone, and it was clear he didn't like Jacob, so I said goodbye and quickly pulled Jake into our apartment.

"And so…that was the famous Edward Masen," Jacob said slowly when we got inside. "Cute…in a James Dean sort of way."

"Don't even say it," I said to him knowing he was going to disapprove.

"I didn't say anything," he said innocently. "Your son is adorable, he has your eyes."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, they're an exact match, I can't believe that leech hasn't noticed that," Jacob said coldly.

I knew Jacob didn't like Edward, he never liked him from the moment I first told him my story. He didn't place all the blame on him for what happened to me, but just the fact that he was dating my sister after what we meant to each other, just seemed to make Jacob see red. I actually agreed, but I could never bring myself to really hate him.

"Leech?" I asked surprised by his adjective of Edward.

"All that guy has ever done to you, is take and take. You saved his life when he was a kid, then you were the one to comfort him when his parents died, and what did he ever do to you? Hum, let's see, he fucked your sister, and ruined your life. Yeah, I'd call him a leech."

I smiled at Jake. Despite his negative attitude towards Edward, I knew he just had my best interests at heart. He was very protective of me, and I would forever be grateful for him. "I thought you weren't going to say anything?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry…couldn't help it," he said sheepishly.

I smiled again and then kissed his cheek before going to bed….but that's when the depression set back in. I got a chance to not only see my son, but I talked to him and played with him. I heard his voice and saw him laugh and even get upset. It was everything I wished I could be there for him for, and yet, I couldn't continue to see him. He didn't belong to me anymore, and he never would again. If Tanya ever found out that I had been spending time with him, it could end very badly. She could make their lives a living hell, and even have Edward arrested for rape, and I couldn't let that happen. Anthony needed Edward, without him, Tanya would kill his entire soul.

I went from the ultimate high, to as low as I had ever been before, and once again, I turned to drugs to cope. But with the amount of pain I was in, the usual stuff just wasn't doing their job anymore, so over the next couple of weeks, I turned to harder more potent drugs…and once more, found myself in a hospital bed.

_Fuck._

I rolled over, and was completely floored to see Edward sitting in a chair next to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked me.

"Like shit," I replied.

Esme came in at that point, but I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't try to kill myself, but I guess at that point, I really didn't care if I died. Edward followed Esme out for whatever reason, and I went back to sleep.

Since they couldn't prove that I tried to kill myself, I was released the next afternoon, but Edward was there waiting for me. He asked me to come stay with him, and even though I basically told him to fuck off, the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was a good idea.

"I'll give you this week to try to…_save me_, or whatever you feel is necessary, but you can't tell my parents or Tanya and you need to make sure Anthony doesn't either"…. "And I need you to let me go."

He didn't understand my conditions, I wasn't even sure if I understood them, but I needed him to agree otherwise I wouldn't be able to spend the week with him. Tanya couldn't know about it, I couldn't let her use it to separate Anthony from his father by having Edward arrested the way I knew she would. And I would take that week, live a lifetime's worth with Anthony and Edward, and then I would leave and never come back. I would bring those memories with me everywhere I went for the rest of my life. Maybe my life would really end afterwards, but I would be ok with that knowing I had my moment with them.

And my time with them was perfect. Not only did I get to spend the days playing the role of mom for once in my life, but I spent the nights wrapped up in Edward's arms. I didn't plan on sleeping with him, but as my lips found his in the darkness, I just didn't know how to stop. He was kissing _me_, touching _me_, and not once did he think I was Tanya.

"I..I don't have.." he paused to mumble, and that's when a different thought occurred to me.

"It's ok, I don't have any diseases and I take the pill," I said half truthfully. I had taken the pill in the past, but I knew with the medication given to me in the hospital, that it wouldn't be affective. The timing was even right, I could get pregnant again, it would be simple. I could get back what was taken from me, and no one could take it away again. I wanted it then, I _needed_ it like I needed to breathe. I needed to feel Edward's baby inside of me again, to look into the eyes of our child and have him looking back at me knowing I was his mother. It was the only way I could survive beyond that week.

We made love, and it was everything I dreamed it would be. He wanted me, and when it was over, he wanted me again. We made love every night, and during the day, we'd kiss and touch whenever Anthony wasn't watching us. It was an oasis of heaven, right in the middle of the hell that was my life.

But then my perfect week ended. I wanted to stay and tell him everything, I wanted to fight for them, but I just didn't know how.

"Are you sure you still want to go?" Jacob asked me when I met him at our apartment to leave for Vegas.

"No," I said with a heavyhearted smile. "But…I can't stay either. They don't belong to me anymore. I was just borrowing them for a little while," I told him brokenly.

Jake smiled sympathetically, and then hugged me tightly. "Come on, time for me to become a star showgirl, and for you to be my lackey," he said jokingly.

I giggled despite my heartache and said, "Can't wait."

Jake and I got another apartment together, and he got a job dancing in the big time stage show 'It's a Drag'. It was one of those types of shows that serves dinner during the performance, so I got a job there as a waitress. It was monotonous work, but at least the queens there were fun and entertaining. On top of my waitressing job, I also worked at Caesars Palace at one of the gift shops.

And then, I started getting the morning sickness again. I knew right away that I was pregnant, and at first I was beyond happy, but then reality stepped in and bonked me in the head like a sledge hammer….or rather, extra large high heel pump.

"You have to go back and tell Edward," Jacob insisted.

"I can't. If Tanya finds out…"

"So what?" Jacob said taking me aback.

"She could have Edward arrested," I said slowly. "And she has custody of Anthony, so she would end up raising him alone."

"Baby, that bitch would never have Edward arrested," he said.

"Of course she would, that's the kind of person she is," I told him.

"I understand that, but that would mean she would have to admit that she took him from you. Edward doesn't know you're his mother, and that's the last thing Tanya wants. Imagine that sleepy little town all abuzz with gossip about 'Tanya the Baby Thief'. She would be completely blacklisted, and she knows it. She'll only have Edward arrested if you expose her, right? I know it's not the best thing in the world, but go back there, marry the guy as soon as the ink is dry on his divorce papers, and then raise your children together. You won't get to be Anthony's momma, but you can be his step mom, and see him whenever you want."

I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. Jacob never even met Tanya and he knew the way she worked. He was absolutely right, if Tanya had Edward arrested, it would only bring the truth out, and that was the last thing she wanted. Edward told me that he was divorcing her anyway, so why couldn't he move on with me.

Jacob let me borrow the car he had just bought, and I drove as fast as I could back to Washington. I made a couple resting stops along the way, but I got to Seattle within a couple days, and my heart was racing in anticipation of seeing them again….except they weren't there. So I went to Forks, and gathered all my courage to knock on the door of the house he shared with Tanya.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here," Tanya said the moment she saw me.

"Hi sis, good to see you too," I said mockingly. I really didn't care about her in that moment, I was about to get my family back, and there was nothing she could do about it. I wasn't strong enough to stand against her when I was younger, but I was not going to let her bring me down again.

"Edward isn't here, and he's not coming back anytime soon," she said heartlessly.

"Ok, fine." I turned to leave thinking he was staying with one of his friends because of their divorce, but then she called after me.

"He reenlisted. Four more years of active duty; shipped out last week."

"What?" I felt like I was just stabbed in the gut. It was déjà vu, Edward was gone and I was pregnant with no way to hold onto Anthony. Without Edward, Tanya would never let me see him, and I just couldn't handle that. After being so excited and thinking I was finally going to be able to be in my son's life to stay, I just couldn't bear the thought of losing that again.

I drove aimlessly, not knowing where to go or what to do with myself, and then I saw him. Anthony was just standing there in the rain waiting for a bus. I didn't even think, I just acted.

"Hey Anthony," I said with a smile.

"Aunt Bella, you're back!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah, I came back to see if you wanted to come on vacation with me," I lied. I hated lying to him, but I hated the idea of Tanya raising him alone even more.

"I have to ask my mom first," he said unexpectedly.

"Oh…I already did, she said it was ok," I told him quickly.

"Really?" he asked skeptically. He was a smart kid, he knew Tanya wouldn't normally agree to something like that.

"Yeah, and she even gave me some money to buy you some new clothes while we're there," I told him.

"Cool," he said excitedly and jumped into the car, and away we went.

We dove all day and when we stopped in a hotel for the night, we jumped on the beds and played guessing games. I took him to see the Grand Canyon and the World's Largest Frying Pan, and then towards the end of the week, I drove back to Vegas. I was nervous about bringing him there because of all the police, but I was out of money so I needed help.

"Oh Bella," Jake said when I showed up at 'It's A Drag' with Anthony.

"I know this is bad, but I couldn't just leave him there with her," I said desperately after distracting Anthony with a large soft pretzel.

"So, what's the plan?" he asked supportively.

"I need you to watch him for a couple hours while I get some money."

"And how are you going to do that?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to go whore it out on the corner," I said. Jacob gasped, but I just laughed. "Jake, I'm kidding."

"Ok, what then?" he asked.

"I have a pay check that's coming to me from Caesars. It's not much, but it should get us away from here so I can have time to think of my next move."

"Well, I have two thousand you can have," he said.

"No, Jake, I'm not going to take your money. We'll be fine, I'm not scared anymore and I'll figure it all out," I assured him.

"Ok sweetheart, I'll watch your boy for as long as you need."

"Thanks. I owe you everything," I said with a kiss to his cheek.

I went to pick up my check, but the manager wouldn't be back until the next evening, so I didn't have a choice but to wait. I went back to 'It's A Drag' and had to laugh at Anthony's reaction to the place.

"Bella, I don't know if you know this or not, but all these women…are really men," he said quietly. Everyone was getting ready for the evening show, so people were all moving about and Anthony had just been watching wide eyed at the entire thing.

"I know Buddy," I said lightly. "But they're all very nice."

"So…is Jacob really a guy dressed as a girl, or was he a girl dressed as a guy when I met him before?" Anthony asked hesitantly.

I had no idea how to explain drag queens to a ten year old, but I gave it my best shot. "Jacob is a man who likes to perform as a woman," I told him unsure of what else to say. Anthony thought about it, but then he shrugged it off; I guess it just didn't really matter to him. They were shorthanded that night, so I offered to work since I needed the money. Anthony just hung out back stage and watched all the comings and goings around him. I felt bad for keeping him there like that, but it was something I just had to do. He stayed quiet for the most part, but after awhile he lightened up and even began talking to people other than me.

"How do you walk in those?" Anthony asked Jake while looking at his pumps.

"With class, honey," Jacob said with a wink as he waited for his turn on stage.

"Kids really shouldn't be here," another of the waitress said bitterly while she brought drinks to the dancers. I didn't know her very well, but she always seemed pretty bitchy.

"Well Rosalie, I don't really have a choice right now," I told her with attitude

"Why not? And why the hell isn't he in school?" she questioned. "What kind of person drags a kid his age to a place like this?"

"The kind with no other options," I insisted and then walked away from her.

I went about my work, and checked on Anthony every fifteen minutes or so. It wasn't that I was worried about him; I just kept looking at him in complete awe. I had already spent a few days with him, but I just couldn't get over the fact that he was really there with me. I had my son back, and I would do anything possible to hang on to him.

One of the queens gave Anthony a handheld electronic game to play, so he was pretty engrossed in it. He ate chili fries for the first time, and excitedly drank the virgin blended margarita I had the bar tender make up for him. I knew I couldn't always give him junk food, but it was a treat and I wanted him to have fun.

Since I was still waiting for my check, I asked to work the matinee show the next day, which Anthony actually seemed excited about. I knew it was nothing like he had ever seen before, and the controlled chaos of it all was very interesting.

"Bella, how long is this vacation going to be for?" Anthony asked me during one of my breaks on the second day.

"Are you getting homesick?" I asked with a forced smile.

"No…but I wish my dad was here with us," he said softly.

"Me too," I said honestly.

"Hey Bella," Rose said to me from behind. "I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Yeah?" I asked her curiously after following her into the next room.

"Look, last night…my roommate Irina and I were watching the news, and…we saw Anthony," she said hesitantly. "Look I don't know your situation with him…if it's a custody thing or whatnot, but I just wanted to warn you that Irina left to go tell them where you are."

"Are you kidding?" I asked in a panic. "So, there are probably cops on their way here now?"

"Here, take this," she said and pulled out a wad of cash.

"No, I can't take that," I said, confused as to why she was helping me.

"I know what it's like to have a child taken away, and I don't think any mother should experience that," she said quietly.

"How do you know I'm not the one who did the taking?" I asked her curiously.

"Well, one, he looks like you…and two, I can see how much you love him. I'm sorry if I was acting like a bitch before, I was just trying to figure you out…and I'm pretty sure that I have."

"Thanks Rose, but I still can't take your money," I said to her.

"Yes, you can. You can't wait for your check and you need it. Please. I couldn't take care of my daughter, so just let me do this for you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you. As soon as we get to wherever we're going, I'll pay you back," I said and then tentatively gave her a hug.

"Don't worry about it, just go," she said quickly.

I nodded and then went back to get Anthony.

"Hey, it's time to get back on the road," I told him with a reassuring smile so I wouldn't worry him.

"Ok…where are we going next?" he asked.

"Uh….how about Florida?" I thought on a whim.

"Really? Can we go to Disneyworld?" he asked excitedly.

"Heck yeah. And Universal Studios, too," I said as enthusiastic as possible while we walked to the parking garage. Jake told me to use his car until it was safe, and then he'd fly out to us and drive his car back. I had really gotten lucky. Without his help, and Rose's for that matter, I never would have made it.

"Bella, when we get to Florida, can I call my dad? I haven't ever been this long without talking to him before," Anthony asked.

"Uh…well, I don't know the number to wherever he's based," I said regretfully. I was having a hard time finding Jake's car, but our conversation was making it even more difficult.

"Based? My dad said he was going to stay with Emmett when he moves back to Forks. He was away on a business trip, but he should be back by now," he said, making me stop in my tracks.

"Anthony, your mom said he was in the military," I said slowly, hoping he just forgot.

He scrunched his face up confused. "No, he hated being in the military. Besides, he said it was just too hard being away from me like that, so he would never go back."

I closed my eyes in horror as I slowly realized what I really did. Tanya lied. Of course Tanya lied, how could I have expected anything different than that? I didn't take him from her; she probably didn't even care, in fact, she was probably happy to get people's sympathy. I took Anthony from Edward, and I absolutely hated myself for it.

"We have to go now," I told him quietly, and frantically started looking for the car again.

As much as I hated what Edward must have been going through, I still couldn't bring myself to give Anthony back. I waited too long, and worked too hard to get him. So I decided to just call Edward and tell him that Anthony was ok….but that's when I saw the police cars entering the garage.

I grabbed Anthony's arm and took him quickly back inside, but there were police coming in through the showroom as well.

"Bella, go out the back," Rose said to me in a rush. It was the last exit left, and it led to a back alley.

"Thanks," I said and tried to go out that way…but it was actually blocked, and I knew there was nowhere to run.

"Bella, why are there so many police everywhere?" Anthony asked worriedly.

"Everything is fine," I assured him as calmly as possible so he wouldn't be scared. "Let's go back inside," I whispered to him.

"What's going on?" he asked me again. He wasn't a baby; he knew something was very wrong.

"I need you to just sit here, and when the police ask you to go with them, just don't be afraid. Ok?" I told him quickly. He looked confused but nodded, so I kissed his hair and whispered 'I love you', before backing towards the door to the parking garage again. Rose was in the room and she understood what was happening, so she nodded to me so I knew she wouldn't leave him until the police took him away. The place was surrounded, so I knew there was no way out and I just didn't want Anthony to see me get arrested.

It all happened so fast. One minute we were talking about going to Florida, and the next I was being taken into custody.

I was finally defeated once and for all, and I knew there was no getting out of it. I kidnapped a child and took him across state lines, and if Tanya had any say in it, I wouldn't get out of jail until I turned eighty. The only hope I had left was that Edward didn't get swallowed by more of my sister's lies, and he ended their marriage permanently. Anthony would always have to spend time with her, but I prayed that once our second child was born, it wouldn't be subjected to a life with Tanya as well. I would never get a chance to be a mother to either of my kids; I just didn't want Tanya to be either.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know there is a statute of limitations for rape cases, and ten years is beyond that, but remember that Bella is a HS dropout and she doesn't know the law. **

**If you want to check out a pic of Jaclyn/Jacob, check my profile and click on: She Will Be Loved – Vegas**

***Back to the present, next.**

**Please Review**


	11. Revelations

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 11 –_Revelations_~  
>BPOV<p>

When you've hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up….

When I was put in the jail cell, I felt completely dead inside. I lost everything again, and I only had myself to blame. I was reckless, and I took Tanya's word when I should have checked her story and made sure Edward was really back in the military. Even if he was really overseas however, I probably would have still ended up in jail, but had I known she was lying, I would have never taken Anthony in the first place. I knew Anthony loved Edward more than anybody, and I really was happy about that. I just prayed I didn't emotionally scar Anthony for the rest of his life.

When Edward came in to question me, I completely shut off again. At that point, the truth was like a childhood fairytale; something I knew, but didn't really believe anymore. I had invented so many lies over the years that it was hard to see through the haze they caused, in order to focus on something real.

But Edward actually defending Tanya was like a hard kick to the face... "Tanya may be a shitty mother, but she loves him in her own way, and you have no right to take a child from his parent. …" he said agitatedly.

"She's NOT HIS MOTHER!" I screamed out, I couldn't help it. There he was, feeling sorry for Tanya because I took her child from her, when the truth was the exact opposite. She took my baby, but no one was ever pissed at her for it, in fact, my mother even said she was proud of her. I was so angry that I was literally seeing red. In that moment I couldn't remember the reasons why I kept myself from telling him the truth for so long, in that moment I just needed to be heard. I didn't know what would happen to him as far as the rape charge would go, but I just prayed that Tanya would be satisfied enough just having me behind bars, that she would have a little mercy and compassion for him. Even if I was positive he'd end up in jail however, I couldn't stop the outpour of truth once the flood gates were cracked. It was impossible to undo what had been done, and I knew both of our lives would never be the same.

…But of course, Edward didn't believe me. But why should he believe me? My story was ridiculous, and he had been living in their lie for almost a decade. Since the truth was finally out though, I became suddenly desperate for him to believe me.

"I'm not lying to you, Edward," I told him, but he still wouldn't listen. I used to always wonder what Edward would say if he ever learned the truth, but I never imagined that he would refuse to even consider the possibility of it being true.

"Why are you saying this, Bella?" he asked completely closing himself off from my story. "Anthony looks just like me, everyone says it. If Tanya stole Anthony, then he wouldn't look like me."

And that's when I realized why he was resisting the truth, he thought I was telling him that Tanya stole him randomly, which would make him not really his son. Edward was an amazing father and he loved Anthony with a fierceness; he loved him enough to stay in a horrible marriage making his life miserable because he thought it was what was best for his son, and he thought my truth meant he would lose him.

"I never said he wasn't yours," I said calmly, looking him straight in the eye.

"How is that possible?" he asked me desperately. "How could he be mine and not hers?"

"Because he's mine," I blurted out.

"Bella YOU NEED TO STOP!" he yelled. I thought it would be a relief to finally have the truth out, but the fact that he still didn't believe me, made me angry…and desperate.

"NO! I've held this in for too long, and I'm not going to do it anymore," I said forcefully. The words were like glass in my mouth, and if I had to chew on them, I'd make damn sure it was worth it and he believed me. "You wanted me to tell you what happened to me; well that's what I'm doing. You were drunk off your ass at that fucking party and you thought I was her. I was in her bed because there were people fucking in my room, and you went in there and stumbled your way to me, and then you fucked me."

"You're sick, you know that," he said frantically in disbelief. "You really need help."

And then, I exploded. "I cried for a fucking week straight after that. It hurt like hell but I was so in love with you that I didn't even care, but then you were just gone afterwards. I was so freaked out that I didn't talk to anyone for days. I realized that I was pregnant a few months later, but I hid it because I was too scared to tell anyone. When my parents finally found out, it was too late for an abortion, but leave it to my _loving older sister_ to have the perfect fucking solution. They didn't even ask me; I gave birth to him and they gave him right to her, as if I was nothing but a fucking incubator. They said if I ever told anyone, you would go to jail for statutory rape, so for almost eleven years now, I kept my fucking mouth shut."

He looked sick…literally. I really thought he was going to vomit right then and there, which made me feel ten times worse than I already did. My entire body was trembling as the adrenalin pumped through my veins, numbing the wave of hurt his reaction caused me. I had been holding on to that for so long, trying like hell to contain it as it boiled just below the surface, and then it erupted taking us both out in its path.

He turned to leave, but I couldn't let him go without telling him that I was pregnant for the second time with his baby. Edward was a father first and foremost in his life, so I knew that if anything would make him wait in that moment, it was knowing the fact he was going to have another child.

By that point, I wasn't trying to get him to forgive me, I just needed to beg him take care of my children. I knew giving birth while being an inmate would basically mean that they would take the baby away from me quickly, and give it to social services unless its father was available to care for it. So Edward needed to be ready to raise a second child, and I needed him to assure me that Tanya wouldn't get her greasy hands on it. But more importantly, I needed him to assure me that he would tell both of our kids how much I love them, and that I was extremely sorry for the reason I was absent in their lives. I knew he would care for them and love them like no other, but I was desperate to not be forgotten again, and I never wanted them to think that I didn't love them more than anything.

But Edward couldn't make me any assurances. He wouldn't promise me that he would tell our children that I loved them, and for the first time since I first lost Anthony, I cried. I broke down and sobbed on the jail floor. It was more painful than any physical pain I ever felt, and I didn't know how I would get through the next few hours, little alone a life in prison. I was completely defeated, and I had nothing left inside of me to keep fighting with.

I cried for hours, broken and distraught in my jail cell. I cried for all the years I lost with Anthony, and I cried for all the years I would miss with both of my children. I cried for Edward, and I even cried for my lost family. As much as I hated them currently, I missed the way things were. I missed the Sunday mornings when my dad and I would make omelets, I missed the way my mother would comb out my hair and tell me that she wished she had hair like mine; hell, I even missed the times when Tanya would lay across my bed on her stomach, and do my nails. I missed the time when life was simple and calm. I missed normalcy…whatever that meant.

After my hours of tears were over, I dried my face and sat up, ready to face whatever life had in store for me. I couldn't continue to feel sorry for myself, I had to accept it and find some strength for the child still inside me. Like when I was pregnant with Anthony, I knew I wasn't alone because I carried my baby with me everywhere I went. Prison was going to be difficult, and if I didn't find some courage, then I would be swallowed whole.

I wondered how long I was going to be kept in that tiny cell; it wasn't a long term prison, so it was only a matter of time until I was transferred to wherever I would serve out my sentence. But after I was forced to spend another long cold night in that room, I got another visitor.

"Hey kiddo," Charlie said quietly. "It's been a long time."

I was absolutely flabbergasted to see my father after so long. I didn't understand why he would go all the way to Vegas to see me in jail, when he never once tried to come to any of my psychology appointments Esme tried to bring them in on in Seattle. I didn't understand it, but I didn't question it either. I wanted to reach through the bars and ask him to hold me the way he used to whenever a nightmare terrified me, but I wasn't a little girl anymore, and I wasn't having a nightmare.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bitterly.

"I tried to come yesterday, but Edward took my timeslot," he said with a heavy hearted smile. "He didn't look too happy when he came out of here, and he packed up Anthony right away and took off for Washington," Charlie explained distantly. "Tanya said he threatened her to stay away from Anthony. I suppose that's the way it should be."

"You _suppose_," I said sarcastically. "She should have never had him in the first place."

"Bella, I know that none of this matters anymore, but I am so sorry for what happened to you. I didn't know what to do, or how to handle the fact that my fifteen year old daughter was going to have a baby, so I did the worst thing a father could possibly do, I checked out. I didn't know how to be at home anymore, so I spent as much time at work as possible just to escape the fact that I had completely lost my little girl."

"I wasn't lost… At least not at that point," I told him angrily. "I wasn't a child anymore, but I still needed you and you weren't there."

"I know, and not being there for you during those months was the biggest mistake of my life," he said sadly. "It didn't matter that you wanted to give Anthony up for adoption, I should have still realized that it was an extremely emotional thing for you. My sister had a baby when she was seventeen and gave him up, she was sad, but she moved on with her life, and I thought you would too."

"Wait a minute, I never _wanted_ to give Anthony up," I said incredulously.

"Bella, you signed the papers," he said confused.

"No, I didn't. Mom tricked me into signing them. She didn't let me read any of it, and said they were just legal paperwork for the hospital from having the baby. I thought I needed to sign them in order to be discharged with Anthony. "

As I spoke, Charlie's face literally changed color. It went from pale, to bright red, to purple, and then a little green, and back to pale again. "Renee said you were sure when you signed those papers," he said through gritted teeth. "I knew you had a hard time when we brought him home, but I thought that if you really wanted him back, you would have retracted the adoption papers."

"What?" I asked furiously. "How could I have retracted the adoption papers?"

"Bells, your mother explained all this to you…_didn't she_?"

Unable to speak in that moment, I shook my head no.

"There's a period of time when an adoption can be overturned. It gives the birth mother a chance to think about her decision and change her mind if she wanted to. Renee told me she had this entire conversation with you, and that you assured her that you didn't want to keep him yourself. She said you were just happy to have him stay in the family."

"Well, Renee is a lying bitch!" I yelled with tears rolling down my face. I was fifteen at the time and uneducated about the law, and had no idea what my rights were. It was even worse considering that my father was a police officer and yet, I was clueless. I trusted my mother, and she used me. She lied, and didn't even care how badly it hurt.

Charlie looked like he was going to fall over from the gravity of realizing that Renee had lied to us both, so he stumbled to a chair, and sat down before burying his face in his hands.

"Why didn't you come when Esme called you to meet with me?" I asked through my angry tears.

He looked up at me and shook his head subtly. "Who's Esme?" he asked confused.

"Dr. Esme Cullen. My psychologist in Seattle," I said slowly.

He shook his head faster then. "Bella, I haven't heard from you since you ran away from that school in Chicago. I had no idea you were in Seattle. Do you really think that if I had known you were there that I wouldn't have gone to find you? I didn't understand why you ran away; the school said you got involved with some troubled kids there and kept getting drugs somehow, and then you ran away with them. I kept thinking that you would come back, that you wouldn't want to leave Anthony entirely, but the longer you stayed away, the more I lost hope of ever seeing you again. It was like you just disappeared, and I felt completely helpless."

"But you went along with it. You stood by and watched Tanya give Edward my baby, and tell him he was hers."

"I thought that's what you wanted. Edward was his father, and if he knew you were really Anthony's mother, things could get very bad quickly," he said quietly.

"I didn't want him to go to jail," I whispered, and then I started worrying again. "Dad, you can't let Tanya have him arrested, he can't be taken away from Anthony."

"Arrested for what?" Charlie asked confused.

"For the rape. He knows everything now, so Tanya is going to have him arrested," I said in a panic.

"Bells, honey, he can't be arrested for that," he told me softly.

"What? Why?"

"One, there's a statute of limitations on all rape cases, and two, in cases like yours, the parents would need to be the ones to press charges," he explained slowly.

"So…so…. So, Edward was never at risk for going to jail?" I asked with a new round of tears.

"Renee talked about having him arrested when it first happened, but it's been a long time since there was the possibility of that."

"But you didn't say anything when she talked about him being put in jail, you just walked out of the room," I said quietly, trying to grasp onto anything I could to keep myself angry at my father. I had hated all of them for so long, that it was hard to let go of even an ounce of it.

"I was angry that she even mentioned pressing charges against him. I mean, the boy just lost his parents and then was overseas and had no idea any of it was happening. So, when she brought up the legalities of it all, knowing I was a cop and would have to follow through with it, I just got angry and left. She was trying to manipulate me, just like she did our entire marriage, and I just couldn't deal with it in that moment. We didn't speak to each other for weeks after that, but Bella, I was a coward and I was never the father you needed, and I'll be sorry about that for the rest of my life. Tanya did the same shit to Edward over the years, but at least Edward didn't put up with it the way I always had."

"He stayed with her," I muttered in disagreement.

"Yeah, because he was worried that if he left, it would just be a hella of a lot harder for Anthony. I didn't leave physically all those years, but I wasn't there emotionally and you paid the price. Edward was at least there for his son every day. What he and Tanya had, wasn't a marriage; he came home from Iraq, and lived in a war zone at home ever since. He somehow managed to shield Anthony from the battles, but it still had an effect on both of them. When I heard they were divorcing, I was surprised, but happy for him. He got out before there could be permanent damage done to Anthony."

"Your marriage to mom had nothing to do with what happened to me," I argued.

"I hoped it wouldn't affect you, but it did. You might have still ended up pregnant, but if I had divorced your mom sooner, then as odd as it sounds, I would have been more active in your life, I would have had to be. I wouldn't have just trusted her to have those conversations with you; I would have made sure I read everything, and been there to be positive that you understood what you were getting yourself into….or out of, in this case. Your mom and I would have had joint custody, so when you were with me, I wouldn't have been able to spend the entire time at work, and I would have some time alone with you to really get to know how you felt… As it was, your mom was always around you at that time, she never really gave me a chance to talk to you when I was home. I'm not making excuses here Bells, and I'm just as much to blame for all of this as she is, but I need you to know how deeply sorry I am for it all."

"Are you still married to her?" I asked absently.

"We divorced five years ago…it should have been fifteen years ago. She has never really had a job, and I don't make enough money to support us separately, so unfortunately we still live together in the house. But we don't speak unless necessary or if Anthony is over visiting."

"You don't need to keep supporting her," I told him.

"I know…I just never had the heart to put her on the street. She's the mother of my only child…"

"I lived on the street for months," I said getting heated again. "And she's not _my_ mother. She's the woman who gave birth to me, but I was nothing more than Tanya's shadow to her. She gave Tanya everything she had, and only threw me the scraps when she was done. Not once did I ever get anything of my own, everything I had was Tanya's hand-me-downs. Edward was mine, but Tanya took him, Anthony was my baby, but Renee just handed him over to Tanya like he was nothing more than one of her gourmet muffins. He was a human being, and they had no right to take him from me like I was nothing. What would have happened to him if Tanya didn't want him? Would I have gotten to keep him then? I wasn't the only fifteen year old to have gotten pregnant in the world, you both could have helped me with him until I was ready to take care of him on my own."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I swear to you that I didn't know you wanted him. She told me…." Charlie abruptly stopped his explanation, and then closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not going to make excuses for what happened to you. You deserved a right to raise your son, and I failed you as your father. If I could go back and make it right, I would. I would do anything to give you back the time you lost, but I can't. I'm so, so sorry…" he said and then broke down and started crying. I never saw my father cry before, and even though it didn't make up for what happened, I forgave him. I needed to forgive him, I needed to let go some of the anger and hatred I had been carrying around for so long because it had become a disease in my life. I was in no way innocent in everything; we all had a part in the mess that we were all lost in, and I had done some things that were unforgivable as well. If I couldn't forgive my father when he was asking for it, then what right did I have to ask for forgiveness from my children when they become old enough to understand?

"We've all done things that were terribly wrong," I told him as I cried with him. "I don't know why I didn't tell Edward who I was when he thought I was Tanya that night. He was drunk, but he wasn't hallucinating. I could have made him realize what was happening, I could have stopped it, but I didn't want to.

"You were fourteen years old," Charlie defended me.

"It doesn't matter. There were a lot of fourteen and fifteen year olds at my school that had been with guys Edward's age. I was a freshman, he was a senior, our age difference wasn't unheard of. I knew what I was doing, I knew he thought I was her, I didn't care. Afterwards, I hid from him. He didn't leave for a few days afterwards, I could have told him the truth, but I didn't."

"You were scared," he tried reasoning.

"Yeah, I was, but that's no excuse….I'm pregnant again," I told Charlie abruptly.

"You are?" he asked horrified at the thought of me being pregnant in jail.

"Yeah, see I can get myself into messes without any help from you or Renee…or even Tanya," I said with a humorless laugh.

"Does the father know?" he asked hesitantly.

"It's Edward, and yeah I told him yesterday."

"Edward? How…when did that happen?" he asked confused.

"We ran into each other in Seattle, and…long story short, I ended up staying with him and Anthony for a week when Tanya was in Italy." I paused and then shrugged with more tears. "I wanted to get pregnant. I was so stupid and thought I could actually fill the hole Anthony left. I told Edward I was on birth control when I knew I could get pregnant….I kidnapped Anthony, and even when I realized that Tanya lied about Edward going back into the military, I still wasn't going to bring Anthony back." I dried my face, but it was no use because the tears wouldn't stop. "You see, I'm not innocent here, and I'm no better than Tanya, I'm worse even. She tried to get pregnant before she knew she couldn't, and then she used Anthony to keep Edward with her. But I tried to get pregnant, and had no intentions of ever telling Edward. I was going to take my baby and leave Edward thinking Anthony was his only child. I actually thought I had a right to do something like that, I actually thought it was only fair since I couldn't be Anthony's mother….I was so, so, stupid. How could I have been so heartless and cruel?"

"Honey, _you_ are not heartless," Charlie said sternly while reaching through the bars to caress my face. "You have had a traumatic life. It would be difficult for anyone to think straight in your situation. It doesn't matter what you were planning to do, what matters is what you _did_ do."

"I got arrested, otherwise, I would have done it," I said full of self-loathing.

"No, you wouldn't have. Look at you. You don't hate yourself right now because you got arrested; you hate yourself because you know it was wrong. You would have brought Anthony home, and you would have told Edward about your pregnancy because you don't have it in you to knowingly hurt people. You are not Tanya, and you are not Renee. You're better than them, always have been, and always will be. Sometimes good people do things that are wrong, and bad people can do the right thing, but it's what they do afterwards that makes the difference. The two of them, they don't have any remorse. They don't care about the people they've hurt, all they care about is what's best for them. Don't ever compare yourself to them again, Bella. You have a good heart, and even though you've been misguided, you have done it all out of love."

"You haven't seen me in a decade, you don't know me anymore," I whispered.

"Of course I do. You have the same heart you have always had, the one that cared for injured animals, and brought blankets and food to a scared boy. It's the same heart that stood by while the person you loved most, broke your heart to be with your sister. The same heart that was still there for Edward despite the pain he caused you, and comforted him when his parents were killed. _You_ were the one who all your friends turned to when they had a problem or were upset about something, and they wouldn't have done that if you weren't the best person they knew. A heart like that doesn't change."

"A lot of good it does me in jail," I said brokenly. "Maybe I can start an inmate caring circle."

"I'm going to get you out of here, Bella, I promise. I failed you before, but I'm not going to do it again," he said with conviction.

"I don't see how you can help dad, we're sort of out of your jurisdiction here," I reminded him.

"I'll figure something out."

"Five more minutes," a guard said suddenly.

Charlie looked at him angrily, and then looked back at me emotionally. "I know that my inactions might make this seem untrue, but I love you more than anything, and I swear to you, I will get you out."

"You know what I just thought of," I said dismissively, not wanting to put any hope into getting out any time soon. "The last time I saw you, I was in jail in Forks, remember?" I said with a heavyhearted smile.

"My hands were tied back then, Bells. You stole a lot of stuff, and I was lucky to be able to get you transferred to that school. But if there was a way to get you out, I would have. I wanted to go and say goodbye to you so badly…I was just such a coward," he said while crying again. "I should have seen it as a cry for help, and not superficial teen rebellion. I'm _so_ sorry."

"It doesn't matter anymore," I said softly.

"Times up," the guard said.

Charlie looked at me with a lifetime's worth of regret, and then he smiled sadly. "You grew up into a beautiful woman, and I'm going to make sure you have a life that's worthy of you. I'll get you out," he said again.

"I love you dad," I told him honestly. Despite everything, I would always love him.

"I love you too, honey," he said sadly, and then reluctantly followed the guard out of the room.

I didn't know how to feel from the sudden heart to heart with my father. I was still angry about a lot of things he did, or_ didn't_ do, but it felt so good to let a lot of it go. I didn't believe he could get me out, but knowing he was trying made me confident that he still cared, and that I wasn't going to be forgotten.

A few more days past and Jake visited me whenever he could, but then I was finally transferred into a more permanent facility to await trial.

"Uh, why am I getting on a plane?" I asked confused as they lead me on board.

"The crime happed in Washington, so you're being brought back there," one of the officers explained.

I was actually happy about the move; just knowing I was in the same state as Anthony again, was a strange comfort. That, and the fact that when my baby was born, it wouldn't have very far to travel home to be with its dad and brother.

When I got to Washington State Penitentiary however, I wished I was back in the Vegas jail. I had a cellmate, and she was an absolute lunatic.

"If you touch any of my things, I will cut you," she threatened me the moment we were alone in our cell.

"I won't touch anything," I said half nervous and half annoyed.

"So, you knocked up?" she asked me pryingly.

"Why do you ask that?" I wondered because I wasn't showing yet.

"This is the special unit wing, so most of the chicks here are knocked up or retarded."

"Which one are you?" I asked her irritated.

She laughed like a smartass. "Neither, I'm underage."

"Then why are you in an adult prison?" I asked her curiously.

"Because I killed someone brutally, so I was convicted as an adult."

"Oh," I said uneasy.

"So, are you knocked up?" she asked again.

"Yeah," I said hesitantly. "Who did you kill?

She smiled sadistically. "My mother, while she was pregnant with my little brother."

"Why?" I asked disturbed.

"Because I don't like pregnant people," she said straight faced.

I looked at her horrified, and automatically shielded my stomach with my hand.

"My name is Jane, by the way. We're going to have a ton of fun together," she said with a smirk.

She was entirely sadistic, and when I met with my public defender that evening, I requested a new cellmate.

"If she killed her mother while pregnant, then why is she rooming with a pregnant person?" I asked in a panic.

"I already had your cellmate checked out, and she didn't kill any pregnant women. She's a chronic liar, but not a baby killer. She was arrested for getting into a fight at her school, and the other girl hit her head and died. She's not even a minor, she's eighteen."

"Oh."

"Don't let these women get to you; you'll probably never hear the truth from any of them."

I nodded, but didn't feel much better.

"So, am I even getting a trial?" I asked after a minute.

"Well, we'll start with a hearing to see if a trial is even necessary. If you are going to fight the charges, then you'll go to trial. But unfortunately the evidence against you is pretty strong, and the judge will go easier on you if you don't push for a trial."

I knew he was right, I knew going to a trial was a waste of time. It didn't matter that Anthony was my son; I still kidnapped him from his legal guardian, so there wasn't anything I could do to get out of it. My only hope was that if I cooperated and told the judge my story, I would get a lighter sentence.

Life in the prison sucked, but I suppose it could have been a lot worse. I was in a special division of the jail, so basically after my baby was born and ripped away from me, I would be moved in with the harder criminals and my life would be nothing but hell from then on….so pretty much, my life wouldn't be much different than what I was used to.

It was prison policy that all new inmates weren't allowed to have any visitors for the first month, so my dad couldn't visit me, but I did get a letter from him the third day I was there. It didn't say anything new, it was just more apologies and his love for me.

I was at the Washington prison for over two weeks, and I had still never heard from Edward. I didn't expect him to send roses and candy, or whispered words of devotion in between the lines of a love letter, but since I was pregnant with his baby, I thought he'd at least write. I just had to accept the fact that he couldn't forgive me, so as much as it hurt, I tried not to hope for any contact from him other than when he came to pick up our baby.

But then, everything changed again….

* * *

><p><strong>Please Review<strong>


	12. Playing the Part

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 12 – _Playing the Part_~  
>BPOV<p>

I was at the Washington prison for over two weeks, and I had still never heard from Edward. I didn't expect him to send roses and candy, or whispered words of devotion in between the lines of a love letter, but since I was pregnant with his baby, I thought he'd at least write. I just had to accept the fact that he couldn't forgive me, so as much as it hurt, I tried not to hope for any contact from him other than when he came to pick up our baby.

But then, everything changed again….

"Your hearing has been moved up," a guard informed me one morning.

"Ok, when?" I asked surprised.

"Now, so get ready."

I thought that was extremely odd. I never heard of a hearing being moved up so quickly, and then not even having a twenty four hour notice ahead of time was beyond strange.

I was taken to the showers and then given an outfit to dress into, before being driven in a van to the courthouse.

I was brought in through a back door and then led down a hallway, and brought to a medium sized conference room. In the room was a large round table, surrounded by a bunch of chairs which were all empty except for a few. The first person I noticed was an official looking man in a suit, which I assumed was the judge by where he was sitting, and the second person I noticed was Charlie.

"Dad?" I said confused.

He stood and gave me a hug. "Hey kiddo," he said into my ear and then let me go so we could sit.

"What's going on?" I asked him, quietly.

The judge cleared his throat, and the other four people in the room took their seats. I looked at each one of them, and recognized three of them. One was my public defender, another was the prison doctor, and the third was Esme Cullen. I smiled a halfhearted hello to Esme, but she didn't return the gesture; she was all business, which worried me a bit. I thought back to all my encounters with Esme and tried to think about what she was going to say, and then I realized that it wasn't going to be good. I was never cooperative during our sessions, I was rude and belligerent on most occasions, and my reason for meeting with her was always related to my drug use and suicide attempts. Yep, I'd say I was screwed when it came to Dr. Cullen.

"Ok, we're here to discuss the case of Isabella Swan, on the charges of kidnapping a minor across state lines," the judge said emotionlessly. "Here today we have Dr. Esme Cullen PsyD, Dr. Kate Grey MD, Public defender Mr. Peter Randal, Prosecutor Stephan Vladimir, and I'm Judge Marcus Vulturinni. Sitting with Ms. Swan is her father Officer Charles Swan, who is the current police chief in the town of Forks."

No one said hello, they just sat there with unreadable expressions and waited for the judge to continue.

"I'd like to begin with stating the facts. Ten Year old Edward Anthony Masen the Third went missing while he waited for his school bus, four blocks from his home in Forks. He was found alive a week later in Las Vegas, Nevada with the help from a tip given by someone who had seen the child. Isabella Swan is the child's birth mother and was found in the same building with the minor. Now Dr. Cullen, you were Ms. Swan's psychologist when she was living in Seattle, can you give us an analysis of her behavior?"

"I've had the privilege of working with Ms. Swan over the past eight years, and I found her to be intelligent and a compassionate young woman," Esme said, shocking the hell out of me. Despite my behavior towards her, I always liked Esme but I never expected her to describe me in that way. "I was beyond shocked when I heard about her arrest, and knowing her, I would have to assume that whatever she did or didn't do, was in her opinion what was best for the child."

The judge turned to me then. "Ms. Swan, I have read your file, which basically states that you gave birth to the child when you were fifteen years of age, and then gave him up for adoption to your sister and the child's biological father."

"I never knowingly signed adoption papers," I said quietly.

"Yes, your father filled me in on those details, but I would like to hear your story from you," the judge said, and then waited while I told my truth the best way I could. I told him every detail from the way I got pregnant, to my mother and sister's betrayal, and then everything that happened afterwards. Everyone sat and listened to me, and I surprised myself by staying strong and not crying, though Charlie did tear up several times. It was difficult reliving all of it, but it also felt good in a way. No one was going to tell me to shut up, and even if they didn't believe my story, it was still out there, and it's not something someone would forget after listening to.

When I was finished, everyone was quiet for a few awkwardly heavy moments, and then finally the judge spoke. "Now, I do believe your story and I definitely feel sympathy, but I am bound by the law and legally, Mr. and Mrs. Masen have custody of the child," he said apologetically. "Now, if you had a reason to take the child other than feeling like you were wronged and that he belonged to you, then it might be different. Suspicion of child abuse has been used as defenses in cases like this, but you said the child was not abused, is that correct?"

"Not physically, no. But I do believe that Tanya's behavior towards him was emotionally abusive," I said defensively.

"Well, I'm sorry, but disagreeing with parenting methods isn't a defense for kidnapping," the judge said gently.

We listened to the prison doctor talk about my pregnancy, and then it was the prosecution's turn to argue against me.

"The Masens were absolutely sick with worry when their son disappeared. They cried for a torturously long week, having no idea if their son was dead or alive, and the emotional damages of this event will remain with them for many years to come. No parent should be forced into that situation. Ms. Swan has no legal rights to the child, and therefore she should be punished with the full extent of the law."

The judge nodded slightly and then turned to look at Charlie regretfully. "Chief Swan, we have known each other for a long time and I respect you immensely, which is why I agreed to move this hearing up so quickly for you, but there's really not much I can do here. You know just as well as I do, that the law doesn't always seem fair or take into consideration the motivation behind the crimes." And then the judge turned back to me. "The most I can advise is for you to sue your mother for Parental Coercion in your adoption case, but beyond that…."

"WAIT!" someone screamed as they barged through the door to the conference room. I turned around and was absolutely flabbergasted to see Jacob there, dressed as Jaclyn. He wasn't wearing his normal flashy outfits however; instead he had on a black business style dress with stockings and heels, a wig with a little hat, and a ton of makeup. With Jacob, was a smaller man dressed in a suit that was obviously too big for him…who just looked off in some way.

"And who are you?" the judge asked them.

"My name is Jaclyn Marilyn Madonna Black, and this is my husband Russell Hale Black, and we are here to testify…or _confess_," Jake said dramatically in his most feminine voice.

"Uh… please explain," the judge prompted.

"Well, it all started three years ago…well it actually started twenty nine years ago on the day I was born, but you don't need all those details," he said with a nervous giggle.

"Jake, what are you…" I started to ask, but he put his finger up to stop me.

"Anyway, my partner and I are obviously not a conventional couple…" Jake continued but the judge interrupted him.

"Ma'am, sir, whatever, you just said the man with you was your husband, and now you called him your _partner_."

"Oh…well, I think of him as my husband, but really we're not legally allowed to marry because we are both…transsexuals. Yes, I know it's difficult to believe, but I was born a man, and my partner was actually born a woman," Jake said and that's when I realized who his 'partner' was, it was Rose. _What the hell were they doing. _

"What does any of this have to do with this case?" the judge asked irritated.

"Sorry your majesty, I'm getting there," Jacob said quickly. "My partner and I have been trying to adopt a child for some time now, and let me tell you, it's next to impossible for an unconventional couple like us. But we just wanted a family. My ancestors fought the pale faces when they settled here because they wanted our people to adapt to their lifestyle and we refused to conform. We fought bravely down to the last warrior because we would not be oppressed. And now, a century or so later, our people are still fighting to be able to live the way we were born to live. I may not have been born with breasts and shaved legs, but you tell me, what woman was?"

We all just stared at him, unsure what to say, so he continued…

"A great poet once wrote: '_Don't be a drag, just be a queen. Whether you're broke or evergreen. You're black, white, beige, chola descent; you're Lebanese, you're orient. Whether life's disabilities left you outcast, bullied, or teased, rejoice and love yourself today 'cause baby you were born this way'*_…. And let me tell you, no truer words have ever been spoken. The beautifully talented Ms. Ga Ga isn't alone in her ideals, but she is definitely a minority in a country where we're all supposed to be free and equal. We don't get to choose our parents or what bodies we're born into, so why can't we all be treated as equals?" Jacob said dramatically with tears rolling down his cheeks for effect. I wanted to laugh at him, but I also wanted to cry because knew that despite how irrelevant his speech was to my case, he still meant every word of it. I just wish I knew what he and Rose were doing.

"Ok, you need to leave, you're disrupting a legal hearing here," the judge said and then waved forward a security guard.

"No, I have to get this out," Jake said while placing his hand over his chest and looking up at the ceiling. "That woman didn't take the boy," he said while pointing at me. "We did."

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I stood and asked shocked.

"It's ok honey, we thank you for taking the rap for us because you know how cruel the jail system can be for people like us. You know, strait people become gay, and gays can be scared straight….anywho, we can't let you go to jail for us. You highness, Isabella Swan didn't kidnap Anthony Masen, we did," Jake said unconvincingly.

The judge huffed out in frustration, and sighed. "And on what grounds did you have for kidnapping?" he humored them.

"I already told you…" Jake said, but then Rose stepped around him to speak.

"Your honor, my daughter was taken from me when she was seven years old, and my heart has ached for her every day since. My…_partner_ and I just saw Anthony and thought he could complete our family and fill the hole my daughter left. So we just took him. Bella is our good friend, and she took the fall for us, but she's not the one who committed the crime," Rose said in her normal voice and then added "We just wanted a kid," in a deeper aggressive 'man' voice.

"Ok, let me get this straight," the judge said placating them. "You kidnapped a random child thousands of miles away from your residence, and he just so happened to have been your 'good friend's' biological son?" he asked in disbelief.

Rose and Jacob were quiet for a moment and looked at each other questionably. My dad let his face drop in his hands, and I was just really confused.

"That is beyond the point," Jacob said, refusing to give up. "Haven't you seen the soap opera '_As The World Turns'_? Those types of seemingly '_random' _events happen all the time."

Even if the story made sense, I would never let my friends get into trouble for something I did; so I decided we all had enough, and I spoke up."No, your honor, these are my friends, and I'm not sure why they're trying to take responsibility for this. I took my son, and they had nothing to do with it," I said strongly.

"You ruined it, I totally had them believing me," Jake whispered to Rose bitterly.

"No one believed anything," Rose snapped back at him, and then she pulled off her fake mustache and let her hair fall out of her hat. "Sorry," she said to me quietly.

I smiled sadly. "Thanks for trying," I said softly to both of them. Even if their attempt was fairly ridiculous, what they tried to do for me was beyond anything I could possibly imagine. Jacob was my best friend, my family, and in that one act, Rose moved up on my list of people I'd do anything for, and I was truly grateful for both in my life.

"Since neither of you were sworn in, I'll look past this obvious act and dismiss your entire interruption," the judge told them sternly. "Now Ms. Swan, would you like to have a trial to plea your case?" he asked me.

My stomach flipped in knots and sweat beaded up on my temple, but then I shook my head no. "That won't be necessary," I said no louder than a whisper, and then closed my eyes as I awaited my sentencing.

"I'm really sorry to have to do this, but I don't really have a choice. Isabella Swan, you are hereby sentenced to…"

"Hold on," someone else said as they came through the door. I knew that voice, I'd know him anywhere, it was Edward. I looked up at him and I couldn't help the tear that rolled down my cheek. It had been an extremely emotional couple of hours.

But like Jacob, Edward wasn't alone. Not only did he have Tanya with him, but they were holding hands and Edward didn't look disgusted by it one bit. Neither of them looked at me, but the room suddenly felt worlds smaller, and I could have sworn the oxygen level went down because it became much harder to breathe with them there.

"Now, who are you?" the judge asked exasperated.

"Uh, sorry for the intrusion your honor. We're the Masens," Edward said casually.

"You're the child's legal guardians?" the judge asked to be sure.

"Yes, your honor," Edward replied.

"Ok, but we don't need you to testify, the prosecutor already spoke on your behalf," the judge explained.

"I realize that sir, but we just had something to say," Edward told him. "We were vacationing in Italy, so we would have been here a lot sooner if we could have, but you know how airports can be."

The judge motioned for Edward to continue, so he did. "Anyway, while we were gone, we got to talking and realized that we were wrong. Right honey?" he asked Tanya. She didn't answer him, she just looked away towards the door. "We remembered that we actually gave Ms. Swan permission to take our son on vacation."

"Excuse me?" the judge said surprised.

"I know it seems horrible that we forgot about something so major, but it's true. A few months before our son went 'missing', my wife's sister asked to take our son on a road trip, and we agreed. But since then a lot happened and the sisters had somewhat of a falling out, so we didn't even think about it. This has all just been a tragic misunderstanding," Edward explained.

"Has it now?" the judge asked in disbelief.

"We're deeply sorry your honor, and we would be happy to make it up with a monetary retribution for any and all harm done in this case," Edward said completely relaxed.

"Reporting a false crime is against the law Mr. Masen, are you prepared to take responsibility for this with jail time?" the judge challenged him, making my heart practically beat out of my chest.

"I'm not prepared for that," Tanya said quickly in a panic.

"Sir, we're responsible for this mess, and if we need to go to jail to make it up to Ms. Swan, then that's what we'll do," Edward said without hesitation.

"Mrs. Masen?" the judge asked Tanya.

She glared at Edward, then at Charlie, and back at Edward again. "Yes, your honor," she said finally.

"_Whatever, this is ridiculous_," the judge said under his breath. "You need to make an official notion to drop all charges, and you'll _both_ have to sign documents that there was no coercion behind your decision," the judge explained to them.

"That won't be a problem. Will it dear?" Edward said with a smile to Tanya.

"Of course not," Tanya said emotionlessly.

"Well, ok then, but jail time won't be necessary for either of you; I just needed to make sure you were serious with this. Ms. Swan needs to be escorted back to prison and set up to be released, and I really don't want to see any of you again. You may leave," the judge said frazzled, and then stood. Charlie stood with him and they shook hands and muttered some words to each other, before the judge walked out of the room.

I was in utter shock…

I didn't know what to think or how to feel about everything. It all happened so fast that I wasn't even sure if I was really awake, or if it was some parallel dream world that I somehow managed to find myself in.

"Holy Shit! We did it girl!" Jacob said and grabbed me tightly in a huge bear hug, so I knew it all had to be real because no dream would make my shoulders ache like that from Jake's bone crushing strength.

"Jake, pregnant remember," I croaked, so he let me go.

"Sorry baby," he murmured to my stomach.

"I'm so proud of you kiddo," Charlie said and then claimed me to hug.

"Thanks dad," I said absently, still unsure of how everything just went down.

"We need to get you back to the prison," a guard said to me.

I looked around quickly, searching for Edward, but he wasn't in the room anymore, but then my eyes locked with Rose's.

"Thank you so much," I said to her sincerely. Even if their plan didn't work, I'll never forget that she tried when she didn't have any reason to. I hardly knew her, but she risked her freedom for me, and that's a type of person that one doesn't meet too often.

"Oh stop," she said with a smile and a tear rolling down her cheek. "We'll have plenty of time for all that later when you're a free woman. Who knows, maybe someday you can help me try get my daughter back."

I nodded and wiped away a tear of my own. "I will, I promise," I told her and then I mouthed '_thank you'_ to Esme before being escorted out of the room.

When I was being led down the hall to where the parking lot was, I saw Edward again. He was standing with his arm around Tanya, and the two of them were talking to my public defender and the prosecutor. He looked up at me briefly as I passed, but then he looked back down again to sign whatever paper that was placed in front of him.

I didn't understand it. I thought it was just an act when they were in the hearing room asking for the charges to be dropped, but the way he continued to hold her, made me believe that perhaps it wasn't. _Did they really go to Italy together and make up?_

It may sound horrible, but I'd rather rot in jail for the rest of my life then ever see them together like that again. It made me sick, and I seriously thought I was going to have another breakdown. I got my freedom, but I would have to live in the hell of watching them together all over again, just like when we were in school. Edward and I shared kids together, which meant that Tanya would always be there, sticking her disgusting nose in where it doesn't belong and continuing to drain the lives out of Edward and Anthony.

I was so angry, and hurt, and relieved to be set free, and every other emotion I could possibly feel at a single time. What the hell did Tanya have over Edward? Why did he allow her to suck him back in like that?

But then I was hit with the realization that I was going to get to be a mother to my baby. Nothing was going to get in my way again, and I wouldn't let Tanya spoil that wonderful moment. She still had Anthony, but I wouldn't allow her anywhere near my second child. Edward would just have to come to see the baby wherever I decided to live, because I refused let it anywhere near the house he shared with that bitch.

My happiness was spoiled, but I wouldn't let it be ruined entirely. I had my dad back in my life, a best friend anyone could ask for in Jacob, and I knew Rose would always be in my life as well. I had my baby, and I would make sure that I saw Anthony as much as possible. So, life was good for the first time in so long, and I wasn't going to complain. I couldn't make Edward love me, and I decided then to never try again. He made it so I could be set free, so I was thankful but it was time to use that freedom and begin to finally start living again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know the hearing was a little unrealistic, b****ut hey it's fiction and for entertainment value, picturing Jacob and Rose in drag was definitely worth the stray from reality. lol**

**Jacob's 'poem' was the song 'Born This Way' by Lady Gaga. No copyright was intended.**

**Please Review**


	13. Running Forward

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 13 – _Running Forward_~

**BPOV**

I was walking in a daze again, but this time, it was a happy one. The world wasn't completely right, but I was still blessed more than I ever imagined was possible for me. I wasn't even upset about being brought back to my cell, because I knew I wouldn't be staying.

"What the hell is going on?" Jane asked when she noticed me grabbing my stuff, and the guard waiting just outside our cell door.

"I'm going home," I said with a smile, despite the fact that I really didn't have a 'home' to go to.

"How the fuck did that happen?" she asked bitterly.

"All the charges were dropped," I said shakily. The adrenaline was still pumping hard in my veins, so my whole body was trembling. It was a high that no drug could possible match, and I knew I would never turn to narcotics again. There would never be a reason to numb myself illegally, I finally had my freedom and it had nothing to do with being out of jail. My truth was out, and people believed me. I didn't have to live with the pain of my silence anymore; I was finally able to live my own life without fear.

"What makes you so special?" Jane asked angrily. Jane was a bully around the prison, and everyone was afraid of the childlike menace, but I refused to live according to anyone else's rules anymore.

"Because, I have the best friends in the world," I said with a smile, even though my friends weren't really the ones who got me out.

"Well, good for you. But don't think you got a 'get out of jail free' card, or anything."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"When you get out, you're going to get me fifty thousand dollars," Jane said seriously.

I stared at her for a moment with an expression of pure terror on my face, but then I let it melt into a full out laugh. "Sure," I said sarcastically through my giggles. I had to admit, it felt really good to have a big laugh like that.

"Are you mocking me?" she asked appalled.

"No, I'm absolutely terrified," I said while continuing to laugh.

"No one has ever laughed at me in here before, and I will not stand for it," she said aggressively.

"Well, why don't you talk to the prison psychologist about that," I said dismissively.

"Listen here bitch! If you don't get me the money I want, I will cut you," she threatened.

"Ok, well when they make knifes that can reach through walls and over miles, I'll be scared."

"I will get out of here eventually, and when I do, you and your disgusting baby will be dead."

"Ok…well, good luck with that," I told her with a smile, and then signaled the guard that I was ready to leave. I couldn't be officially released until all the paperwork was filed, but they assured me that it wouldn't be more than a few hours and I was permitted to wait out the remainder of my time in the visiting lobby of the prison.

Three hours, and four bags of vending machine chips later, I was finally really and officially free. I felt like I could fly. A guard walked me out to the public parking lot, and then I saw them. Jacob and Rose jumped out of a car and ran towards me enthusiastically.

"EEEEE!" Jacob screamed out with a high pitched squeal, as his hands flailed uncontrollably.

"I can't believe this is really happening," I said to them as they both hugged me, and we jumped around like a bunch of school girls.

"Well, you deserve it, girl," Rose said with a smile and then we all got into the car. Jacob was driving, and Rose climbed in the back seat, so I sat in the front. We rolled the windows down and blasted the music, and celebrated our victory. I had so many questions about their plan to rescue me, but in that moment we were just enjoying the ride and explanations would come soon enough.

"Where are we going?" I asked after about a half hour in the car.

"Uh…Forks," Jake said hesitantly.

"Why are we going to Forks?" I asked slightly disturbed. I had no desire to ever go back there, and I couldn't think of a single reason either of them would want to either.

"Now honey, you know we don't have a lot of money, and your dad offered us a place to stay for a little while until we can make our way back to Vegas," Jake said, shocking the hell out of me.

"When did you talk to my dad?" I asked confused. I really thought they came to my rescue on their own, I had no idea they ever even had a conversation with Charlie.

"Well, he helped plan the whole thing…I mean we all pitched in ideas. It was definitely a joint endeavor," Jake explained.

"Wait a minute; Charlie actually was ok with you guys making a false confession?" I asked getting a little angry. How could Charlie be ok with sacrificing my friends just to get me out?

"Not exactly…it's a long story Bella, and we all had our parts to play. We'll explain everything when we get there," Jake said quietly.

"Jake, I don't want to stay in my childhood home," I insisted.

"Trust me, neither does he, that's why we're all staying somewhere you've never been before," Jake said lightly.

"O-kay," I said concerned, but decided to just wait and see what they were talking about.

A while later, we arrived in Forks and drove through the town, and I tried not to look at anything as we passed. There were so many good memories there, but the bad far outweighed the good, and I just didn't want the visual reminders. But then we continued onto the outskirts of the town, and into the deeper part of the forest. The houses there were sparse and before long, there weren't any houses left at all.

"Where are we going?" I asked baffled. I had never been to that area before, and as the street became nothing more but a dirt road, I was even more clueless.

"You'll see," Rose said with a giggle.

Out of nowhere, a huge white house appeared. It was almost odd to see such a large structure out in the middle of nowhere, but it was absolutely beautiful.

"What is this place?" I asked.

"This is where we're going to call home for the next few weeks," Jake explained.

"I don't understand," I said blankly.

Jake pulled to a stop, and then he and Rose got out of the car. I sat there for an extra minute, and then I saw my dad coming out of the doorway, so I then got out of the car as well.

"Welcome home," my dad said while wrapping me in his arms.

"Thanks, but this isn't my home," I said with a confused smile.

"Well, it's my home, so you'll always have a home here too," Charlie said and then rubbed my arms before leading me inside.

"When did you buy this place?" I asked confused.

"When I got back from visiting you in Vegas, I just couldn't stand the thought of living under the same roof as Renee anymore. So I kicked her out, and thankfully, an officer I work with really wanted to buy the house so it all went through really quickly. This place has been wasting away out here for years, it was bank owned and pretty much falling apart. So, I got it for a great price and all my buddies have been helping me get it into shape. It still needs a lot of work, but I wanted to make sure I had a place suitable for living by the time you got out," Charlie explained.

"You didn't know if I was going to get out," I suspiciously.

"Well, Judge Vulturinni is a friend of mine, so I requested him to handle your case hoping he'd have some compassion and we'd get lucky."

"I can't believe you did all of this," I said while looking around surprised at the way the house was put together.

"Well, to be honest, your friends did most of the decorating and whatnot," he said as we looked around together. "Sorry I wasn't there to pick you up today. I thought you'd want some time with your friends without be dampening the moment," he mumbled.

"You wouldn't have dampened it dad, but it was good this way too," I assured him. "Where did they go anyway?" I looked around wondering where Jacob and Rose went.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm sure they're around here somewhere. That Jacob is definitely a…unique individual," Charlie said hesitantly.

"Yeah, isn't he great?" I said with a smile. "I would have never survived without him."

"I know, and that's why I'm extremely grateful for him, and for Rose. I told them they can both stay as long as they want to…I owe them everything, and it's the least I could do."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely. "So…how did all that happen? I'm still not sure of any of it. You said the judge was your friend, but how did you get in touch with Jake and Rose?...And why would you let them take the fall for me?" I questioned him.

"Well…" he said with a deep breath, and then the front door opened from behind me, so I turned around to see Edward walking through the door. "I'll let you two talk," Charlie said quietly before going out the front door, which was still open from Edward coming in.

"Hey," I said quietly after my dad shut the door behind him. My heart was beating so fast from just seeing Edward again, that I was sure it would beat right out of my chest.

"Hi," he said just as quietly. He walked closer, but he stayed several feet away from me, standing with his arms crossed in front of him, and we just stared at each other for a minute.

"Thanks, for helping me," I said uncomfortably.

He pressed his lips together and looked down for a moment, before looking back at me. "Well, we all know you didn't deserve to be in jail," he said finally.

It was an extremely awkward couple of minutes. Neither of us knew what to say to each other, because the last time we really spoke, was when I was in the Vegas jail and I had just confessed everything. I didn't know how he felt about me, or if we'd ever be able to be friends again. But I needed to be clear on my feelings towards Tanya around my baby.

"Um, I'm actually glad you're here. Since I'm not in jail anymore…I obviously don't need you to take the baby when it's born. I just needed you to know that I don't want it to be at your house," I told him nervously.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and looked…confused.

"I thought I was the baby's father?"

"You are," I said quickly.

"Then why can't I take him to my home?"

"I don't want him anywhere near Tanya," I told him strongly. Even if I was nervous around Edward, I would never back down when it came to my sister.

He laughed once. "And what makes you think I do?"

"She's your wife," I said slowly.

"No, she's not," he said disgusted, "Well, at least she won't be at midnight tonight when our divorce is finalized."

"That's not funny," I said in disbelief.

"No, it's not," he said seriously. "I should have never married her in the first place. I'm sure I'll make a lot of mistakes in my lifetime, but that will always be at the top of my list."

"But, you were holding her at the hearing?" I said quietly.

"More like _restraining_ her. I tried to have the charges dropped on my own, but since we were legally together when the kidnapping charges were made, we both had to be there to drop them… Why would you think I would _ever_ go back to her?" he asked incredulously.

"Aunt Bella!" Anthony yelled as he came running through the door with Emmett trailing behind him. He ran right into my arms, and I held him tightly as I buried my face in his hair. "I missed you so much," he said to me.

"I missed you too," I whispered emotionally.

"Isn't grandpa's house really cool?" he asked after pulling back. I didn't want to let him go, but I figured if I forced him to stay in my embrace, he might get slightly freaked out.

"Yeah, it's nice," I said with a smile.

"Guess what, dad says we might be moving again," he said excitedly.

"Really?" I said while looking at Edward. "Back to Seattle?"

"No, New York. Wouldn't that be awesome?" Anthony asked me.

"Anthony, I said we needed to talk about it first," Edward told him while looking at me.

"New York?" I said quietly, mostly to myself. I knew it had always been a dream of his to live there, and once upon a time it was mine too, but it just seemed so unrealistic for some reason.

"Hey Bella, it's been a long time," Emmett said suddenly, breaking the trance I found myself in.

"Hi Emmett, it's good to see you," I said, forcing myself to put Edward and Anthony's possible move out of my head. I just got out of jail, and I was with my son for the first time in weeks, so I wasn't about to start stressing on something that may or may not happen.

"You look good," he said casually.

"Thanks, you too," I told him.

"Hey munchkin, go run up and tell Rose that I'm waiting," Emmett told Anthony.

"It's ok, I'm coming," Rose said as she skipped down the stairs. She went over to Emmett and kissed him quickly on the lips before looking at me sheepishly.

"There are some really gorgeous men in this town," she said with a shrug.

"Excuse me?" Emmett said offended.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Ok, there is A really gorgeous man in this town," she corrected herself. "We're heading over to the state fair," she told me.

"Oh," I said surprised.

"JACOB, LET'S GO!" Rose yelled up the stairs.

Then I saw Anthony grab his coat off the chair, and hug Edward before coming back to hug me again.

"You're going too?" I asked him disappointedly. I just got out of jail and even though he had no idea that I had been locked up, I was still hoping to spend the rest of the day with him at least.

"We're all going, sweetie," Jake said after coming down the stairs in his 'Jake' clothes, and kissing me on the cheek.

"Oh…ok," I said and then looked for my coat.

"All of us _but_ you," Jake said. He must have noticed my baffled expression, so he smiled. "Don't worry about it honey, tomorrow we are all going to spend the entire day together and celebrate, but today we figured you needed some time to decompress.

"But…I…" I said gesturing towards my son who I wanted nothing more than to just hold for the rest of my life.

'It's OK,' Jake mouthed to me. "We'll be back in a few hours, try to get some rest."

Everyone filed out of the house, and left me wondering what the hell was going on. I had been alone for weeks, and I sure as hell didn't want to be left in a big strange house all by myself.

"I asked them to leave," Edward said from behind me. I didn't realize that he had stayed, but suddenly my nervous panic settled back in again.

"You did?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah. I just wanted some time to talk to you alone. I know you wanted to be with Anthony, but I just needed to explain to you why I didn't tell him the truth yet."

"I'm glad you didn't," I told him honestly. "I want to spend a few days with him before."

"Why?" he asked confused.

"I don't want him to hate me just yet," I said sadly.

"He could _never _hate you," he said while looking at me intensely.

"He's ten. Give him a few years and I'm sure he'll hate everyone," I told him jokingly.

"True," he said with a smile.

"So, what happens now?" I asked him uncomfortably.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "We can raid Charlie's fridge."

"I'm sure he wouldn't expect anything less from you," I teased. "But I'm not really hungry… So, where were you before you got here? Anthony seemed to come with Emmett separately."

"Yeah, well, I had some last minute arrangements I needed to make after we left the courthouse. Anthony has been crashing at Emmett's for the past week and a half, so they met me here."

"Why?" I asked concerned.

"I had to find Tanya to bring her to court, and I wasn't going to bring Anthony with me, so Emmett's been watching him and taking him to school and stuff."

"That must have been hard for you after spending a week not knowing what happened to him," I said full of regret.

"I imagine nothing was harder than what you went through, being forced to stay away from him for all those years the way that you were," he said softly.

I nodded, but I really didn't want to talk any more about that subject, so I didn't respond about it any further.

I went and sat on the couch, so Edward followed my lead and did the same. "So, tell me how everything happened. How did you get Tanya to agree to drop the charges if you're not back together?"

"Well, what I said at the hearing wasn't completely false; we were in Italy."

"Why?" I asked resentfully.

"That's where she was when I went looking for her. She went straight to Italy from Vegas, and of course, I didn't know that because I hadn't talked to her since then. I came back to Forks and asked her friends where she was. Most of them wouldn't say anything, but then I got lucky and one finally told me where she was. She was moving around a lot, so it took me a few days to find her, and then I had to threaten her…..

**EPOV**

"_There is no way in hell I'm going back there to drop the charges," Tanya said like the bitch she was._

"_Damn it Tanya, that's your little sister, don't you have a fucking heart?" I said frustrated. _

"_She's the one who kidnapped Anthony, and you say _I_ don't have a heart?" _

_Her comment seriously pissed me off, especially knowing that she was actually the one who took Anthony from Bella, but I wasn't going to play into her ridiculous games. I was on a time limit, and I didn't have any to waste arguing. Charlie had called that morning to say that his judge friend was trying to open up a timeslot to hear Bella's case, so it was essential that I get Tanya back before then._

"_Look, you're going to come back with me, or I'll have to tell everyone exactly what you did," I threatened her._

"_And what did I do?" she asked unconcerned. _

"_Uh, how about embezzlement," I said, which made her freeze. _

"_I don't know what you're talking about," she said unconvincingly._

"_Really? Tanya, when are you going to learn that all the shit you do, only hurts yourself in the long run? Remember those cameras you set up in the house to catch me cheating while you were on your 'mom' vacation with your friends?"_

_Tanya's eyes suddenly got huge as she realized exactly what I was talking about. I knew she was going to be a pain in my ass about coming back, so I got the idea of checking the recordings of her cameras, just to see if there was anything useful to me, and there definitely was. She recently got a part time job at a boutique in Forks, but what she was really doing was pocketing a lot of the store earnings, and I had a video of her talking all about it. Not only that, but I also had a recording of her screwing one of her friend's husband, which was something that probably wouldn't worry her, but it was just further proof that she didn't give a shit about anyone. _

"_Newsflash," Tanya said after thinking it through. "We're in a foreign country, I can't get in trouble for something I did in the US," she said smugly. _

"_Newsflash," I said mockingly. "You can't stay here forever; you will eventually get deported, and when you do, I'll be there… and so will the charges against you."_

"_I'll get a fake ID and stay here indefinitely," she said desperately._

"_Oh sweetheart, we both know you're not that smart," I said condescendingly._

_She looked pissed, and she had a crazy look in her eyes like she was going to snap. But then she forcefully closed her eyes, and huffed loudly. _

"_Fine, what do I have to do?" she asked through clinched teeth._

"_Come back to Washington, and drop the charges against your sister," I insisted. _

"_Whatever. But I want to see Anthony after that," she said surprisingly. _

"_Uh…no," I said irritated. _

"_Edward, I am the only mother he has ever known. At least give me a chance to talk to him."_

"_Not going to happen, Tanya. You know, besides the pain Bella's endured from this whole thing, do you know what's the worst part of this is? Anthony never asks about you. Not once has he asked me to see you, or talk to you. He doesn't give a shit about the 'only mother he's ever known', and that's really sad."_

"_He's just used to me being gone, but after a few months, he'll miss me," she said bitterly._

"_Don't hold your breath…or better yet, do," I said agitatedly. "Let's go, we can't be late." _

_We didn't speak much during the flight home, but she must have been considering her options, because the moment we landed, she tried getting away from me. She said she had to use the restroom, but after a few minutes I saw her peek out and then she took off running, and I took off after her. By the time I caught her, she was already outside flagging cab._

"_It doesn't matter where you go, the charges will follow you," I told her as the cab pulled up to the curb. _

"_It's a misdemeanor, I won't even get arrested for it," she tried convincing herself._

"_I wouldn't bet on it," I told her with a smile. The truth was that she had no idea what the law was, for all she knew, it could mean life in prison without the possibility of parole. _

"_I hate you, do you know that?" she said aggressively._

"_Well, thank god for that," I said with a smile. "I don't think I could stomach another of your pathetic attempts to seduce me."_

"_I am your wife!" she screamed._

"_Not for long," I said happily._

"_UGH!" she yelled, and then she huffed and followed me to where I parked the car._

_When we got to the car, I pulled out my phone to check my voicemail, and that's when I saw the message from Charlie._

"_Edward, I hope you get this, the hearing is set for Wednesday at ten am," Charlie said. _

"_Oh Shit!" I said while looking at my watch. It was Wednesday morning, we had flown all night to get back, but it was already nine thirty and we still had a two hour car ride ahead of us. I sped as fast as I could to get there, but I knew I wasn't going to make it on time, so I called for help._

"_Hello?" Jacob said as he answered the phone. Jacob and their friend Rose had flown into Washington to offer Charlie and I whatever kind of help they could to get Bella out, so I seriously hoped they meant it._

"_Jacob, it's Edward," I said in a rush. "The hearing is going to happen in less than a half hour, and I'm at least an hour and a half still out."_

"_Ok, what do you need us to do?" he asked me._

"_Just stall it."_

"_How?" he asked in a panic._

"_I don't know, just think of something," I said irritated. I didn't mean to be rude to Jake, he was Bella's best friend and I knew he saved her life on multiple occasions, thus saving my life and I'd always be grateful for him, but I was extremely stressed._

"_Ok, we'll think of something," Jakes said worriedly._

"_Jacob, thank you," I said sincerely. _

"_I'm not doing it for your benefit…but, you're welcome," he said before hanging up the phone._

_I looked at the time, and then pushed harder on the gas to go even faster. _

"_We're not going to make it in time," Tanya said with a little too much enthusiasm, so I got pissed…even more than I already was at her._

"_You know what, I really hope you live an extremely long lonely miserable life, because maybe then, you'll have enough time to really think about all the shit you've done, and all the pain you caused not only your sister and Anthony, but yourself too. Someday, you're going to look at yourself in the mirror and be really fucking terrified of the reflection looking back at you, and I'm not talking about the wrinkles of old age. It's in the eyes Tanya, and yours are lifeless."_

"_You don't know what you're talking about," Tanya said bitterly._

"_Wow, is that what your problem has always been?" I asked as it all became suddenly extremely clear. "You've spent your entire life working on your outer appearance, so you never had time to work on who you are on the inside. You knew you had nothing to offer people as far as being smart or kind, so you just manipulate and trick people in to liking you. Your father didn't love you enough to stay, and you saw the way Charlie and everyone else loved Bella just because of who she was, so you had to do anything you possibly could to destroy that. And then there was Anthony, who you knew would also love Bella in that way, so you thought it was your one chance to kill Bella's spirit. To tear her down and try to steal a baby's unconditional love for its mother. But it didn't work, because he has always seen right through you and yet the moment he saw Bella, he completely fell in love with her. I feel sorry for you really, because you will never know what it feels like to be really loved," I told her harshly. She looked at me full of hurt, but I really didn't care. I was right, and we both knew it. We didn't speak again for the rest of the car trip, and I was more than fine by that._

_When we finally got there, the hearing had been going on for at least an hour, but I thought we'd still be fine considering all the formalities that needed to be followed. But then, Tanya disappeared. I looked away from her for just a minute to read the directory, and she took off somewhere. _

"_FUCK!" I yelled out of frustration, but then I saw her again. She was trying to get to a bus station, but I grabbed her arm and without a word, I dragged her back forcefully. _

"_Now you listen to me," I said sternly as we approached the building. "If you so much as hint that I'm forcing you into this, I will go to the police about what you did, and I won't give you the chance to run from them. We are going to go in there like a united front, and you are going to go along with whatever story I tell them. Do you understand?"_

"_Whatever," she said carelessly. _

_When we got into the conference room where the hearing was being held, I wouldn't allow myself to look at Bella because I could never pretend to be indifferent towards her once we locked eyes. I needed to act the part of loving husband to Tanya, otherwise they might separate us to ask her alone if she was being forced to drop the charges. There was no way Tanya would go along with my plan if she was questioned about it without me, so I had to stay close to her, but I swore it would be the last time I was ever in physical contact with her again. Just holding her hand made me want to vomit. _

_When the hearing was over, I wanted to grab Bella in my arms and refuse to ever let her go again, but I wasn't exactly sure how she felt about me anymore. I knew she once loved me, but that was a long time ago, and for all I knew, our week we spent together in Seattle could have just been part of her plan to get pregnant. I needed to be patient and let her tell me what she wanted…but first, I needed to make sure that Tanya didn't come back to try to ruin the life that Bella would remake for herself._

"_Don't bother hooking up with any of your friends in town here, because if you do, they'll all know that you fucked Lauren's husband," I told her after stopping at a bus station and handing her money for a ticket._

"_You wouldn't," she said terrified._

"_Oh, I would, and I have the video to prove it. Leave Tanya; go make a new life for yourself, and don't ever come near Anthony, Bella, or me again."_

_I didn't wait to see her get onto the bus, I just got back into my car and headed for Charlie's. I had already missed so much while looking for Tanya in Italy, that I didn't want to wait any longer to talk to Bella again._

…

**BPOV**

"So, it was all just an act," I muttered mostly to myself.

"Of course it was," he said while his eyes burned into mine.

I had to look away from the intensity of his stare because I knew if I didn't, I would definitely get lost in his emerald eyes forever. I needed to keep a clear head, I couldn't let my desire for him get in the way of the things that needed to be worked out between us. We had both hurt, and been hurt by each other, and that had to be acknowledged. We didn't need to rush the healing process, we had all the time in the world and we needed to take it slowly.

"Edward, I really don't know what to say to you. I feel like I've been fighting and running for so long, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now that the truth isn't chasing me anymore. We have all done so many things…how do we just move on and forget all of it?"

"We can't forget," Edward said gently. "But we can't let it ruin the rest of our lives either. Enough time has already been wasted. Bella, I am so, so sorry for what I did to you. I swear to you, you are the very last person I ever wanted to hurt."

"I have my share of blame in everything too. There are so many things I wish I would have done differently…but then every time I think of what would have happened if I did things right, something else would have gone wrong. If I would have…stopped you that night eleven years ago, then we wouldn't have Anthony. If I would have told you what happened afterwards, you could have ended up in jail. If…"

"Bella," he said interrupting me. "I would have rather spent the rest of my life in jail, then to have you go through what you went through."

"And then where would Anthony be? Do you really think that would have solved anything? My mother still would have taken him from me, and you wouldn't have been there for him. He would have been raised without either of us."

Edward was quiet as he thought about what I was saying, and then he sighed. "We can't go back and change anything, so it does no good to play 'what if'. I just need you to know how incredibly sorry I am for what I did. I just don't know how you can even stand being in the same room with me, little alone raise our kids together."

"I lied, I took Anthony," I reminded him quickly. "I got pregnant on purpose, so in reality, I'm no better than Tanya. I'm absolutely horrified for you really, you have had two insane sisters doing absolutely anything to get your baby," I said seriously, but the smirk on Edward's face actually made me break down and start laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

"You're forgetting the major difference between your attempt to get pregnant, and Tanya's," he said lightly.

"What? That she was eighteen at the time?" I guessed, remembering the condom sabotaging I found her doing right before they graduated high school.

"No. The difference is that I actually like you," he said straight faced, and then he started laughing too. "No, no, I'm serious, what the hell kind of horrible child would have Tanya spawned?" he said through his laughter.

"You thought Anthony was hers," I contradicted him.

He stopped laughing then, and took a deep breath. "You know it's odd, I spent his whole life thinking he was hers, and now, I can't even imagine it. Every time I see him…all I see is you. I just can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner… You were wrong before though," he said, confusing me.

"About what?" I asked him.

"About what would have happened if I wasn't drunk off my ass the night Anthony was conceived."

"What do you mean? If you weren't drunk and you knew I was really me, then you would have had sex with me anyway?" I asked puzzled by what he was trying to say.

"No. We wouldn't have had Anthony then…but we had plans, remember? We were going to go to New York and get an apartment together. It was only a matter of time before we couldn't resist each other anymore…Anthony would have come around eventually."

Edward spoke lightly, as if he was halfway joking about the whole thing, but it actually really upset me, so I got up and turned my back to him. I was tearing up, and I really didn't want him to see that. In one little breezy scenario of an alternate universe, we were happy, with no pain and no years stuck in the middle of hell. I had walked through the past decade alone, thinking that it was all necessary otherwise Anthony wouldn't exist, but to Edward, it was easy. It was as if he could see it all along, and even though we couldn't change what happened, having Anthony and being together was where we would have ended up no matter what. He never had plans of letting Tanya be in his life permanently, and all I really needed to do was be patient. But it was just proof that I really screwed everything up.

Without warning, I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist from behind, so his hands were resting on my stomach. His lips caressed my neck with his cool breath rolling along my skin, sending electric waves up and down my spine….and everything else disappeared. In that moment, I forgot why I was upset, and I didn't care to remember either. His kisses trailed their way up to my jaw, and then I turned my face towards him so he could reach my lips.

He then took two steps around me so we were face to face, and our arms re-locked around each other. But I couldn't keep my hands still, they quickly moved to get tangled into his perfect bronzed hair, as our mouths continued to try to devour the others. I thought briefly about my plan to move slowly with him, but then I thought 'to hell with that'. I didn't want to move slowly, I wanted to run forward straight to the finish line. I wanted all of him, and I couldn't wait any longer.

But then abruptly he pulled away, making me actually whimper.

"You know, you haven't seen the rest of the house yet."

"Huh?" I didn't have time to question him further, because the next thing I knew, I was swept up in his arms and he rushed us upstairs.

"That over there is your dad's room," he said swiftly without stopping. "Those two are guest rooms, and this is the one he had set up for you." He kicked open the door that he said was mine, and I gasped from the sight. The room was like a time warp, it was exactly like the room I grew up in, except it didn't have any of Tanya's shit in it. Everything was there, from my old pictures and stuffed animals, to my blankets and book shelf.

"Uh…yeah…just, never mind," Edward said quickly, dismissing the stuff in the room. He laid me on the bed and I pulled him down on top of me, and we picked up right where we left off in the living room. His hands were all over me, and it felt absolutely amazing. Nothing in that room felt like home, none of it really seemed like mine anymore…except him. In that moment, he wasn't Tanya's anymore, and I wasn't just borrowing him the way I always saw it when we were together before. He was finally mine again, really and truly, and I'd make sure nothing came between us again.

We couldn't get our clothes off fast enough, but when I was lying naked under him, I found myself pausing.

"Edward, do you love me?" I asked him no louder than a whisper.

He pulled back to look me in the eye. "Bella, I love you more than _anything_," he said softly, and then he reclaimed my lips with his.

"Not more than _anything_," I said with a smile when his lips moved back to my neck. I had no idea why I was talking in that moment, but for some reason, I just needed to hear his love out loud.

He looked back at me offended, as if I just called him a liar to his face. "Yes, I love you more than anything," he repeated. "Who or what could I possibly love more?"

"Well, for starters, our son," I said, but then he shocked the hell out of me by shaking his head no.

"Anthony wouldn't exist without you," he said softly. "_You_ are everything to me, _everything_."

And then all talking stopped, and we let our bodies take over our blissful reunion.

* * *

><p><strong>The story is almost over, we just need a little public humiliation (for Tanya, not Bella ;) and for Anthony to learn the truth…<strong>_**I wonder how he'll react? **_

**Please Review**


	14. Opening Windows

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 14 – _Opening Windows_~  
>BPOV<p>

"Edward?" I asked softly as we basked in the afterglow of completely reconnecting. I was lying across his chest enjoying the peace, but I couldn't shake the thought I had, so I just had to ask.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell is up with this room?"

He chuckled. "It's a trip, isn't it? I tried to talk Charlie out of setting it all up in here, but he thought you'd want your stuff back."

"Stuffed animals and old ratty dolls?" I asked incredulously.

"When you ran away, Charlie flipped out, and basically threw all of Tanya's crap out of your room and told her and Renee that they weren't allowed to go back in there for anything. Charlie told me that your room wasn't touched since then, and when he moved, he just couldn't handle the idea of storing everything in the attic."

"Oh…well, this stuff doesn't matter to me, but if it's important to him…" I said with a shrug. "So, where are _we_ going to stay tonight?" I asked him knowing he wouldn't want to stay at his house which shared with Tanya.

"Well, I haven't had a chance to get a place out here yet, and I wasn't sure if I actually ever would. I still have the condo in Seattle, but…"

"But you want to move to New York?" I remembered.

"It was just an idea really. Jasper was thinking about expanding his company out there, and asked if I would be interested in heading it up. I talked to Esme about the whole thing, and she thought it would be a good idea for us, if it was something you wanted to do."

"Wait, you talked to Esme about moving?" I asked surprised.

"Well, yeah. I've talked to her a few times about the best way to tell Anthony everything, and I mentioned the job opportunity in New York. She said she could recommend some good therapist out there for all of us if we did move," he said hesitantly, not wanting to upset me with talk about getting therapy.

"Wow, you've really thought all this through, haven't you?" I asked feeling a little overwhelmed.

"I wasn't going to make any decisions without you, but I wanted to have options."

"And what are our other options?" I asked with a smile. I actually liked the idea of moving to New York, but he said we had 'options', so I wanted to know what else he had come up with.

"Well, we can go back to Seattle. We can get rid of the condo I have there, and we can look for a place together…or, we can stay here if you really wanted to. I know you've hated this town for awhile, but on the off chance that you'd want to rekindle some of the happier times, we could do that too. Or, we can go somewhere else entirely. Maybe Kentucky, and open up our own dairy farm?"

"Oh, sounds wonderful. I'd really like to see you in overalls and covered in manure. As long as we can have some chickens too, though."

He smiled. "Sounds perfect. But you're going to have to handle all the milking."

"Really, and why's that?" I asked amused.

"I don't do anyone's breasts except yours," he said while leaving a trail of kisses down my bare chest, taking extra attention on my nipples.

"Well, I guess we can't do the dairy farm then," I said breathlessly as his kisses continued down my body. He rubbed and kissed my stomach, before moving his mouth even further down, right to my core.

I couldn't control my body any longer, he took complete ownership of it and I didn't even put up a fight. I closed my eyes and gave him everything I had, and right when I felt like I was going to explode, he moved back up my body, and back _inside _me. We pushed and pulled and tightened our grip, until there wasn't any more energy left to cling to, so we both let go into one of the most amazing releases I had ever experienced.

I couldn't imagine life getting any better, I had my Edward, our children, and soon enough, we'd find a home to share and I knew without a doubt, that we'd always be together.

"How did I survive without you all this time," Edward said afterwards, while catching his breath besides me.

"I don't know, but you'll never make it without me again," I said with a threatening tone.

"I know, so do me a favor and don't ever leave me again," he said seriously.

"I don't have a reason to leave anymore," I assured him.

"Promise me," he demanded.

I looked him in the eye, and said "I promise I won't ever leave you again."

He kissed me passionately, and then he pulled away again.

"Where are you going?" I moaned thinking I should have made _him_ promise to never leave as well.

"Everyone will probably be getting back soon. We should get cleaned up, and I need to figure out where we're going to stay tonight."

"Hey, remember when you mentioned raiding Charlie's refrigerator?" I asked suggestively.

He smirked at me and wiggled his eyebrows. "Get dressed," he said before grabbing his pants.

I hated having to dress knowing it meant we wouldn't be making love again until we found a place to spend the night together, but the baby inside of me was demanding food and I couldn't deny it any longer.

When we were both dressed, we had another five minute make out session before finally prying ourselves apart to head down stairs.

"Looks like we got sandwich stuff, cereal, snack food…damn Charlie really needs someone to shop for him," Edward said while looking around the kitchen.

"Is there any eggs?" I asked from the table where I was sitting.

"Eggs," he said quietly while he looked in the fridge. "Yep, but let me check the date just to make sure."

When Edward was satisfied that the eggs weren't expired, he searched for a pan, and then started cooking. Seeing Edward cook had to be one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen, and I just sat there and watched him adoringly. He was obviously not the best cook, but just seeing him move around like that was mesmerizing.

When he was finished cooking, Edward put the omelet on a plate for me, and sat in the chair across from me.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked curiously.

"I already did, and it was delicious," he said while licking his lips.

"You're disgusting," I said with a smile.

"Just wait until we've been together for awhile, you'll see just how _disgusting _I can be," he said jokingly.

"Can't wait," I said with a giggle. "Mmm," this is so good," I told him after taking a huge bite. "You have to try this."

"No thanks," he said quickly.

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Because, I had a bad experience with omelets recently, and I can't imagine wanting them ever again."

"And what experience was that?" I asked with a grin.

"I made some for Anthony, and he got sick and threw them up all over me….it was traumatic."

"For you, or for him?"

"Me, of course," he said seriously.

I took another bite and then I moaned again from how good it was. "I'm not kidding, you really have to try this," I told him again.

"It's just an omelet Bella, it only tastes that good to you because you're pregnant and probably waited way too long since your last meal."

"Oh, come on, just one bite," I said while holding out a fork full towards him.

"Alright," he said with a smile. He took the fork from me, but instead of putting the food in his mouth, he turned it towards me and put it in mine.

"Hey," I said with a full mouth, but then he shut me up by planting his lips to mine, and shoving his tongue into my mouth.

"You're right, it is good," he mumbled against my lips. It had to be one of the most disgustingly erotic things I ever experienced, but I couldn't help but giggle as he continued to kiss me.

"EEhum," Charlie cleared his throat as he came into the kitchen, so Edward pulled away from me.

"Hi dad," I said sheepishly. I never went through the high school dating thing, so I never had to worry about my dad ever catching me with a guy, but I would imagine it would feel similar to that.

"Is everyone back from the fair yet?" Charlie asked uncomfortably.

"No, but they should be back in the next hour or so," Edward answered him.

"Well good. I picked up some hamburgers to grill for dinner," Charlie said while he put the meat in the fridge.

"Thanks dad," I said.

"So…any plans for the night?" Charlie asked me. "I know you may not want to stay with me, but I have your room all set up for you."

"Yeah, Edward showed me," I said, and then got embarrassed again because of Charlie's expression. He obviously knew what I meant when I said that Edward 'showed' me the room. "Uh…that was really…nice of you to keep all my stuff for all this time," I said, trying to break the tension in the room.

"Well, I just didn't want to get rid of anything. If something was special to you, then the last thing I ever wanted to do was not have it for you when you came back," Charlie explained.

"Thanks," I said again.

"Bella guess what!" Anthony said as he ran through the door.

"Hey," I said while hugging and breathing him in. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah. Emmett was too scared to go on the Twirl Whirl, so Jacob took me, and guess what?"

"What?" I asked with a smile.

"Jacob couldn't walk straight after, and then he barfed all over Emmett's shoes, and then Rose barfed on Jacob's purse. It was so cool," Anthony said excitedly.

I looked up as the three adults walked slowly into the house, looking completely frazzled.

"I hope you washed off all that vomit before you came into the house," Charlie grumbled.

"Don't worry, we stopped by my house first," Emmett said unenthused. I then noticed that the three of them all appeared to be wearing Emmett's clothes.

"Out of all the places to throw up, why did you have to do it on my purse and designer jeans?" Jacob said bitterly to Rose.

"It's not like I did it on purpose. I have a very high gag reflex, so when I see vomit, I lose my stomach as well," Rose said defensively. "Besides, you started it."

"Um, are you all hungry?" Charlie asked, and they all groaned from the thought of food after being sick, except Anthony.

"Starved," Anthony said quickly.

"Dude, you just had a corndog an hour ago," Emmett said surprised by Anthony's hunger.

"Oh yeah," Anthony said confused, like he didn't actually remember eating. "So, if Rose moves here to marry Emmett, will you move back too?" he asked me.

"Uh…" I said while looking to Edward for help.

"Buddy, Bella is going to be staying with us," Edward told him. "Wherever we are, that's where she'll be."

"Really?" Anthony asked confused but happy.

"Is that ok?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Yeah, but how long are you going to stay with us this time?"

"Uh…"

"Permanently," Edward said quickly. "Bella's not going to leave anymore."

"Will you make me chicken fried steak?" Anthony asked casually.

"Definitely," I told him with a smile. I was surprised that Anthony didn't question Edward more about me living with them; he seemed happy about it, but it was like he didn't believe I was really staying.

We spent the next few hours hanging out and all talking casually, as if it was just a normal day…and it felt really good. That morning, I was in a jail, but it seemed like a lifetime before, or even like it was all just a nightmare. I was with everyone in the world who was important to me, and I couldn't imagine a happier day.

Edward and I kept sneaking off to make-out whenever Anthony's attention was diverted, and I just kept thinking how I couldn't wait until we could be out in the open about everything. I decided then to talk to Edward about telling Anthony the truth the next morning.

"Hey bro, it's getting late, are you guys going to be crashing at my place tonight?" Emmett asked Edward when he saw what time it was.

"Uh…" Edward said unsure while looking at me.

"I have plenty of room here for the three of you," Charlie said to me, knowing I wasn't going to stay anywhere without Edward and Anthony.

"I don't think the three of us can fit on that bed," I said thinking about the way Edward and I almost fell off when we were making love.

"Well, I guess Anthony can sleep on the couch…or he can use my bed and I'll sleep on the couch," Charlie said. It became obvious that he didn't want me to leave, and he was willing to make us comfortable by any means necessary.

"Or, I'll go stay at Emmett's place, and Anthony can sleep in my room. There, problem solved," Rose said with a smile. Emmett raised his eyebrows surprised, but it was definitely a good type of surprise.

"We should leave soon though, because if we're going to full around for a bit, I still need plenty of time to sleep," Rose said casually to Emmett before dragging him upstairs to get her stuff.

After Rose and Emmett left, Edward and I put Anthony to bed together.

"Why are you guys tucking me in like a baby?" Anthony asked us curiously and a little annoyed.

"Uh…I've been away for a while. I just miss you, that's all," Edward told him.

"OK, well, goodnight," Anthony said to him suggestively.

"Goodnight," Edward said while ruffling Anthony's hair.

Edward got up and waited at the doorway for me, but I wasn't ready to leave just yet. "I'll be right there," I told him quietly. He nodded, and then walked away down the hall.

"Are you really going to stay with us permanently?" Anthony asked me skeptically.

"I hope so…that's the plan," I told him not wanting to make any promises because nothing in life was certain.

"Ok…but, just…don't kiss my dad anymore, ok," he said unexpectedly.

"Uh…what do you mean?" I asked taken aback.

"I saw you two kissing earlier, and I just want you to stop."

"Um…" I had no idea what to say at that point. I wasn't going to tell him that I wouldn't kiss Edward anymore, but I didn't want him angry with me either. "Why?" I asked awkwardly.

"Because, I don't like it," he said, and then rolled over so his back was to me.

"Well, we'll talk about it in the morning," I said uncomfortably and then I left the room.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward asked me when I met him in 'my' room.

"Anthony saw us kissing earlier…and he's not happy about it," I said hesitantly.

"What?" Edward said lightly with a chuckle.

"It's not funny," I said seriously. "I told you he was going to hate me. Regardless of his feelings for Tanya, she's still his 'mother' and he's not going to just be thrilled when he finds out his whole life with her has been a lie. It's only natural for a kid to want his parents together, and to him that means you and her."

"Babe, he doesn't give a shit about Tanya," Edward said softly while pulling me down on his lap so we were both sitting on the bed together. I rolled my eyes at his comment, but he wouldn't let it go. "I'm telling you Bella, he doesn't want me back with her, he's probably more mad at me being with you, then you being with me. He doesn't understand it, but he feels very protective of you; you should have heard him when he first met Jake, he absolutely hated him because he thought you two were a couple."

"I just have to prepare myself for a difficult time with him," I said, mostly to myself.

"Ok," he said dismissively, before moving my hair off of my shoulder, and kissing my neck. It was hard to be too upset when Edward's lips were on my skin, so I decided to just let it go for the night.

It was pure heaven sleeping all night naked in Edward's arms, and I knew I'd never be able to sleep without him again…

"Good morning," Edward said groggily when I started moving around a little, due to the intrusion of the sun through the window.

"It's only 'good' because you're here," I said honestly.

"Well, then we'll be having good mornings for the rest of our lives," he said while kissing me again. _God, I loved his kisses. _

"Are we going to make love again this morning?" I asked with a smile.

"Naturally…unless you don't want to," he said disappointedly.

"Come here," I said and pulled him back on top of me so I could welcome him _in_. I couldn't get enough of him, and I couldn't imagine that desire ever lessening. We were made to fit together in that way, it was just a fact. We spent another hour worshiping each other, but then we grudgingly broke apart.

"We gotta tell Anthony today, because I really don't want to waste another day hiding," Edward said while he got up to use the adjoining restroom.

"I was thinking the same thing yesterday, but after what he said to me last night…I'm not sure I want to ever tell him," I said regrettably.

"Oh, we're telling him, and if he does get upset about it, then he's just going to have to get over it," Edward said unfazed.

We agreed that Anthony should learn the truth that day, so we planned on taking him somewhere that we could be alone with him, but that's when we got an unexpected visitor.

"I told you, you're not welcome here," we heard Charlie saying aggressively. Edward and I looked at each other, and then we ran down stairs to see what was wrong. Anthony was still sleeping, but we were already dressed by then, so we were able to go right away.

"I just want to talk to her," a female voice said, and that's when I realized who was there…it was Renee.

"No. She just got here yesterday and I don't need you coming in here and upsetting her," Charlie said forcefully.

We were about to round the corner to the living room, when Edward pulled me to a stop. "Charlie will get rid of her," he said.

"I want to see her," I told him, surprising both of us. I absolutely hated the woman, and I had for the past ten years, but there was still a part of me that craved answers, and if talking to her gave me even the slightest bit of closure, then that's what I needed to do.

"Bella, you don't have to prove anything to anybody. You're strong, we all know you are, but that doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to that woman," Edward tried reasoning with me.

"Edward, please, just trust me when I say that I need to talk to her. I'm fine, everything will be fine, I promise."

He sighed, and then he let go of my arm. "Just remember that I'm here if you need me."

I nodded and then leaned into him for a quick but passionate kiss, before rounding the corner to see my mother for the first time in a decade.

"Damn it, I will arrest you for trespassing," Charlie threatened Renee, but she didn't respond to him because she saw me then. Charlie followed her stare and saw me behind him, so he became extremely protective.

"Honey, don't worry. Go on back upstairs and I'll make sure she leaves," Charlie said to me.

"Bella, you look beautiful," Renee said with tears in her eyes.

"You shut the hell up, you have no business talking to her," Charlie said irately.

"Dad, it's ok," I told him calmly. "I want to speak to her."

"Bells, you don't…"

"Dad, I'm not a little kid anymore. I can handle myself," I assured him.

He huffed, and then he turned back to Renee. "If you do anything to upset her, I'll kill you."

"I just want to talk to her, Charlie," Renee said to him quietly.

I looked at my dad as he glared at Renee, and I could feel Edward's eyes on my back, so I took a deep cleansing breath. "Let's go out back," I told her then led her through the kitchen to the backyard.

"I just can't believe you're really here after so long," Renee said the moment we were alone.

"Cut the shit Renee; tell me what you came here to say," I said strongly.

"I know it may not seem true, given what happened with Anthony, but…I do love you, and everything I did…was out of love."

I just stared at her completely flabbergasted. "Are you serious with that?" I asked.

"Of course I am…Bella, I have always had your best interest at heart," she said.

"Whatever. Edward was right, I don't need this shit," I said frustrated and then turned to walk back into the house.

"Bella wait, I'm dying," she said abruptly. I froze, but didn't turn. "It's stage three lymphoma. If I had gone to the doctor sooner, they said I probably would have made a full recovery, but…I don't have much longer left, and I don't want to die without telling you why I did what I did."

I closed my eyes and then slowly reopened them, before turning back to her. I didn't trust her, and I had no reason to believe her…except that I did, and if she was really dying, then I wanted to give her a chance to make her peace.

"Fine…tell me," I said with a thick voice.

Renee sat on the bench that was there, so I went and sat with her, but leaving the most amount of space between us as possible.

"Have you told Anthony the truth yet?" she asked quietly.

"No, Edward and I plan to do it today," I said coldly.

She nodded to herself. "I'm sure he's going to be so happy. The last time I saw him, all he talked about was you."

"Mom, can we please just get this over with," I said impatiently.

"Bella, in order for you to understand, I need to tell you the truth about Tanya….I was nineteen when I got pregnant with her…which you already know, but what you don't know is _how_ I got pregnant. I always said it was by my boyfriend at the time, but that was a lie. I had so many dreams back then. I was an actress, and I wanted nothing more than to make my way on Broadway, but fate had other plans for me. The director of the play I was in at college…raped me," she said, taking me by surprise.

"How…why?" I asked, not sure what else to say.

"I trusted him, and we were rehearsing late one night, drinking a bit…and he raped me. I was a virgin before that, and it completely changed my life. I found out I was pregnant a few months later, and when I told my parents, they were very supportive and told me that they would help me raise her. At the time, I couldn't imagine giving her up, I loved her from the moment I found out I was pregnant…but then reality set in. Even though my parents helped me with her, there were so many things I missed out on because I was a mother. I couldn't go to Broadway, I couldn't even manage to balance school, work, and taking care of Tanya, so I dropped out of college. I hated my life, and I began resenting my baby because of it…which was so wrong. I tried to live for her, and focus on her…but I just had nothing inside of me to offer her anymore. When I met your dad, things got better for me. He helped me take care of her and gave me some time to be myself…but as much as I tried, I just couldn't find that connection with Tanya that a mother should have. When I had you, it was easy. Charlie loved you so much, and I would look at you and see my beautiful baby…but then I would feel bad because everyone loved you like that, and it just wasn't the same for Tanya."

"Mom, you always favored Tanya over me, so what the hell are you talking about, and what does this have to do with Anthony?" I asked, not willing to let her make me feel sorry for her when I really just wanted to scream in her face.

"I tried to make up for my feelings of resentment towards her by overcompensating with pageants and materialistic things. They seemed to make her happy, so it made me feel slightly better about myself. But when _you_ got pregnant…the _way_ you got pregnant…I just kept thinking about my experience with Tanya. Edward raped you, just like I was raped. Your trusted him, just like I trusted Tanya's father."

"Mom, that's not the same thing," I told her strongly.

"Bella, I'm just telling you the way I saw it… I knew you wanted to keep Anthony yourself, but you were so young, and I had wanted to keep Tanya too after she was born; but looking back on it, I wished I would have put her up for adoption. She would have had such a better life with someone else, and maybe she would have felt the love that I didn't know how to give her, and she wouldn't have turned out to be such a spiteful person."

"If you knew she was such a 'spiteful person', then why would you give my baby to her?" I asked in disbelief.

"I thought she would love him and he would love her. I thought they'd be good for each other, but more importantly, I thought I was giving you your life back. Bella, you were so smart and driven…you could have been absolutely anything, done anything, gone anywhere; you had an amazing life ahead of you, and I thought you would someday realize that. Tanya has always been destined for the life of a small town house wife, who was once a beauty queen. But you, you were going places. I thought the arrangement would work. Tanya wanted Edward's baby, and you would understand and move on with your life in time."

"I'm not you!" I exploded. "I wanted my baby, and you had no right to take him from me," I told her with tears rolling down my cheeks. "I had plans of my own, I wasn't going to give up or miss out on anything. It might have taken longer to achieve, but I would have gotten there eventually. I loved Edward, and I loved our baby, and you projecting your own fears and resentments onto me was just wrong!"

"I know that now, Bella, and I'm so sorry. I was scared and I did the wrong thing. I just thought if you got some separation from Anthony, you would figure out what you wanted to do with your life."

"If all of this is true, then why didn't you ever come when Esme called you to meet with me?" I questioned her.

"I hated myself then, and I know it's no excuse, but I couldn't look at you at that point. I spent so long convincing myself that taking Anthony away from you was what was right, that I couldn't admit my mistake. I was so stubborn, thinking that the longer you were away from us, the more of a chance you had of forgetting and turning your life around. I couldn't admit my failure…and even when we realized that you were the one who took Anthony to Vegas, I still thought that once you knew he was happy, that you would finally move on with your life and become who you were always meant to me."

"Who I was always meant to be…is Anthony's _mother_. I was supposed to marry Edward, and we were supposed to live our lives together. But you gave _my life_ to her, and I died because of it."

"I'm so sorry," she said brokenly. "Even if you can never forgive me, I just needed to tell you all of this before I….just remember that I always loved you. Even if you don't believe me, you've heard my truth and that's the most amount of peace I can hope for."

We were both quiet for awhile, not knowing what else to say. Even if I believed everything she told me, it still didn't make anything better, in fact, it almost made everything worse. Even when I thought she favored Tanya, I still thought she loved me in her own way, but for her to blatantly say that she never really loved Tanya, was just awful.

"I'm pregnant again," I told her quietly. Despite everything, there was still a small part of me that ached for her love and approval...it was a very small part, but a part that would never be quieted if it wasn't resolved before she was gone permanently.

"It's Edward's," she assumed.

I nodded. "We want to build our lives together…salvage whatever we can, and then spend the rest of our lives growing and finding a new way together. We can't get back lost time, but we're not going to waste anymore either."

"If you're happy…then I'm happy for you," she said with a halfhearted smile.

"I am happy. And who knows, maybe I'll go back to school one day and build a career for myself. I just feel like anything is possible right now, and no matter what I decide to do or not do, as long as I have Edward and my kids, nothing else matters to me."

"I'm so sorry Bella…your babies are truly blessed to have a mother like you. I only wish I could have been half the mother that I know you'll be...that you already are."

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably. "And not just for saying that…thanks for coming here. I'm not saying that I forgive you, I'm not sure if I'm even capable of that level of forgiveness right now, but I appreciate you trying."

"I should get going. Charlie and Edward keep glaring at me through the window there, so I guess I've outworn my welcome. Thank you for giving me some time," she said and then gently placed her hand over mine before getting up to leave.

I was in no way over what she did, and I would never forget, but I did let go of some of my anger. Renee was a very troubled woman, so much so that I was sure that her own self induced turmoil was somehow the cause of her cancer. I didn't want to end up like her; I refused to hold on to 'what should have been' any longer. I needed to move on with my life, and not let past events mold my future. I couldn't be afraid of how Anthony would react to the truth, the sooner he found out, the sooner we could move past it.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked me when I went back inside.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I really am. I'm done hating the people who ruined my past; I'm ready to move forward with my life."

And then Edward did something that he hadn't done since I was a kid. He pulled me into him, and kissed my forehead.

"You are absolutely amazing, do you know that?" he said softly. "You're the strongest person I know."

"Just never stop loving me, ok," I murmured.

"Never have stopped, and never will. It's not even possible for me to not love you," he said with conviction.

"We need to go tell Anthony now," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Ok," he whispered, and then he wrapped his arm around my lower back, and led me into the living room to head upstairs.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Jacob said as he came down the stairs.

"How did what go?" I asked confused.

"Well, I mean, I know how it went, I heard the whole thing, but how are you feeling after seeing your mom?"

"Wait, you heard that all the way from your room?" I asked worriedly.

"Well, yeah. This place is kind of stuffy so the windows are all open. Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Jake said apologetically.

"No, it's not that." I turned to look at Edward in a panic. "Anthony."

"Shit," he said understandingly, and we both ran up the stairs as fast as we could. It was still pretty early, so I was hoping he slept through the whole thing, or by chance his window was shut, but when we got to his room, we were horrified of what we found.

Anthony's room was empty.

* * *

><p><strong>Ahhh! <strong>

**Tanya's humiliation will come in the next chapter…but don't you feel just a little sorry for her, I mean her own mother never really loved her, no wonder why she was insane…No? -Ok, maybe it's just me. Lol**

**Just to be clear, Bella did not forgive her mother, but holding onto anger and resentment isn't good for anyone, and it would take an extremely strong person to move past it. (I know I couldn't, I'd hate her for the rest of my life. Lol)**

**Please Review**


	15. Clearing Misconceptions

**She Will B Loved**

~Chapter 15 – _Clearing Misconceptions_~  
>BPOV<p>

"Oh my god, where did he go?" I asked worriedly when we saw that Anthony's room was empty.

Edward huffed. "He's probably in the bathroom," he said calmly before leaving the room to look for Anthony.

I took off downstairs to go look for him there, but after searching the entire house and not finding him, I started to panic.

"I couldn't find him outside, either," Charlie said as he came back into the house.

"Anthony, this isn't funny! Come out, NOW!" Edward yelled to him, but there was no sign of him.

"I'm going to go issue an APB," Charlie said quickly and then grabbed his keys.

"Dad, he has to be here somewhere, right?" I asked hoping that something like an APB wasn't necessary.

"Yeah, Bella's here, so who else would have taken him?" Jacob asked innocently, but I couldn't help but glare at him. "Sorry," he said quietly.

"What about Renee?" Edward asked quietly.

"That Bitch!" Charlie yelled. "I knew she had an ulterior motive for coming here."

"Wait, no. She was with me the whole time, there was no way she had time to sneak in and take him," I told them.

"No, but she was probably just distracting us while Tanya swooped in and grabbed him," Edward seethed.

"You said she left town," I said quietly, not wanting to believe what he was saying.

"No, I said I left her at a bus station…she could have made her way back by now," Edward said through gritted teeth.

"I'm going to go get my cruiser and drive around town looking for him," Charlie said.

"I'm going to go looking too," Edward said before turning back to me. "We'll find him, I promise," he whispered to me before kissing my forehead.

"Wait, I'm coming with you," I said strongly.

"Someone needs to be here in case he shows up," Edward told me.

"Jacob will stay," I volunteered him.

"Yeah definitely," Jacob replied.

"Ok," Edward murmured, so we both took off to his car.

While we drove, we kept scanning the roadside forest, hoping he had just gone for a walk or was playing in the trees somewhere, but we didn't see him.

We drove around aimlessly for over an hour, and with each passing minute that went by, I started to lose more and more hope. I got to spend a few hours being happier than I ever imagined possible, and I was beginning to feel like that was all I was ever going to get. Perhaps I was never meant to have a life with Anthony and Edward; perhaps I pushed my luck and allowed myself to have hope, when I never really deserved it. I screwed up one too many times, and it seemed as though I would spend the rest of my life paying for it. I kidnapped Anthony from Edward, it was only fair that I felt the horror that he went through. At least when I was separated from him before, I knew he was safe…physically anyway.

"Where are we going?" I asked after he seemed to change course.

"I just need to go by the house. It's where he grew up, and if he did run away, then he may have gone there. I just don't know where else to look."

I absolutely hated that house. I hated the years they lived there as a family, I hated the days I spent being locked inside there, and I hated it the most when I was there last, when Tanya lied and said Edward joined the military. I hated everything about that house, but if my son was there, then I knew I'd overlook all that negativity and just be grateful he was safe.

When we pulled up to the house, it looked empty, but then I noticed the blur of someone moving around inside through the curtains.

"Someone's here," I said quietly.

"Well, the realtor has a key," Edward said as we both got out of the car. I didn't even notice the For Sale sign in the lawn until he mentioned it.

Edward reached for the door, and when he turned it, it opened right away. It wasn't locked.

"Hello?" Edward called out. Whoever we saw moving around, definitely didn't want to be seen. "Anthony?"

"What's wrong with Anthony? Why can't you find him?" Tanya said as she came into view.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Edward fumed.

"This is my house," she said sharply as she looked back and forth between us.

"No. I told you to get the hell out of town!" he yelled at her.

"You were calling for Anthony, why would you think he was here?" she asked, ignoring his outburst.

"Anthony is none of your business," he told her strongly. "Unless you're the one who took him."

"Wait, he's missing again?" she asked alarmed. "What the hell did you do?" she cried out to me.

"Her?" Edward said incredulously. "You bitch. I swear if you had anything to do with this…"

"Edward, I would never take him…that's _her_ deal," Tanya said defensively.

"Tanya, I'm going to let you in on a little secret…Bella is Anthony's _mother_. She has the right to take him wherever the hell she wants. She wouldn't have a need to hide him. If she wanted to take him to Timbuktu for the rest of his life, then she could and I would never go after them."

"You would just let her take him to who knows where, and you wouldn't chase them?" Tanya said skeptically.

"No, because now that I know the truth, the way I see it, Bella is the only one who should have any say in his life. She's the only one who is innocent in this huge mess that is all of our lives, and if she wanted to take him away from everyone who has ever hurt her, then she has every right to. I trust her completely with him, and I know she would only do what she thought was best for him…which is something that you have _never_ done."

"Don't give me that bull. You would never let anyone leave with Anthony permanently," Tanya challenged him.

"I didn't say it would be easy, but yes, I would. Now, get the hell out of my house!" Edward said aggressively.

"I thought you were accusing me of kidnapping?" she said smugly.

"No; you're stupid, but not suicidal," he said threateningly. "Now, leave."

"I have nowhere else to go," she said quietly. "I promise, I won't make any trouble for you here. I won't even gossip about anything. Everyone already knows we're divorced now, so there will be no more pretending."

When Edward didn't respond, she turned towards me. "I have nothing left, and you have everything now. Just please, let me stay until I can figure out something else to do with myself. You're leaving anyway, right? You always hated this town, you could go anywhere. This is the only place I could ever be."

I shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere else to go, but I lived through it…and I was only a teenager at the time. I'm sure you'll be fine," I told her calmly.

"But you have always been a survivor, I'll die out there," she pleaded.

"I died…a few times," I said unsympathetically. "Edward, we don't have time for this; we need to find Anthony."

He glared at her for an extra moment, before letting out a hard angry breath. "This house is for sale, so you better get your shit and be gone. If I ever find you in here again, I'll have you arrested."

"Fine…but you can't make me leave town," she said stubbornly.

"We'll see about that," he said with a conniving tone, and then I grabbed his hand and pulled him back outside.

"I'm not just going to disappear into thin air!" Tanya yelled after us. "I have every right to be here!"

Edward and I got back into the car, and he started driving again. We were both quiet for a minute, but I could tell he had something he wanted to say, so I just waited.

"I'm sorry about that," he said quietly. "I really thought she left town."

"I refuse to let her or Renee get me upset anymore," I told him. In truth, seeing Renee then having Anthony go missing, before being ambushed by Tanya, was extremely hard to deal with especially because it was all in the same day, but I refused to let it get me down. All I cared about in that moment was finding Anthony, and beyond that nothing else mattered.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "I know where he is," I told Edward quickly. I wasn't sure how I knew, but I was positive that I did.

"Where?" he asked confused by my sudden revelation.

"My parent's house," I said assuredly.

"Bella, Charlie sold that house to one of his deputies. Why would you think he would be there anyway?"

"Edward, I know this sounds crazy, but I'm sure he's there. Just drive by, and if I'm wrong then we'll just continue looking."

"Ok," he said quietly and then turned the car around to head in that direction.

When we pulled up to the familiar driveway, I was shocked by how unchanged it was. I really expected the new owners to have painted it at least, but it was the same faded and cracked white it had been the last time I saw it.

Edward sat there in the car for a second, but I got right out without hesitation.

"Bella, the family is home; Anthony doesn't even know them, he wouldn't be here," Edward said as he followed my lead and got out of the car.

"He's here Edward," I told him doubtlessly. It was like I could feel him, as strongly as I could when he was still inside me. That house held a lot of horrible memories for me, but it was also the first and last place I saw Edward before all hell broke loose in my life, and it was also the last place I saw Anthony when he was a baby. Anthony was there, he had to be.

Edward started walking up to the porch, but I walked straight to the unfenced backyard.

"Bella?" I heard Edward say quietly from behind me.

I stopped and turned around to him. "Will you just go knock on the door and let them know that I'm back here?" I asked him. He looked at me skeptically. "Just trust me." I begged him with my eyes to believe me, and he actually did. After staring at me for a moment, he pressed his lips together, and nodded before going back around to the front of the house.

I looked up at the rickety old tree house that I built when I was six with Charlie, and even though I didn't see any movement between the slats, I scaled the ladder anyway.

When I got to the top, I looked in hesitantly and was hit with a déjà vu accompanied with a flood of memories…but I wasn't surprised. I knew he'd be there, and as he stared at me knowing he was found, he looked exactly like Edward did the first time I ever saw him. That tree house was where my life began with Edward, and it was also where my new life as Anthony's mother would begin. He knew the truth, I could see it in his eyes, and it was time for me to step up and be the mother I should have always been to him.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Just leave me alone," Anthony said as he pulled his knees up and hid his face.

I climbed the rest of the way into the tree house and went to sit next to him. I wanted to put my arms around him and tell him everything would be fine, but I knew he wouldn't want that in that moment.

"You heard my conversation with Renee," I said, it wasn't a question at that moment, but I waited for a response just the same.

He kept his face buried, but he nodded.

"Anthony, I am so sorry that you had to find out like that. Your dad and I were planning to tell you today, but we just never got the chance." He didn't respond, so I continued. "When I was fifteen, I gave birth to you, and my parents thought it would be best to have my sister raise you as her own. I was upset…and heartbroken, and I couldn't handle it."

"You wanted to keep me?" Anthony mumbled into his knees.

"Of course I did. I loved you so much, even before you were born. I wanted to be the one there for you, but my parents didn't give me that chance, so I got angry and left."

"Why did you leave, why didn't you wait and then just take me when they weren't looking?" he asked.

"They sent me away to a school, and when I was finally able to run away, you were already a year old and with your dad. I wanted to take you, but by then, you were already calling Tanya 'mommy' and you looked so happy with your dad," I explained softly. "I should have told your dad the truth back then, but I just didn't know how. I regretted giving up every day since then, but I just didn't know how to fight anymore."

"Why didn't my dad tell me the truth?"

"He didn't know. He was overseas when you were born, and when he got back, Tanya told him that you were hers."

"Why would my dad date both of you at the same time…and what does 'rape' mean?" he asked while finally looking up at me.

"He didn't date both of us at the same time, he was dating Tanya, but…" I really had no idea how to explain the truth to him. I didn't know if he was even old enough to understand things like sex and where babies come from, but he was waiting for an answer, and I needed to come up with one. "There was…some confusion that night, and…."

"My dad was with you instead of her?" he concluded. I was surprised how easily he understood, but I could still see the hurt and confusion written all over his face, especially in his eyes.

"I should have told him the truth a long time ago…I just didn't know how," I told him pathetically. I never hated myself more than I did in that moment. Trying to explain it to him, without the excuse of being worried that the truth would send Edward to jail, just made me realize how incredibly stupid I had been. I gave up, and I should have realized that would hurt him if he were to ever realize the truth. I could blame Charlie, Tanya, and Renee all I wanted, but all Anthony could see was that _I_ abandoned him. He had every right to be angry, and I wasn't there to try to lessen that, I just wanted him to be sure that I loved him, and always had. "Anthony, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now."

"I don't think my mom…I mean Tanya….I don't think she ever really loved me. I'm glad she's not really my mom," Anthony said surprisingly. As much as I hated my own mother, if I found out that she didn't give birth to me, I'd still be upset and feel a sense of loss. It would be like losing a piece of me, so I was beyond shocked by Anthony's comment.

"Anthony, it's ok to feel sad about everything…it would be hard for anyone to find out they were adopted," I told him.

"She never really felt like a mom to me. Whenever I would see other moms in the park, or even on TV, it always seemed so different then what I had. But…when I met you, it felt like that. Then you left, and you showed up again and took me on vacation, and then you were gone again. What's going to make you stay this time?"

"Everyone knows the truth now, I have no reason to leave. Anthony I always wanted to be here with you, _always_. Your dad was older than me when you were born, and I was worried he was going to get in trouble for it…"

"Is that what 'rape' means?" he asked abruptly.

"Rape can mean a few things, and it's definitely not something you want to go around talking about, but in our case, yes, that's what it meant."

"And my dad would have gone to jail?" he asked worriedly.

"At the time, but he can't now, so I don't want you to worry about it."

"I bet Charlie was so pissed," he said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure he was, but your dad was away then, so Charlie didn't feel the need to arrest him."

"Are you really going to have a baby?" Anthony asked becoming upset again.

"Uh..yeah…you're going to be a big brother," I said thinking he would actually like the idea.

"Are you going to give that baby up for adoption too?" he asked.

"No, honey," I told him sadly. I hated making him feel like he even had to question that. "When your dad said that I'm going to stay with you guys permanently, that meant the baby too. The four of us are going to be together now, and nothing is going to break us apart again," I told him.

"But…you can't have another baby. Grandma Renee said that she never really loved her first baby, that she could only love you…so you can't have another baby, because then you won't want me anymore."

"Anthony, that's not true…" I started to say, but then he cut me off.

"Yes, it is. I heard Grandma say that you were just like her with all these dreams and places to go, but then you had a baby too young and it ruined your life…and then you're going to have a second one and you'll love it more, just like grandma did."

"Listen to me. Grandma was a very…disturbed woman. What she said, wasn't normal. Most people can have more than one child and love all of them. I mean, can you even imagine your dad loving you any less? Because I can't."

"But my mom…I mean Tanya, said the same thing. A few years ago, I asked her why I didn't have a brother or sister, and she said that it was because that when people have more than one kid, that the first one always gets overlooked and loved less. She said that parents don't know how to love more than one kid."

I shook my head at the ridiculousness of Tanya's explanation to him. The truth was that Anthony didn't have any siblings from her because she couldn't have children to begin with, and also her and Edward didn't have a sex life. Though, I was sure that if she could conceive, she would have gotten pregnant by one of her lovers. I just didn't understand what would have possibly possessed her to tell a child that he wouldn't be loved if a baby would be brought into the family. It was disgusting, and I could feel my hate for her boil up even more. I realized then that Anthony ran away mainly because of that fact. He heard I was going to have another baby, and he got scared of what that would mean for him.

"Anthony, I swear to you, having another baby wouldn't change how your dad and I feel about you. What Tanya and Renee said were completely wrong. It's not even possible to love you less than we already do."

He looked at me for a little while, and then sighed. "Are you and my dad going to get married now?"

"Um…we haven't really talked about that just yet, but we probably will eventually…would that upset you? I know you weren't happy about us kissing yesterday."

"I just didn't want you guys to be a couple…only to break up the way he did with Tanya. I haven't seen her in awhile now, and you said you were staying with us, so I didn't want you guys to get into a fight or something because then you'd leave again. Besides, the last thing Tanya said to me was to not worry, because no matter what happened, or who my dad dates, they'll always get back together. So, I thought he'd just end up hurting you. I wanted you to stay, so I wanted my dad to leave you alone."

"Anthony…your dad married Tanya because he thought that's what was best for you…but he and I, we have a different relationship."

"You love each other," he said with the slight smile returning to his face. "He never loved Tanya. He didn't tell me that, but I could see it. He looks at you differently…the way Han Solo looked at Princess Leia. First it was just like in 'A New Hope' when they first met, they liked each other but they were trying to hide it, and then it became more like in 'Empire Strikes Back', where Han gets mad at Leia for kissing Luke because he didn't know they were really siblings, kinda like you and Jake… And now, he kinda looks at you the way Han did at Leia at the end of "Return of the Jedi'."

"Uh…" I was actually speechless; I really had no idea how to respond to that. "Yeah, it's just like that," I said unsure of what exactly I was agreeing with, but he seemed happy about it, so I decided to just go with it.

"I'm sorry I ran away. Is dad really mad at me?" he asked worriedly.

I peeked outside the tree house door, and saw Edward sitting on a bench casually. He obviously knew I found Anthony, otherwise he wouldn't look so relaxed. "No, he's not mad. We were just really worried about you, that's all. How did you get all the way over here anyway?" I asked thinking about how far into the woods Charlie's house was.

"Grandpa bought me a mountain bike, and I took that. I didn't stay on the street 'cause I didn't want anyone to find me…but I'm glad you did. I don't think I could have stayed up here much longer."

"Yeah, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world," I agreed, despite the many happy nights I spent in there.

"Do you like it? Grandpa said we were going to try to take it to his new house, but we just haven't had a chance yet. It's mine, so the kids that live in this house now don't play in it."

"I love this tree house. You know, I helped Charlie build it a long time ago," I told him.

"Really?" he said surprised.

"Yeah, in fact, the very first time I met you dad, it was in here. We used to camp up here all the time together…even in the freezing winter."

"Why?" he asked, disturbed by the thought.

I shrugged. "It was a place where we'd come to be together…just the two of us. I don't think anyone else has ever been in here."

"Grandpa said I could have it," he said defensively, as if he was worried I'd be angry that he was inside.

"Anthony, of course you can have it. I wouldn't want anyone else to have it more," I assured him.

"I don't really have any friends in Forks, so you don't have to worry about anyone else being in here, but maybe when my brother is born, he can come up here with me," he said hesitantly.

"I think that would be a great idea…but if you ever do want to bring a friend over, it's ok to bring them in here too. It's _your_ tree house now, and you can invite whoever you'd like inside it."

"Maybe I should ask dad first. If it was special to him too, then he might not want me to bring other kids in here."

"I'm sure he'd be fine with it," I said with a smile.

"Bella?" he asked after a minute.

"Yeah?"

"What happened to Tanya? Where did she go?" he asked concerned. Even though he said he was happy about her not being his mother, I knew he would always care about her. Anthony was a very loving kid, even towards people who didn't deserve or reciprocate it. Although, I had to believe that Tanya did love him…in her own disconcerting way, she probably loved him as much as she was capable of. Even if it wasn't true, I would always tell myself that she did, because the alternative meant that not only was my son unloved by the only mother he knew, but that Tanya was far beyond the capability of being saved. I didn't wish ill will on Tanya, I just didn't want her anywhere near my family ever again.

"Well, she's trying to make a new life for herself….do you _want_ to see her?" I asked reluctantly. As much as I wanted him a world away from her, perhaps he needed closure as I did with Renee. I had to give Anthony something he never had before…a choice. I refused to suffocate him the was Tanya had, and as much as I hated it, if he felt like he needed to see her, than I would make sure that he did.

"No. I don't want to see her. She took me from you, and she tried to keep me away from my dad when they first separated, so I really don't want to be anywhere near her again…I was just curious."

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Yeah…dad said she wasn't going to come back, but I keep thinking that she will and she'll find a way to make me leave with her again."

I shook my head. "You're not going anywhere with her, I promise."

"Bella?" he asked again.

"Yeah?"

"Would it be weird if I called you 'mom'?"

I smiled at him, and my heart felt like it was going to flutter out of my chest. "No, that wouldn't be weird. But only call me that if you're comfortable with it."

"After I met you at that park when we played basketball together….I actually dreamed that you were my mom. So, in a way, I guess I always knew it was true. I want to call you mom, because that's what you are…even if you weren't though, I'd probably want to call you that anyway; you know, if you married my dad."

"I would love for you to call me that," I said feeling entirely exuberant inside. I went from such a low after not knowing where he was and seeing Tanya, to an extreme high knowing that Anthony finally knew the truth and he was happy about it, and even wanted to call me 'mom'. For the first time since I was a kid, I had no worries. The two most important people in the world to me knew my entire truth, we were all going to be together, and there wasn't anything else that mattered.

"Mom?" he asked with a grin.

"Yes," I said with an even bigger grin.

"Let's go home."

"Sure thing," I said to him. Even though we didn't technically have a place to call home, I knew what he meant. Anywhere the three of us could be together and relax, was home.

We climbed down the ladder, and then Anthony saw Edward and smiled sheepishly. "Hi dad," he said quietly.

Edward had a stern expression on his face, but then he smiled and hugged him. "I'm glad you're ok," he whispered to him.

"Sorry," Anthony mumbled back.

"Just don't do that ever again, ok? Your _mother_ was worried sick," he said with a wink to me.

Anthony pulled back to smile at him, and then he grabbed my hand and the three of us we walked towards the car. "Don't forget my bike," Anthony told Edward as we passed it.

"We should call Charlie," I told Edward when we got into the car.

"I already did, so he called off the APB," Edward told me.

"Oh, good," I said.

"And by the way," Edward said casually while looking at Anthony in the rear view mirror. "I'm confiscating your bike. It's been repossessed for the next two weeks."

"What? Dad that is so not fair," he complained.

"Well, that's what happens when you cause false alarms with the police," Edward told him. "Just be lucky that I don't take away more."

"Mom, can't you help me out with this?" he said taking me off guard. He was already doing the divide and conquer tactic….and I was absolutely putty in his hands.

I looked at Edward pleadingly, and he rolled his eyes but then sighed with a smile. "Fine, _one_ week," Edward gave in.

"Dad," Anthony whined.

"Dude, not only did you run away, but we had to get the police out looking for you too," Edward defended his decision.

"Dad, come on. You try finding out that your mom is really your aunt and your aunt is really your mom," Anthony said dramatically.

I couldn't help but laugh silently at his attempt to not be punished. Edward glanced over at me, and then started laughing with me.

"Fine, since your mom is here, then she can decide what to do with you," Edward said with raised eyebrows directed towards me.

"That's not fair," I whispered to him with faux resentment.

"Hey, best way to get into the ocean of parenthood, is to just dive right in head first," he said with a chuckle.

I shook my head, but smiled with him. "Ok, well I think this was an extenuating circumstance, and he should be let off the hook with a warning…or maybe community service like helping Charlie with the pine needle raking in his yard."

Edward looked smug, and Anthony looked a little perturbed.

"I was thinking more like pizza and ice cream," Anthony said with furrowed brows.

Edward and I both laughed out loud then, and Anthony tried to hold his pout, but then he started laughing too. It was a blissfully surreal moment, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Not only was I finally where I belonged, but we were quickly becoming a true _normal_ family. I couldn't imagine anything better than a little ordinary simple monotony with my guys, and I couldn't wait until we got to the point where we could all take it for granted.

…

We spent the next couple weeks all staying together at Charlie's house, and getting to know each other as a family. It was absolutely amazing. Every day was just like when I stayed with them for that week…except Jake and Charlie were with us, and Rose and Emmett came over almost every day. But it was good to have them all there; like having an extended family to go with our new little family.

Anthony, Edward, and I had our alone time too. We would go to the beach or we'd even just pack a picnic in the woods surrounding the house; we needed that time together, and everyone else understood. Except for when Anthony went to school however, we pretty much stayed clear of town, it was just easier that way. Forks was still a small town, and I didn't feel like wasting my breath by telling random people our story. I wasn't ashamed of anything, and I didn't care if people knew, I just didn't want to be interrupted by their questioning stares and intrusive whispers.

We knew we didn't want to stay in Forks permanently, but we didn't want to rush into anything either. We decided to take that time and really consider all our options, in order to make our next move one that we wouldn't regret. Edward kept doing little jobs for his friend Jasper, but until we figured out where we wanted to move, he thought it would be better to keep it to a minimal.

"Mom, when will I be able to feel the baby move?" Anthony asked me one day. My stomach was just starting to bulge out, and Anthony liked to come up to me and pat my stomach…and I still couldn't help but smile every time he called me 'mom'; I knew I would never get tired of hearing it.

"Um…it'll probably be a few weeks still," I guessed.

Edward absolutely adored my stomach as well. He was in the military before and obviously never got to see me pregnant with Anthony, or Anthony as a newborn, so he was probably more excited about the whole thing than anyone. I laughed one night as he was talking to my stomach in bed, and said to him, "Do you realize that neither of us knows how to really take care of a newborn."

He just smiled unworried and replied, "well, good; we'll figure it out together." That was the way things were with us. Any issues we had for whatever reason, we made sure that we figured it out as a cohesive unit. I knew that we would probably have our share of arguing and disagreements during the course of our lives together, but for the time being, we were perfectly in sync.

"Yo Bells, there's a call for you!" Charlie called to me. Edward and I were finally taking time to figure out our next move, but then I got the phone call that would make that decision even harder.

"Who is it?" I asked thinking it was strange for anyone to be calling me.

"Didn't say, but he didn't sound familiar," Charlie said while handing me the phone.

"Thanks," I told my dad before he walked out of the room. "Hello, this is Bella," I said into the phone.

"Yes, Ms. Swan, this is Doctor Amun at the Forks Hospice."

"O-kay," I said confused.

"We have you listed on the next of kin for your mother Renee Swan," Dr. Amun said. "I'm just calling to tell you that she's taken a turn for the worse. She's developed an aggressive case of pneumonia, and I don't know how much longer she has."

"I'll be right there," I said absently. I never planned on seeing her again, but after getting that phone call, I couldn't imagine not visiting her one last time.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked as I grabbed my coat.

"My mom's doctor just called, she doesn't have much time left," I said solemnly.

"I love you," He said with a supportive smile. He didn't need to question my actions at that point, and even if he didn't agree, he trusted me to make my own decisions.

I reached up and kissed his lips, before grabbing the car keys. "I'll be back soon," I told him.

When I got to the hospice, I was absolutely stunned at the state my mother was in. I knew she was sick, but seeing her completely debilitated was definitely a surreal moment.

"She's very ill, I doubt she's coherent enough to talk," the nurse told me before she left.

"Thank you," I said, and then went to sit next to my mother.

It was really hard for me to look at her like that, she looked more like a strange random elderly woman than my mother. She deteriorated so quickly too, it had only been a couple weeks since I saw her last, and while she didn't look great then, she certainly didn't look anything close to what she became.

"Hey mom, I'm here," I murmured to her, not expecting a response.

"Bella?" she croaked, making me jump.

"Yeah, it's me," I said softly.

"You came," she said.

"Of course I did," I told her, like it wasn't even a question.

"Bella…there hasn't a day that's gone by, when I didn't think about you. I failed you as a mother…but I always loved you. You're everything I knew you could be….the strongest person I ever knew. I'm so sorry… to both you and your sister. If you ever see her again…. if you can ever find a way to forgive….please tell her that I'm sorry too.

I nodded and as she reached for me, I grabbed her hand. "I'll tell her," I promised.

As the hours dragged on, Renee became too weak to talk, but she pointed to the drawer by her bed, so I opened it to get whatever she wanted. Inside the drawer, was the book '_Goodnight Moon_,' which was the exact copy that she used to read to me when I was little. A tear rolled down my cheek, but then I quickly wiped it away, refusing to lose it in that moment.

I opened the book, and began to read it out loud for her….

"_Goodnight comb and goodnight brush,_

goodnight nobody goodnight mush,

and goodnight to the old lady whispering "hush".

Goodnight stars, goodnight air,

goodnight noises everywhere."*

When I looked back up at my mother, I knew she was dead. It happened so quickly, and despite the lifetime's worth of pain she caused me, I cried for her. She was my mother, and she was gone. I became suddenly grateful for the talk we had a few weeks before, because even if I couldn't admit it at the time, I was at peace with everything in that moment. For what it was worth, she had apologized, and I accepted.

I spent a little more time with my mother, before squeezing her hand for the last time, and walking away from her. I had to fill out some paperwork, which I made sure I read thoroughly, and then I drove home.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked when I got home and he saw the look on my face.

I nodded, and then I started crying again before falling into his arms.

"It'll never be the way it used to be," I said into his shoulder. I hated them all for so long, that I forgot that I actually loved them once, and it'll never be that way again. "She'll never brush my hair and tell me how she wished her hair was like mine…she'll never read to me…we'll never have Sunday breakfasts again…" I continued on, but Edward just held me tightly and let me get it all out.

"I need to go to try to find Tanya…do you really think she left town?" I asked him.

"No, you don't…she'll find out on her own eventually. Let's just take care of you right now," he told me gently.

"I'm fine…she already made her own arrangements, so there isn't really anything I need to do…but I'd like to stay for her funeral," I told him knowing he wanted to leave Forks soon.

"Of course," he said without hesitation.

"I'm glad I got the chance to talk to her, though," I told him.

"Me too," he said softly back. "Making peace is always best."

Telling Anthony that Renee had passed away, was difficult. She was his grandmother, and he loved her, so she would definitely be missed by him. Charlie, on the other hand, had a mix of emotions.

"Good riddance," he said coldly at first, but I could see the sorrow in his eyes. It didn't matter the way they ended up, he married her out of love, and that never fully goes away.

I went to bed that night the same way I had been falling asleep since I got back to Forks, in Edward's arms after making love, but when we woke up, the world seemed different somehow. Edward went with me to town to pick up some funeral attire for us and Anthony, but when we got there, everyone seemed to be staring….and then people actually started coming up to me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," one woman, whose name I couldn't remember, said.

"Bella, I had no idea," someone else told me. I continued to get random people coming up to me and apologizing, which I assumed was because of my mother's death, but then we saw it…the front page of the Forks newspaper read '_THE UGLY DUCKLING_!…_The Truth About the Swan Who Flew Away'_.

"What the hell is that?" I asked shocked.

Edward picked up a paper and paid the vender before reading the story printed.

"It's your story…it's all here from you getting pregnant, to Tanya and Renee taking Anthony from you, all the way until your mother died yesterday," he explained.

"Who would do this?" I asked unsure if I should be horrified, or relieved that _everyone_ finally knew the truth.

"Renee," he said stunningly.

"What…how?"

"Apparently she wrote this before she got really sick, and asked the nurses to send it into the paper. This is a small town, something this scandalous would make headlines," he said while slowly shaking his head incredulously.

"Why would she do that?" I asked before taking the paper out of his hands so I could read it myself.

"Maybe…maybe she just didn't want you to be the butt of town gossiping. At least this way, it doesn't look like you broke up your sister's marriage and stole her kid," Edward said casually.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"What? Oh come on, you know that's what these harpies here thought," he said defensively.

"Yeah, I guess. You know, this doesn't paint such a good picture of you," I said while reading my mother's version of him.

He shrugged. "I really don't care. This story is actually pretty accurate, and so is her description of what I did to you."

"It's no one's business but ours," I said feeling a little angry. "We're moving away soon, but Charlie is the police chief and he's going to have to live with everyone knowing all our _dirty laundry_."

"Hey, this is our 'dirty laundry', not yours. You have nothing to be ashamed of," he told me intensely.

"And you're _my_ family," I said intensely back.

"Don't worry about me. Despite the obvious intrusion into our privacy, I do think Renee's heart was in the right place with this," Edward said while looking at the article again.

"That was always the problem with my mother, she either acted with her heart, or her brain…but never both at the same time. This article makes Tanya out to be the wicked witch of the west, with Renee being the witch of the East. Dead, but just as bad as the other. I can't imagine how Tanya is handling this," I said.

"All she ever really cared about was public perception…this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to her…" he chuckled. "She completely deserves it. This is the one time that I'll ever hope she's still in town. I'd love to see her face after reading this."

We finished shopping, and went back to Charlie's place. The funeral was set for two days from then, so we opened up conversations about our plans for the future again.

"I was thinking about getting my GED with an online course, and then maybe going to a junior college eventually," I told Edward. "New York has some great programs."

"Do you really want to move all the way to the opposite side of the country. What about Charlie, and Jacob?"

"We'll still see them. Jake plans to go back to Vegas anyway, and that's definitely not where I want to raise our kids. Rose seems pretty happy here with Emmett, so we'll just have to make it a point to come visit as much as we can."

"You're sure about this?" he asked with a poorly contained smile.

"Absolutely," I said confidently. "It was our plan right…I mean just because it's been over a decade since we first thought of it, doesn't mean we can't still follow through."

He nodded. "But if you don't like it there, promise me that you'll tell me."

"I promise."

I leaned in to kiss him, when we heard Charlie's police scanner start to sound. Usually Charlie turned it off when he wasn't home, but by accident, or perhaps by fate, he forgot that day. Most of the time we could ignore it because it was quiet, but something made me pull away from our kiss to listen.

"White female…late twenties….held up in the abandoned mill….threatening suicide. All available units proceed with caution…believed to be armed," this dispatcher said. The scanner kept going in and out reception, so I missed some of what she said, but I knew she had to be talking about Tanya.

"Oh my god," I said while looking at Edward in horror. I grabbed my purse and ran towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked as he ran after me.

"The abandoned mill, of course!" I told him without pausing….

* * *

><p><strong>I know there will be a mixed reaction about Tanya's humiliation. Some might say that Bella and Edward were also humiliated, but neither of them really care, and Tanya definitely does. Even if I didn't write it out entirely, she was definitely humiliated, I promise, and it will be explained further next.<strong>

**I'm hoping to end the story in the next chapter, but there will either be an Epilogue that follows, or I'll include it in the next chapter. **

***The children's book '**_**Goodnight Moon'**_** was written by Margaret Wise Brown. No copyright infringement intended.**

**George Lucas owns all 'Star Wars'. No copyright infringement was intended.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	16. Unconditional

**She Will Be Loved**

~Chapter 16 –_Unconditional_~  
>BPOV<p>

"Bella really, what's the point?" Edward asked as he jumped in the passenger seat of his car. "We don't even know if it's her."

"Well, I'm not just going to let her kill herself," I said as I drove the car onto the street.

"Why not?" he asked casually.

I turned my head to glare at him.

"What?" he asked innocently. "Oh, come on Bella. She's probably just seeking attention and sympathy…_if_ it's even her. Besides, what do you think you can do about it? Obviously the mill is surrounded by cops, and if she really has a gun, or whatever, than there is no way they, or me, will allow you anywhere near her. We didn't finally get our lives on track for you to go and get yourself shot by Tanya. You're pregnant, remember?"

"My sister is _not_ going to shoot me," I said unconfidently.

"Right, and I bet you thought she'd never steal your baby too," he said mockingly.

"Edward, I just need to be there," I told him. "Even if all I do is sit in the car, and watch the police moving about."

He sighed. "Ok, but don't expect me to let you out of my sight for a second."

"Of course not," I said with a reassuring smile, before leaning into him for a quick kiss.

"By the way, do you even have a license?" he asked after realizing that I was driving.

I laughed. "Yeah. When I was eighteen, Esme helped to get all of my legal IDs back. Jake taught me to drive, and I took the test."

"Oh…cool," he said.

When we pulled up to the mill, we were stopped by a police car blocking the street.

"I'm sorry ma'am, we're not letting anyone through," an officer said to me. "Oh, hey Edward."

"Hi Mike," Edward said with an annoyed undertone.

"Oh…Bella Swan, right?" the officer asked me.

"Uh…yeah," I said hesitantly.

"I read about you in the paper. Wow, you've really grown up, I didn't even recognize you. Hey, if you're going to be in town for awhile, do you want to go catch a movie with me sometime. I know Anthony pretty well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind you going on a date with me," Mike said flirtatiously.

"Uh…" I looked at Edward, and he looked like he was about to jump out of the car and get himself arrested for assault on an officer.

"Hey fucktart," Edward said to him.

"Excuse me?" Mike said arrogantly.

"You heard me. Get your slimy hands off my window and don't ever hit on Bella again, or I'll have to rip your arms off."

"Do you realize who you're speaking to right now?" Mike said pompously.

"Yeah, a rent-a-cop without any real skills, so they put you on traffic duty. Now, back the fuck up," Edward said aggressively.

"Look, we're not in high school anymore; you don't rule this place. Right here, right now, I'm the boss."

"Right, keep telling yourself that," Edward said uncaringly. "But, like I said, don't talk to my girlfriend or you won't be able to see straight for a week."

"Are you threatening me, Masen?" Mike asked.

"Yes," Edward said without hesitation.

"After what I read in the paper, don't think Charlie is going to bail you out of anything. I'm sure the man would love nothing more than to see you behind bars," Mike said with a smirk.

"Really? Well when I get back to his house tonight where I'm _staying_ while in town, then I'll talk to him about that….Don't believe everything you read in the papers, moron. Charlie and I are fine, and Bella is with me now, so put your disgusting tongue away and stop drooling over her."

"You raped his daughter and married his step daughter, why the hell would he let you anywhere near his house?" Mike asked disgusted.

"Ok, well this has been fun," I said, trying to end the conversation before Edward got out of the car and the confrontation turned physical. "Thanks for the offer Mike, but I am with Edward and actually we're going to have another baby…. but even if we weren't, I really wouldn't be interested."

Mike seemed pretty surprised by my comment, and after thinking about it for a moment, he asked "Why not?"

"Well, no offense, but I like my men a little bigger. The whole 'Napoleon Complex' thing doesn't work for me," I said with an irritated smile. I didn't turn to look at Edward, but I knew he was extremely amused by my comment. "If you'll excuse us, I'm just here to bring my dad some lunch," I lied. I wasn't even sure if Charlie was there or not, but with it being such a small town, and his step daughter in question, I figured he'd be there.

"Whatever," Mike said angrily, and then moved back so we could pass.

Edward started laughing as we drove pass, and may have even flipped off Mike out the window, but I didn't turn to look at him to be sure. "Can't you get arrested for hassling a cop?" I asked.

"If he was a real cop, but Mike never passed the test, so Charlie took pity on him and made him a security guard/junior cop thingy. He basically does traffic and writes out parking tickets," Edward explained with a chuckle.

"I thought he was your friend?" I asked confused.

"I never liked the guy. Emmett always felt bad for him because they were friends in kindergarten, so I was nice to him, but then he hit on Emmett's ex girlfriend, and basically they haven't spoken since."

"Oh…" was all I said, because not only did I not really care, but I was about to park the car. There were about four police cars there, and all the cops standing around turned to look at me.

"Bells?" Charlie said when he saw me. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, but was glaring at Edward.

"Hey, this was definitely not my idea," Edward said defensively.

"We heard your police scanner," I explained. "It's Tanya, isn't it?"

"You don't need to worry yourself about it," Charlie said dismissively.

"Dad, if my sister is threatening suicide, then I want to know," I said sternly.

Charlie huffed. "Apparently, she was staying with a friend of hers, and when the newspaper came out, she didn't handle it very well."

"Yeah, no kidding," Edward said lightly. Charlie and I both glared at him, but he just shrugged it off.

"Her friend said she found a suicide note, and then the security guard here said there was a woman threatening to jump off the tower," Charlie said.

"There isn't a tower high enough," Edward muttered.

"Now, listen here. Tanya's a lot of things, but I've known that girl since she was little and I don't want to hear anymore jokes. Two wrongs don't make a right, and regardless of the things she's done, she doesn't need to kill herself," Charlie said with authority to Edward.

"I'm sorry Charlie, you're right. Won't happen again," Edward assured him. "Why do you have a guard working all the way out here anyway? Isn't this place abandoned?"

"They have had a lot of vandalism out here lately, bored teens and such. Anyway, we had to put a guard out here just to detour the kids from coming."

"So, what's the plan? Has anyone even gone inside to talk to her yet?" I asked Charlie.

"Most of us just got here. The security guard said he thought he saw her with a gun, so we're trying to not rush anything. But, I'm going to go in now until the psychologist can get down here."

I watched as Charlie disappeared into the mill, and I couldn't help but be worried for the both of them. If Tanya did really have a gun and she had nothing to live for, then I could see her pointing the gun at Charlie and taking him out before turning it on herself. Maybe she resented Charlie for his role in her life for some unknown reason, and decided to make him pay. Either way, I just didn't think Charlie was the best person to go in there to talk to her.

We waited for ten minutes, but then I just couldn't take it anymore. The biggest mistake I ever made, was waiting around while my life went on without me, and I refused to sit back and wait anymore. I hated my sister, but if my mother's death taught me anything, it was that life was too short to harbor grudges.

I glanced over at Edward and he was talking casually to another officer, who by the looks of it, was another of Edward's old acquaintances, so I used his distraction to sneak into the mill. It may have been completely stupid of me, and if I ever saw someone else doing what I was about to do, I wouldn't hesitate to call them an idiot to their face, but I just had to talk to Tanya. I wanted her to disappear from my life, not disappear from the planet.

None of the cops there were very skilled or really seemed to know what they were doing, so no one noticed when I slipped past them. I walked up the rickety old stair case of the tower and listened quietly as I heard Charlie talking to Tanya.

"Just leave me alone, you bastard!" Tanya screamed.

"Now, I know it seems the world is out to get you right now, but it aint worth ending your life over. You really did bring it all on yourself."

It was obvious that Charlie had no idea what he was doing either. Besides the fact that Charlie seemed oblivious to her mental instabilities, he just never really had a way with words, so I decided it was time to step in.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tanya said bitterly when I stepped into view. I saw her gun then, it was held tightly in her hand, with her finger on the trigger.

"I came because I was worried," I said calmly.

"Bells, damn it, go out!" Charlie yelled.

"Yes Bella, go out; we wouldn't want precious Bella to get hurt," Tanya said mockingly, while waving the gun around in the air.

"I'll leave when you do," I told her.

Tanya laughed once. "Look at the three of us, it's just like our own little family reunion. Do you think mom is around too? Hey mom, ARE YOU HERE?" she called out towards the ceiling. "At least when mom was alive, someone _pretended_ to give a shit about me."

"We're here Tanya, so that should tell you something," I said irritated with her 'woo is me' shit.

"It's his job to be here, and you just care about him. He's the only dad I ever had, and he doesn't give a shit…my own mother even hated me so much that she just had to tell the whole fucking town just how much she detested me," Tanya said full of self pity. "Just leave me alone, and let me die in peace."

"I tried to be a father to you, but you've done nothing but push and push until I couldn't remember the reasons why I was trying," Charlie told her.

Tanya stared at him so full of hate, and I could see her gun held hand actually twitch.

"Dad, can you just go out please. I'd like to speak to her alone," I asked Charlie.

"There is no way…"

"CHARLIE, just go!" I insisted. "Stand on the staircase at least, and I'll scream if I need help."

Charlie shook his head, but I refused to back down so he eventually huffed and backed out slowly.

"There, now he's gone. It's just you and me, so let's drop all the shit that's happened between us over the years, and talk for real. Mom's newspaper article must have been difficult for you to read," I said, trying to find a place to start.

"Oh, I bet you just loved every word of that, didn't you. Is that why you came? To rub it in my face how everyone in this god forsaken town is sobbing over the life of poor Bella….Everything mom did was for your own good, but did she every give two shits about me?" she asked.

"She…"

"No, she didn't. Charlie, Edward, Anthony, none of them ever cared about me. My friends all secretly hated me, hell even the men I screwed over the years seemed to have ulterior motives, which usually had to do with their resentments towards their wives. It was never about actually wanting me, or enjoying my company... What is the point to living, if everyone hates me?"

"OH, SHUT THE HELL UP!" I yelled at her. It probably wasn't the best tactic considering she was suicidal and all, but she was just irritating the shit out of me, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I tried to end my life at one time, and I never once thought about doing some long drawn out spiel. But I guess that was the difference between her and I, she needed the drama, she absolutely craved it . "Charlie was right, you brought on all that shit yourself. You cared so much about public perception, that you surrounded yourself by people who only pretended to love you in public. You ever hear the expression 'you reap what you sow'?"

"So?" she said bitterly.

"So, if you truly loved someone, maybe you'd be truly loved back. You've never looked deep within yourself to see who you really are, and if you don't know, then how will anyone else ever love you? You've spent your whole life being jealous of what I had, that you took what was mine because you had no idea what you ever wanted for yourself. But I'm not going to sit back and let you have my family anymore. We were both weak before, and perhaps that was because Renee never really had any strength to give us, but I was forced to search within myself to create the courage to get my life back, and you need to do the same. That news article was actually the best thing that could possible happen…"

"Yeah, for you," she said scornfully.

"No, for you too. It was the one thing Renee ever did for the both of us equally."

"How in the world could you ever think that article benefited me whatsoever?" she asked sourly.

"Tanya, it gave you your freedom. You don't have to keep up the charade anymore. There isn't anything left for you here, you don't have anything to tie you down. No family, no friends, no responsibilities. Don't you see? Renee couldn't live the life she wanted to, because she was weighed down with things she never wanted…and deep down, it's the same for you. You never had a chance to really live Tanya, and now, you can. Renee was wrong about you, you weren't destined for a life as a small town house wife, you have the ability to be absolutely anything."

She was quiet for a few minutes as she considered what I was saying. "That's the thing; what if there really isn't anything deep down inside of me. What if I peel back the layers and there's nothing there to find? I have nothing left, because I never had anything to begin with," she said with tears in her eyes. "I'm not smart, or even naturally beautiful. I'm just…empty. I have no desires or dreams…my whole life has been about winning and other superficial things, and you're right, I have no idea who I am underneath it all."

"Well, you'll never know if you kill yourself," I said gently.

She shook her head and let the tears roll down her cheeks. "I can't start over…and I can't go back," she said and then raised the gun to her temple.

"Tanya, don't!" I cried.

"I bet no one will even mourn me," she said distantly, and then closed her eyes.

"I will," I said strongly.

"Huh?" she asked confused as she opened her eyes and looked at me, but kept the gun to her head.

"You're wrong about no one loving you or caring about you, because I do," I told her, and as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were true.

"How could you love me after I took everything that ever mattered to you?" she asked quietly in disbelief.

"Because you're my sister, and believe it or not, when I was a kid, there wasn't anyone I looked up to more than you. Everyone thinks you took Anthony because you wanted to hurt me, because you wanted what was mine, but I know the truth. You took Edward for that reason, but you took Anthony because you couldn't have your own children and you longed for someone to love you unconditionally, the way you thought only a baby could. You thought you never had that, not even Renee loved you that way, but I did."

"Why are you saying this?" she asked brokenly. "I took the guy you loved, _I took your child_, and I have never done anything but try to break you down. I forced you away from home, made you turn to drugs and a life on the streets…"

"And I'm still here. See, unconditional. Maybe you know it deep down, maybe that's why you've tried to hurt me. You hate yourself so much, that you have done anything and everything to make me hate you just as much. And over the years, I couldn't imagine hating anyone else more than you, but…that was all on the surface, because I could never hate you completely…even if you deserve it."

She shook her head. "I do deserve it," she whispered.

"Yes, you do, but it doesn't change the fact that I still love you. Sometimes, the people we hurt the most, are the ones we know will always forgive us."

"So what? We can just go back to being sisters and have family barbeques on Sundays?" she said with a humorless laugh.

"No, I'm not that forgiving," I told her honestly. "But we can wish each other well, and maybe in time, we can keep in touch with letters. I think we both need time to heal the pain that we caused, that Renee caused, and we need to find our own way. I'm not staying in Forks, and neither should you. Go out, find your true place in the world, and start living for the first time in your life."

"What if I can't find anything?" she asked hopelessly.

"Then keep looking until you do. If you go somewhere and can't find anything to keep you there, then move on until you find what your heart is looking for. Be honest with yourself, you never loved Edward, so go discover what it's like to really love someone. If you really want to be a mother after that, adopt…from someone who really doesn't want their child."

"There's no child who would want me as a mother. Anthony didn't know the truth, but he couldn't love me," she said emotionlessly.

"You held yourself back. You kept a wall up between you and him, because you knew it was wrong. You couldn't love him as a mother, because you knew he belonged with me and one day I'd come back to claim him. You had to protect yourself, because you knew someday the truth would come out and he wouldn't forgive you. That wall you built, went both ways. You didn't allow yourself to feel like his mother, and in turn, he didn't feel like you were. It doesn't have to be that way for you in the future. Get married for the right reasons, and adopt a baby that you can give your heart to, and I guarantee it'll love you back….or, don't have kids and find something else that fills you."

"It sounds so simple when you put it that way," she murmured.

"It's not simple, it's the opposite actually. I'm sure this will be the most difficult thing you ever do, but…what do you have to lose?"

"Nothing," she whispered.

"And you have everything to gain. Kill yourself now, and you'll never know what could be out there waiting for you," I told her intensely.

She lowered the gun and looked at it in her lap. "I can't imagine what it would be like…to have someone look at me the way Edward has always looked at you. I thought….I thought that if I could somehow get Edward to be with me, he'd eventually love me like that…. But he never did. That sparkle in his eye that was always there when he saw you before…that light…it just disappeared completely." Tanya looked up at me then. "He was in love with you way back then, you know. I could see it, it was really strong and I used it to my advantage."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"He was a twelve year old adolescent boy , who didn't understand his intense emotions for a nine year old little girl. I tried…acting like you. Doing the things I thought he liked about you…but I used my developing body as a boost. I tried to be an older _you_, and he fell for it. He didn't fall in love with me, but I convinced him that love didn't really matter. It was superficial, and I'm sorry any of it ever happened."

I nodded, and as much as I told myself that an apology from her wouldn't mean anything, it actually did. It meant a lot, and I knew the reason for that was the fact that it was sincere. For the first time, she seemed to really a truly understand how wrong she was. She understood me, and I understood her. It would never excuse anything that she did, and I'd never be ok with her being around my family, but at the same time, she'd always be my sister, and yes, I'd always love her.

"Tell me something Bella," she said, waking me from my reverie. "Are you happy? I mean really and completely happy?"

I needed to think about it for a minute, just to really understand what she was asking me. Normally, I'd think a question like that coming from her would be a snide remark revolving around her in some way, but then I realized that it was actually a legitimate question.

"Yes, I really am," I told her confidently.

"With Edward? He's changed a lot since the guy you used to know. Maybe it was our relationship that did it, but he's definitely not the same carefree loving guy he once was. There's an anger about him, and I just don't ever want him directing that towards you."

"I know he's changed; we both have. But the core of who we are, that's what will always be there," I told her slowly.

"That 'core' you keep talking about, I never knew _anyone_ like that," she said quietly. "It's good you two know each other deep down, but I can see what you meant about knowing yourself first. Thank you, Bella. You had no reason to come here…._but I'm really glad you did_," she said heavily through a new round of tears. She put the gun down on the ground then, and stood. "I swear, you'll never have to worry about me again. I'm going to go…well, I'm sure I'll probably be arrested and forced to spend time in a mental hospital….but, after that, I'm going to try to find my 'core'."

I nodded. "That's good."

"Bella, please don't be worried about me coming back to find you. I'd never try to take Anthony away from you…_again_."

"I know you won't….cause I'd fight you to the death…and I'd win. I'm much tougher than you," I said with a halfhearted smile.

"That, you definitely are. You always have been, and always will," she said sincerely.

"You'll find the strength you need. Look, you've already taken the first step," I told her.

She nodded. "You're pregnant?" she said after looking at me without the veil of hatred.

I hesitated, thinking it might undo all our progress, but then I held my head up high, and nodded. Perhaps it was a test, but I refused to be worried about her behavior ever again.

"Wow, you didn't waste any time," she said reluctantly. "I assume it's Edward's."

"I got pregnant when you were on vacation in Italy," I said fearlessly.

She raised her eyebrows, and then nodded. "I guess I already knew you were with him then. He demanded a divorce the day I got back…but even more than that, he was completely different than the guy he was before I left. He was stronger, more confident…there was a glimmer of that spark that had long been burned out in his eyes. He really loves you…even after all this time. As odd as this sounds, I'm happy for you both. You deserve some peace."

"Thank you," I said softly.

"You should go out first, just so they don't think that I shot you or something," she said with sad laugh.

I looked at her speculatively. Was her newfound desire to find her 'core' just an act? She could have been telling me to go first so she could be alone to shoot herself, and I couldn't let that happen. I would part ways with her after we left that place, and perhaps never see her again thus giving her plenty of opportunities to end her own life, but I refused to let her do it on that day. If she was going to end up killing herself later on, then she'd do after she had a chance to think about everything I said, and that way, I'd know for sure I did all I could.

"No, we'll go out together," I told her while waiting by the exit.

She nodded subtly, and then walked beside me out to the stairwell. Charlie was still waiting there, and the relief was heavy on his face when he saw both of us safe. He'd never admit it out of loyalty to me, but like his feelings for Renee, he would always care for Tanya. She was a daughter to him, and even though too much had happened to continue that relationship, he couldn't hate her completely.

Charlie stepped aside so Tanya and I could go in front of him, and as we passed, he patted my back. I understood the gesture, it was a 'thank you', as well as an 'I'm glad you're safe'. I smiled at him, and we continued on until we got outside.

Charlie took Tanya's arm gently and led her towards his police car, but before they could get too far from me, Tanya called after me.

"Bella!"

I looked at her and waited.

"I know this seems unbelievable, but…I love you too."

"Unconditionally," I said with a smile.

"Irrevocably," she said before smiling back sorrowfully, and then she ducked into the back of Charlie's cruiser.

I took a deep cleansing breath, before looking towards where I left Edward by our car…but he wasn't there. I didn't panic as I looked around for a minute not seeing him, because I knew without a doubt that he was there somewhere. Edward would never leave me for any reason; _that_ I knew as fact.

"Eehum," an officer cleared his throat. "Are you looking for him?" he asked me as he pointed to the back seat of his police car.

My mouth fell open in shock, as I locked eyes with Edward…who appeared to have been arrested. I glanced back at the cop who pointed him out, and noticed that he had a fresh black eye.

"Ooo, did he do that to you?" I asked the officer sheepishly.

"Yes ma'am, he did. He didn't like the fact that we wouldn't let him go in there after you, so he shot me his right hook while I was trying to restrain him. Now, assault on an officer is a serious crime…but in this case, I'm willing to let it slide. I just put him in there so he could cool off; I should take him down to the station and let him sit in jail for a few hours, but….I won't," he said with a wink.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much Officer…." I paused to read his nametag, "Uley."

"Well, to be honest, I would have done the same thing if my wife Emily was in your situation. And trust me, she is as stubborn as you seem," he said with a laugh.

I followed him to his car, and waited for him to open the door to let Edward out. The moment he was free, Edward wrapped his arms around me and held our bodies together tightly. "Thank god you're safe," he said no louder than a breath. He held me for a good two minutes, and then he pulled back to look in my face. "Now, I'm not going to tell you how incredibly stupid and reckless that was….but that was _recklessly stupid_," he said with a scolding smile.

"Are you going to take my bike away?" I asked playfully, referring to his punishment for Anthony when he ran away.

He smirked. "I might. Maybe I'll just be angry and keep my hands to myself tonight," he said playfully.

"Really?" I asked with a smile. "Can I watch?"

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"You said you were going to keep your hands to your _yourself_," I said with a lip biting smile while looking down _below_ his belt suggestively.

"Oh…you're gr…" he started to say 'gross', but I shut him up by pressing my lips to his.

"Hey, I thought you said I was going to get to see how 'disgusting' you can really be? Well, I'm ready to start seeing it," I said erotically.

He smiled crookedly, and I could see the wheels in his mind turning as he planned exactly what he wanted to do to me.

"Well, my 'disgusting' behavior has nothing to do with keeping my hands to myself," he said as his smile transformed into a sinister grin.

"Mmm, can't wait," I said in almost a purr, and let my hands slip obscurely under his shirt.

"Ok, we need to leave now," he said desperately.

"Wait, don't you want to hear what happened in there?" I asked him as he drug me towards the car.

"Yes, of course…_after_ I spend a few hours inside you," he said before opening the passenger side door for me, and rushing back around to get in the driver's seat.

"I swear, you must be the only guy who gets aroused from just getting your stomach caressed," I said with a giggle.

"Only when _you_ do it. _And_, your breath on my neck definitely adds to it," he said and then pushed even harder on the gas pedal.

"You are going to get pulled over," I said looking at the speedometer.

"No, I won't; all the Forks cops are back there," he said unconcerned.

I scooted closer to him so I could graze my nails up his arm, which made him actually lean his head back and close his eyes.

"Watch the road!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry," he said and then abruptly pulled off the street, and continued on into the cover of the trees.

"What are you doing?" I asked slightly amused.

"I'm not going to be able to make it all the way to the house," he said breathlessly. I grinned widely and when the car stopped, I looked to make sure we were fully hidden from the road, and then climbed on top of him so I was straddling his lap. I stayed up on my knees so he could unbutton his pants and I could move my panties to the side under my skirt, and then I sunk down on him, taking him all the way inside me. Pure. Agonizing. Euphoric. Bliss.

It had been another _rollercoaster of emotions_ kind of day, but it seemed as though no matter how difficult or stressful any day was, it always ended with Edward and I being wrapped up together…as it should be. I could handle any amount of horror, as long as Edward was always there to kiss away the pain afterwards.

That evening, Charlie began telling me what happened to Tanya after he took her from the mill, but I stopped him because I really didn't care to know. I made my peace with her, and it was time to move forward. I hoped to hear from he again one day, but only after she's healed and made a life of her own; until then, I refused to give her one more thought. I spent far too much of my life stressing about my sister, and that was all behind me.

Strangely enough, after my encounter with Tanya, I felt a sense of peace that I never knew existed, and I knew my time in Forks was officially complete. I did everything that I didn't know I needed to do, and I was satisfied that I could leave and feel like nothing was unresolved. I didn't hate the town anymore, but I didn't belong there either, and neither did Edward and Anthony. The three of us packed our stuff, and moved to New York the following week.

We didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but we were certain of one thing, no matter what we did, or where we went, the future would not find us separated. Even after our kids grew up and moved away from home, we would always be there for them, and we'd never let our family fall apart the way mine had. Our kids would grow to know stability, but more importantly, they'll know what it's like to truly love someone and be loved, because Edward and I demonstrated that for them each and every single day.

* * *

><p><strong>***The last chapterepilogue will fast forward through time a bit, and see where they all are in the years to come. I hope you liked the story so far, and I really appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to read this. If you review, thanks so so much; reviews are like fan fiction compensation. But if you've read without reviewing, then I thank you as well. **

**Even when things weren't completely believable, I hope this story has done its purpose and entertained you, if not, then to hell with you! lol **

**The story should be completed in the next few days.**

**Please Review!**

**Thanks again,  
>~KC<strong>

**P.S. The banners to my next B/E AH story 'Between Love and Honor', are up on my profile along with a brief description. It's different than all my others, but I hope you'll give it a chance. Hopefully I'll have the first chapter up soon, so if you haven't already, please A**uthor Alert** me. Thanks.**


	17. Always

**She Will Be Loved**

~_Always_~  
>BPOV<p>

Life in New York was definitely different than how I expected….in a good way. I really thought we would take awhile to get adjusted to life together in the big city, but the three of us quickly fell into a comfortable routine. It was like we were meant to be there, and everything seemed to fall into place.

Edward headed up the East Coast portion of Jasper's company, and he seemed to really enjoy it. Being the boss definitely had its perks, the biggest of which was being able to take spontaneous time off to be with his family whenever he felt like it.

Anthony loved his new start in New York as well. He made one of the top hockey teams, and actually made some real friends.

During the remainder of my pregnancy, I did an online course to get my GED. Even though I was almost twenty six years old before I got my high school diploma, I was actually really proud of it. For the longest time, I never expected to live to see my mid twenties, so the fact that I had gone so far, really was amazing to me.

Edward and I married in a civil ceremony two months before the birth of our baby, because neither of us wanted a huge lavish wedding. We didn't want anything big and flashy; we just wanted to be married. Jacob was my maid of honor and served as our official witness, and Charlie, Emmett, and Rose all flew out to be there with us as well. It was at the courthouse, but was surprisingly intimate and full of love, which was absolutely perfect for us.

The years past, and our lives became just like I had always dreamed, wonderfully monotonous. Before I knew it, Anthony was in high school.

"Hi, Mrs. Masen," one of Anthony's friends said when they were all over after school one day.

"Hi Tyler, how are you today?" I asked distractedly while finishing my homework. After getting my GED and taking a couple years off to spend with my growing family, I was finally on the road to getting my English Literature degree at NYU. I started at a JC, but worked hard to get the grades to transfer to the university after only eighteen months. I stayed in touch with Esme over the years, mostly over the phone, and she encouraged me to look into becoming a therapist. She said I had a natural way with people, but my real professional love was still books, and my goal was to become an editor. I was a full time student, but I refused to miss out on my kids' lives, so I made a point to always be home when they finished school every day.

"Can I help you with anything this afternoon?" Tyler asked me strangely over my shoulder. He was standing a little too close for comfort, so I looked up at him questionably.

"Uh…no thanks," I said uncomfortably.

"Damn it Tyler, I told you to leave my mom alone," Anthony said angrily as he stormed into the room.

"What? I was just seeing if she needed anything," Tyler said innocently.

"Yeah right. Stop drooling over my mom before I kick your ass, and then my dad will get home and kick your ass a second time," Anthony threatened him.

"Anthony," I said with a scolding tone.

"Mom, he has the hots for you, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore," Anthony said before grabbing his friend by the collar of his shirt, and pushing him out the door. "Don't come back until you learn some boundaries."

I had no idea what to say about that, so I shrugged it off. "Are any of your other friends staying for dinner?" I asked him casually.

"Nah, I'm going to send them all home so I can take CJ to the park. He wants me to help him with his batting."

"He's five," I said incredulously.

"Don't knock the kid, he's driven; he told me he wants to be a pro ball player. I tried steering him towards hockey, but all he cares about is baseball," Anthony explained.

"Ok," I said with a grin.

CJ had just turned five, and he was definitely a handful. He was always being mischievous and he never had an ounce of shyness. He'd talk to anyone, and was never afraid to play ticks on people. Needless to say, we had already been in the principal's office for the trouble he caused in his kindergarten class on multiple occasions. CJ had his dad and brother's gorgeous face, but his hair was dark like mine and he had Edward's eye color, which was opposite from Anthony. I had been secretly hoping for a girl when I was pregnant with him, but having another boy was actually perfect. From the moment he could walk, CJ followed his big brother around like a lost puppy. They adored each other, and I couldn't think of anything more heartwarming than that. We named him Charles Jacob Masen, CJ for short; it was a way to honor two important men in our lives, and before he was even born, I knew that had to be his name. Edward agreed completely.

I'd never forget the moment we revealed his name to them….

"_This is Charles Jacob," I told my dad and best friend when they came into the recovery room to meet him. Charlie looked honored and became teary eyed, but Jacob completely lost it._

"_No one has ever done anything like this for me," Jake blubbered. "I just can't believe it, you have no idea what this means to me."_

"_I would have died without you," I told him emotionally. "From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew he would carry your name; there isn't a single other name that would have fit."_

"_Well, it's a good thing he was a boy then. One cross dresser in the family is enough," he said jokingly. _

"_If he turned out to be a girl, her name would have been Carlie Jaclyn," I said with a wink. _

"_I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you," Jake murmured with a kiss to my cheek. _

"_I love you too," I whispered back. "Thank you for always being there for me."_

Having a newborn in the house, was an amazing thing. CJ was a very calm baby, and actually managed to bring us even closer as a family. Edward was always happy to change diapers and help with three am feedings; of course, I was nursing so there wasn't much he could do in that department.

I seriously worried that having a baby on my breast all the time would have been sort of a turn off, but Edward seemed to get even friskier than ever. The moment I felt up to having sex again, we were back on, and even more passionate than ever.

Obviously, it wasn't long before I got pregnant again.

One month before CJ had his first birthday, we welcomed our daughter into the family. We named her after Edward's mother, and my grandmother; Elizabeth Marie. CJ couldn't pronounce Elizabeth, so he called her Les, which actually stuck. We all called her Les, and she had all of us wrapped around her prissy little finger. She had auburn hair, and the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Anthony's eyes were brown like mine, CJ had green eyes like Edward's, and Les was a mix of both; brown swirled with green, and completely mesmerizing.

A few weeks after Les was born, I actually became the one who was horny all the time. Edward had learned his lesson by getting frisky too soon after CJ was born, but I wanted him so badly, even more than normal, and to be honest, condoms weren't something we ever even thought about using. So after some long discussions, we decided to have Edward get a vasectomy. We were happy with our three kids, and knew our family was complete. Plus, I had been pregnant for almost two years straight, and I didn't care to ever do it again. Feeling a baby inside of me was a magical thing, but it was extremely exhausting at the same time, and I wanted to enjoy the kids we already had.

…..

"Are you taking Les to the park too?" I asked Anthony after he made his friends all leave for the day. Our condo seemed to be the social meeting place for all of Anthony's friends, which was fine by us, but it wasn't very often that Anthony didn't have someone over, so I was planning to take full advantage of our _family only_ time.

"I thought she had dance class?" Anthony asked confused.

"I'm sure she'd rather go to the park with her big brothers," I said encouragingly.

"Alright. We'll be back in a couple hours for dinner," he said before grabbing his car keys.

"Anthony, the park is around the corner, you don't need to drive," I said to him. He just got his license, and he was loving his new found freedom. He drove anywhere he could, but since the park was so close, and with it being the city there wasn't much parking available, I thought it was a little silly.

"But mom, what if it starts raining or something," he actually whined.

"This is New York, not Seattle," I said while looking through the window at the clear blue sky. "You'll be fine," I told him before grabbing his face tightly, and pulling him to me so I could give him a big fat kiss on the cheek.

"Mom, that's gross," he complained, but I saw the smirk he couldn't contain as he wiped his face off with his sleeve.

"Oh, you love my kisses," I teased.

"I'm not ten anymore, someone could have seen that," he said paranoid as he looked out the window behind him.

"We live on twentieth floor," I said with a laugh.

"Still, there are…birds, and things," he said as seriously as possible, but then grinned at himself.

"I love you," I said sweetly.

"Love you too, mom," he said with mock annoyance before going to get his siblings from their rooms.

"By mommy," CJ said as the three of them walked towards the door to leave.

"Listen to your brother, and no fighting," I told both CJ and Les. They were so close in age, that they were often mistaken for twins; they adored each other, but they fought just as much.

"I'm going to be the catcher," Les said, and I had to giggle at the way she was dressed. She was wearing one of her tutus over a pair of holy jeans, and one of Anthony's old hockey jerseys, which was way too big for her.

"OK, have a good time," I said as they came over to hug me.

"And where are you going?" I heard Edward say to Anthony as he came home from work.

"Oh, you know, the alleyway to find a homeless dude to buy me and my friends some beer," Anthony replied like a smartass.

"Cool, just don't get anyone pregnant. I'm too young to be a grandfather right now," Edward said lightly while slapping him on the back.

"Daddy!" CJ and Les yelled simultaneously, and ran to throw themselves at him.

"Hey," he said while scooping them both up and tickling them.

"Daddy stop, we have to go to the park," CJ said through his laughter.

"The park? What about dance class?" he asked Les.

"Not today. Today, Anthony is actually playing with us," Les said excitedly.

"What? Anthony is taking time out of his busy social networking to play? Wow, what's the occasion?" Edward teased Anthony. "Wait a minute, you did get a chick pregnant, didn't you?" he joked with fake horror.

"Dad," Anthony said annoyed. "My girlfriend lives on the other side of the country."

"How do boys get girls pregnant, anyway?" CJ asked Edward curiously.

"Uh-ha," Edward said flustered.

"The Dildo bird comes, stupid," Les said to CJ.

Edward and I just stared at each other baffled for a moment, before I realized what she was saying. "No honey, you mean Dodo bird, but I think you're actually talking about a stork."

"Oh right, a snork. Rose said that's where her baby came from," Les said with a smile.

"Stork," I corrected her with a giggle.

"Is a stork really coming here for Anthony?" CJ asked confused. "If you want, I can get the beebe gun grandpa got me, and I'll shoot it when it comes."

"You're not old enough for that gun yet, and there's no bird bringing a baby for Anthony," I said sternly while shooting Edward a dirty look. Edward smirked sheepishly, and then put up his hands in a defensive position.

"How is that long distance thing working out for you anyway?" Edward asked Anthony seriously. "She is still a little young, you know."

"Dad, just because you were too stupid to realize what you had with mom when you were my age, doesn't mean that I'm going to make that same mistake. Claire and I are fine. She's only two years younger than me anyway," Anthony said snootily.

Claire was Rose's daughter, and after a long battle with social services, Rose finally got back custody. She and Emmett married and recently had a son together. They still lived in Washington, but we visited as much as we could; besides, Charlie was still the police chief there, so we would always return on vacations and holidays.

From the moment Anthony and Claire met, they were immediately smitten with each other. Their friendship quickly grew into something more, and unlike his father before him, Anthony wasn't afraid of it. He was old enough to know the truth about what happened between Edward and me, so he refused to follow down the same path. Anthony loved Claire, and he knew he could be patient and move at her speed as far as romance was concerned. They were sixteen and fourteen, but I could see that their connection went far deeper than their years. It still baffled my mind that both Anthony and his girlfriend were older than I was when I became pregnant with him. They both seemed so young, and I couldn't imagine either of them going through what I did

"Come on, Anthony," CJ pleaded.

"Ok, ok," he said and then grabbed Les's hand before the three of them walked out the door.

"You really need to cool it when it comes to Claire with him," I told Edward when we were alone. He walked over to me and ran his hands down my arms, and he moved his lips so they were brushing against mine as we spoke.

"I know, I'll apologize when he gets back," he puckered and kissed me gently. "I just realized that I didn't even say hello to you yet," he said, staying in the same close position.

"Hello," I said with a smile.

"Are we really alone?" he asked with a scheming tone.

"Completely," I said before pressing my lips back to his, and immediately began undoing his belt.

Our love and desire for each other never decreased over the years; in fact, it probably grew stronger. We could hardly keep our hands off each other, and even on the rare occasions when we did argue, we always ended it with fit of passion afterwards. With the exception of when he was away on business, there wasn't a night that went by when we didn't make love in some way. Even during my cycle or when one of us was sick, we still found a way to connect. It wasn't even about the sex; it was just the need to physically express the very deep and intense love we had for one another. Sometimes, it felt so strong that I was sure I'd burst if I didn't express it with him immediately, and it didn't matter where we were at the time, we could always find a place to be alone to work out that tension.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Edward asked after we made love on the kitchen countertop.

"Nothing," I said straight faced, before cleaning up after our tryst. We didn't really make a mess, but I felt uncomfortable knowing the kids frequently used that counter surface to leave their drinks on and whatnot.

Edward laughed once. "I meant it as a rhetorical question."

"I know," I said seriously, but then broke down and smiled. "But I deserve you, so just be grateful."

"I love you so much, and I'm unbelievably grateful," he said before wrapping his arms back around me and kissing my neck.

"Mmm, you better stop before we have to make love again, and risk the kids coming in and catching us," I muttered feebly.

"We probably have time…" he said before lifting me back onto the counter.

"I just cleaned this," I protested.

"Mmhum," he mumbled as he continued to kiss, lick, and nip at my neck.

"Ok, well I could always clean it again…just don't give me a hickey" I said breathlessly while completely losing my battle with self-control.

After we finished our second round of passion, I pushed him away from me and wouldn't allow him to touch me again until later that night. If I let him, he definitely would have pushed our luck and tried for a third time, which we definitely would have be caught during.

The kids came back as I was cleaning up _again_.

"Hey, how did it go?" I asked before noticing that the two younger kids were covered in dried chocolate ice cream. "I see you got a treat," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, sorry, I know its dinner time and all, they just wouldn't take no for an answer," Anthony explained. "What is for dinner, anyway?" he asked after noticing that I wasn't cooking anything.

I looked at Edward shamefully, because I just realized that we had been having sex practically the entire time I was supposed to be making dinner.

"We're ordering pizza," Edward said quickly with a wink to me.

"Yay Pizza!" CJ cheered.

"I want cheese and pickles," Les said.

"Cheese and pickles?" Edward looked at her disturbed.

"We'll just get cheese, and you can add the pickles on your own slice," I told her. Les always wanted to experiment with new types of food, whereas the boys were pretty picky, so I tried not to discourage her odd combinations.

Edward grabbed the phone to call in the pizzas, and then Anthony suddenly seemed like he remembered something, so he ran back out the door.

"Where's he going so fast?" CJ asked.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

Anthony came back within five minutes, with a hand full of mail.

"Are you expecting something?" I asked amused as he started discarding everything he wasn't interested in.

"It's Wednesday," Anthony said plainly.

"Oh, that's right," I remembered. On top of phone calls, email, texting, and Skype, Anthony and Claire agreed to send a hand written letter to each other once a week, and Claire's always arrived on Wednesdays.

I started to casually look through the 'unimportant' mail that Anthony threw to the side, when something caught my eye.

"What's that?" Edward asked curiously.

"I'm not sure," I said as I opened the medium sized envelope that appeared to have been relabeled. Inside were two smaller envelopes, along with a letter.

_Hey Bells,  
>Hope everything is good with everyone.<br>These came last week, and I debated whether or not to actually send them to you,  
>but I know you're fully capable of handling this sort of thing yourself.<br>Love you, can't wait to see you for Thanksgiving.  
>~Dad<em>

I put his letter aside, and looked at the envelopes; one was labeled 'Bella' and the other was labeled 'Anthony'. Even though there weren't any return addresses, I knew immediately that they were from Tanya. It had been over five years, and this was the first time I heard from her since she threatened suicide at the mill. My first reaction was anger knowing she had sent a letter to Anthony too, that was never part of the deal, but for some unknown reason, I couldn't bring myself to just throw them in the garbage.

Edward became distracted by playing with the kids, so he didn't question what I was looking at any further, and I wasn't going to bring it to his attention at that moment either. I put the letters in a drawer and decided to look at them closer at a later time.

Three days later, and I had yet to open Tanya's letter or even tell Edward about them, but each time I walked into the kitchen, I felt like it was screaming at me to open. So that night, after I had worn Edward out and he was asleep, I reluctantly went quietly to the kitchen to read the letter alone. I wasn't sure at the time why I didn't want to tell Edward about them right away, I had no plans on keeping it from him, but after really thinking about it, I guess I didn't tell him because I knew he'd react negatively, and I wanted to try to keep an open mind. As I opened the letter addressed to me, I still wasn't sure if five years was nearly enough time to be in any contact with her whatsoever, but it was there, and I felt like I had to read it.

_Dear Bella,_

_I wasn't planning on writing to you so soon, when you mentioned that we could possibly make contact again one day, I knew you meant after a few decades, but I felt like just needed to reach out to you. I also included a letter to Anthony, and before you get angry, please know that it's just an apology and I fully expect you to read it before giving it to him. I'm sure he's old enough now to understand everything that happened, and I needed to tell him how sorry I am, but if you decide not to give him the letter at all, I completely understand._

_I just wanted to begin by telling you that you were absolutely right. Of course you were right, you were always the smarter one of us, but I needed you to know that what you told me about finding my own way, was entirely true. I spent three years in intense therapy, and will continue to go for the rest of my life, but I believe I have come a long way._

_Last year I moved to Alaska, and even though I have always hated the cold, I absolutely love it here. I've taken up painting, and this is the perfect place to find inspiration…not to mention the fact that the man to woman ratio is like three to one, or some insane number like that. And six months ago, I did the impossible, I fell in love. True, deep, passionate love, the kind I never thought could ever exist for me. She completes me in a way that I never expected, and no, you didn't read that wrong, I did write 'she'.  
>Her name is Siobhan, and she is the love of my life. I never had desires for a woman before, but when I met her, it was like my entire life had been leading me on the path to find her; she understands the real me, my 'core', and doesn't judge. I was a little uneasy about talking about my new life partner, but I figured that if anyone understood blind love, it was you. She's a photographer, so we spend a lot of time camping in the wilderness so she can take pictures and I can paint. I know what you're thinking, Tanya… in the wilderness…it doesn't make sense, but I really feel like a different person now. Siobhan has made me so happy, though the men here aren't too thrilled that two women are unavailable to them because we're dating each other, but we really don't care. We have four babies together, all of the canine variety, but that's all we need. We live in a small one bedroom house, where the electricity is often out and the internet is nonexistent, but I couldn't imagine life any better.<em>

_Bella, I'd understand if none of this interest you, hell, you probably will throw this away without reading it and never know anything about me, but I just wanted to say Thank You…for saving my life. You saved my life that day at the mill, but you also saved my sanity and gave me a chance to find true happiness._

_Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and I love you more than either of us could possibly believe before. If you ever want to write to me, I included my address on the inside flap of the envelope, but I won't get my hopes up. I hope your life is as full of love and happiness as you deserve, and if Edward or anyone else ever treats you wrong, I swear I'll be the first one to make him pay._

_May the rest of your days be beautiful,  
>Love Always,<br>Tanya_

…

"Hey, I felt cold so I rolled over in bed, and you were gone. Is everything ok?" Edward asked me softly as he joined me in the kitchen.

I laughed quietly. "You were cold, or horny?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Both," he said shamelessly. "What's that?" he asked after seeing the paper in my hands.

I sighed, and then handed him the letter. "I got this a few days ago, I just wasn't sure if I was actually going to read it until tonight.

"It's from Tanya," he said surprised.

"Yep."

"Do you mind if I read it?" he asked me hesitantly.

"Go ahead, prepare yourself though, it's a little shocking," I said truthfully.

Edward was quiet while he read the letter, but then the intense expression on his face suddenly broke, and he began full out laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked and couldn't help but smile at his hysterics.

"I turned her into a lesbian," he managed to choke out between his laughter.

"That's not something you should be proud of," I teased him, so he abruptly stopped laughing.

"Oh…right," he said quietly to himself.

"Although, you can't really take credit for this, I mean she was with a lot of other guys during your marriage," I said casually.

Edward nodded. "I bet she was always a lesbian…it sure would explain a lot," he said seriously, and then we both started laughing again.

I wasn't sure how to feel when I was reading her letter, but since Edward and I were laughing about it, I knew without a doubt that were both completely and entirely long past hating her. Our lives were too full and far too amazing to hold any room for hate, even for her, and I felt extremely light from that realization.

"Do you think we should give Anthony his letter?" I asked him after a few minutes.

Edward shrugged. "He already knows everything, but it's your call."

"I think we should. Maybe he still has some unresolved issues with her that he's hiding deep down, and this could help him," I decided.

Even though we agreed that Anthony should have his letter, we still decided to open it and read it first. It was actually very heartfelt, basically consisting of her sorrow and regret, along with her love. It was things she was never able to express to him before, but while reading them, I actually believed every word.

The next morning, we sat Anthony down, and gave him the letter. I waited anxiously while he read it without any facial expressions, and when he was done, he very casually got up and tossed it into the garbage carelessly.

"Anthony, are you ok?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah, why?" he asked confused.

"Well, how does that make you feel?" I asked worriedly.

He shrugged. "I've been over this for a long time now. It doesn't make me feel anything, because I really don't care anymore. I'm glad she's happy, _I guess_, but I could care less if I never hear from her again."

"Are you sure?" I asked skeptically, unsure if he was being honest about his true feelings or not.

"Mom, I swear, I have no pain, or sadness, or even anger left for her. That's nothing but the distant past, and I have no desire to dwell on it."

As Anthony spoke, I knew it was the truth. He always saw things very clearly when it came to Tanya. He was strong, and if anyone could handle what she did, it was definitely him.

"He gets that from you, you know," Edward said tenderly after Anthony left the room.

"What?" I asked confused.

"The quiet fierceness that makes him able to move past the most painful situations, along with limitless ability to forgive. You are his strength; before you, he wasn't even half of what he's become, and he would have never reached any of it without you. You gave CJ and Les that strength too, and I will never cease to be amazed by you."

"No, I just knew what I wanted and refused to stop until I got there," I said, feeling very emotional from his compliment.

"When will you ever see yourself clearly," he said lovingly, and then he pulled me into him for a soft but passionate kiss….

"Eww!" a little voice said from the hallway.

"Eww?" Edward said teasingly. He went and grabbed Les, and swung her around before peppering kisses all over her face.

"Daddy stop, that's gross," she said while giggling.

CJ ran to them from the other room, and practically jumped into Edward's playful arms.

"Hey, where did Anthony go?" Edward asked me while the kids wrestled on top of him.

"I think back to his room," I guessed.

"Hey, come on, let's go bug your brother," Edward said to Les and CJ.

"No daddy, he said we weren't allowed in his room," CJ said quickly.

"Well, then this will be even more fun. Come on, let's go," he told them mischievously.

"Yeah, let's get'em," Les said eagerly.

I followed the three of them into Anthony's room, and watched with a smile as they all dog piled on top of him on his bed. There wasn't anything I loved more than watching my husband playing with our kids; it was my biggest joy, and when my life was over one day, I'd look back on my time and be blissfully satisfied.

I had everything I ever wanted, and as much as I liked to say it was wonderful to take it all for granted, I knew I never would. I walked a decade in hell to get to where I belonged, and that was something that could never be taken light of. I won, I beat the demons that held me back, including the ones within me, and I created the family I always needed. Even if I would never admit it out loud, Edward was right, I was strong, and I had every right to be proud of everything I accomplished.

"Mommy come on, help us beat up Anthony," Les called to me while laughing.

I smiled, and then ran and jumped on top of the piled up Masens on the bed. Anthony was bitter about our intrusion at first, but then he gave up his teenaged sulk, and we all played _together_ for the rest of the morning…. just as we would for the rest of our lives. Always together, even if not physically, our love would keep us united forever.

A few weeks later, I wrote to my sister. I told her about my life, as she had told me about hers, and I introduced my two younger children to her by sending a picture. Two weeks after that, I got another letter from Tanya.

_Dear Bella,  
>Your children are beautiful, and I can't believe how much Anthony has grown.<br>Thank you so much for sending the picture.  
>May you always be so blessed….<em>

I knew we would continue to write back and forth, but only time would tell if I'd ever be willing to have a real face to face meeting with her again; at the moment, I still couldn't imagine it.

I was so confident in my family and in my future, that I had no fear. Hatred, resentment, and anger were all things of my past, and I would not fall victim to the cancer that those negative emotions can create, the way my mother had. Life, love, passion, those were my future, and I would hang onto them until long after the day I die.

_Always_.

**The End**

* * *

><p><strong>**Once again, thank you so much for reading this, I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Like with all my stories, I'll actually miss these characters, but their lives are happy now, and happiness is boring. lol. <strong>

**Don't forget to look on my profile and check out my other stories. I have a lot of them, all of which have banners or collages, and my new B/E AH story 'Between Love and Honor' will be up soon. **

**Please, please, take a minute and give this story one last review, I'd really appreciate it.**

**~KC**


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